Who's in charge?!

[Crazy4MyK9 0]

The more I read posts on this site, the more I see that patient results are all over the map. In the end, your actions will determine your results. Your level of activity and your self-discipline / self-control will seal your fate. It's a lot of work, no doubt about it.

I sometimes feel disappointed or dumbfounded when I see a post such as this - one bandster was consoling another bandster by saying, 'it's ok if you haven't lost any weight because I had my surgery 8 months ago and haven't lost ANY weight.' This is NOT good advice. That individual clearly has issues.

My former therapist once gave me some advice that I will never forget. Now, I don't remember his exact words, which were quite eloquent, but this was basically what he told me. We are made up of three persons - our inner child, our adolescent, and our adult. In any given situation, you can ask yourself, "Who's in charge?" I'm finding that sometimes I'll use his advice when I have to choose between something like a cookie or a sugar-free Jello cup. If I choose the cookie, I know my adolescent is in charge. If I choose the Jello than I know my adult is in control.

For what it's worth, I hope my post will reach someone who needs it. We put our bodies through the lap-band surgery process, and it's a shame to see folks still eating whatever they damn well please. (I don't mean to sound like a bitch there. I'm really a very nice person.)

Who's in charge today for you?

[steph_co 9]

This is a good post and the "Who's in charge?" really is something to consider. I did have to chuckle, though. When I first read that, it reminded me of that line in "Night at the Museum" when Robin Williams asked Ben Stiller, "Who's evolved?" LOL

But I do agree with you. I think it does come down to being an adult. I am also dumbfounded at people that eat whatever the heck they want and then make posts about why they aren't losing weight. It's becoming a little difficult to not repeat the line in Jachut's signature. :rolleyes2:

[Kristin1031 0]

I totally agree and think your post get right to the heart of the matter. WLS is hard work...it is not an easy fix.....and it dumfounds me when people post oh I am eating hamburgers and am not loisng weight.

Or I can eat a 2 cups of food.......when your pouch was created to hold no more than 4 ounces (and this is the maintenance phase.) Perhaps they can, but why would you want too.......knowing that all you are doing is stretching out a pouch that is designed to be small.

I do believe alot of the band success is found in our will and desire......hence why we go through psych evals before surgery. To find out any underlying problems before we have the surgery. You have to WANT to do this, you have to WANT to choose Healthy over JUNK food you have to be able to LISTEN to your body and disregard your head......Dont' get me wrong....not saying this is all easy by any means.....this is HARD WORK.

Most of the time for me, my adult is in charge......at least so far in my band journey that is!!

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

Man girl, I think you read my mind! I agree 100% with you. People except this to be a quick fix. News flash---we didn't get fat overnight!! I think too many go into this thinking it will all be perfect overnight without any work. Not the case.

And alot of people give out bad, stupid, and plain dangerous advice here, that is my pet peeve!

[Cindi 0]

Your post hit the spot - dead on. It expresses what I know to be true, but don't aways follow "in the moment". Thanks for re-iterating a truth, which will become a new voice in my head, asking me, "who's in charge"?

[Daisalana 33]

My adolescent self is very obnoxious, I have to shut her up with cake sometimes

Very good points.

[Apples2 19]

My adolescent self is very obnoxious, I have to shut her up with cake sometimes

Very good points.

Fairy....you just kill me with some of your comments. You are sooooo cool!

[Crazy4MyK9 0]

Hi All,

Thanks so much for your responses. Now I'm really glad I started this thread. I thought of it a couple of days ago, and something just kept telling me to do it.

I'm still working towards that 4 ounces. I'm closer to 8 ounces, which is a big improvement over where I was. I'm currently at 8 cc. When I see my doc in early April, I have a feeling that I may need another .5 or 1 cc. We'll see what he says.

I have to say WELL DONE on everyone's successes in this thread. I know I'm doing well, but I'm inspired to try harder. I've been looking for something to add to my exercise bike, so I bought the Reebok Step. It just arrived on Wednesday, and I'm going to take it out of the box tonight. I really think I'm going to like it. Not knowing that it was coming with a DVD, I bought a DVD, so now I have two!

NSV - I'm proud to say that I've been without soda for 5 months effective March 2nd. Woo-hoo!!!! :hurray::confused:

Anne

[Crazy4MyK9 0]

I'm embarrassed to say that I don't know what GOB stands for.:confused:

Please enlighten me.

[Daisalana 33]

gob..is...mouth?

[Crazy4MyK9 0]

D'oh! That could be.

I'm not used to hearing that term here in Baltimore. I was thinking that GOB was an acronym for something. LOL

[Daisalana 33]

Since she didn't post here, I can't remember.. but I think it's reference to not putting stuff in your gob and moving your ass.. and in that instance gob would be your mouth teehee.

[shortgal 5]

Apparently, we were mostly our "inner child" before getting banded, so the thing that is helping us to be more "adult" is our band.

I agree that too many people eat bad things and then wonder why they are gaining weight or not losing. HOWEVER, I have hit a few plateaus without ever being "bad". Yes, I get over them by staying on plan.

I also think there are some crummy over conservative Dr's that make patients wait months to get a fill that they obviously need. I mean the band cant work if it's not adjusted to the person's needs. That's how it works. I know a few people dont need fills, but the majority of people do.

There are people that say they've had two fills and they've been banded six months! I've been banded three months and have had six fills. True, the amount at each fill could be different, but if they can eat too much and aren't filled right for them, then how can we blame them for overeating occassionally? If willpower was our strong suit we wouldn't need the band.

I also think we overrate big weight loses that were acheived by overly restricted people. There seems to be a rationale by some that only being able to drink liquids, months after banding is a good thing as long as big weight loss happens.

The band was not meant to work this way. The goal should be healthy weight loss not weight loss by starvation.

Yes, we need to be adults in all aspects of working WITH our bands and very occasionally we can let our inner child out for a treat.

[Kat817 19]

That's how I took Gob as well, to mean a mouth. In my part of the woods, Gob....just means lots of something...like there were gobs of kids on Halloween. Since that doesn't fit....mouth made sense!

At least that is what my inner adult thinks....my inner child will not quit :confused:.

Good post Crazy4myK9!!!!

Kat

[gkeyt 0]

This is an excellent post! Thanks for sharing this. It helps to stop and think before making that impulsive decision.

Yes, Jachut's sig is Shut yer Gob and Move Yer A$$, and that's a great motto. WLS is a lot of work, especially banding. So much depends on what WE do and the choices we make every day.

That said, one of the things I have worked on over the last year is trying not to think of eating "bad things" as that--food is just food, not good or bad. Our choices are good or bad, but I do have treats and I don't consider them "bad" or cheating. Life is about moderation, people who don't have weight problems know this. They don't eat a whole package of Oreo's in a day (like I might have before I was banded)...they eat 2 and are done. I steer clear of things that I am afraid will trigger past behaviors, but mostly I try to learn moderation and the concept of the "occasional" treat (not daily, or not with each meal). I might have lost weight more quickly if I had never had an occasional treat. Or I might have gone completely off the wagon and lost less weight than I have. Who knows? This way of living works for me, and supports my weight loss.

Thanks for the insightful post. There will always be the people who expect the band to be "Magic" and to turn them into Beautiful Butterflies without any effort on their parts. Then there will also be the people who "get it." You clearly "get it". :eek: