Calling all April Bandsters!!!!

[Brandy~ 2]

Hello everyone! I thought I'd post and say hello. I'm really really stuggling and have been for a while. I just e-mailed my fill center to see when I can get in - if they have a cancellation. I can eat ANYTHING! and DO! I'm maintaining but I really haven't had a good loss since July - yep JULY!...I keep losing and gaining the same 5-10 pounds over and over again...it's freakin' frustrating.

I am an emotional eater and have been going through a lot at home. I have to stop - I've picked up old behaviors and patterns. I just wanted to say I'm still here and reading the threads...I'm just so angry at myself and feel like a complete failure. What do ya'll do when you hit a brick wall or fall off course?

Hey Leslie! I am glad to see you checking in. I think Carol is right. The best thing that you can do is stick around. Even if you're not posting, lurking is good for the soul on here I think. It keeps you in touch with what others are doing and helps to get back on track. This whole band thing isn't a walk in the park and for others it's harder. Those emotional eating demons do not just instantly dissapear once they stick a band on us... Believe me.

If you ever want to talk about what you're going through I would love to hear from you... as a friend no judgement. Sometimes getting something off your chest helps.

Have you seen a counselor or therapist for the emotional issues going on at home?

I am excited for you that you were able to get in for a fill. How much is in your band right now?

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

Thanks everyone for your support! It means the world to me. I'm at 5.75 in a 10cc band. I'm restarting the 5-Day Pouch test today to shrink my tummy...

Ya'll I went to hell (a.k.a. Chuck-e-cheese) on Saturday. We always do "girls day out" on Saturdays - just me and my daughters. Well they wanted to go there - so I closed my eyes counted to 10, then prayed to God for patience - and said yes. I ate FOUR pieces of Pizza! FOUR! With Ranch Sauce and even had a "gasp" diet coke. Yep I'm an idiot - Yep everyone in their brother can jump all over me about it too! Then I proceeded to eat almost an entire bag of puffed cheetos (and we're not talking the individual bags) with ranch also...What's with the ranch???...anyway...after looking at my cheese encrusted fingers last night I decided I have got to STOP. No matter what is going on between me and DH I am NOT turning back into a glutenous idiot (which is what I'd been doing for the past 4-5 months on and off). I have to find a better outlet - a healthy outlet.

Here's the short version - We've been married for almost 10 years. We have to daughters (6 & 8). Well July 2007 (a year and a half ago) I catch him having an affair. I threw him out, took him back - something died inside of me. I've never been so angry in my life! Well I decided I'll try to make it work so I ignored the affair and we never talked about it. I also addressed issues with myself (of course it is my fault he's sleeping with someone else) and decided to have WLS for ME. I wanted to be happy for me. So I get approved, have the surgery - and have hardly any support from him. Well I have no support from him hardly anyway - I'm almost a single mom with a adult child I have to pickup after and be available to meet his needs. Well back in August I tell him how unhappy I've been and he promises to change. I tell him again in September...trying to talk to him. Well Christmas Eve (yep I have great timing) I told him I want to separate and I need to deal with his affair and how I feel about him. This lights a fire under his butt. He now will not leave me alone - I have a permanent shadow and all the requests I've had over the years - vacations (which he didn't want), working out together (which he wouldn't do), spending time together (which he never did)...he now wants. I'm just so tired of it all. I'm fed up and just feel completely emotionally drained....so I've been eating.

[Brandy~ 2]

Wow Leslie. Don't beat yourself up. Just pick yourself up. Your doing the right thing by just sticking with it and getting back on track... You fall off you get up and keep going. Don't let someones ill behavior affect the rest of your life. The healthier you become the longer you will be there for those girls on Saturdays! I think that like you said pretending that it didn't happen is just going to manifest it's head in ugly ways... IE emotional eating.

Get a friend or get help... Get it off your chest and face the demons. It would be easy for me to say leave him and move on. That's not the right thing for anyone to say... That's something you will have to decide in time. We have to always as mothers put our kids first. I would evaluate how it is affecting them too. You might not be the only one acting out with the emotional eating.

We are all going through things just in different ways. I hope that it all works out in the best way possible for you. Right now if I was you I would take it one day at a time and focus more on yourself and working through the reasons your eating. I think that will lead you to what the problems are in your life right now and might just help you with a resolution.

We are all here to support you!

[tamboclan 3]

Leslie:

I second everything Brandy has just said. We can all sit here and tell you what we would do in your circumstances, but the bottom line is only you can decide that for you. I am a huge advocate of counseling. It has helped me through many a rough spot. As an emotional eater, I have always turned to food. I eat when I am happy, when I am sad, when I am stressed. The band actually is what stopped me from doing it. I just can't. Keep up with your fills. If you are at a good restriction, you CAN'T eat 4 pieces of pizza. I can't even eat 1! And stay away from the soda. Speaking as someone who currently has a streched pouch it's no fun!

Hang in there. We are all here for you any time. But I would definitely find a counselor. To work on yourself and your issues with DH...

[momof5 0]

Tammi-I apologize for my complete idiocy but is the plan you outlined in order to shrink my pouch?

L2L - (((HUGS HUGS & MORE HUGS))) I love you girl and have missed hearing from you. We all had been doing so good together then things seemed to fizzle for all different reasons.

I hate so much that you're going through this time in your life but in all this, you've proven to yourself that you're worth fighting for and that's why you have been so successful with this. We're all here for you!

I'm exactly where you are with the eating. The scales are stagnant. I got so depressed when the band was let out but in the past few months, things have been really difficult. With the economy, we are struggling. My hubby is in the mortgage industry, which everyone knows has taken a complete nose dive and I've tried to find work but in a small town, there's nothing. I feel like a failure not being able to help out financially.

So, around Thanksgiving, I fell back into stress eating and things got worse and worse. I can eat pretty much anything and pretty much have. But Thurs, I am getting filled to the brim!

I agree with the idea of you talking to a specialist. I went today and he helped alot. He said that since I have depression, when I stress even the least little bit, the depression worsens and the old habits come back no matter what! That was eye opening because it showed me that I can change the cycle.

I do hope that you'll talk to someone who can help you through this time and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. And please keep posting! Talking things out helps and like I said, I've missed hearing from you! Good luck with your next fill!

[Brandy~ 2]

Mom I am so glad to see that you're getting help and you see the light at the end of the tunnel! Thats all we can do is keep moving forward. I am so proud of our avengers that hang in there and support one another.

[Bea1128 1]

Leslie - I'm so sorry to hear about your issues at home. I agree with everyone else that I can not tell you what to do. Of course my first reaction was to tell you to "kick his ass to the curb", but of course that is not good advice. You have children to think about first of all and besides he has to have some good qualities because you wouldn't have married him if he didn't. I will pray that you are able to take care of yourself the way you need to and of course those little girls. You really do have to think of yourself first in this situation because if you don't take care of your girls' mother, you can't take care of them. I will say, and I hope you don't mind, but your DH is a huge ass!! However, we all make mistakes and even though his one that you might not ever get over, you have to do what is right for you. I can't tell you I know how you feel, because I don't. I can only imagine. I've always said adultry was a "deal breaker", but now that I have kids I don't know. The good news is that the situation is in your hands, IMHO. When he cheated, he gave up his right to any control over how you feel or how long you need to grieve and get over it or deal with it, if you ever can- again, just my opinion. If he loves you and wants to make it right, he'll understand that and let you run the show. I also agree that you should probably talk to someone just to help you sort out how you really feel about the whole situation - what he did, reconciliation and what that means, etc. My heart goes out to you. My advice to you now - Reclaim your power and use it! And I'm not talking about your DH, I'm talking about you doing what you need to do to not only feel better about yourself, but to get back on track. We all hit walls, but we have to pull ourselves back out again. You can do it!! I know you can! You are a beautiful, smart, sassy woman who knows what she needs to do. Go ahead and do it, others be damned!! Good luck to you and please don't leave this site. I agree that it is a great place to feel a connection and a sense of belonging since everyone knows what you are going through with respect to your band. Have a great day!!

P.S. I'm on the 5 day pouch test, starting today. I've been catching myself eating not only crap, but stress eating again. I feel out of control at the moment, so that is my first step in getting it back and then we'll see if I need a fill.

[Bea1128 1]

Mom - I'm sorry to hear of your troubles as well. It's really scary out there right now. I will certainly keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope your fill is successful and will help you get back on track as well. I'm also glad you are talking to someone.

I don't know about you, but exercise is a great stress reliever for me. Of course, I need to listen to my own advice about that. I haven't run or anything since starting nursing school. I feel like if I'm not studying, I'm getting behind. The course load is so heavy. I just need to relax and do the necessary things that are healthy for me like exercise. Need to also practice what I preach! LOL!

Today we're home because of the icy conditions, so it's a good day for me to start. Good luck to you and hope to hear from you again soon!

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

I started the Pouch Test yesterday. Today is second day on liquids and it isn't too bad.

Oh and if anyone wants to inform Applebees in Albany this it would be greatly appreciated: YOU CANNOT EAT Tomato Soup WITH A FORK!!!!!!

[Turler 6]

***heavy sigh***

So I've had the wierdest day. A few victories I'd like to share:

1) Hit my 75 pounds lost this morning (woo hoo!)

2) Found out I weigh less than DH (woo hoo!)

3) Went to hospital and they put the "normal" gown on me (woo hoo!)

4) At same hospital, they used "normal" BP cuff (woo hoo!)

So WHY? did you need to go to the hospital you ask? Well let me tell you: Friday night go to bed...wake up shortly after midnight with abdominal pain/chest pain/back pain. Stayed up all night moaning, trying to relieve pain. No eating or drinking due to pain. Any attempts ends up in the toilet. Pain came/went in waves, didn't go to ER thought maybe a virus? Sunday, same thing. Can't keep anything down. Not sleeping. Monday, same thing...every attempt to eat ends with pain and ultimately vomiting. DH complains of stomach cramps, so I become convinced it's viral. Tuesday, same thing. Am miserable, tired and very hungry and thirsty. Everyone at school tells me how bad I look, what's wrong, etc. Call doctor friend at home and explain situation last night (keep in mind, my Bariatric surgeon left town--I'm an abandoned patient). He says...come in AM, get EGD and we'll go from there (I just had one a few days before Christmas and everything looked great!). So this am, I find out there is damage to my pouch. Stretch? Slip? Not sure, but definitely something is wrong with a real big esophageal ulcer to top it off. GREAT. Ended up in CT scan. Waiting for word as to what to do next. Probably an unfill, potentially surgery. I still don't have a bariatric surgeon, so my general surgeon is doing some leg work for me to figure out what to do next.

I'm so bummed. I follow all the rules. I honestly don't know what happened. I live on soup!!!! How did this happen? I'm so darn hungry and thirsty...haven't had a darn thing since Friday at dinner.

Sorry it's so long. Trying to highlight the good parts of my day!

~C

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

OMG Carol!!!! (((((((((hugs))))))))))))) I will pray that everything will workout for you! Holy crap...I'm sure it will all be okay :-)

[Brandy~ 2]

I started the Pouch Test yesterday. Today is second day on liquids and it isn't too bad.

Oh and if anyone wants to inform Applebees in Albany this it would be greatly appreciated: YOU CANNOT EAT Tomato Soup WITH A FORK!!!!!!

Thanks for totally cracking me up... I will be sure to tell them that...

we should start kicking it into gear so we can go on a cruise and wear bikinis!

[Brandy~ 2]

Oh no Carol I am so sorry :cursing: Lets hope it's something they can resolve quickly and with minimal effort and stress on your part.

[Turler 6]

Update:

Band has slipped for sure. Will have an Upper GI series tomorrow morning. Apparently this will give the doctors a clearer picture of the specific direction of the slip. It should be flat, so if a circle is seen, it will have to be surgically repaired. My doctor called a surgeon in another town close by. This doctor said my choices are: 1) MOVE band back into position 2) REMOVE band

This sucks. Will let you know when I can what will happen next. They are letting me attempt to rehydrate myself at home as long as I can keep the fluids down, otherwise I have to be admitted for hydration tonight.

I don't wanna lose my band!!!!

[Bea1128 1]

Oh Carol, I'm so sorry! You will be in my thoughts and prayers for sure. What about the ulceration? Will that heal on it's own if the band is replaced in the proper position? My doc said that the majority of the time they can't pinpoint the reason for a slip, it just happens sometimes. Please keep us posted.