Kareyquilts TT, BL, Lipo & BA

[kareyquilts 1]

BJean: I haven't seen the Ace of Cakes. I will have to look. We had a shocker last week with the wedding. We emailed a question about a microphone and got the reply that our wedding planner had quit and the Villa knew nothing about our wedding, not even the date! Please fill them in, so it can happen! Boy, was that a heart-attack moment. We have the entire Villa booked out except for 2 rooms, so I don't know how they didn't know! I quickly got out all my notes and contracts and the emails started flying! The wedding is going to be in Sayulita, Mexico, so we couldn't just go there and have it out. Anyway, I think we have all the details worked out, except for the cake and flowers. We had flown down there in November and had planned the entire thing, so, I was more than a little irritated. I guess you just have to have a sense of humor about these things. I told my daughter, as long as we can feed people and they can dance (important to my daughter who is a professional dancer), everything will just be fine. We'll probably get some good laughs out of it. If the flowers are perfect, etc., it will be all right.

Anyway, glad you're losing weight again. I do need to start on the upper body weights. I guess I'm giving myself permission to take a break until after the wedding (it's in 3 1/2 weeks). I'm into all the little details and I'm getting slightly overwhelmed. I am walking 3 miles a day now. I've gained 1 pound, hoping it's just swelling. Anyway, glad you can do the recumbant bike and I absolutely know that weight training made all the difference for me. Using the body bugg, I found that after 3 months of weight training, my resting metabolic rate had increased by 200 calories a day! That is really quite a lot. So keep up the good work!

[kareyquilts 1]

I'm wondering if any one out there that has had PS has experienced any of the feelings that I am going through lately? I really wonder if I need counseling or something. Of course, I am also getting ready for my DD's wedding, but I'm a little bit obessed by my looks and about aging. My plastic surgeon is going to do Juvaderm on the little lines around my mouth Monday. Thursday, I'm having Thermage to help with the sagging skin on my face and neck, from age and weight loss. I would like a face lift at some point, but my DH is against it. He thinks that I should accept my wrinkles and be happy with how I look. I feel like I have spent so many years being overweight and feeling unattractive that I want to look as good as I can. I not only want a face lift, but my arms done and possibly my thighs. I would like to feel more at peace with myself and how I look, but I keep thinking about the possiblities. I know that I can look better. On the other side, I so know that looks aren't that important. I don't know why I've become so vain at 53. I've always tried to take care of myself and look attractive, even when I was very heavy. Sometimes, I just feel like I have a big hole is in my psyche that I just can't fill it up. My husband tells me that I look fine, that I look good, but I want him to think that I'm drop dead hot! Probably an impossible goal. It's actually making me very unhappy. I know it's not rationale. I've always been a very service oriented person. Having sponsored immigrants, donated my time to many worthy causes and am thinking about a humantarian mission for our church. I feel guilty about being so self-centered, but I keep making appointments to have stuff done to myself. I would like to age gracefully, I totally understand what my husband is saying to me, but emotionally, I just can't accept this aging process very well. I'm not ready to give up or call it good. To make matters worse, I feel like my hormones have been out of whack since my TT. My ob/gyn says it's because of the fat removal on the stomach. I don't know, but I'm very emotional! Do you think things will level out or should I get some counseling, or is it all right to have all therse procedures done and just don't sweat it? I would love some feedback!

[losingjusme 12]

karey, i think its more common than we think ...

i am experiencing it somewhat myself... i thought i'd be perfectly happy with the gut gone, but now i just see more imperfections with every other part of my body (without the gut, i see the saggy horrible thighs)...

even if we could fix everything (im noticing more lines in my face as well, my arms look like bat wings, etc...) i think we'll always find something wrong. always some slight (or not so slight - in our own mind) imperfection.

we have to realize that not one person on this earth is perfect. from us here to the super models in the magazines (airbrush anyone???)

i dont think counseling would be a bad idea at all..

good luck.. **hugs**

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

Karey

I haven't even had my PS yet, and I have made mental notes of all the other things that will still be wrong after it. I worry about my arms, my thighs, my saggy neck, (you may not see it, but I do) and all some little line that has decided to make camp on my forehead. You are not alone.

I think maybe it is a bit obesessive on my part, but I feel like I did all the hard work to loose the weight, why don't I deserve to be 100% happy with me??

[kareyquilts 1]

BooBooKitty: Wow, your surgery is coming up fast! How exciting! You're going to love it! Can't wait to hear all about it!

[StephC 0]

Karey I think you have so much going on with your life right now, the wedding is a BIGGY - plus the whole hormone thing - I think it might be all of that. I wouldn't worry about this stuff until after you life calms down a bit. Then if you are still obsessing over things - yes - go get some counciling. You dont' want to end up looking like the catwomen. Seriously tho, dont' you think we all look at ourselves and thing alittle nip and tuck and I'd look better.

I'm like Boo - I havent' even had the tt yet and I'm thinking my thighs look fat and saggy - then I think who cares. My youngest dd said its not like you wear short shorts. Same thing with my boobs - I kinda wish I'd had talked to ps about having a lift during the tt but then dh says noooooooo I like 'em the way they are. Besides all that, we just dont' have the money to spend on these things and when you know its not an option then its easier to accept the way it is.

[TheGh0st 9]

I'm with you on this one as well Karey. The gut is gone and my tummy is looking great. But I keep obsessing about the scale, my thighs, my arms and am starting to notice those lines on my face as well. I know I can't afford all the surgeries necessary to fix all my issues and like you one minute I'm bereting myself for being so self centered and vain about it the next I'm trying to figure out how to rob the nearest bank to pay for it.

I've thought about counseling but I just don't see how they can help when they really don't know what we are going through. I feel like we just sound like a bunch of whiners to pretty much everyone else. I sure know that just a couple years ago if I heard someone complaining like we are I would have wanted to hit them up the side of the head with a baseball bat. I can remember being so jealous of people in our current position. I was convinced then that if I could only reach a size 14 I would be content and here I am at a size 10 winging on about lumpy thighs and batwings.

I use to use my monthly support group as my counseling but that doesn't even work too well anymore. Don't get me wrong I still love the support group and it is the highlight of my monthly schedule but most of them just can't help me with these issues as they are not here yet and it doesn't seem fair to go on about it in front of the newer members. There are 3 or 4 in the group that have lost more weight than I but I'm the only one that has gone forward with PS so far so they are still functioning under the assumption that it will solve all their head issues. I wish a few of us were closer so we could form our own little counseling support group.

[TheGh0st 9]

For all of you pre-plastic surgery posters and lurkers. Don't get us wrong I wouldn't take back my PS if you paid me a million dollars. Just because some of us are still obsessing about our looks post PS doesn't mean we aren't thrilled with the results so far.

It just hard to explain if you haven't been there. The best comparison I can come up with is to think of it like going on the best vacation you ever had then complaining it wasn't longer or that you didn't get to do enough. It doesn't mean you wish you hadn't gone just because you wish you could have stayed longer or done more.

[StephC 0]

Diane - you are so right in all you said - and I'm not tucked yet! But at one of our support groups we had the pysch there and it was at that point when I was finally in a size 12 and I was asking him do we EVER get to the point that we can look in the mirror and say YES! this is it, I'm happy with what I look like? Because I remember thinking like you "if I only get to a size 12 I'll be happy" but there I was and I wasnt' happy. He and some of the others (who have no idea where we are at) said most people arent' completely happy with the outside so you have to work on the inside. ... yeah you're thinking "SHUT UP!" Give me some real advice. I supose theres some truth in that but its not what I wanted to hear. I'm also like you in that I LOVE my monthly support group - I don't miss it - but no one else has gone as far as me. Theres just one woman ((((Shirley)))) who is getting a pannectolmy done this month too. So although we dont' have anyone to help us through this stuff at least those coming up will have us.

I love your comparison with the vaca. Makes total sense.

[TheGh0st 9]

Got to say the vaca comparison was a spur of the moment inspiration. And I'm lovin' it right now if I do say so myself. It makes me feel a little less like a horrible b!tc# for complaining, at least for right now. but I'm sure by tomorrow I'll be right back to feeling guilty for all my whinging.

[BJean 16]

Karey: You've been busy all your life doing things for others. Raising your children, looking after your husband's needs, your philanthropic missions, etc. Now you've turned 53 and you're realizing that life is rushing by at an unbelievable clip and you don't have a whole lot of time life to be well, HOT and SEXY and the exciting beautiful woman that you've always wanted to be. When's it going to happen if not now? You've worked very hard at losing weight. You've had some cosmetic procedures done and you see what some work can do for you. It feels good to take the bull by the horns and do some things that make you feel and look younger and more beautiful. And yes, beauty is skin deep and we know it, but that doesn't mean we should be happy with this aging process. It can be selfish to fight it if the family sacrifices for your choices, but you have sacrificed for them for years. It is your turn.

I am not suggesting that you pursue plastic surgery until you turn into catwoman or Michael Jackson, but a nip and tuck here and there and a little skin rejuvenation isn't being obsessive.

My suggestion is that you get a plan in place for what you feel you need. Focus on doing those things and continue to look at before and after pix. Have a goal date set for when those things will be accomplished, including the healing process. Then work toward that goal and when you reach it, get on with your life. Plan what you're going to do when those things are done. Stick with the before and after plan.

It is a good thing to take care of yourself and to have pride in your appearance. When you've gained a lot of weight over the years, your looks have taken a back seat to everything else. You've probably spent a lot of time avoiding mirrors and cameras. Well now that you've lost weight and your kids are grown, get back into enjoying being YOU! You don't have to be the most voluptuous woman on the planet, just a woman who is busy enjoying her life to the fullest extent. Make a plan. Go over the plan with your mate and get his support. And in fairness to him and yourself, stick to that plan and then go forward without so much thought devoted to your appearance. Just enjoy the fruits of your labor and seduce your man on a regular basis as a reward for his support. It'll be great!!

[salsa1877 10]

I haven't been nipped and tucked yet either, but I know that I am going to be in the same situation. I don't have the facial problems (yet) but I said going into being banded that if I could just get to a size 10 I would be happy and wouldn't care about PS. Now I'm still paying a HUGE amount on my Lap Band with an enormous interest rate and scraping my pennies to get the TT. NOW I am thinking about when I can get my boobs done and maybe my arms... But as so many people here have said, we have hid ourselves from the world and now that we finally feel like we have something to be proud of we want to have it look our best. Because my tummy is SOOOOOOOOO bad, when I see people I haven't in a while and they tell me I look fabulous I feel like their eyes drop right to my Jabba-the-Hut belly and that they start thinking (well she looks good except for that). Well once the belly is gone, then I am going to think that they are looking at my arms, and then figure that my boobs are bad. I think we all probably need counseling because body image is a HUGE part of this process. I agree that some people who are still in the weight loss process don't understand what we are going through, but this is a natural part of the journey, in my opinion. I hade one person say at the last in-person support group that I went to "I wish I had your problems" I answered back, "well I hope you never do have my problems." Don't let anyone tell you that what you are feeling is not important or realistic. I agree with BJean that as long as you don't end up looking like one of the Jackson 5, you are good. If you can afford it, and it helps make you feel better, than I don't think there is anything wrong with it. Now if you are taking out a second mortgage to satisfy your Botox habit, you may want to run, not walk, to a therapist. Until then you seem to be doing what a lot of women are doing at your age. Yours just happens to be done in a short period of time. You can recognize things in yourself that you were hiding with your weight.

We support you!

[Little Debbie 1]

Karey Quilts

You questioned whether it was obsessive to want to continue having work done. I, like you and many others on here have spent our youth’s fat, and we want to salvage as much of that time back as possible. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I was fat in my late twenties, my thirties, and fat in my forties. I missed a lot. Now that I have this chance to really lose the weight, I want to turn back the clock as much as possible. I want to erase what time has done to my body as much as possible, so that ten years from now I can look back and know I salvaged at least some of my dreams. And I don’t think we should be judged by how we look. Good or bad. Period. It’s our choice. We can choose to have PS or not. It’s OUR choice. I’ll never be in my 20’s or 30’s again, and I want the rest of my life to make up for what I was cheated out of in my younger years. So after I lose my weight I will be looking into PS. Especially after seeing your after PS pics. You look really great and now I know (hopfuly) I can too. :rolleyes2:

[Shalee04 7]

Karey:

I am not suggesting that you pursue plastic surgery until you turn into catwoman or Michael Jackson, but a nip and tuck here and there and a little skin rejuvenation isn't being obsessive.

!

Michael Jackson, he's dreamy:drool:.Don't you just love that little nose:scared2:

[kareyquilts 1]

Wow! Thank you for the support and advice! I feel understood. Maybe I'm not crazy. BJean, you're idea to have a plan is right on. I'm going to have a long talk with DH because I do want to have other procedures. I had a long talk with PS today, while he did the Botox and Juvederm. He thinks that I need to have a back side lift (not really a lower body lift because the front is already done), so it's a butt lift and outer thigh lift. He's always said it was to be several procedures. I want to have my arms done. We talked about a face lift. I saw one of his face lifts in the office and she looked fantastic. I'm thinking that maybe I'll cancel the Thermage. I'm bruised and swollen from the Juvederm today. I'm also plain worn out from everything I'm doing right now. I'm thinking that the $2,300 I would spend on Thermage should go into a facelift fund. It's just so tempting to get the instant gratification and get this crepey neck gone for a little while. I do feel like time is passing me by and if not now, when? Soon it will be too late! I guess I'm taking this aging thing hard. That's what my mom says. For the last 20 years, I have felt like a second class citizen. For once, I do want to feel hot. Even if I'm just a hot Grandma! I want my husband to desire me, no lust for me! Silly, huh? The down side to all of this, is that not only is it expensive, but it's painful and it disrupts your life. I'm only beginning to start exercising again. I'm still very tired. I'm not recovered. I'm emotional, etc. I think that figuring out and prioritizing what I want done and when is essential. I'm so thankful for this forum and for all of you. I feel from your responses that I'm understood and really there is no one I can talk to about this, because I don't want to sound like a spoiled brat or make my friends feel bad, etc. Thanks again!