Re-intro and a long ramble

Hunzi · February 27, 2008

Warning this is a bit rambly.

Wow. My insurer just announced they are finally covering the band. I have researched and tried to get it for the past 8 years, but gave up hope after being denied twice. So for the past year or two, I've just been drifting along, not overly paying attention to new info on the band, or thinking much about what life would be like being banded.

So, now that I have the opportunity, I need to decide if this is still the best option for me (yes!), and if the timing is right (I hope so! I've been praying for a while that the Lord would help me to reach a healthy weight and live a healthy lifestyle, so I would like to believe this is the answer to those prayers), and remember everything that I've forgotten (like everything about being banded, how to deal with food)

Here are the things that have popped into my head since yesterday when I heard I had a chance to get the band.

Timing - I'm just making a breakthrough with my Mary Kay business, doing everything right, taking it seriously, moving towards a leadership role, so I'm a little worried that having to devote a lot of energy towards get surgery, and dealing with any challenges will distract me from my goals.

Some little stuff -

Vitamins - I've been taking a fairly good amount of vitamins/supplements each day. I take a multi-Vitamin, 2 flax oil capsills, 2 osteo-flex caps, 2 Vitamin D pills, a chewable vit C, a baby asprin, 2 Calcium chews, a green tea cap, a zinc, and 2 magnesium tablets. Yeah I know it seems like a lot, but it really does make me feel better when I take them. But I take them all at once, usually with a big glass of Water. I was taking them today and realized this was probably a habit I'd need to change/adjust after getting the band. I could probably take the smaller pills (D, Mag, Zinc, baby asprin, BCP) with just a couple of sips of Water, but I doubt I'd be able to take those bigger horse pill types with out gulping down water....

So my question would be, what do you take vitamin/nutritional supplement wise? and how do you take them?

On the fitness front, I've been walking regularly on my treadmill since January. I just started walking for 30 minutes on my treadmill at whatever pace I could manage. At first I was only walking about 0.7 or 0.8 miles. I've been fairly consistant about exercising 3-4 times a week, and I'm now up to 1.5 miles in about 40 minutes. My goal is to add a quarter mile a week until I'm walking 3 miles and then get the time under 45 minutes. Then maybe I'll add in 1 more mile, and shoot for an hour. I've always wanted to be as fit as possible before I had the surgery in the hopes it would help my recovery.

Back 3-4 years or so ago, when I was trying to get banded the first time, I tried out a bunch of Protein drinks, and found several I liked. I wouldn't have any problem having one or two a day.

I know Protein is a big issue, but I have always worried that I wouldn't eat a balanced enough diet if I had to focus so much on protein....how do I get enough Fiber? I really like veggies, salads, and granolas! In fact, I enjoy having a bowl of vanilla yogurt and granola (BareNaked brand fruit and Nuts with extra dried fruits mixed in - whatever I have around - cranberries, dried cherries, raisens, apicots, you get the picture!) for Breakfast a few times a week. And if I have any, I'll top the bowl with fresh raspberries. I think I'd miss having that bowl of crunchy, chewy delishousness! Does anyone here eat something like granola for Breakfast? I don't have a problem with reducing the portion, but worry I'd have to give it up entirely.

I'm a little worried about how well my family is going to support me on this. DH and DD14 will go along with me (DS19 is off to college so not really a concern), but they may whine a lot about the changes in dinners etc - I do all the shopping and cooking, and I know they aren't ready to give up a lot of the "goodies" that make losing weight harder. And I'm the primary cook in the family - and tend to cook large amounts - so not only will I need to rethink WHAT I'm serving, but how much I'm making since there will technically be one less adult at the dinner table. I guess that means my foodsaver will get more of a workout and I'll just put things in the freezer for other meals.

Mental Health/Head Games (Deep thoughts alert!) .

I've always been overweight, from maybe 20--25lbs over when a young girl, being around 170ish in high school, picked up around 40-50lbs with each kid, to now being MO at 5'7"/300lbs but am quite healthy. The best weight I've ever been is about 145 when I was in college/about the time I got married, and I thought I was still fat even though I can see now that I wasn't. So I'm going to have to work on retraining my brain a little.

More importantly, I'm not sure how well DH is going to handle me losing a lot of weight. He's over 400lbs, and while he professes to want to lose weight, he feels helpless to do so. I'm hoping that I will lead with a good example and he'll opt to get the band himself, or choose another way to lose weight. He was relatively fit until he left the Air Force in 2000, and then he gained weight at an alarming rate - 150-200lbs in probably 2 years. He's developed all sorts of health problems related to being MO. What I'm worried about is that DH will subconsciously sabotage me and feel threatened by my weight loss. Big stuff to think about! Would it stop me from getting the band? No, but I recognise that it's not out of the realm of possibilities that I'd end up divorced.

I'm also worried about me - how I treat, or would treat him when I lose weight. We've known each other since high school and he was always the fit one, the high school athelete, the one who biked 15 miles to work. He struggled with the AF weight standards since he's only 5-6, but he always managed to get back into standards (often using poor dieting habits - working out like crazy while nearly starving himself) until he got out of the AF. He got out and went on what can only be described serious binge streak. I was horrified. He gained and gained and gained, and while he'd give some lip service to wanting to lose weight, he made no real efforts. I've always just had a little creeping weight gain - a little here, a little there. No major gains at once. Over time, I realized that a lot of my weight gain/problem eating habits stemed from trying to "Keep up" with him. We'd order a ****a, he'd eat half so I'd eat half, otherwise he might eat the leftovers. Not rational but it was the thought process. He also eats "by the clock" and would pressure me to join him, even when I wasn't really hungry. Now that I've realized a lot of these poor habits and pressures, I'm able to work around them, but he still feels somewhat rejected if I don't want ice cream, or if I declare I'm not hungry just because it's 5pm.

His health problems are also causing challenges. He can barely walk a few feet without being winded, and is in a lot of pain in his joints. He isn't able to do many of the things we used to do for fun or that were his tasks/household chores in the past. I have to work at being patient. We realized a few years ago that he was both too busy with work and not physically fit enough to go on big vacations like going to Disney World where we would often walk 10 miles a day. So now DD and I go on those sorts of trips without him. So you could say that we now vacation separately because of the weight problems. I'm pretty sure that my frustration over that has made be act unkindly towards him at times. (I do however really enjoy taking the just-the-girls trips!)

So I am worried about the larger ramifications of losing weight. and the pressures it may put on my marriage, but at the same time, I know I deserve to fit and healthy, and I WANT to be healthy. So, we'll just have to deal with the challenges as they come.

Ready to get healthy!

Hunzi

Think Pink!

www.marykay.com/jfloyd

Elisabethsew · February 27, 2008

Welcome! From reading your intro, it seems like you've well thought out the different aspects of deciding on a surgical approach to aid in weight loss.

I take MANY Vitamins (including a huge calcium/magnesium capsule) as well as Rx medications and have no difficulty swallowing them ONE at a time with sips of Water inbetween and a glass of Water at the end to make sure they all go down into my stomach. As far as food goes, I can eat nearly everything I could before but in smaller amounts and slower. The key to feeling full is the proper level of restriction AND not drinking WITH meals.

I work full-time as an RN and am a full-time PhD student completing my dissertation. You'll need about 7-10 days recovery time and then life should be back to normal so I don't think your job would suffer.

I would give a lot of thought to your relationship with your hubby. I've been where he is now and that life is merely existing. It takes so much energy to do the smallest task that you go from bed to chair and eat... a viscious cycle. Why not have a heart to heart with your hubby and entertain the idea of doing this as a couple. You could even just ask him to come to the informational meeting with you for support. Once he sees others and hears for himself how the surgery can add quality and quantity to his life, he might be open to it.

Keep us posted.

Hunzi · February 27, 2008

Elizabeth,

Thank you so much for the welcome.

Your idea of inviting him to come with me to all the informational sessions is brilliant. When I went through them all last time, I went solo.

He's not unfamiliar with the band, since he's heard me talk about it for years, and his mom and sister have both been banded in the last few years, (but we don't live close by, so we only hear a few minor details now and then) and he knows they have both lost about 100lbs.

I will be getting the band for me. Selfish, a little. But I do hope that I can be a shining example for him and for my DD14, who is becoming overweight too. When I am more fit and able to exercise more, I can show her how much fun an active lifestyle can be.

I also wouldn't mind looking smoking hot. ;-)