Moderator and Privacy Issues on LBT

[lapbander081004 7]

Alex,

I understand that your moderators have not had an easy time lately. I hope the board is ready to settle down and return to the great site it is. Moderators need to be able to do thier jobs without fear of disgruntled members going after them in open threads. All complaints should be forwarded to you for consideration and or action.

I also hope everyone who hid thier identiy, for what ever reason, informs you as you have requested and ALL given a chance to return here. Some did it to be trouble makers others did it for fear of that almighty PM. But for what ever reason it was done we see the damage it causes. I did not do it but had considered going "Undercover" because I wanted to be able to post and be here without fear.

One last thing. Everyone has differnt views on different topics....If everyone is careful in placing a proper title on thier threads then those who do not wish to discuss politics/religion or any other topic then they are warned and should not enter the site unless they can hold a civil discussion and respect others opinions as they want thiers respected. We are not here to hurt but to help each other. If sex/race/religion or political views cloud you abilities to be civil move on to another threads....there are hundreds of them out here.

[athykay 9]

Wow I don't know what happened, when and why? But I love this site, it has been here for me many times over. I would hate to loose it. It is like a friend that is always there. I hope that everything can get worked out.

What a shame that would be to loose the connection that we all have. I come here when I can and everyone has always been so wonderful. I can't imagine losing that security. I always knew that someone here would have some great advise or a wonderful story to tell.

I don't have a clue as to what has happened or why. But I hope that what ever is decided it is given great thought. This site has touched many lives including mine.

Thanks!!!!!!!

Kathy

[BigT 0]

First of all I want to thank Alex for this site and the many others that have replied to my posts. I truly have learned alot about the band and the many issues and nuances of being banded.

Regarding the problem- For a suggestion as to solving and preventing this in the future.

1st- Have a list of what is considered appropriate behavior and what is acceptable and not acceptable in regard to posts. This list must be agreeded to by all who post here or join the site.

2nd- have one moderator (and one alternate to act when the primary is gone)with the abilities to edit,delete and remove posts. This moderator will act with a light hand and only enforce the rules of #1.

3rd- on many other boards I have been on-there is another button on the posts labeled-{report this post}. If a person feels this post is against the rules or offending then they can report it and a copy of the post gets sent to the moderator and his/her alternate. If it can be programmed maybe after 3 such reports from different posters the post will be temporarly but automatically pulled until it can be reviewed by the moderator for compliance with the rules. If deemed okay- it will be returned in its entirety. If deemed in violation- it is removed with a PM to the author explaining which rule exactly is in violation. If the post is salvagable--i.e. just a particular word or phrase is in violation-the author is given the option of editing his own post and reposting the now acceptable post.

These are just suggestions that I feel will make the moderators job easier to do-provide the board some level of self guidance- and at the same time identify what is acceptable behavior for the board.

What do you think?

T

[blossom 2]

I'm not sure what to say that hasn't already been said. I feel like in this case 1 apple has spoiled a whole bunch. This apple has stired the pot til it reeks!!!I

Also I am very upset with the thought that anyone would act like they are someone their not only to get attention from inocent people looking for help and support. Also going as far as pming people with comments under a FAKE name just to keep the pot stired. SO CHILDISH.

Fortunately, I only saw a small part of the ugliness that took place on this forum recently. But from the small part I saw, I could not describe the situation any better than the above quote. I am sickened by the hostile direction this forum has taken. I come here for the support and friendship of people who are in similar circumstances as myself. In return, I want to give back that support and friendship to those who come here looking for it. The hostility here has got to be stopped!!! I believe, Alex, it us up to you as the creator of this board to meet with your moderators and come up with guidelines on how they are to do their jobs and handle the so called "bad apples".

Also, I just want to say that the personal attack on Marie was absolutely disgusting!!! Marie has been one of THE MOST supportive people on this forum. Not only is she a wonderful moderator, she takes the time to make people feel at home here. It was her kind consideration of me on a personal level that initially made me want to stay at LBT. Money could NEVER buy that kind of support!!!

So, Alex, there you have it! My two cents. Now the hardest part is up to you. I sincerely hope that you can find a solution to this mess and bring this forum back to the fun, loving, and healthy place it used to be.

[I'llsucceed 1]

Oh my Lord!! I can believe that there is still this drama going on... I think all the women should stand up straight & tall & all the "Children" that are playing here on LBT should be grounded & sent home.

Now I really mean what I say... not being silly or trite.. If there are moderators whom are causing problem- fire them!

If there is a user causing continued destress to others--send them packing.

If this issue or issues what ever they seem to be are constantly continuing - ask those involved to stop or leave.

I seriously do not know all what has been happening but I do believe that it should quickly be resolved.

I like Marie too- never once saw a problem... that being said if it is causing such a whoohaaa, maybe, just maybe she could step down as a moderator. Maybe she shouldn't.... Maybe there should be a set guide line for all moderators to follow from here on out & if that set of rules is proven broken - well have them step down.

As to double names- seriously again child's play. Ground them , tell them its wrong & stop or send them home.

My thoughts only-of course I don't have all the facts.

wishing you luck at the play ground

I'll Succeed

Just one more thing- Alex I have never met you - but I do LOVE you for what you do! Thank You Very Much

[Bright 9]

I'm not sure what to say that hasn't already been said. I feel like in this case 1 apple has spoiled a whole bunch. This apple has stired the pot til it reeks!!!I

Also I am very upset with the thought that anyone would act like they are someone their not only to get attention from inocent people looking for help and support. Also going as far as pming people with comments under a FAKE name just to keep the pot stired. SO CHILDISH.

This is totally true for me too - no other actions have bothered me - everyone else was acting within the boundaries of their own personality, stressed to the limit, but completely forgivable.

Alex, thank you for such a brilliant board - everything about it is fantastic!

This hasn't changed our board irrevocably, just widened the lens for a short time - none of us are loving, kind and supportive 100% of the time. We know each other better now, have seen more of ourselves, realised more of where we stand on issues.....the only thing that will change this meeting place now, is how we continue on....

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative

Oscar Wilde

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

Carl Jung

[Jammin & Losin 1]

LaMadam~ Bright~ Blossom I want to thank you for suporting me on what I posted here. I was very worried that it would make some mad,but I'm glad to see the 3 of you see things in a similar way that I do.

[shamrock 0]

I have been following this mess the best I can. I too have not been able to piece the whole thing together. But it sure turned into an ugle monster that keeps lurking around. The one thing that really bothers me is if someone here was posting under false pretense making up ficticious names and scenerios, every single one of lbt members was taken advantage of and being made a mockery of. It belittled every one of the members who come here and post their fears and triumphs. LBT and it members was being disrespected in one of the worst ways. Thus not making this site a safe place to come when we need help support and advice. Nor feel comfortable in offering comfort and humor to someone who thinks this is a game. Yes the members need to be protected against this. There needs to be guidelines to the moderators and members need to be held accountable for their actions. Taking the wait and watch approach has only let that this mess get way out of hand. It needs to be delt with very very soon. I agree with Whipple that their needs to be someone that the moderators to may go to. Enough said LBT is a fantastic place and needs to continue on.

[sharon 0]

I have no idea what happenned but "trolls" seem to occur time to time on Boards. I also belong to a Mastiff board and a neighborhood board. On both boards certain members did have to get kicked off since they misrepresented who they were (also known as Trolls). These people seem to get their kicks by pissing everyone off and stirring up trouble. Ignoring them did no good and the administrators eventually locked them out. It's a shame because on a board such as this, people are are trying to share some very personal information.

I for one love this board!!!

[nightingale2u 42]

Alex...

First of all... this forum is like my second family and it has been terrible watching another moderator being attacked publicly... especially when one of the other moderators was directly involved... apologies aside... this was unacceptable behavior from a moderator IMHO ... it shows an lack of impulse control and a tendency toward being swayed easily into destructive activities. I think we all deserve to feel that the moderators will all support each other and stay removed and impartial when events like this crop up. I hope you will consider this...

Thank you so much for creating this forum... it really has been a godsend for me!!!!

[blossom 2]

Geez, one moderator attacked another one???? I didn't even know that! Even more disgusting!!!!!

[coyotegirl 3]

PLEASE KEEP LBT UP AND RUNNING!!!!!! I don't think I can do this without all the support from all these wonderful people!! I don't have a local support group I can attend.

I NEED YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!

[Rebeccalee 2]

Many of us are trying so hard to be polite on this board that the messages here seem very vague. I would hate for some of them to be misconstrued. I have been told that they have been misunderstood. This is what I want to say for clarity on my part.

Marie was attacked in public posts on this board. Many of those posts are gone now, which is good. Marie defended herself and apologized and tried to return to her quiet shadows. She was continually harassed after that. Some of that was done by people using false identities. Lisa/DeLarla sent private messages to people attacking Marie. Penni was very involved with Lisa, but denies any wrong-doing. I disagree. Marie has kept to herself as far as I know. Many others have stirred things up with Lisa.

There....that is the end of my "death-warrant". I have had too many peope asking me who and what and have not wanted to say these things. But I fear that people are either getting the wrong impression from vague posts or are taking advantage of the vagueness. I consider myself a bystander who could no longer stand the injustice done to some people on the board, especially when some of my dear cyber-friends left in sadness and fear. Sometimes I feel like I should have left too.

I am sorry for anyone I have hurt. I am sorry that people were hurt by others. I have been hurt by all this too. I like all the people involved in this chaos. It is a sad, sad time for me.

[the best me 6]

I am no longer mortified, and I have opinions, many of which are reflected above, and since you are asking, Alex B., here goes. The following has been stated and I agree wholeheartedly...

Donali: "moderators...HAVE to set and example, and canNOT indulge themselves in their tempers or opinions" and, "I personally look to Alexandra to restore tone and equilibrium. I feel as though I have always been able to count on her maturity and level-headedness when it comes to allowing people to express themselves, yet not letting certain controversial threads get too out of hand by locking down the smoldering embers."

Whippledaddy: A beautifully written (as always) analogy. We need a moderator with assistants. I miss you.

Jamie, et al: One apple has spoiled the bunch

Vinesqueen: "Moderators are charged with being the editors of this board...This is not censorship, it is good stewardship."

Greg: "If everyone is careful in placing a proper title on their threads, then those who do not wish to discuss politics/religion or any other topic...should not enter the site"

Big T: in particular, suggestion #3 with a "report this post" button

Becky: Thank you for speaking plainly. I was confused and wondering about the politely vague messages. I am willing to go down with you to say that I agree with your analysis.

As far as Marie goes: She was in a no-win situation. To ignore the confrontations and continue with her kind and helpful and encouraging posts only invited more vigorous confrontation. To actually get a spine and show some backbone against it, only invited more criticism. What to do? I do not envy her position, but she has never failed to garner my respect with her faithfulness and earnest encouragement.

There is a twinge of anxiety still in me about this situation; I am searching for closure, a decision, a conclusion, some finality. I hope it comes soon.

I love and need LBT and you fine people. Thank you for making my life better in so many ways. I couldn't go away, I just couldn't even try. I will participate in the healing with all I've got.

Thank you Alex B. for LBT. This may be a difficult time for you, but your efforts have been and will be worth it. Don't ever regret it.

[Banded14yr 2]

Kathy,

Very well written

Without sounding like I'm just repeating what others have said, I'm officially going out on the limb with Becky, Darcy and Michelle since they were part of the brave few that posted their feelings about the whole mess that has happened on this forum. I totally agree with what they have said regarding what happened on this board and am also disappointed that people had to act out against others which just created a lot of hurt that was totally uncalled for.

Alex I know I will sound like a broken record, but do what you gotta do. I will respect whatever decision you make and want to also thank you for giving us all the opportunity to speak about the lapband even though a select few were determined to ruin it for everybody even if it wasn't their main intent to do so. I feel that a select "couple" of people on this board thrive for attention to the point where we all have witnessed "Temper Tantrums" and over dramatized events to try and gain that attention. Only a professional that deals with mentally unstable people can help (these) people.

Good luck in your endeavors to try and keep the peace on this board. It's got to be a tough job

BTW: I think general "Message Board Rules" or whatever you want to call it needs to be posted or even agreed to when registering for this board. If a user breaks the rules then they need a warning from a moderator, if they break it again, then I totally agree with banning the user.

Tricia