March Bandsters: MASTER THREAD

[ajoneen 0]

I saw the Dr today. I'm up 4lbs from seeing him 11/20. He didn't seem to concerned. I received a small fill.( I have 2.5 in my 4cc band) I hope that curbs the hungrys.

Sometimes I wish I had someone who would get mad and hold me accountable for my mis-choices. "Yo stupid what are you doing? You want to be fat the rest of your life? You know what to do so do it!!!"

[HarleyGirl 1]

Well....I just ordered my Wii Fit.....so we shall see what that does for me!!!

Amazon dinged me that they were in stock, so I grabbed one...can't believe this far down the road they are still so hard to find!

[mom007 0]

Hi ya'll, I haven't been on in a LONG time (again) but got a little caught up on everyone reading the last few pages of posts.

Scrappy, I have to tell you when I saw your pic my first thought was HOLY $#!+! you look AMAZING! I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with those last few pounds. you truly are an inspiration though!

As of yesterday, i officially hit 90 pounds down which put me in ONEDERLAND finally! WooHoo! I honestly can't remember the last time i weighed less than 200 pounds!

Harley, I was reading about your "newfound re-romance" with your hubby which is great, but I am going through the exact opposite with my DH. Am I the only one? It seems that the more I lose, the less he wants to do with me. It's very frustrating when I get attention all the time from other men but not my own husband. Hell, I've even switched to thongs and sexy lingere which hasn't even worked. I know he's still struggling with his band (he was banded in Sept and still doesn't have good restriction, but we've all been there. It takes a while and I keep telling him that) But as for our relationship seemingly going down the drain, I'm at a loss!?!?!?

Any input would be greatly appreciated. I just can't figure it out. :cursing: Thanks!

[SpecialK 22]

Someone asked about a Spinning class and yes I did try it once before... It was a little too much for me with my size but one thing my friend who invited me to go didn't tell me -- they make special padded bicycle shorts padded on your tailbone area because otherwise when you get off that bike, you are walking like you rode a horse about 100 miles. I did get a gel seat cushion for my regular bike and it just has a drawstring to help secure it on top of the regular seat and I've been told to try that this time (yes I am going to try it again) instead of buying the bike shorts while I'm losing. I've been told once your down where you want to me, the shorts are a good investment.

Good luck and start slow. I doubt I will make it through a whole hour class (about 50 minutes).

[Fenton 3]

Robin, FANTASTIC on the weight loss! You've done a really great job - time to update your signature stats!

And I'm sorry that stuff with your man isn't as easy as you might have hoped.

Relationship stuff is hard - there are so many different factors that go into making something feel good or bad at any given moment. Are you SURE that he's not being as loving as he was? Could it just be that you're disappointed that he hasn't become MORE loving as you've lost weight? Could it be that he's feeling competitive with you, and feeling like he's losing because you've done well while he has struggled?

I think the whole weight loss thing is a tricky business. We got overweight for a reason - obvs because we ate too much, but we ate too much for a reason, and we ignored our weight gain for a reason, and we probably found some benefits from being at our high weights. The thing is, when the weight goes, the reasons we got that way in the first piece don't really disappear along with the weight, and we're left a bit dazed and confused at some level.

This isn't to say losing weight isn't a great and exhilarating hting, just that it's... complicated. So you lose weight, and perhaps your drives come back more vigorous than they were before, and your husband, struggling with his weight still, hasn't caught up to you at that level. Perhaps your husband is worried you'll lose weight and leave him for someone cuter. Perhaps he feels judged by you, judged as a failure because you've lost and he hasn't. Perhaps he's frustrated by his lack of loss right now, and blames you for putting him through an ordeal which hasn't yet yielded any results for him.

And then there are all the reasons why all couples sometimes have difficulties - money worries, work stress, exhaustion etc etc.

There are so many things it could be - assuming it's even a real change, rather than something you're imagining - but I think the first step in dealing with all of them is to open up a dialogue.

Which will probably be hard to do, at least at first. Most guys don't like to talk about their feelings, and if you make him feel pressured, imply that he's not performing, he'll likely clam up.

You know him best, know how to talk to him, know how to get him to relax before you introduce your concerns, know how to keep him comfortable and get him to talk. I think that has to be your first step - if he's not giving you the love you need, he'll likely become defensive, so just encourage him to talk, remind him how you care etc etc.

It's always a tricky conversation to have - such a sensitive topic! But you know him and love him, and I'm sure you can find a way to make it OK for him...

Good luck!

[Tess415 1]

Robin-congratulations... you are doing fantastic!!! Way to get to onderland!!!!!

I am on the verge of menopause... it keeps on looking more and more scary:)

I just have to tell you guys that tomorrow is my fill day and as if it hasn't snowed enough...we are supposed to get up to 3 inches and blizzard like conditions due to high winds! UGHHHH!!!! I don't care if I need to hijack a dogsled... I need to get there!!!! I have been waiting weeks!!!!!!!

:cryin::cursing::cryin::cryin::cool2::cryin::tt2::cryin:

[ajoneen 0]

Tess I keep thinking about you. First the floods this summer now the snow. Is it always like this?

[lynnt1215 1]

Life goes on. Relationships are hard. I am so hesitant to begin any relationships, because of my "naked" body. Terrible thing to think of up front, but I am so self-conscious about the sags..Am I being petty..

And I hate to bring up the surgery, weight loss issue in a beginning relationship..

So now that I am in a new ralationsship, lots to deal with.

Stalled in my weight loss, no gain either, so that is good. Going to the gym.. I gave myself a pass last week.. I was dealing with a sick dog, who unfortunately we had to put her to sleep on Sqaturday. Now my other little guy is whining and going around the house looking for his pal..

congratulations to all on the weight loss. tonight is a support meeting for post op, even though I am almost 10 months post op, think I need a bit of a boost..

[HarleyGirl 1]

I'm sorry to hear about your doggy, Lynn. I am a totally devoted dog mom, it makes me teary to even think about 'that time'.

I don't envy you being in a new relationship.....but I would say work on yourself first. In time, the rest of it will follow if it's meant to be.

we've been married almost 23 years, so we're at a very comfortable stage.....we can even joke about the sags and bags....and still love each other....

[Fenton 3]

The new relationship is hard - the whole weight loss process is SO difficult for a new partner to deal with. How can they be encouraging without nagging or hurting? How can they understand what it's like to be like this?

I feel really lucky to have the person who has me now. She's been really great, really supportive. She's clearly thinking for the long term. It still amazes me that she can find me attractive - and it's completely clear that she does.

I'm sorry about your pup, Lynn. The loss of a pet is a HUGE deal - be careful with your behaviours now! Good idea to go to a meeting tonight...

[Tess415 1]

Lynn, so sorry to hear about the loss of your pet... it is rough to go thru. I know what you mean about the sags... I can't imagine how had it must be to start a new relationship, but I don't think anyone of us would judge a potential life partner based on looks and if their skin is tight. Give them a chance to see the "real you". So many of us have spent our lives being judged, and we know what it feels like. I would wonder though, since your weightloss do you feel more vulnerable??? Meaning, if it doesn't work out, he doesn't like you? Where before you could blame the weight was the put off??? I myself am feeling more and more vulnerable and feel like I am losing some of my protective layers. I am always efficient at using everything to its maximum benefit, and my fat is something I have gotten used to using!!!!!

I am sure the real you is very worth knowing:) Just roll with it, and see how it goes!!!

[Tess415 1]

Tess I keep thinking about you. First the floods this summer now the snow. Is it always like this?

Pardon my french... but this past year the weather has sucked!!!! I have never had this many issues with the weather "getting in my way"!!

AHHHHH! Got my fill:) I am down 2 pounds from the week before Thanksgiving!!!! Who would've thought?!?!?!? He put 2cc's in I think now I have a total of 8cc in the band. Now, I am ready to kick ass on the scale!!!!

[BrandNewLisa 0]

Hey everyone! I have been gone for a few months, but I think of you guys everyday. I am glad to see that everyone is doing so well. I see struggles here and there, but you are overcoming them. Your courage is exactly what I need to see right now, I am so glad that I am back.

I have not been off the food wagon so much as off the exercise wagon. I have one of those jobs that can steal your life, but I love it. Unfortunately, that leaves little time for me (ha, surprise surprise). I am still losing, but very slowly. I am 70 pounds down, and it has changed my life. I feel and look like a totally different person. Yet, I am still disappointed. I just knew that I was going to be the model Lap Band patient, eating all of the right things, exercising daily, and I fully expected to be down 100 pounds by now. Had I excercised like I was supposed to, I would have been. Oh well, I am going to let the past be the past, and start fresh for 2009. I want to start that by reminding myself that what I have done already is huge, and the future holds nothing but more positive change.

Things that I am thankful for:

1. I finally got braces! At 34, I have wanted them my whole life, but could never afford them. I have always been so self conscious about my teeth, I have severe crowding in the front. Time to release another ghost!

2. I am wearing a size 18 pants, and I started this journey at a size 28.

3. I am wearing heels for the first time in years. My knees and ankles would never support the weight. By the way, heels make me feel hot!

4. I sat in a lawn chair a few weeks ago on a rare warm day, and stood up without it suctioned to my butt. Huge!

5. My diabetes meds have been cut in half, and my doc expects that it will self resolve within the next 50 pounds. Down with needles!

6. This may be tmi, but in the shower, I find that I can easily reach every area of myself, without acting like a circus performer. It is amazing!

5. I am being seen. I have worked at the same location for a year and a half, and people that I see everyday are all of the sudden making conversation with me. Speaking to me. Seeing ME.

6. Even tho I am down only 70 pounds since surgery, I am almost 100 pounds down from my highest weight. I did a self imposed liquid diet prior to surgery, just to make sure that my liver was okay. I was paranoid that they would open me up and change their mind. I topped out at 352, and had surgery at 326. I need to remember and Celebrate this, every day!

Okay, I am sure that there is much more, but I wanted to just say hi to everyone, and to remind myself why I started this journey in the first place. I want to be healthy, happy, and needle free. Thank you for letting me vent!!!!!

Edited January 14, 2009 by BrandNewLisa

[SpecialK 22]

Lisa, great to hear from you on your successes. Yes, braces are wonderful as an adult - my sister got them at about 30 or so to correct a problem she'd had since a child with prominent front teeth and our parents could never afford braces so I just hope you will SMILE SMILE SMILE each and every day! You have so much to Celebrate with your 70+ lbs you've already lost.

Congrats on those great NSVs -- I can totally see you in the hot new heels since I have met you in person..Strut your self - be proud.

On the relationship front, yep, I've been hiding under a rock for most of my overweight adult life so its so hard picturing myself as someone a new person in my life will accept with "bags and sags" as you all say but I do hope I can find someone still who will see me for the real me and look long term on how healthy I'm working to be. I met a younger guy through a local lapband support group and I emailed him a few times and exchanged a phone # but he hasn't figured it out...maybe I'm totally terrible at this flirting thing or maybe he's figured out I'm too old, or whatever. I'm moving on and if he calls we'll see. Don't be thinking I'm sitting at home waiting for him. I'm out there living life! And for our dear Fenton, yes, he is a big guy and I'm also looking long term that he is losing for the future so I see that as sexy and attractive at his current size. :-)

[lynnt1215 1]

Tess - thanks for the relationship encouragement. I always say if something does not work out the other person doesn't know what he is missing LOL

So fat I am enjoying my new found friend. We talk alot, share alot of common interests and just have a great time together. What more can I ask for. Take it day by day.

Thank you to all about the thought of the passing of my dog. The other one at home is so lonely, whiining and wimpering so much. Extra attention and treats for him!!!