Did you tell people about your band???

[Braedensmom 0]

Hi all! I'm just wondering how you all handled telling people about the band? Did you tell everyone? What do you say when they notice your weight loss? Just "thanks".

I don't think I ever want to tell my inlaws...I don't think they'll understand. The family has never had any sort of weight issue. But then...why not just be honest with them? Maybe we'll wait until after the band is in place and then they can just deal with it...if they ever have to at all anyway.

Anyhow, just curious. Thanks!:biggrin:

[betrthnever 107]

I've told almost everyone and I'm not even banded yet! This Tuesday, 2/19 is my date. Actually, I started off telling everyone that I was going to get banded because I was thrilled and then I came to regret it if only because it seems people want explanations. They ask lots of questions...of course we don't have to tell them anything beyond what we want to but by telling it opens up the box. And then they tell you how they feel about gastric surgery. I don't CARE how they feel about it. I suppose there are people out there who are banded and/or have the RNY and (like Star Jones) don't talk about how they are losing weight. So now there are people out there who know and are judging me, sizing me up and wondering if I'm going to fail. Sounds paranoid, I know. Most that I know are really supporting me. But the stigma is there - I've had the "going about it the easy way" comments that are just blah. If you don't have that relationship with your in-laws then don't tell them. Its really about what you are comfortable with. :-)

[Susan3343 0]

Hi. I will just share my experience with you but in the end it is your own decision and what you are comfortable with. I had my lap band in May 2007. It has been great and I love it however I shared with everyone thinking that everyone would be happy for me and encouraging. Most are but there are still those people who continue to ask me each time I speak to them, how much have you lost now? Over the holidays I needed a fill but was traveling a lot for work and didnt get one. Didnt really eat poorly but wasnt getting enough exercise in, late meals and so on so it was a lot of pressure for them to continue to ask me that question. I have learned that when asked "how are you doing or how is it going" to simply reply I am doing good and feel great. Because at the end of the day its not really how much I have lost that counts but how I feel. I feel much better about myself along with being healthier and just so much happier. I wish you well in your journey.

Susan

[Bozzj 0]

i'm in the learning/consult process...and i will not tell anyone except people i really trust (i.e husband, parents, brother, my fav aunt and grandparents). that's all on one side of my family..the other will judge me. my in laws aren't the nicest so i'll never tell them.

reality is you'll have to diet and excercise to be successful so that's what i plan to say.

[Iluvharleys 15]

I didn't tell anyone except my immediate family. I feel more comfortable without all the people asking me all the time how I am doing. If they just think you are dieting, they don't keep questioning you, they just ask how did you lose so much weight?

[dgnlp3022 0]

I'm in the "need-to-know" category. I've failed so many times losing and regaining+plus that I'm still worried this will be the same. my surgery is Feb. 20th and I've told immediate family and close friends. only a few know at work because I don't want the 20 questions every day! my support will come from family, friends, and forum! that's why I'm here now.

:biggrin:

[Cota129 0]

I told the people that needed to know, primarily my family and my boss. When I am asked about my weight loss and how I'm doing it, my answer is watching what I eat, exercise and determination. It's true!!

[olgi330 0]

I don't plan to tell anyone but immediate family. It's no one's business & why expose myself to all the extra judgement...

[nurse97 0]

Hi wanted to let you know I had that delima also, my in-laws were all very skinny, but I ended up telling them. They really didn't comment much to me or my face. I have lost 20 lbs so far, none of them have really commented on it either. Of course they keep asking me how much I have lost. That seems to be the question of people who know, is everyday How much have you lost? Some you want to tell others you just want them to notice. I live in a small town, so it doesn't take long for word to get out. Good luck! You will do great! Don't worry about in-laws. Be proud of every pound you lose.

[TerMur 0]

It was nice reading everyone posts. My experence was I told some friend and family and everyone is negative about it. I really wish I had never said anything. I am due to be banded in a few days and it is almost depressing because there is no support. If I had it to do over again I would of kept my mouth shut. It is hard to go it alone with so much judgement.

[AUSSIECHIK 0]

just do wat makes u happy.. tell them dont tell them.. either way its ur choice...

[Braedensmom 0]

Thank you all for sharing your stories with me. It's nice to hear what has happened. In an ideal world people would understand how great this is...and it still requires us to diet and exercise. I think I will keep it with jus the people I've told...my hubby, best friend and my parents. We'll see who else I decide to tell later.

TerMer...my heart just breaks to hear that you don't have all the support you need right now! Good luck to you! You're doing a great thing!!! For me, even coming to the decision to do this was a big deal, you know? Way to go!

[Sarah.R 2]

Im not scheduled for sugery yet but so far my mother is the only one in my family who knows as she comes to all my appointments with me ( i got to the hospital alot) when i am eventually scheduled for surgery the day before i start the liquid diet i plan on going out to dinner (the last good meal i guess you could call it) with my sisters and telling them, i'll also tell my father but apart from that i wont be telling anyone, not even my closest friends, i know alot of people i know will be very judgemental so thats one of the main reasons i wont be telling them as for what i'll say when they say how did you loose so much weight? Well I'm on steroids for my lungs and i went off them last week but i'll just say "well i finished my steroids (as most people that dont go to the hospital alot dont know they make you put on weight) and i'll say ive just started excercising andw atching what i eat, they have no right to know what i do in my personal life and if i choose to eventually tell them then i will but until that day they dont need to know cr**

[Fairysaddle 0]

I screwed the whole thing up, and put myself in a tough position.

I had to tell those nearest and dearest to me, because I have two young children and I needed them for child care. Well, my Mom and my husband both "didn't realize I wasn't telling people", even though I very clearly asked them not to.

Most annoying is that my husband called his parents - who live 6 hours away - and told them I was in the hospital. But, since I asked him not to tell anyone, he didn't tell them why I was there. Aigh!!! They sent me a pretty little angel pin, and I had to figure out how to thank them without spilling the Beans. It isn't even like they talk to each other all that often. He had to have called them up to specifically tell them. :cheers2:

Oh, and my Mom told a distant relative who lives 900 miles away, after I had asked her not to, because "they live so far away, what does it matter?" Well, why do they have to know then? Now they'll tell a few people, and they'll tell a few people, and they'll ask my aunts and uncles how I'm doing, and.....

So now I don't know who knows and who doesn't know. Or who knows, but has been told that I don't want them to know, so they won't say anything to me but they'll know when I'm evading questions.

Moral of the story, if you want/have to tell some people about it, make SURE they know not to tell anyone else.

My family loves me, and I love them. They are proud and supportive of me, and they just don't "get it" that not everyone is going to feel that way. I guess I can't be too mad at them. Aside from this, they've all been wonderful.

[tinaf 0]

I was so glad to see this discussion thread.

I am struggling with this now. I was banded on Feb 5 - but only a select few people know what my surgery ACTUALLY consisted of. This was a HUGE issue with me. I only told our office manager at work and then my friends at work that I eat lunch with (didn't want them to think I was snubbing them all of a sudden). I only told in-laws and other family members AFTER the fact and then told them that I didn't really want to talk about it - and explained that I felt it was a personal thing for me. I haven't told my boss - he thinks I had gallbladder surgery. I felt horrible about my "fib" but I don't want 20 questions from everyone asking about my progress, watching what I eat, etc.--and believe me - people at work and even my "friends" would do this. It's a funny thing - it's something I wanted to do for myself - and I just feel like NOT EVERYONE needs to be a part of that. ---I guess part of the reason I havne't told EVERYONE too is that, in all honesty, they have, at one time or another made me feel bad about my weight-- I guess I didn't want them to think "they won" or something - I don't know. It's something I struggle with daily - especially because there are times when I just want to TALK about it.

Bottom line for me - it's my body, my business-- who I decide to tell is totally my decision and shouldn't need to be justified.