Moderator and Privacy Issues on LBT

[Alex Brecher 10,502]

I started LBT a while back to help the current and potential LBT community. I own a busy company and I feel really bad that I don't have so much time to be involved with LBT on a daily basis.

All of the new issues that have cropped up at LBT over the last few weeks have gotten me very upset. Why can't we all just get along ?

I haven't read one email or private message anybody has sent me and for this I apologize.

I'd really like to hear back from everybody in a short concise manner on how you suggest we fix the moderator and privacy issue on LBT. There's no reason why anybody has to leave or feel bad about anything.

I'll be watching this post and I'll attempt to respond asap.

[DeLarla 22]

Alex, I have too many PMs that would not be appropriate to post publicly. If I put the title to this thread in the subject line, would you read a short PM from those of us that feel the need for confidentiality?

Thank you. And we can't thank you enough for LBT.

[Alex Brecher 10,502]

Alex, I have too many PMs that would not be appropriate to post publicly. If I put the title to this thread in the subject line, would you read a short PM from those of us that feel the need for confidentiality?

Thank you. And we can't thank you enough for LBT.

Yes, that would work for me.

[Rebeccalee 2]

I have talked to many people who used to come here who feel like fools when they find out they are talking to people who have been made up -- fictitious characters. They don't want to ruin the boards for new people and people who don't know or care, so they just go away or pretend it doesn't exist.

How can it possibly be fixed when one of the moderators is being railroaded and one is making up new identities with the rest of the people who have been posting rude things.

It has turned my world upside down -- as far as lapband support. There are so many lies that I get sick to my stomach coming here. As one of my dear friends who really left said, "I feel like a friend has died."

It is no wonder that a person who was kicked off other boards has caused trouble here. I know this is my death-warrant here on this board. And I crying and shaking as I write this.

A heartfelt thank you to ALL of you wonderful people. I don't blame any of you for not being brave enough to post. I'm not either, but I will leave with my integrity if I must go. Hugs to all who care.

[Alexandra 55]

Alex, I hope you will take some time to read at least a couple of my PMs on the recent brouhaha. I'd appreciate it. Thanks!

[nightingale2u 42]

Hi Alex,

The atmosphere at LBT is not one of comfort right now. I find that the joy of posting and supporting others is being tainted by the continuance of members presenting themselves as other people that are looking for support. When I read a post from a new member... I feel that I can't even trust that it is someone really in need.

I think that Marie is a wonderful moderator... she has been so supportive to so many members and her actions with so many speak louder than words... but there continues to be a linch mob that involves another of your moderators, and as long as that continues, I will respectfully avoid this forum.

My heart breaks as this forum was literally my extended family... Like Becky... My stomach has been turned in knots worrying about this site and what has been happening. In my book the needs of the many outweight the needs of the few... and MANY want this to end and have the forum that they love and need back!

Sincerely So Sad...

[Alex Brecher 10,502]

If anybody has multiple LBT usernames please PM me right away to have them deleted. I can run reports to see which IP the signups came from and I'm going to ban anybody who has fake or multiple usernames within 72 hours if they don't PM me please.

[La_madam 20]

Alex I too sent you an email on Monday regarding this whole mess here at LBT, if you read it you will know how Iam feeling, but I will say that I agree with both Becky and Darcy.

My thoughts on Marie is that she has been a very caring and kind member to myself and many others here, she has done a great job moderating this site. It is sad to have to walk on egg shells every time we log in here in fear of getting a nasty PM , getting threatened or wonder if the person we are talking to is really the person they claim to be. It never used to be like this up until recently. There are a few members here who I have confided in , that I felt something was up about 3-4 weeks ago, a conspiracy of sort and I was right, it all came to a head last weekend. During the time I felt something was up I even took time away from this board for about 5 days because I was so angry, after discusing this with other members they all felt it too, that should say something as to how we have all gotten to know this board and the members here. I do not have an answer as to how we can fix the rpoblem alot of damage has been done too many nasy things have been said

I hope Alex their is a solution,and that others are not afraid to come forward like we all have and put in their feelings I will be waiting patiently to see it.

[nightingale2u 42]

I for one hope you are running the report right now Alex... I think it is perfectly wonderful that you can do that. None of us should have to wonder if other members are real or sincere... most of us are here for two reasons... give and get support.

Thank You Alex...

[donali 57]

Okay, this isn't succint, but here goes...

I'm not sure exactly what happened, as I can't hang out here as often as I used to, so I am blissfully uninformed regarding the worst of the nastiness. It has been eluded to, but I have not read anything that succintly states 1)what happened, 2)why it happened, 3) how it was resolved.

I do not need to know the particulars to know that multiple people were involved, best foots were not being put forward, and that as a result several innocent bystanders got sucked into picking sides and others left in disgust.

Even though I am not as much of a regular as I used to be, I am still greatly saddened and fearful that LBT may go the way of other boards - that was really one of the great things about LBT - it was different, and really felt like a community.

The hard thing is, it felt that way because of the MEMBERS - not because of the moderators! The MEMBERS had all belonged to other boards, and came here because they were disgusted with all the goings on at the other boards - the politics, the censorship, the "gospel according to XXX", the "my doctor's better than any other" cliques, places where no other viewpoint could be expressed or tolerated. Those of us who came here didn't want THAT kind of board, so WE conducted ourselves the way WE wanted our board to be - with kindness and support for all. This was not due to the moderators, or the board owner - it was due to the MEMBERS.

We ALL need to take responsibility for our actions - moderators and members alike. Nastiness begets nastiness. I know that our moderators are volunteers, and are only human like the rest of us, but they HAVE to set an example, and canNOT indulge themselves in their tempers or opinions. They HAVE to be above the conniving, the taking sides - they MUST have a level head at all times, or refrain from making decisions in anger or frustration. Perhaps that's not fair to ask, but IMHO, that is what makes a good moderator.

I personally look to Alexandra to restore tone and equilibrium. I feel as though I have always been able to count on her maturity and level-headedness when it comes to allowing people to express themselves, yet not letting certain controversial threads get too out of hand by locking down the smoldering embers.

This is what a moderator needs to be. I have no idea how best to handle members that are going off the deep end and getting out of control, but the moderators need to have some guidelines that they agree upon for dealing with certain issues, and then they need to come up with clear guidelines for the members about what will or will not be tolerated.

It is unfortunate that it has come to this. I personally preferred the time when the members were self-moderating, but perhaps that golden time has now passed.

Or has it??? It is really up to the members to keep this a place that they want to come, if they don't care for a heavy moderator hand, now, isn't it?

Perhaps everyone can take a deep breath, step back, own what is theirs, wipe the slate clean, and go forward from here a little wiser and a little more careful about how we conduct ourselves in the future.

[HarleyNana 10]

First let me say thank you Alex for such an informative and what was trusted and comforting site. I strongly agree with Darcy, Becky, and La_madam. I have not said anything until now, but I feel numerous people have attempted to make a mockery of this site. Until a week or so ago, I felt like everyone was my friend and really cared about not only me, but each other.

Like the posts before me, unless I'm replying to a longtimer, I do not trust the supposedly new members and that's so unfair to those really seeking help, I haven't forgotten I too was a new member many months ago.

Please do not get frustrated and close down the site at this time, but if you're unable to block the trouble makers, (after you run your report), then I will understand. How could anyone expect you to put up with the imature BS going on, when you've given so much of yourself and time. You have provided us with a place to ask our questions and share our trials and tribulations, and for that I will always be grateful.

[nightingale2u 42]

I think Alexandra does a wonderful job as an impartial moderator and I feel that all of the moderators should have that same goal in mind and should be able to trust each other and present in a cohesive manner. Freindships aside... I feel a moderator should always act in the best interest of the forum as a whole not in the best interest of a single friendship.

Donali... I love your mind... can I borrow it sometime.

[Zoe 6]

...multiple people were involved, best foots were not being put forward, and that as a result several innocent bystanders got sucked into picking sides and others left in disgust. ...

Perhaps everyone can take a deep breath, step back, own what is theirs, wipe the slate clean, and go forward from here a little wiser and a little more careful about how we conduct ourselves in the future.

Amen.

After reading everyone's posts here, I realize I had (and have) no idea what has been going on; what I thought was a personal dispute that got out of hand now starts to look like a Byzantine conspiracy, what with multiple identities and all that. Enough already. All I know is that LBT has been an incredible source of trusted support and information for me, and I don't think I would have found the courage to get banded if it hadn't been for the thoughtful, caring people in this forum -- including people who seem to be in the thick of the recent mess. LBT is STILL full of valuable information and support and I pray it can remain that way. Meanwhile, I'm trying to stay away from threads that might perpetuate the schism and weirdness (however compelling the soap opera might be), and hope everyone can get past the destructive feuding.

[the best me 6]

Well, well, well...now don't I feel a bit foolish now for responding to poor Bigchix...hook, line, and sinker? I'm upset, not because someone got one (or two) over on me. Heck, I still don't know for sure if Bigchix was real, but I don't mind feeling foolish for attempting to be kind and helpful. You can hate me for being naive, but not unkind. Here is what makes me upset. I respond to Bigchix, others in the know DON'T PM ME and give me the scoop, and now it appears as though I am in the middle of this fiasco, egging it on. So am I a newbie, not to be trusted? I can't tell you how the thought of people PMing one another about me being some kind of newbie plant makes me cringe. It's specualtion, I can't prove it, but noone was talking with me, so I'd bet the cost of my surgery next month that whatever LBT Club that has been created here by this mess had discussions with my name in it. THAT I don't like. That is what spoils it. Let me just say for the record that I had nothing to do with whatever was going on with BigChix. Innocent Sucker, here.

If I am going to make this Band work for me, I need LBT. There is too much info, support and encouragement here for me to give it up. It's just that what I have to offer is suspect. It bothers me, but I can live with it.

Thank You Alex B. for your time and attention. LBT will be back to normal, I know it, and I trust your judgement on taking care of the difficulties swiftly and justly.

[Rebeccalee 2]

Kathy,

I am sorry if you feel slighted or like you have been placed in a poor light. If it makes you feel any better, I have just not been posting to anyone else except a couple people I have known very personally for months. That's why I have stuck my neck out here publicly. I really don't know who to trust and have even been warned to "watch what I post."

For what it's worth -- go back and check people's posts. Those who reply with kindness and sincerity -- and very personal details of their lives!! -- are probably just what they seem.

You are welcome in my little world of support any time.