Did you tell people about your band???

[hairyday 0]

Hi,

I've just decided to tell only my husband and daughter. I feel if i tell anyone else i would feel like i would have to justify and explain my decission, and when i finally get my surgery i will be dealing with so many changes i don't want to deal with judgements.

[Kat817 19]

I have told anyone and everyone--it has been an open discussion from the day I first stumbled upon the surgery. I have had 1 negative reaction from a very judgemental friend who 9 months pregnant weighed a whopping 123 pounds--and told you that at least once a month!!!!

Back about 2-3 years ago, a friend (also heavy) and I were shopping when we ran into a friend of hers, who used to be quite heavy as well, and she had lost a tremendous amount of weight. Of course she ask her how---and she gave us the line about moving more and eating less. I cannot tell you how defeated I felt! I had dieted through the years, and was serious about it, I would count calories, and points, and work my butt off exercising---and I could not do it! I was so depressed, I just felt like a total loser, others could lose weight---but I couldn't!

When I was on the site here prior to banding, and this question come up---and the first person to reccomment the "Moving More, Eating Less" line--the lightbulb went off!!! In the end we found out she had actually had the DS surgery done, and has had serious complications----and is quite unwell.

I told myself I would NEVER if I could help it make someone feel the way I did that day-----like a lesser person. I DID have help losing this weight! The band did not do it without me.....but I did not do it without the band either----I tried for lots of years.

I understand why not telling is easier, and preferable in many cases. I just couldn't do it! Besides if ANYONE knows, there is a chance of it coming out----and then you have to remember who does and who does not know---------too much work for my old brain!!!! You cannot tell your family care Dr.....if you think the office staff does not gossip----think again! HR at work, if you use insurance.....it would be a really hard secret to keep in some instances...living in a small town like I do!

Oh! And I was told if you still have your Gall Bladder to never use that as an excuse, because there is a HIGH percentage of bandsters who lose their gall bladder in the first few years after banding!!! If it really needs to come out later, you can't have suddenly grown another!! LOL!

It is a very personal decision, and everyone has their reasons they did or did not tell....I think a very relevent question to follow up with would be to the long term bandsters who chose not to tell, to find out how many managed to keep it under wraps....

Kat

[Hazel-eyes 0]

The only person that knows about my upcoming surgery is my husband. We both decided that this was a medical decsion that is private and does not need to be under the microscope of others. I sometimes feel bad not telling my parents & sister, but I feel like I don't want any negative opinions changing my mind before surgery. Unless you are really educated on the lap-band, then you have no idea. I trust myself that I am educated enough to make my own decision. I may tell them down the road someday but right now I do not want any negative vibes. I tend to be more of a private person anyway so this is the best decision for me. Good luck!

[glynda 0]

I of course told my husband. Even though I have two small children, my husband and I stated we were going on vacation to Mexico. My family does not know. I have three friends and one co-worker that knows. I had to tell my co-worker because she was the one I use to go to lunch with daily. Now that I am on liquids, she was wondering what was wrong. She knew I had spent time on lapbandtalk.com, so she figured it out. After I told her, I felt regret. She started saying things in the office, in front of others... I need to get the lapband surgery...well I guess I will just do slim fast....Loosing weight is not that serious. So I am looking at her thinking "what are you doing?". I am not sure how to tell my mother, n-laws and especially my sister. I think my mom will be cool, but my sister and dad :smile:. My husband said he would be willing to tell my n-laws, which is great for me. I know she knew something was up when I did not eat any of the chicken, Soup and salad she had prepared (only on Clear Liquids now). My husband has often asked me what will I tell poeple when I start loosing weight and I have not decided yet...that is a good question....R others telling everyone they meet or just people they know...what.....:tongue2:

[Lana24 10]

For years I tried to hide the misery and the shame, now I finally have something to be excited about... I will tell whom ever asks.

[citygirl4616 2]

I only told my immediate family, who are all very supportive. I didn't want to tell any more people than that, because I didn't want the rest of the world watching me under a microscope. In other words...examining everything I eat in a restaurant, watching what I put in my grocery cart, seeing how much I workout, asking how much weight I lost this week, and so on. Then again, I am a pretty private person to begin with, so I am not one to share much personal information anyway. It all depends on your individual level of comfort.