losing friends

[mandyjo 1]

I am 9 months post op. I have lost enough weight look like a different person. Looks are not a real big deal to me. (or so I thought) I have (had) a lot of friends before I have the lapband done. As time as gone on I have see less and less of my friends. I am 30 and live in a small town. So we are all kind in the same boat... married, kids, and working. So we are all busy. But not any different then 9 months ago. My friends have not been rude, just distant. I am unsure of how to deal with it. Most of my friends are heavier so it is a touchy subject. I try not to bring it up at all. But it seems like the big white elephant in the room all the time. What do you do? how has life changed with your friends.... do you make new ones? We talking about life long friends here,not fairweather friends.

[IndioGirl55 32]

I am 9 months post op. I have lost enough weight look like a different person. Looks are not a real big deal to me. (or so I thought) I have (had) a lot of friends before I have the lapband done. As time as gone on I have see less and less of my friends. I am 30 and live in a small town. So we are all kind in the same boat... married, kids, and working. So we are all busy. But not any different then 9 months ago. My friends have not been rude, just distant. I am unsure of how to deal with it. Most of my friends are heavier so it is a touchy subject. I try not to bring it up at all. But it seems like the big white elephant in the room all the time. What do you do? how has life changed with your friends.... do you make new ones? We talking about life long friends here,not fairweather friends.

Hate to say it but looks like they are fairweather friends - or maybe I am just very lucky - my friends are still my friends - even the ones that are still heavy - they are proud and happy for me that I have lost weight - but again we are older and that may have something to with it.

If I were you I would hit the subject head on with them - Tell them how you are feeling - they can't do anymore than they have already done - maybe they think you are now judging them - just put it on the table and have a frank discussion with them

Good Luck..

[mandyjo 1]

thanks! I think I have been dancing around the situation. I don't want to upset the applecart. But it has already tipped over. I just need to get some balls and talk to them!!

[IndioGirl55 32]

thanks! I think I have been dancing around the situation. I don't want to upset the applecart. But it has already tipped over. I just need to get some balls and talk to them!!

Easier said than done :biggrin: I understand - but since you have been lifelong friends - I would try - can't hurt.

My best to you..

[georgia girl 35]

It's sad to say, but friends come and go for whatever reason. Sometimes I think life just gets in the way. DH and I lost our very best friends a couple of years ago (not due to weight loss). I still miss them, but life goes on.

If you think weight loss is the reason for this distance between you, I think you should bring it up. I mean, if they are your true friends, and want to salvage your friendship, I think they probably wouldn't mind discussing it with you. I hope it works out for you!