A new medical issue for me.

shortgal · March 4, 2008

Longhorn, I am so sorry it was bad news. I know how shocked and overwhelmed you must be. So many thoughts must be running through your mind. At least that's how I felt when my husband got his diagnosis.

I'm sure your family is overwhelmed, too.

What a freaking pain... you get banded to get healthy and then this!

Well now I guess I realize you must also be feeling anger.

I wish there was more i could say to help you. Please feel free to share anything if it makes you feel better, with the November bandsters that helps to get things off your chest, that you can't share with your family, because you don't want to worry them. We can be your personal therapists>

Longhorn · March 4, 2008

Thanks, Jill and shortgal! It does help to talk to others, especially those who have been through it themselves or with a loved one. Right now, I'm feeling very matter-of-fact about it but I'm sure I'll have some down days. Thanks for being here for me!

By the way, my name is Kendra. :drool:

travelgirl · March 4, 2008

I am not a November 07 bandster, but I have been lurking and following this thread.

Longhorn, I'm so sorry about this diagnosis, and I wanted you to know that you and your family are in my prayers. If you ever feel the need to have a prayer partner, please pm me, and I'd be happy to do that with you.

~Trixie~ · March 4, 2008

Longhorn, I am sending you a zillion prayers and a butt-load of positive energy! You are a strong, beautiful woman and you will beat this! If you need ANYTHING, we are all here for you!

cindyg1212 · March 4, 2008

Kendra,

I haven't been on much in the past week and just read the last 5 pages to catch up. So sorry for what you're going through and that I didn't offer my support sooner. You seem like a strong, wonderful lady and I am sure you will beat this. I'm sending you lots and lots of positive energy from New York. Please come here often for support or just to vent. You have a long journey ahead of you but please know that you have the support and good wishes from all of your fellow bandsters who will be with you in cyberspace every step of the way.

*Hugz*

Sades · March 4, 2008

I'm so sorry to hear this news Kendra, my heart goes out to you. You can fight this, many have. I agree with Shortgal, you must be feeling devastated and going crazy with all the thoughts going through your mind. The big C word has to be one of the scariest things to hear. I remember it well when we were told about dad and then 4 years later my sister. Stay strong and positive and keep posting so we can support you as much as we can. If you need anything or extra support, send me a PM. Good luck and only surround yourself with positive people to help get through this. love Sades xxx

shortgal · March 4, 2008

Kendra, My AKA is Judy. (I have a niece named Kendra, after my brother Ken).

I'm sure my husband had many initial fears that he didn't share with me, just as I had many I didn't share with him. Just many fleeting moments of what if's.

Neither of us are alarmists by any means. I think we both feel that would be wasted energy. We listened to the Dr and the choices available and picked one and then didn't look back. Having several choices can be hard because you think "am I picking the right one"? We are still very comfortable with the choice, at least I am and if my husband has changed his mind on that, he hasn't said so, but I truly don't think he second guesses it.

He breezed through surgery. He painted our basement with the catheter bag hanging onto a tab (the kind for a hammer) on his painters pants! The catheter was in place two weeks following surgery.

And about three weeks after surgery, our son and son in law were outside splitting wood. They got the hatchett stuck and couldn't get it out. We watched from the window. As they both tried several times.

Finally, my husband couldn't take it anymore, he calmly walked out, didn't say one word to them, grabbed the handle of the hatchett with the wood stuck in it and whacked it hard on the ground! Wood split open and he handed the hatchett back to one of the boys. In the meantime, I watched from the window horrified he would open his sutures or something! We still laugh about that.

My son and son in law and not little, weak men. They are both six feet tall and my son worked on ships for a while around that time, a physical job. And my son in law is a firefighter!

Chemo is tough, it drains you of energy. Hence the high Protein diet, I guess. And you've lost some weight and have been eating right for a while now, so that's good preparation.

I hope you'll rest when you need to and don't be afraid to ask for or accept help when you need it, from friends and family.

We recently helped friends through a VERY rough period. I am so grateful they let us help them. It was so good for us as well as them and we're closer friends than ever.

I learned so much from helping our friends. Before that I would have been the strong, silent type and If I had a problem, I would think it's mine to handle and not accept help, except from my husband. Now, I would immediately accept any help from my friends, if I was truly in need. I guess I learned it's ok to be vulnerable.

I'm sure this thread will remain active, as you have further testing and start your treatment and let us know how you're managing.

It's amazing how connected we can feel to people we've never met and as far as we know have little more in common with than a band inside of us.

P.S. I found it much easier to cry in the shower than anywhere else. It rid me of some pent up feelings in a private place. I didn't need to for my husband situation, but I did for our friend's situation... several times.

zippykat · March 4, 2008

Dear Kendra,

I'm so sorry to hear the news but medical advances have achieved so much in the last years. I beat cancer and so did my mom and so can you!You will be in my thoughts and prayers every day. Talk to us whenever you need support. Blessings on you and your family.

Love, Kathy

sfeiner · March 4, 2008

Dear Kendra, I'm so sorry you got bad news. I am praying for you . Please let us support you by posting and venting here. You know we are all here for you.

Foofy · March 4, 2008

Kendra,

Sorry you have to go through this. I hope you feel the love we are sending.

How fortunate that you have been on a healthy diet for four months now. You are probably in much better fighting shape than you otherwise would have been. From your previous emails, it seems clear that you are in good medical hands and that is a very big BLESSING.

Like everyone else has said, feel free to vent all you need in this forum. Let us be your safe place. We are all pulling for you.

Foofy (Karen)

Robin Bird · March 4, 2008

Kendra,

All my best thoughts are focused on you right now.

Robin

Shalee04 · March 4, 2008

Longhorn, Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

marathinner · March 4, 2008

Kendra....in true Longhorn spirit, I am sure you will prevail!! I am so sorry you and your family are going through this and I hope that you know the love and support here is genuine!!

Sending you lots of hugs and prayers,

Amy

Longhorn · March 5, 2008

The news is worse, I'm afraid.

It's a uterine sarcoma, which is a very aggressive, more rare cancer that is not considered curable. However, it may be controllable. I have about 20-25 nodules on my lungs, a couple up to 1 cm but most of them are very small, which means they may not have been there long, especially since I had a clean chest X-ray last October in preparation for Lap-Band surgery.

This has been the longest day of my life! I had a CT-scan of my lungs, a vaginal exam, another CT-scan of the pelvis (this time with various probes), the first radiation treatment, an MRI of my brain and pelvis, both with and without contrast, and my second radiation treatment. I'll have two radiation treatments again tomorrow and then wait two weeks. I may also have an ultrasound of my breasts tomorrow since last week's mammogram showed a couple of masses. However, I have dense breast tissue and this is not the first time that I've had to do a follow-up ultrasound to find out that the masses are cysts.

There is good news! The MRI showed no cancer in my brain or organs surrounding my uterus. Also, before I could bring it up, my oncologist suggested that I see if I can get to MD Anderson to a specialist in sarcomas that she knows. They think I can get in as early as Friday but that's still in the works. Right now, the course of action is radiation to get rid of the tumor and chemo to get rid of the cancer in my lungs (which will also work on any other cancer that might be in my system.) They're still not sure exactly which cancer it is and it could be a mix of cancers, which could be harder to treat.

As you can imagine, I'm really exhausted and I have a long day tomorrow, between teaching and appointments. I truly appreciate the caring, advice, and support that I've received -- it's overwhelming! I can never thank you enough but please know that my heart is full!

cindyg1212 · March 5, 2008

Hi Kendra,

So sorry the news is worse than you expected. I honestly can't imagine what you're feeling now. I'm glad that your doctors are treating it aggressively and have already started radiation. Stay positive and optimistic. Your strong, positive attitude will aid you in your defense against this disease. We are all here for you offering our prayers and wishes of good health during this fight.