Knock Knock.. (5 month post-op)

[Bloo 0]

Hey guys! missed you a lot! Gosh our own forum!! woohoo :thumbup:

I haven't posted in 2 months but I do read your posts regularly..

I have been having mood swings lately, took some St. John's Wort, felt a bit better but it didn't last long..

My weight the day I had surgery was 293 lb, NOW?? it's 260 lb! total loss: 33 lb! Not impressive and it is MY MISTAKE! :mad:

I did NOT stick to diet! I eat half a jar of chocolate spread (Nutella) everyday :eek:, I am addicted! And I pretty much eat everything pre-op and in big portions too, except for carbonated drinks! I passed by Krispy Creme the other day and bought a dozen of assorted doughnuts, ate 3 and ended up feeling bloated and gaining weight the day after!

Guys I came to a conclusion that I am eating crap to fill the void! I eat from loneliness.. But I have been lonely all my life and its not an excuse.. I am my own worst enemy! I feel guilty and careless and ugly! :crying:

The more I eat the more I get depressed and keep eating! I mean how many Nutella jars does it take to fill my @!#$@# void! It is just pathetic..

I lost ONE lb in two months that says a lot about my eating! I feel it is another failed diet! I had a 5 cc fill two weeks ago, usually the doctor put me on liquid diet after filling, well, Bloo cannot handle a week on liquid diet anymore! took me a day and a half and I am back on eating solid again! I mean I was on liquid for 45 days post-op! What happened? :thumbup:

After a fill I feel restricted for a day or two then I feel tight only in morning. Yesterday I sipped on orange juice and felt sick and threw up!! Since I got banded I vomited 3 times! I was scared of slippage but had fluoroscopic exam (which I have every time I get a fill) and everything was good.

Now I need support support support! And I like the idea of fellow Sept. '07 bandsters gathering here challenging and discussing stuff. So I will challenge myself again and hopefully it will work this time if we support one another! :thumbup:

xoxoxoxo

[Bunny 0]

Bloo, this is my first time ever posting. Your post caused me to register. I can relate to a lot of what you are talking about but these experiences for me were before the surgery. I have a 10cc band with 7.2cc's and I could not overeat if I wanted to, but it's different for everyone. I wonder if you need a tighter fill which would almost force you to find another way to deal with things besides food. Strive to be positive...33 lbs lost is still great! Try not to compare yourself to others. Just know that with the band, if you fall off the wagon, you can always get back on. When you get the perfect restriction, things will be much better. Do yourself a favor...change your username and the description underneath from "BLOO OBESE" to something positive or funny!! Well, I am not sure if the BLOO part signifies for you being blue or down...it very well may not. Anyway, we are all here to support one another and a good friend told me that until I changed the negative way I spoke of myself, my situation would not truly change. So, try starting with that. It completely helped me. I became hopeful instead of sorrowful. You are NOT alone. Your lapband buddies are here for you.

[luv2laugh 0]

Hey Bloo,

((Hugs)) to you. Everyone has slipups - I LOVE that Nutella. I can't have it in my house or I would eat it with a spoon too.

Something that is helping me with my "head hunger" is reading the Dr. Phil's book, 7 Steps to Weightloss... In the book there are questionaires to take and it really has you think about why people eat when they are not hungry.

Keep the faith, and take it 1 day at a time.

Brenda

[mandi78 3]

Bloo-Reading your post was like reading my own. I had surgery on September 27th and I have only lost about 26 pounds, 1/2 of which I lost on my pre-op diet. I am eating around my band, drinking with meals, and eating almost as much as pre-banding. I'm at 7.7 ccs and I wonder if I will ever get to the point that others get to.....where restriction simply won't allow me to eat like this.

I can eat almost anything except a hamburger or sandwich with a lot of bread. I can even eat thick crust pizza if I chew well and drink which I do and I know I'm not supposed to. I ate an entire box of macaroni and cheese for supper tonight. I don't know why I do this to myself. It's a cycle, eat, feel guilty, eat to feel better, feel guilty again. I know it is head hunger and emotional eating. I am in therapy with a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and she also hosts a support group that I attend. In the meantime, I just keep hoping the next fill will be "the one". Good luck to us both. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk with someone who is going through the same thing.

P.S. I can't stick to the liquid diet post-fills either.

[darr5380 0]

I hope you can find some inspiration and encouragement here. Whenever I stay away form these boards I am usually screwing up on this banded journey. I also have had those days or weeks that I eat off band lifestyle, hence the slower weight loss, but I get back on track as soon as I can. For me, exercise has made a big difference on my mental well being. I no longer exercise to lose weight only. I have to do it to feel good so I don't find comfort in Krispy Kremes. Love them!!!! Currently my restriciton is usually tight in the a.m and less restriction after 7 ish. As much as I would love to eat pizza and a hamburger I can't pass it, gets stuck and hurts, so I stay away. Not saying I am the poster child for lap banders....

Here is a suggestion that has kept me in check or at least my slip ups are not for weeks at a time. Usually a few days of sucky eating right before my menstrual time. Every 6 weeks I weigh and measure myself. Some months I lose 6 lbs and a few inches and other months I only lose 3 lbs and lots of inches. This 6 week period I only lost 3 lbs and 1.5 inches. Sucky 6 weeks but I will take it. Get yourself a pocket notebook and write down your neck, upper chest, bust, upper waist, lower waist, hips, thigh, calf, foot arch, bicep, forearm, and wrist measurements. Measure yourself every 6 weeks and weigh yourself. Remember sometimes we won't lose weight but will drop inches and that matters too. I want you to feel successful, once you notice the off scale victories you will feel better. Here's to you, :tt2:

[sfeiner 2]

I would make a new lable with a skull and cross bones and put it on that nutella or whatever it is jar! Then you can imagine hanging those krispy cremes on the outside of your body. Look at one and say where di I want that one to go?

Do I want a bigger butt a bigger belly? Maybe here under my arm. You know thaT'S WHERE THEY ARE GOING TO END UP. dO YOU LIVE ALONE SO YOU CAN THROW OUT ALL THE JUNK? iF SO just do it. tODAY IS THE FIRSWT DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! aND FOR LONLINESS, COME TO THIS BOARD AND POUR YOUR HEART OUT. wE;RE HERE FOR YOU. oH BROTHER, i just looked at the screen and see my caps lock was on. I'm not going to retype!

[LindaE 0]

Hi. I havent posted in a while. I sometimes get tired of eating small portions. Its not that Im hungry . I was banded on 9/11/07. My Dr. doesnt want to give me a fill because ive been dropping about 8 to 10 lbs a month. I started at 289. I was at 269 at my surgery date. Now Im at

216. I just want to eat more. I never feel full. instead of eating food Im drinking alot of fluids. sometimes more than 68 oz. I have so much head hunger. especially when i go out to dinner with my friends and see their portions. I order a go box with my meal.And pack the balance right away. I feel like i am just like a dry drunk is with alcohol. I still love having my lap band. It really takes a lot more work than I thought it would be. One day at a time is good advice. Thanks for letting me sound off

[TulipStar 2]

Hey,

First of all, don't compare yourselves to others. The choice is yours and you have to step up and make the choice to let this work for you. Stop buying nutella (yes, I love it too). I had to stop buying ice cream bc I love it so much I will eat it all. I made the choice to do that. Why? Bc I want to lose weight. I have a vision in my head of me thinner, healthier (maybe w/ child, lol) and that is a goal that I want to reach.

You also might need a fill to help give you more restriction. Although, nutella would probably go down no matter what restriction.

You CAN do this. We can all do this. The strength is within you, you just have to find it.

[Sue Magoo 71]

Bloo:

You'll be much happier when you've lost alot of the weight. Take it from me down to 217 from 324. So, please know that you're doing it for your happiness and nobody else's. You deserve it.

Keep all of those foods out of the house that you shouldn't have. Instead, load up the freezer with sugar free popsicles. They're life savers.

Hope things get better for you.

Sue

[chocolate_snaps 3]

Hang in there Bloo. Ive dealt with the loneliness my whole life too. I have found that therapy has helped alot with those feelings. Ive learned to deal with them when they come but Im still learning not to eat when I feel them.

What has also helped is exercising. It regulates my hormones and actually makes me happy.

You came to the right place!