Have you ever???

LosingIt08 · February 24, 2008

Looked in the mirror at yourself and wanted to crawl up and just die?

I have my TOM for the first time since October (I have polycystic ovarian disease.. how joyful) and I am also at my heaviest I have ever been. The only thing I can say that is positive about myself is "well at least I will look great (if I was pregnant!")

My stomach is so huge. I literally look like I AM 6 months. I am so bloated and fat and just uggghhhhh shoot me please! None of my clothes look right.. and those are my FAT clothes.. I am leaving for a business trip tomorrow. There are mirrors everywhere in that damn office and hotel (I was there in Jan) and I just cant stand to even look at myself.

:lol:

3/19 feel so far away ....

She Smiles · February 24, 2008

You're not alone. I feel this way after finding out I won't be able to afford plastic surgery earlier this week. Everytime I look in the mirror what I see is hideous to me. I've lost over 100 pounds but right now I might as well be 250 pounds again, I'm hating myself that much.

You know though, in the rational part of my brain, I know that things could and have been a lot worse. And I should be grateful. Sigh. But sometimes it hard.

Just try to keep telling yourself that you've made an incredibly brave and healthy decision for yourself in getting banded. March 19 will be here before you know it and then the rest of your life begins. Hope you're feeling better soon.

cara51183 · February 24, 2008

Yeah - I avoid mirrors. When I do have to look in one or pass one I focus on my 'best' features - eyes, hair, um....ok, so my eyes or hair. But it does help some.

kacee · February 24, 2008

Been there...done that. I avoided mirrors like the plague before banding and FORGET about looking at my body without clothes on....NO WAY!!!! I didn't make friends with my mirror until about 3 months after surgery. I had my clothes off one day, had lost a goodly amount of weight and was feeling pretty feisty about the whole thing and I stepped in front of the mirror and I've been hooked ever since. I couldn't believe....I stood there and DIDN'T GAG!!!! I now stand in front of the mirror and go "Not BAD old girl!!!!" Sure my tummy hangs over a little and things are fairly saggy, but they hang and sag into a size 12 now instead of a size 24 and that's plenty okay by me! I'm gonna get a little nip and tuck done in the next two years to just smooth out the edges, but honestly, I feel pretty darned good about what I see now!!!! Who'd a thunk it! You'll get there and you will love it. I have been surprised at how "fast" a process it has seemed to be. This last year has WHIZZED by!

Elisabethsew · February 24, 2008

Everyday you're eating healthy and exercising, you're adding to your life... days and quality. Try focusing on the good things about yourself. A positive attitude really does go a long way in keeping you motivated. One day soon you'll see your reflection in the mirror by mistake and have to do a double take to make sure it's really you.

TulipStar · February 24, 2008

I have felt that way. I am trying to learn to be nicer to myself and not feel so much shame for what I am. I have PCOS too and since surgery I have been getting AF more frequently.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Your are a beautiful person on the inside and out. Reinforcing yourself with positive thoughts vs. negative thoughts will help you to reach your goals faster.