Did you tell people about your band???

[forjulianna 0]

I think it's important that you tell those closet to you prior to doing the surgery.....you need their support!! My boss and two other co-workers were all who knew about it (other than a few select immediate family members). I returned to work after an extended weekend of what most thought was Rest & Relaxation. My boss and close co-workers helped me through the first few weeks after surgery. I eventually came out and I am quit proud that I had it done. I am not ashamed and few skinny people realize the impact of being overweight, so why do I care what they think about me now?? I think you have to mentally be at a point of being proud in taking such a drastic measure to change your life in doing the LapBand. There is nothing easy about the Lapband, I will admit I've had to defend myself against critics who have no clue what it entails. So stand up LapBanders and be proud of what you've done. You're life will never be the same!!

[Chi Chi 0]

I am so happy someone asked this question. This was something I struggled with when I decided to do the lapband. I took my mom to the initial seminar and swore her to secrecy. She didn't agree with going this route, she has struggled with weight almost her entire life, but she was trying to lose weight without "aids". However, she was supportive of me. She wanted to make sure this was the right decision for me and that I wasn't being impulsive in the decision.

Well, as we all come to realize, there is nothing impulsive about this decision. The "process" was about 9 months long for me, the meetings, the appointments, the nutrition and trainer appointments, the psych eval...it took a long time to get here and it wasn't a quick decision. She realized that over time. She was the only one who knew for months. Initially, I didn't even tell my husband about this, I didn't want him to influence me either way. Eventually I told my dad and that was it until I got my final consult date. Then I told my husband. He was very supportive and continues to be during my post-op period - which hasn't been easy. I knew I was going to need support from my family as the recover was going to be challenging for me. It was at that time that I needed his support. :biggrin:

For me, the fewer people who knew the better until I felt like I was making progess in the process. Now, my boss knows. And a couple women at work who had the lapband done a few years ago know and have been very helpful.

I had the band done on 2/13/08 - a week out and just started on soft solids. I don't feel like it is anyone's business, but mine, and those I choose to tell. This is a diet, just like any other diet, and all I need to tell people, when and if they ask is that I watch what I eat, exercise and try to take better care of myself. This is a personal choice for everyone, I chose to keep this decision close to me for a while. This was about me and my health and I had to make sure it was the right decision for me before everyone else put their two-cents worth in.:biggrin2:

Good luck:teeth_smile:

[MissEliza 0]

My banding was a family affair. My sister had been banded in March of 2007 and after some scary news from a spine surgeon, we decided I needed to do this.

I told my immediate family first, then his parent (I was nervous about that, but they were great and only wanted the best for me, I have the best in-laws) and then I told my boss. I held off on telling anyone else until it was a done deal and I had my surgery date. Once I had that I began telling those who I knew would be supportive. My theory, only tell those who will be supportive and those who you will be around a lot incase something happens. I told my cubicle mate so if anything happened to me while at work, she would be able to direct assistance.

Slowly others have been finding out. I don't lie and say "just diet and exercise" as one woman did to my sister. Instead, I tell them, "I was banded and I am very careful of what I eat and exercise when I can."

Everyone has a lot of questions and I answer each one with facts and information. I found that to be the key - being prearpred to answer every question anyone could pose to me.

However, the bottom line is this... you are in control of who you tell or don't tell. Some feel like telling everyone will hep them while others perfer to keep it a secret. You need to decide which will work for you.

Good Luck!!

[Blund 0]

I'm waiting for approval from my insurance, but I have only told 1 friend that I'm "looking into it." My DH knows that I want to do this and is supportive, but also just doesn't get why I can't lose it. His family is thin like some of you have posted, and I would expect negative comments from them. My good friend is also heavy, but is skepticle about the surgery. I'm not going to tell anyone else at this point, and I don't know about after surgery. My in-laws are close by, so it may be difficult to hide it from them....but they are losing their memories!!! lol! I also have 3 small children, but my DH works from home and is prepared to pitch in with them. In reading these posts, there seem to be a lot of reasons NOT to tell everybody. We don't socialize much (we just moved here 2 yrs ago) so I doubt I'll have much of a problem with it. I'll just see what happens after recovery....

[reneem 0]

Hello there! The only person that knows about my band is my super supportive husband. I felt so bad about not telling my mom, as we share everything. But, I had a feeling she would be against it. Especially since I had to pay everything out of pocket. =0( My family is starting to see that I'm losing weight and are so tickled. My uncle asks me how I'm doing it...I tell him that I'm off of most of my medicines now (which I am) and I drink a lot more Water and watch what I eat! I didn't lie one bit! I doubt I'll tell anyone unless I absolutely have to =0) It's just something I want to keep to myself....and my husband. Thanks for reading!

[susanjennings25 0]

I waited until it was closer to my surgery date to tell some people. I wanted people to know why I wasnt going to be at work for 4 weeks. I hate rumors and gossip and didnt want people to come to other conclusions during my absence.

I told people that I trusted and knew would pray for me and encourage me well in advance. I sent a mass email explaining the surgery and why I decided to get the surgery. Once people understand your health problems they understand why you would choose this drastic measure. People are more judgemental when they think you are doing it for cosmetic reasons only.

I had some questions from family that weren't aware of my health issues and do not have email. You have to know that you are making the right choice without regrets and apologies in order to face these questions. I know that if I didn't have the surgery I would never have children, would soon be diabetic and would most likely die in the next five years. That revelation alone gave me the confidence to explain my decision and answer the tough questions. Just make sure you ask yourself the tough questions first, or you just aren't ready for this.

[hopeinapril 1]

Hello!

Obviously it is your decision. I am telling only 2 people. My ex (who will have to help take care of our son) and one of my good friends. Otherwise I am not telling anyone. I know I can trust these two people not to say anything. I frankly just don't feel like it is anyone else's business.

As far as work is concerned, you don't have to tell them anything. The new HIPPA laws indicate that they merely need a doctor's note. Since I work at a law firm, they are all too aware of this law and wouldn't dare to ask me why I will be out. I plan to be out of work only 7-10 days.

I was judgmental about people who had WLS before I started looking into it. Now I am aware that it isn't "the easy way out". But, I don't feel like it is my job to educate everyone else.

There are plenty of ways around the various challenges. I've seen plenty of suggestions here on how to deal with them.

In any event, it is up to you to decide how you want to deal with it. Obviously, there are people here who run the spectrum of how they will deal with it. Good luck with your decision.

[bandster_1007 1]

i told everyone.

and i regret it daily.

they put you under a microscope..and then you have days where someone walks up to you and says, "my neighbor had that same surgery as you at around the same time, and he died this weekend".

...i don't want to know..and stop looking at me.

(of course if i were real successful, i would probably feel different, but i am a little slow).

[bandster_1007 1]

i told everyone.

and i regret it daily.

they put you under a microscope..and then you have days where someone walks up to you and says, "my neighbor had that same surgery as you at around the same time, and he died this weekend".

...i don't want to know..and stop looking at me.

(of course if i were real successful, i would probably feel different, but i am a little slow).

[heartfire 4]

I'm just starting the process of looking into the surgery so I don't have any experience with what happens after but I will tell you what I'm planning and why.

I'm not telling hardly anyone. My mom knows I'm looking into it as she has had GB surgery. My husband knows and I'm planning on telling a good friend of mine partly b/c I'll need her to watch my 20 month old while I'm at the seminar.

I don't know that I'm going to tell anyone else, including my sister [who also had GB surgery, I don't want to "hear it" from her husband], in-laws and extended family. I love my in-laws and I'm pretty sure they'd be supportive but I had told my mom-in-law something private a few years ago and specifically asked her to not say anything to anyone and a few weeks later I get an e-mail from her best friend regarding the very topic I'd asked her not to talk about!

My other reason for not telling anyone is that I did weight watchers and was pretty open about it and constantly had people asking me how much I'd lost, could I eat that and so on. I felt constantly under the microscope and I don't want to go through that again. From what I'm gathering you can steadily lose a few pounds a week so it's not like GB where you drop 60lbs a month. I plan on saying that I'm just working hard at it and it seems to be paying off. I'm not a recluse but really don't see many people that often so I'm hoping it will be somewhat simple to keep things on basic information only level.

One thing that will be hard if I go through this is that we go out to eat often. So often that at a couple of places it's like walking into "Cheers" for us! At one place the waitresses take our daughter [20 mnths] into the kitchen to say hi to the cooks! Of course that is part of the problem, our eating out so much. We are getting better about eating at home more.

Anyway, just wanted to jump in and let you know what I was going to do about telling people. Best wishes in your journey.

[Penelope 0]

I told a few people and I am so sorry I did. People flat out to my face told me how stupid I was. "Why can't you just diet and exercise" Yeah, right! I have what I thought were very good friends and even some family who are so green with envy. One friend told me my husband told her husband that he is against the surgery - which is the polar opposite from what he tells me, and she warned me not to say anything to him because he would know that her husband betrayed a confidence. When she told me that I knew she was lying. And of course I asked my husband and he says what he said was that he didn't like surgery of any kind. Him, Himself (who just had his first surgery last july for prostate cancer) Yup, he doesn't like surgery became He didn't want me to have surgery. My niece keeps saying things like "Are you sure you want to do this?" and "I don't see how you are going to be able to stop eating" She and I for years have dieted together, attending weight watchers and eating out once a week and generally supporting each other. I think what it comes down to is that when you tell someone about something like this, they feel they have the right to butt in. I'm so sorry I ever told anyone. Period! Thanks for letting me rant!

Penny

[fur365 0]

tell them the secret is in the sauce.people dont seem to question me after that.

[Penelope 0]

Good one! I think my niece feels like I'm quitting on her but after four years and not much to show for it I think we aren't really supporting each other, but rather we are enabling each other. I'm sure after surgery she will be supportive. Well, anyway - I hope she is!

[odamay 4]

Ive had the same problem. The only people that new I was gonna have the surgery was my Husband and kids. This was a big decision for me I felt I couldn't tell my parents and my sisters or not that I couldn't Just that I thought they wouldn't get it. and it was about me not them I already had my mind made up.and didn't want anyone watching my every move and what if i didn't loose enough. well anyway it was bothering me that I didn't tell them so the night before the operation I called them one by one and told them, and explained I didn't want anyone to no Its up to me to tell them if i wanted to. when I'm ready. They took offense that I didn't tell them. got kinda mad at me. and the best part they all told everyone they new so every time I run into someone they talked to I find out cause I'm hit with 20 questions.

[txkrause 0]

I told my immediate family and asked them not to tell as I considered it a private thing. I have not told anyone at work. I say I am on a "Dr supervised diet" which is the truth. It has worked for me. It is a very private issue and I do not believe you have to tell anyone you are not comfortable with. Just don't lie because that isn't right either. It is possible! Good luck!