so pissed

[want_so_bad 0]

my stupid ass dh got arrested feb 3 for a dui. well, let me tell ya the story:

stupid ass dh LIES to me about going to the bar in the first place. him and 2 guys he works with. one of the other guys was driving back to their place, missed the turn, wrecks car into snowbank. someone stops to help them, husband is behind wheel to drive car while its pulled out. that is when the officer pulls up. he arrests guy driving in the first place for dui. is going to charge my stupid dh and 3rd guy w/ public intox. officer goes to car, comes back, has decided to arrest dh for dui also.

i am so furious w/ dh cant stand to look at him...still, a month later! on with the story....

the guy driving went to court a week ago, charges all dismissed. interesting?????

stupid dh goes today for drivers license hearing...charges not dismissed. very strange. he only blew a .083, limit is .08.... not to excuse him. if it werent for needing his paycheck i say throw is stupid liein ass in jail! the officer talks to dh in hallwall, tells him he REALLY needs to get a copy of the police report? strange... so we do.

that stupid freakin jerkoff that was driving told the officer once he was in the patrol car that HE LIED! and he wasnt driving and my stupid dh and the 3rd guy, lets call him asshole #3, pressured him into saying he was and he just started the job and was scared. FUCKING LIAR! sorry. i am usually not like this. but he is f-ing w/ my world and i am not a happy camper. so basically its his doing that my dh got the f-ing dui in the first place. i swear to god that stupid f-er better hope i dont ever see him. wtf is wrong w/ people?

omg i just want to scream and cry and just....UGHHHHHH!!!!

so now we are on to a trial, spending a shitload of money on a lawyer. i know its my dh's fault all in all. but that guy lied his ass off to get out of it, putting my world in a tailspin. stupid f-ing piece of shit. i want to bitch slap him. omg, he is so lucky he doesnt live here.

my dh is making copies of the police report and is going to tape them all over the rig and the locker room. so everyone can know what a liar and a piece of shit that guy is. well, i told him to, dont know if he really will or not.

i cant believe this shit!

[Ang1982 4]

Well... I'm sorry to hear that you and your DH are going through such crazyness. That has got to put a strain on both you and your marriage. I hope it all works out for you but I really do not think that the racist comments in your post were necessary.

Yes this forum thread is meant for ranting and raving so by all means go at it - but as I mentioned before, I do not think that the racist comments are appropriate.

[want_so_bad 0]

i just wanted to say the place i was coming from wasnt a racist place, i was simply stating what the man is. that said, i can see where it looks that and i went back and edited those comments out. my purpose wasnt to insult anyone, i am just very mad and upset about the whole situation.

and i also just wanted to make it clear that i blame my dh for this whole thing. he is an idiot! that stupid guy wouldnt have been able to even do what he did had my stupid dh made better/different choices!

i apologize now if my comments were read before i edited the post and offended anyone.

[Kat817 19]

You say you are headed to trial? Can you not subpeona the original driver to testify? MAKE him perjure himself---then maybe the 3rd guy will be honest. It might not make a difference, but maybe it will freak him out, that it ISN'T over!

Maybe this is the wake up call your DH needed though not to be taking DUI so lightly. Better he serve a short jail stay and know better than to do it again, than hit a kid and kill him in the future. My 16 year old neighbor boy was coming home from a rodeo when 3 men coming in from a few drinks after work crossed the center line, hitting and killing him. The men were not staggering drunk, the driver blew just over the legal limit of .08---they were laughing and arguing over which CD to put in----and he let the car veer off. Unfortunately Ty will never have the chance to make better choices than the grown men did.

Maybe this is the lesser of 2 evils.

I am not dogging your DH---I told my own brother the same thing when he got popped on a DUI.

My brother has been sober for years now----hope it wakes your DH up as to what all he has to lose too.

Kat

[want_so_bad 0]

kat-- yes, going to trial because dh is pleading not guilty. the 3rd guy is a "good" friend of dh's and will testify that they didnt harass the other guy and that the other guy really was driving. its just the one guy that is being like this. dog on my stupid dh all you want. i am!

another reason i am so upset about all of this is because i am so passionate about drinking and driving! seriously. i hate it. and now i am such a freakin hypocrite. i want dh to get off of these charges. i cant make all the payments we have w/out him working. if he goes to jail we are so screwed. that said, i hope he gets jail time, but they will let him do it on his days off. he works a week on and a week off. i told him, what if it wasnt a snowbank you hit, what if it were a mom going home with her kids? or anyone for that matter? he hangs his head and says i know i know. but why the f--k doesnt he get it? the worst part, this isnt his first! its his third. the others were before my time....

he told me, you just dont think of things like that at the time. well you damn well should you stupid f-er! i really really dislike him right now for all this. i am sitting here on the verge of tears thinkin of all the shit he has done with this stupid dui.

every time i have to call the lawyer or one of the other phone calls i have had to make just get me all upset again. today i told him i wanted to smack him and then smack the other guy. he is all, why you mad at me? because we are going through this because of you! no matter what that other f-er did, its still your fault you were in the position to be in this position!

[Ang1982 4]

i just wanted to say the place i was coming from wasnt a racist place, i was simply stating what the man is. that said, i can see where it looks that and i went back and edited those comments out. my purpose wasnt to insult anyone, i am just very mad and upset about the whole situation.

and i also just wanted to make it clear that i blame my dh for this whole thing. he is an idiot! that stupid guy wouldnt have been able to even do what he did had my stupid dh made better/different choices!

i apologize now if my comments were read before i edited the post and offended anyone.

I know you are just upset and rightfully so *big hug*. And far be it from me to be the "posting police" .. i just know we say things that we don't mean when we are upset and can hurt some people that we never intend to which is why I pointed out what I said. You said that what you were saying wasn't coming from a racist place and I believe you - your editting your post shows that but I'd hate from others to get an unfair perception of you because you said something in anger which is why I made a short post about it.

Kat's post made a good point about subpeona'ing the others that may help for sure.

[Kat817 19]

Going to trial and making him lie on the stand or fess up is going to be about all that might make DH's charges lessen I would imagine.

HIS actions do not make YOU a hypocrite unless you go around saying your DH never does this or that. Those are his actions!

I would say go to an Al-Anon meeting, you will find many others who feel just like you. Loving the person, and loving their actions when alcohol is involved are 2 separate issues, and they will give you guidance in ways not to enable him to have the "why you mad at me?" attitude. It will also send a message to your DH-----his alcohol consumption and lying are serious problems, ones you are not taking responsibility for.

I know it takes a lot of energy to be mad. But hang on to that mad, do not let DH convince you to just get over it. You deserve to be treated better---YOU were not out partying with friends while your family was at home....he was.

Kat

[WestCoastFatGuy 3]

kat--dog on my stupid dh all you want. i am!

I cannot tell you how sorry I feel for all your grief. I've been down this lying road before and it's sooo hard when you realize that not only have you been lied to, but you seem to be paying as big or bigger price than the one who actually lied.

The even more difficult thing here is having to presume that your dh is now telling you the truth, even though he didn't before. I'm sure it's gone through your head... "what if the other guy isn't lying?" I mean, you want and need to believe your dh... but the rational side of your brain says, "but can I believe him?"

I genuinely hope he is now telling the truth and that this will end without even more damage to you, the innocent party.

How do you go on with a dh that lies? I honestly don't have the answer. I've almost come to the conclusion that liars don't change... but that's when I'm being cynical. I've lived through this lying thing with someone close to me for so many years that I wouldn't believe him now if his tongue came notarized (as the judge from the People's Court would say).

Your dh has a loooooonnnngggg way to go to try to make this right with you. His pathetic responses to your hard questioning so far have been only to try to garner your sympathy. Congratulations for not falling prey to them.

I hope that he wakes up and realizes what a wonderful wife that you are and that he truly truly f*'d up beyond words.