Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

telling people about surgery



Recommended Posts

This is my first time on this forum. It has been interesting reading everyones comments whether to tell or not to tell. I am scheduled for surgery on Monday, Feb 25th and am scared to death. I have told my immediate family, a couple of close, close friends but am so unsure of some other close friends. I think they may just feel I am taking the easy way out.....which all of you know is not true. Just don't know what to do so I am doing nothing.:grouphug:

Just told my 96 year old mother-in-law and she was great about it. Told my 50ish sister-in-law and she was full of questions and seemed judgemental. Oh well. My husband, Mom and kids have been a great support group. I know that will continue after the surgery as well.
:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome and best of luck with your surgery. It's normal to have doubts but you're in good hands and have people to support you post-op.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just got banded 2 days ago. I was scared, too. I believe I made the right decision for me. I think at some point in life I was taught to place too much value on other people (and their opinions), and tried to please others and take care of them, sometimes at my own expense. I had to realize that this was about me. I needed to do this for ME. Fortunately, everyone has been supportive. What they said behind my back is none of my business.

I heard this saying and it holds true for me: "Those that matter don't judge, and those that judge don't matter."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was banded Jan. 16th and at first I planned to keep it under my hat and only tell those who needed to know, but very soon after my surgery people started noticing my weight loss and I found it easier to tell the truth about it, and I am glad I did. Most people I have told have been supportive and the majority ask curious questions, and that is ok with me.

Have you seen the movie "Akeela and the Bee"? If you have, remember when they talk about having "fifty thousand coaches"...well I have found that being open and willing to talk about the lap bad has gained me a whole network of support I otherwise would not have had.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nataliesnana, Good luck for Monday. I'm sure you will be just fine. We all have gone through the horrible anxiety beforehand and know how you feel. I was very nervous beforehand and have now been banded for 5 weeks. You will be ok. Keep us up to date with how you are going.

Saleel22

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am not banded yet...hoping to be in March. But I have found myself already telling some people of my intentions. I kind of wish I hadn't though, because there are some people that I don't really want to tell because of them being judgemental and critical of my decision. Especially my in-laws. However, since I've already told some people, word will probably get around to those who don't know. So, I guess that means I have to be truthful with everyone now, because I would hate to get caught in a lie.

But I agree with some of the other comments - I really shouldn't care what people think about it. I will be doing it for me and my husband and child, and I guess I'll just have to get some thicker skin regarding anyone else's opinion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've only told a few people outside of family. Two actually. And I'm keeping it that way as long as I can. I know that this is a tool and that it won't make me loose weight. I'll still have to work at it. And I don't want people watching me all the time expecting me to suddenly be half my size. I don't want people to think I took the easy way out because this is far from easy. I may change my mind later, but here is where I'm at now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      Just for fun last week, I ran two 5Ks in two days, something I would have never done in the past! Next goal is a 10K before the end of this month.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Teriesa

      Hi everyone, I wrote back in May about having no strength. I still get totally exhausted just walking from room to room, it’s so bad I’m using a walker with wheels of all things. I had the gastric sleeve Jan. 24th. I’m doing exactly what the programs says, except protein shakes. I have different meats and protein bars daily, including vitamins daily. I do drink my fluids as well.  I go in for IV hydration 4 days a week and feel ok just til evening.  So far as of Jan 1st I’ve dropped 76 lbs. I just want to enjoy the weight lose. Any suggestions or has anyone else gone thru this??  Doctor says just increase calorie intake, still the same. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Stone Art By SKL

      Decorative Wall Cladding & Panels | Stone Art By SKL
      Elevate your space with Stone Art By SKL's decorative wall claddings & panels. Explore premium designs for timeless elegance.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Losing my hair in clumps and still dealing with "stomach" issues from gallbladder removal surgery. On the positive side I'm doing better about meeting protein and water goals and taking my vitamins, so yay? 🤷‍♀️
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×