March Bandsters: MASTER THREAD

[sharona 2]

I was trying to reflect what is different now than a few months ago other than the time that has passed... I was doing so good. My old habits are back and out of control. What is in my way now I feel is:

****:cursing:Husband layed off and home way to much!!! He has no weight problem and eats anything and everything!!

****:cursing:Money is tight right now

****:cursing:Out of my routine of exercise and food planning

****:cursing:Spread myself too thin with working full time, training someone all summer (only have 1 more week), extra committees and meetings and special projects, redecorating and cleaning the house (Spring cleaning that I didn't do because of having the lapband and wanting to concentrate on a routine for myself.

:rolleyes2:So now that I've made a list, I guess I need to adjust the things I do have control over.... I need to put myself back on the top of the list!!!! Effective immediately!!!!!

I can't fix money or the layoff, but I can take back the time I need to take care of myself like I should!!!

I too have had a history or over doing it and be:sad:ing involved with too much. I made a decision after getting the band to remove myself from all boards and committees and declared my life "all about me"...although our new grandson born 8/31 is changing that a bit. Don't feel guilty just cut yourself down to the minimum of what is important to YOU....things happen for a reason I truly believe it....

[Desdemona 48]

Tess---OH YES!!!! I have been there too re: not being able to change a darn thing that's going on in my environment. What a feeling! It's like sucking pond Water. --- That's exactly what got me started on getting the band in the first place. I felt so darn helpless and unhappy. After making a list --- I just figured that there wasn't much I was going to be able to do about a bunch of things because they were out of my control. But I saw that 1 of the FEW things I actually could do something about -- was to grab the bull by the horns and lose weight. I decided that since I couldn't "control" anyone or anything else --- I'd just try focusing on me for a change. Now that I'm thinking about this --- I'm realizing that I need to get right back to that place of remember just how much I was hurting (physically, mentally, emotionally). I sure don't want to go back there---again.

[Tess415 1]

I had a really good day. I stuck to my food plan and worked out at the gym. Most of the things I listed that are in my way will be over with in 2 weeks. I just need to let it go!! I have my Breakfast and lunch packed for work tomorrow, I always do better when I plan.

Also, today was a meeting with my life coach, we talked about many of the things I had on my list. Actually she was impressed that I made a list, and looked at it that way. She was really a good pair of ears to listen and reflect on what my goals really are. The one thing she stressed is that no one is perfect, and I can't drag the bad choices along with me. They are done and over, otherwise it just feeds a vicious cycle of guilt and shame and self defeating.

You are right Penny, I don't want to go back to all of the pain!!! Only moving forward, even if it takes a little longer than I would like it to!!

I would love for us shamrocks to all be in a really good place emotionally and physically for our 6 month bandiversary. Is there a way we could all add up how much our group has lost so far??? I think that would be an awesome way to sum up 6 months!!!!

[SpecialK 22]

Good idea Tess to remind each of us how far we've come. I started us out on the existing thread.... go over there and add your celebration stats on!

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f114/weight-loss-date-65520/index3.html

[ajoneen 0]

Im in.

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f114/weig...20/index3.html

I posted my loss from my surgery date. My ticker is set from my consult date of 11/20/07. I lost quiet a bit in those first 3 months. That pre-op diet was a B*tch!! (maybe I should do it again??)

Edited September 4, 2008 by ajoneen

[mscathyl 0]

The last 2 days have been really bad for me . My BIL was rushed from rehab to the hospital Tue . His kinneys failed , blood clots in both legs ,dehydration, was very weak and had a hard time breathing . A friend for his called me to tell me what happened said she thought it might have been the pizza that I had giving to my BIL on Saturday . WHAT the hell . I never heard of pizza shutting down your kinneys or causing blood clots .But since I don't have a medical degree (neither does she) I call his Dr. and was told that he has an infection some where in his body that was causing the trouble NOT the pizza . That BITCH just wanted to blame me for him getting sick . This is the second time she tried to cause a problem between my BLI and me . I hate her and I hate the fact that my BIL doesn't stick up for me . He knew what she was saying wasn't right . My BIL is all I have left of my sister . I wouldn't do anything to hurt him.

[ajoneen 0]

Wow mscathyl you sound very hurt by what has happened. Im so sorry. You have been through quiet a bit with your BIL and it doesn't look like it will be ending soon.

Your BIL is in a tough place too. Being very sick and trying to keep the peace between his past and present.

My advice is to let this current thing with the pizza slide. Folks misspeak when in an emotional state. That goes for all sides. If you need to "pop your cork" come here and let off the steam first.

I hope your BIL gets past this setback soon.

I hope you don't let this be a setback for you. Keep strong.

[westcoastmom 3]

mscathyl - I am sorry for your difficult times. Amanda has great advice about trying to keep yourself "out" of these struggles.

I often try to think about just being as respectful as I can. You can really catch some people off guard if you don't engage them when they want to struggle. A lot of people who are always looking for arguments or to blame really only know how to work in that type of environment. If you don't "play", they really can't either.

Sometimes if I feel like I need to address it, I might say "I am sorry if I have done something to make you feel angry or uncomfortable".

Your BIL might just have a hard time feeling like he wants to keep everyone happy. It is a hard thing to have to choose among people you care about. He will probably appreciate you even more, the more understanding you are. Sometimes I just think about "what am I going to do" about a problem and not "what am I going to get someone else to do".

I hope things get better!

[mscathyl 0]

I'm trying very hard to be nice . After I heard that she was trying to blame me I called the Dr. and asked her about it before I returned her call . I told her I called the Dr. and asked about the pizza and what the Dr. said . She acted as if I didn't say anything . I don't want you to get the wrong idea she's not my BIL new girlfriend she's a married woman. Both her and her husband are friends with my BIL . although I don't know how a man can stand there and watch his wife fall all over another man the way she does . At first I thought it was just me thinking that but my friend was with me and she pulled me to the side and pointed it out .

[lbs2go 0]

hi everyone i haven't been here in awhile. like some of you i am at the wall, and debating if i should get another fill. I seem to want to eat all the time. I feel bettert knowing that i am not alone in this matter

[Desdemona 48]

Sharon--ya. it's hard to know how we are SUPPOSE to feel. What is the "sweet spot.?" I hear it described but that still doesn't work well for me. My MD asked me if I find that it is a little difficult to swallow steak. I think that means he thinks --that this would be the right adjustment. But my answer to that is--it depends. There are times I can swallow steak easily. Other times I have a hard time. It seems like it depends what time of day -- how much stress I'm feelings---how fast I tried to eat it. Other people say--you should feel full for 4 hours or so. Well---sometimes I am and sometimes I'm not. Some people say a fill helps with craving. For me --sometimes I think it does and sometimes I think it doesn't. But I do think I'm fairly close. I have had an overfill. It's NOT fun. The MD had to take 3cc out and let my stomach rest for a whole month before giving me a fill. During that 1 mo I didn't lose any weight (even though I was very careful with eating). It is also upsetting (and a potential band slip) if we are overfilled. I think I could use a little more but I'm just going to hold on at least until mid Oct. I do seem to be losing again and I think I'll just go with that. Anyone else got any reflections on how to tell when we are at the "sweet spot?"

[SpecialK 22]

To fill or not to fill -- good question. I think I'm going to ask for a small fill when I see my doctor Tuesday a.m. That would be my 4th fill and the reason I'm asking for it is I definitely can eat about anything (steak, 1/2 a bagel) as long as I eat it slow, small bites. I am controlled on the volume I eat - that part surprises me still because I was always a volume eater, but I'm not staying full long enough and I'm definitely following band rules about not drinking to wash the food down and out of my stomach pouch. We'll see what he says but I'm just trying whatever I can each day to hang in here. Thanks for sharing your experiences on this.

[Desdemona 48]

So Sharon and Special K----

How much do you have in your band now? What size band do you have? I have a 10cc band and I had 1cc put in about 2 weeks ago. That brings it to a total of 4cc. I know that everyone needs a different amount but I'm wondering if we can at least see if there is a "ball park" figure among us. I'm also wondering if I (we) can find some kinds of pattern of how long a fill is good for. In other words----how many lbs of weight loss can I expect to get on a 1 cc increase.

[scrappy_friend 0]

I have 6.5 cc in a 10 cc band and I think I could use just a little bit more. I'm eating about a cup of food at at time sometimes even more. I stay full for around 3 -3.5 hours. I eat 4 times a day.

[Desdemona 48]

Scrappy --- you are doing just fabulous!!!! How long has it been since your last fill? I know that we need more after we have lost a certain amount of fat around our stomachs.

mscathyl---How are you doing? Are you feeling a little better? Are you sleeping OK?