Kareyquilts TT, BL, Lipo & BA

[TheGh0st 9]

Shoot, I got cheated. I tell you cheated. My husband helped wrap me up like a mummy before I showered if I asked and he'd help me get my compression wraps back on afterwards when I shouted I was done. But he never helped me in the shower. I just had to stand there with my head leaning forward against the wall of the shower to help keep me from getting to woozy before I got out again.

[HarleyNana 10]

Showering with drains was my worst experience with my TT & BL/redu, my drains came out on my 1 week post op visit.

It's been almost two months for me and I still have a little Fluid in the belly, I can tell at night when I'm on my side, then flip to the other. The girls are losing size not quite the overflowing DD now.

Hope you get your drains out soon Karey, it will make such a difference with the way you feel and move around.

LJM, thanks for sharing the pictures, you've been through a lot! Can you tell a big difference from day to day or week to week with the amount of swelling you're losing?

[losingjusme 12]

Harley,

i've been pretty good with having DH take pics, i just havent had the energy to really compare..

the good news is that my new garment is really helping with the swelling!!

bad news is i think im allergic to the fabric and its making me really red around the incision line. i am wearing a t shirt under it today so hopefully that will help.

i find the more active i am the more swollen i get, but it goes away over night. i am sleeping pretty much on my sides now, sometimes my back, but its just so difficult to stay on my back. i know its not great for swelling to be on my side... so i try at least.

[HarleyNana 10]

LJM, try wearing cotton undies under the garment, it reallllly helps.

[losingjusme 12]

but then i have to take the garment off to tinkle ... :tongue:

i've been wearing a 'wife beater' t shirt under it and that seems to help a bit... undies over the garment (has a hole from front to rear so i dont have to maneuver out of this contraption to go)...

[kareyquilts 1]

Okay, I really need to vent! I have a friend who up until my lapband surgery was my very best friend. We have been friends for over 20 years! Her husband and mine went on fishing trips together, we went on trips together and out to dinner most weekends. She didn't want me to get the lapband and has been off and on again about our friendship ever since. When I first got the lapband, she lost 40 pounds (which she has since put back on). Recently, she has been friendly again and even offered to give my daughter a bridal shower in April. I wasn't going to tell her about my surgery, but my DH said she would probably find out and feel bad that I didn't tell her. Anyway, I told her about the surgery, she asked a few questions and then pretty much our dinner date was abrutly over. Okay, I thought, give her some time (even though it hurt my feelings). Well, she never called after my surgery to see how I was doing and my husband talked to her husband last week and told him I was having a rough time of it. I never heard from her. Well today, she called and asked how I was doing and if she could do anything. I said, all I really needed was for my best friend to show a little interest and care if I was a live or dead. She said, "Don't make me feel guilty. To be honest, I forgot about your little surgery. You weren't even on my radar screen!" Is that suppose to make me feel better? When she had Lipo years ago, I wheeled her around the mall in a wheel chair, just to get her out of her house. When her children (who are mostly adult) have even had surgery, I've been there with flowers and support. Every time she's needed something, I've tried to be there. Later today, she showed up with some rolls and bath stuff. She was very defensive and I wasn't much better. I've just had it with her. Am I over reacting? I just feel so angry with her. I don't think I'm being reasonable. I don't think it's the drugs making me feel this way, but I just don't want to be her friend anymore. When she came, she saw my breasts, which I hadn't told her I was having done and she made a very snide comment about it. I feel like canceling the wedding shower, but I should probably calm down and not do that to my daughter. I really feel hurt. I'm going to take some deep breaths and try and think about the many other blessing I have in my life. I really don't know if this friendship can be saved! What do you think?

[juliegeraci 7]

Karey, it sounds like your friend maybe dealing with some internal stuff herself. My best friend and I didn't talk for 8 months last year and now things are so much better. I would give her some time to come around. Not sure about the bridal shower. If you cancel it may be the end of your friendship for sure. You look great. She may be a little jealous as well.

[Kristin07 0]

It sounds like a jealousy issue to me. And someone who cant be happy for you and is jealous isnt a true friend. Thats just my opinion. You should try to ask her what her problem is and why she has been acting the way she has. But I really think shes unhappy because you are skinny now... and u know how misery lovers company! LoL

[StephC 0]

Karey - I'm sorry to hear about the friend. I also have a friend who I love dearly, we've been best friends for 20 years too, but I didn't tell her about my band until afterwards and I haven't told her about the Tummy Tuck. With us its just that she's skinny, always has been and I've been the fat one so I'm very uncomfortable talking weight with her, although some of our best conversations are when we are out walking. I think you are justified in your feelings and I think you should leave things be about the shower. Its not you she's doing it for its for your daughter. I also know that when my bf and I have had our fights, over 20 years you know your bound to have disagreements, when we've fought about stupid things our best thing is to just take a breather from each other for a few weeks and then one of us will call to get together and its over. We just kind of agree to disagree about certain things.

[StephC 0]

I disagree with Kristen, when my sister had her Tummy Tuck I was JEALOUS!!! Green with envy! and yet I couldn't wait to see her (she live 1000 miles from me) and just because someone is jealous doesnt' mean they don't want the best for you. I think she probably is jealous but that doesn't mean she won't get over it. Just give her time.

[I'm still here 0]

Karey - I am going to reply to you longer later, as I have to leave my house right now, but I just wanted to tell you that I have a very similar thing happening in my world right now and it really hurts my feelings, so NO! I totally do not think you are over-reacting.

[losingjusme 12]

Karey,

i am so sorry you are going through this. this is not an easy journey to begin with and having this stress is not helping matters.

you can try and give it time and just concentrate on your DDs wedding (even with the shower planned by your friend)... you have enough to do. be friendly, but maybe dont make the initial contact. if she calls, great, maybe do coffee or movie or something... take a few weeks / months apart. i think she is really quite jealous (especially after the snide comment about your new girls) and may just need to cool off..

but ....

I think she probably is jealous but that doesn't mean she won't get over it. Just give her time.

she has been this way since she's been banded... im concerned that it means the friendship has changed dynamics and may not be as close as it once was ... :thumbup: but you never knokw what time will tell

im so sorry you are going thru this.

C

[I'm still here 0]

Karey - after reading some of the other responses, it occured to me that maybe I should not comment on this because like I said earlier, I am in the same situation and my feelings are HURT . . .

With my friend - there is NO way she is jealous. She is like a size 000 and doesn't weigh 90 pounds soaking wet! So, what the heck???

She appeared to be supportive before the surgery, heck - my 9 year-old even spent the night before my TT at her house b/c we had to be at the hospital so early. Then - she never called to check on me . . . (My son and her son are best friends.)

So - fast forward almost 3 weeks - I took my son to the movie on Sunday afternoon and he wanted to invite her son. At first I said, 'no' b/c I was being ugly and then I realized that was uncalled for. So, my son called and her son wanted to go.

I pull up to their house to pick him up and she walks outside (almost 3 weeks after my surgery! - Oops, I already said that) and she said "So, did you think I forgot about you? I've been really busy . . . " WHAT THE HECK !!!

I sucked it up and said, "Oh no, I know you are busy (she teaches 2nd grade) , don't worry about it." So, apparently - she didn't . . . She proceeded to fill me in on the last 3 weeks without realizing we were going to be late for the movie!

The only thing I can think of is maybe she is jealous that other friends were so willing to help me out (others drove me to the doctor.) Maybe she thinks I should have done something else with the money - ??? Who knows?

What I do know is when she has needed me - I've been there, everytime. That is the kind of friend I am and I don't understand any other way.

But - the flip side is she is one friend. I am blessed that I have so many other wonderful friends and I don't need to keep thinking about this. Honestly, it is not the first time she has hurt my feelings without explanation.

Karey - maybe just give your friend some 'time' and see what happens. I don't know - I just know that I understand how you feel and it does hurt.

[TexasT 0]

Karey, I too am sorry to hear of your friend. I am not where you are, but about 12 years ago a gal I had been friends with since college apparently decided she didn't want to be friends with me anymore because at that particular time I had just lost 40 pounds. I got an email from her telling me that she didn't want to be friends any more. Talk about being HURT. I was stunned that someone I had considered a friend would feel that way. There has not been a year go by that I haven't wondered about her and her family. Maybe some day I will try to track her down and see if she still feels that way. Shoot if she had just stuck around a while longer the weight came right back on, but then I guess we'd be going down the same road now.

It's hard to understand how people that you consider friends for years end up not being there when you need them. It's even harder to understand that same thing from family. The main thing to remember is REAL friends will always be there and always support you and the best friend of all is always there walking with you and carrying you when you can't make the walk. Remember the footprints.

Ty

[kareyquilts 1]

Thanks for the input from everyone. Mommi-hammi: I think that some people are givers and some are takers. Maybe your friend hasn't had any kind of experience with illness, etc and doesn't know what is needed OR maybe she is just a fair weather friend. I know it hurts. I'm not going to tell my friend never mind on the wedding shower because it is about my daughter and not me. I can be a surface friend and play by those rules as long as I know that is what I am to her. I'm not going to call her to give myself some time to cool off, because the more I think about it, the angyrier I get. I wouldn't treat a stranger they way she treated me today. When she left she said, "You know you're not the only one with a life!" And slammed the door behind her. I just don't get it. I know she is struggling with her own feelings of inadaquency but I just don't know if I want to deal with it anymore. Time, I guess.