Kareyquilts TT, BL, Lipo & BA

[MimIN 19]

Hey Karey! I am jumping in a little late but thought I'd share my experience. After my first ps (breast aug) I was not too bad, I knew I wanted atleast a TT at some point but I was still losing at that time. Since my LBL in Nov I have been a nutcase. I was very unsatisfied with the results and in the meantime found other things to pick at. I am overly critical of every facet of my body and it really does mess with the head. I could rationalize that I do infact look great compared to pre-band but I was still unhappy and did not know how to embrace and love me for who I am. I haven't mastered that yet but I hope to!

I fear I have been sucked into the PS blackhole. I am just about 5 months post op and I have booked another surgery that will be part 1 of 2. After that is complete I know I want my arms done and I really want botox/juviderm but fear even starting it because I know I will become obsessive about that too.

Although I do not have a lot of advice I totally understand where you are. I think councelling is a very personal choice and not for everyone. I found a councellor that is a band patient and has gone through much of what I have and more for that matter. It helps to know that she does understand and has the inside scoop.

[kareyquilts 1]

Mimin: It's nice to know that I'm not the only one. I just had Juvaderm around the lines on my mouth and lips. I am swollen and bruised, very bruised! My daughter's wedding is in 3 weeks and I think that I may not be healed. I think I just screwed myself, actually! I really wanted to make a splash with my TT, etc. Also, the filler did not get all the wrinkles and the doc says he can touch it up. I'm not going to chance any more bruising right not. I spent a lot of money and I don't think it was worth it. This experience has taught me that I need to think things through more carefully. I just trusted my doc and I guess I still do, but he definetly doesn't walk on Water, anymore! I will see him next week and get his scoop on things. I just feel like I'm wearing a sign- "Not aging gracefully!" I am thinking of a thigh lift with butt lift and arms. Also, had decided to go ahead with a face lift, but not so sure. Maybe this was a good experience. You'll have to share how you feel after the next procedure, even if you just PM me! Take care!

[MimIN 19]

I have a friend who swears the swelling and bruising only lasts a few days and in a week it looks fabulous so I wouldn't worry too much about the bruising being there for the wedding. It's amazing stuff, she is 42 and really has never 'looked' her age but now that she regularly gets botox and juvaderm she looks younger than I do 12 years her junior. I really REALLY want it now that I am noticing my nasolabials deepening and seeing fine lines. I wont be growing old gracefully, that I can guarantee!

Edited April 27, 2008 by MimIN

[juliegeraci 7]

Julie: Wow, congratulations! That snuck up on me, but not on you, huh!? I'm impressed that you're already posting. I washed my garment in the gentle cylce with baby detergent and than hung it up to air dry. Not good to put it in the dryer. If it has blood on it (mine did), use some hydrogen perixode. It works great. I had some of my drains for up to 10 days. You really get use to taking care of them. My belly button did not bleed. Let me know what the doc tells you about that. How's your pain? It is exciting to be able to see your privates, etc.! I'm happy for you. It will all be worth it. Welcome to the FLATLANDS!

Hi Karey, I am feeling really good now..just a little tired. I'm up and around on my own now. Thanks for the tip on washing the binder. It definitely needs it. I should get my drain out mid to late next week. I am thrilled with my stomach. I can't believe how flat it is. I am now wearing baggy 14/16 pajama bottoms. So who knows I may be in a size 14. I'm okay with 16 though. I am taking the liquid tylenol with codeine right now just to make sure I'm not in any pain. I do take 1 vicodin only at night to help me sleep. I'll post some pics as soon as I can get a pair of underwear on. Julie

[Foofy 0]

My husband is fine with the way I look now. I think he doesn't want to see me go through anymore pain, there is the cost, etc. You know I don't think he really sees me physically much anymore. We have been married for 33 years. He loved me when I was heavy and he loves me now. So, I guess there are pros and cons to me not really seeing me that way. Does that make sense? I want him to notice me more now, and he does like my new body (and boobs), but our relationship isn't really based on looks. I think I am truly blessed to have such a great husband. If I want to do anymore PS, it's really for me, because, based on my experience with the TT, it's not going to change much in our relationship.

Karey, I've been thinking about this since you posted. First, you are lucky (and so am I) to have a man who has loved you for who you are for such a long time. That's a great blessing. You obviously know and appreciate that.

It's really hard to change how people react to each other after such a long time - over any type of issue. Familiarilty and habit set in and are almost impossible to break. Have you ever thought that maybe at some level he worries that you are going to improve yourself so much that you will want to leave? That can be scary for a spouse. I think my husband has those fears. I am not nearly as far in my journey as you are, but I can see that I am going to have to be very sensitive about that at some point in the future.

I too worry about what happens when you start doing PS - one thing just leads to another. It's like the house. You redo the wood floors and the walls look dingy. Then you paint the walls and the ceiling looks dingy. It never ends.

I have no answers. Enjoy that flat belly and those perky boobs gal, because you earned them. Post some update pics!

[kareyquilts 1]

Foofy: Interesting comments. Habit does set in. I don't think I really see him all the time either. I guess it's just a little disappointing after all the things I have been through in the last year and a half to not have things change a little more. Hard to know what is reasonable. Basically, I'm the same person in just a little different body and he is the same good person he has always been. We are both hard working people with a lot going on. It's hard to make time stop and just enjoy each other. That being said, since I have been recouperating from surgery, I've had a lot more time to think about things. This is not necessarily good! I think I've been putting too many unreasonable expectations out there. What I'm learning is to try and figure out what I want and need. Some might think this is easy, but for me, it's really not. Too many years of being a mother to 5 children, being a wife, working and volunteering and doing everything that I thought I should and I've lost touch with what I really like and want. This weight loss journey has taught me a lot about putting my needs first. I have made time to exercise, prepare the right foods, etc. What I have learned is that my family actually does better because I am emotionally healthier and happier. My children are proud of me and really support me. I have watched them as they grow up and they certainly don't have any trouble going for what they want or need. I don't know how it happens but somewhere along the line, I learned to ignore very basic needs and just put my shoulder to wheel and do whatever needed to be done. So, back to plastic surgery, etc. I am extremely happy with and glad that I got a Tummy Tuck and breast lift, etc. I think that I may get more things done. I'm allowing myself some time to get back into real life again, which I am now in the midst of doing. I'm back to exercise, work and loving the people in my life. I may want to get some counseling, but not really about plastic surgery. More about my feelings of self-worth and the hole I feel that can't get filled up. Don't know if this makes sense or not. I'm going to think about if the pain of PS is worth the gain, but not if I'm worthy of it. I think that I've learned that looking better doesn't cure negative feelings about oneself. I know that being self-disciplined helps my feelings of self-worth and I still need to discover how else to fill up my bucket. Well, I've rambled long enough. I guess it's good to have these problems instead of some of the serious health and image problems I had before my lapband!

[sadie11 2]

I have been following this thread with great interest. I also want to have a TT I think when I lose my weight. I have always had a pot belly and no waist even when I was 145 lbs and I'm just sick of it. It's my father's fault - I got his body!

I am a retired psychologist and since I don't have clients anymore I get to think about myself! It has occured to me that after losing my excess weight (and getting a TT maybe), I will probably go through an extended period of grief.

The grief will be for all the experiences I didn't get to have as a fat woman and all the pain that I went through over my life. Even though I have had a wonderful life, I believe I will grieve for the Lost Person I feel I could have been if I didn't have a weight problem that inhibited me so.

Being fat in America is a traumatic experience and I swear we all have post traumatic stress syndrome at least a little bit!

I feel like the impluse after the TT will be to correct all the other areas wrong with me but I know that even if I end up with a perfect body, I will never recover my Lost Person or the time lost.

I am already in mourning for all the energy I wasted dieting since I was 12. The talents I might have nutured with the energy spent counting calories and obessively exercising, etc, etc.

I am 58 now and I hope the next 20 years will be the best of my life. I hope that having a smaller body will be enough to please me (and wearing a bikini has never appealed to me anyway). My little TT will be enough (I hope).

Maybe some of this is part of what some of you may be going through. I am not even close to goal or a TT so this all may change when I get where you all are. But I thought you might be interested in my thoughts.

Love and success on your journey!

Sadie

[Foofy 0]

Great post Sadie. I never thought about grief associated with weight loss from that perspective. Very eye opening. I love your thoughts!

I AM a bit worried about what you are going to do with that sedated Lynx....

[sadie11 2]

Thanks Foofy- I think grief is a more prevailing emotion than we think. I am also grieving not having a happier childhood- probably one reason for the beginning of my food problems. Trying to make up for it now by have a great adulthood!

BTW -I'd worry more if the Lynx was not sedated! yuk yuk --I got to help with the release of 3 lynx in the San Juan Mts. It was awesome- they are so beautiful and smell just like a kitty cat- clean and fresh. They have paws the size of a salad plate to use like snowshoes. Great experience.

Sadie

[kareyquilts 1]

Sadie: Yes, there is grief for all time wasted and for the experiences missed. You are absolutely right on. Not only is their grief, but the realization that time is moving quickly and I no longer want to sit back and watch. I want to participate and enjoy. I have had a great life, but always, being over-weight has loomed in the background. I guess that is why, I want to see what I can be not only physically but mentally and emotionally. I just think that my mind is in hurry mode, hurry and get your body whipped into shape (by exercise, plastic surgery, etc), hurry and have some fun, hurry and re-invent your career once again, etc. Not only is there sadness for what could have been, but a realization that it's almost too late to change. I think that alot of people experience this, thin or fat. They don't have the weight thing, but still we all make choices and go down certain roads, based on our life experiences, whether that is a bad or good childhood, who we encounter that mentors or discourages, etc. I always wanted to go to law school, but I was a little afraid to apply and then I started having my family. When most of my children were in high school I took an LSAT class and decided I would apply for law school, then one of my sons started having some serious drug problems and I decided that I better not apply. That was 10 years ago. I am getting older now and my husband likes me to travel with him, etc. I'm trying to decide if I should give up on this dream (because now I feel in a place to try again) and try to find contentment. Life is like this. We can't do it all and everything has a price. I'm glad that I don't have to have all the self-loathing I felt with the extra 100 pounds I was carrying, but our lives are still one decision at a time. That is just how it is. Thanks for the insights!

[sadie11 2]

Karey- we all choose different paths early in life never knowing how it will all come out in the end, do we? I had a successful career that I enjoyed immensely but, like the T-shirt says, OMG I forgot to have kids! I regret that somewhat but worked with kids as a psychologist so that was good.

I know I could not have been that fabulous single mother with a great career and wonderful children. I never had that much energy or stamina.

I have had a wonderful partner for the last 10 years but by then it was really too late to start a family. I am truly fortunate to be loved and treasured.

Like the Robert Frost poem says, I took the path less traveled and that has made all the difference.

Love and success on your journey everyone.

Sadie

[kareyquilts 1]

Thanks for the well wishes. I started weight training again this week and it feels so good to be moving again. I wasn't sure if I was up to it or how my body would react after 2 months off, but it wasn't too bad. Just the normal soreness after a good workout. I've been using the elliptical for a couple weeks now and doing some restorative yoga. I'm amazed at how quickly the body heals from major trauma! So thankful that it does. My son was in a motorcycle accident this weekend and thankfully only broke a couple bones! He will be having surgery to plate his arm on Wednesday. I know he will be fine, too. His body will heal and hopefully he'll be more careful in the future! Scary stuff! Then next Sunday it's off to Mexico for a week for my daughter's wedding! Not sure how much I'll be able to check in this week. I wish everyone the best.

[at last 0]

Should I get professional help?

KareyQuilts, You are amazing and have great insight I believe. I know that if I am trying to fill a hole wheter it be with food or plastic surgery it will only get bigger and I will never fill it. So, I believe that I have to do the inside work so the outside work will be enough. Therapy to address everything you asked for feedback on would be the key, I believe. A professional that understands WLS/obesity is essential. You have grown and know so much, therapy would wrap it up for you then you could have whatever surgery you want for YOU and not to fill that black psyche hole. My thoughts are with you.

[Liz1531 3]

You look amazing! Congrats! I can't wait to be in your shoes one day! Thanks for being so brave to share with us!

[mary1966 3]

I have been following this thread with great interest. I also want to have a TT I think when I lose my weight. I have always had a pot belly and no waist even when I was 145 lbs and I'm just sick of it. It's my father's fault - I got his body!

I am a retired psychologist and since I don't have clients anymore I get to think about myself! It has occured to me that after losing my excess weight (and getting a TT maybe), I will probably go through an extended period of grief.

The grief will be for all the experiences I didn't get to have as a fat woman and all the pain that I went through over my life. Even though I have had a wonderful life, I believe I will grieve for the Lost Person I feel I could have been if I didn't have a weight problem that inhibited me so.

Being fat in America is a traumatic experience and I swear we all have post traumatic stress syndrome at least a little bit!

I feel like the impluse after the TT will be to correct all the other areas wrong with me but I know that even if I end up with a perfect body, I will never recover my Lost Person or the time lost.

I am already in mourning for all the energy I wasted dieting since I was 12. The talents I might have nutured with the energy spent counting calories and obessively exercising, etc, etc.

I am 58 now and I hope the next 20 years will be the best of my life. I hope that having a smaller body will be enough to please me (and wearing a bikini has never appealed to me anyway). My little TT will be enough (I hope).

Maybe some of this is part of what some of you may be going through. I am not even close to goal or a TT so this all may change when I get where you all are. But I thought you might be interested in my thoughts.

Love and success on your journey!

Sadie

Hi, Sadie! You said, "I believe I will grieve for the Lost Person I feel I could have been if I didn't have a weight problem that inhibited me so." This made me sad for you, and sad for me, because I know how that feels....BUT...I have made a conscious decision to LET IT GO and move on with what WILL be the best years of my life!! Sounds like you are on the right track - but don't dwell on the past. This is a hard, hard lesson to learn.

Keep smilin'!

Mary