Today is my birthday...

[Wheetsin 714]

And my husband is being an idiot. Why? Because he's a man!

For like a year now he was wanted to buy me something (we'll call it "the thing") that I don't really want. Well - it's one of those "would be nice to have" kinds of things that I would want if I had the time to use it, but I simply don't, and won't until I'm done with my graduate program (end of this year). And it's not a cheap thing, so in the meantime it would just be sitting there collecting dust. He has used every single holiday, any type of occasion, etc. to try and justify buying me "the thing". For some reason he really wants me to have it. That is probably a combination of trying to encourage my interests and support me, and him wanting it too. He tried to buy it for me for xmas, he tried to buy it for me because I got an "A" in a class, he tried to buy it for me because I was having a bad week, etc.

My husband asked me what I want for my bday and I told him, and I think it went in one ear and out the other because he has been hinting that I'm getting "the thing". Two days ago he was hinting about it and I said, "I don't want it right now, I won't have the time to use it" and he says "Well I'll use it..." Men!

And - my husband really isn't a clever guy. He's exceptionally intelligent, don't get me wrong, but he is not witty/crafty in the way it takes to deceive someone, so I doubt he's focusing his efforts on "the thing" to try and lead me away from what he's really getting me. He's really not even the type to think about doing something like that, let alone be able to pull it off.

And my husband does not have a romantic bone in his body. The most romantic thing he has done was plan a dinner for our 10th anniversary, it was a "package" deal that he made some adjustments to so kudos on the adjustments, but -- really? And I truly think that he got the "bragging rights" from that more than pleasure at having done a good job. His friends knew about it way before I did - "Oh yeah, he's been talking about it non-stop... about how good of a job he did."

Here's an example of my husband's "romance." Because of the happenstance of my birthday, we're somehow limited to flowers, candy and jewelry as potential gifts. Well, I don't like getting flowers. I'm way too practical for that. They're expensive, roses in particular are (IMO) not that pretty, I don't care for their scent, and they all just die (yet somehow they're supposed to be a symbol of our LOVE?), so don't waste your money. And I'm not a big candy eater, especially now, and have never been a fan of chocolate. So he usually goes with jewelry, which is ok, but I'm not a big jewelry person. I always wear the same things - same hoops, same studs, same rings. My husband's idea of a "romatic" gift is to drive me to the jewelry store (always the stupid chain store at the mall, to boot) and say "pick something." Umm... what? What am I going to pick? I already have what I want, and even if I did want something else, I would want you to be at least a little bit involved, but this crap -- is no different than me just going somewhere and getting it on my own.

Now, because he has been (I'm sure) planning on buying me "the thing" and I've hopefully made it abundantly clear that I don't want it right now, I will probably either:

1) be guilt-tripped into letting him buy it for me

2) give up and tell him I want it because that's easier than dealing with man pout

2) get nothing because he's not the type to have a plan B

Getting nothing wouldn't bother me, except for the fact that it would be because he's a dill head.

[miztrniceguy 1]

yeah...happy birthday anyways...tell him to take you for couples massage or something

[ELENATION 0]

And my husband is being an idiot. Why? Because he's a man!

For like a year now he was wanted to buy me something (we'll call it "the thing") that I don't really want. Well - it's one of those "would be nice to have" kinds of things that I would want if I had the time to use it, but I simply don't, and won't until I'm done with my graduate program (end of this year). And it's not a cheap thing, so in the meantime it would just be sitting there collecting dust. He has used every single holiday, any type of occasion, etc. to try and justify buying me "the thing". For some reason he really wants me to have it. That is probably a combination of trying to encourage my interests and support me, and him wanting it too. He tried to buy it for me for xmas, he tried to buy it for me because I got an "A" in a class, he tried to buy it for me because I was having a bad week, etc.

My husband asked me what I want for my bday and I told him, and I think it went in one ear and out the other because he has been hinting that I'm getting "the thing". Two days ago he was hinting about it and I said, "I don't want it right now, I won't have the time to use it" and he says "Well I'll use it..." Men!

And - my husband really isn't a clever guy. He's exceptionally intelligent, don't get me wrong, but he is not witty/crafty in the way it takes to deceive someone, so I doubt he's focusing his efforts on "the thing" to try and lead me away from what he's really getting me. He's really not even the type to think about doing something like that, let alone be able to pull it off.

And my husband does not have a romantic bone in his body. The most romantic thing he has done was plan a dinner for our 10th anniversary, it was a "package" deal that he made some adjustments to so kudos on the adjustments, but -- really? And I truly think that he got the "bragging rights" from that more than pleasure at having done a good job. His friends knew about it way before I did - "Oh yeah, he's been talking about it non-stop... about how good of a job he did."

Here's an example of my husband's "romance." Because of the happenstance of my birthday, we're somehow limited to flowers, candy and jewelry as potential gifts. Well, I don't like getting flowers. I'm way too practical for that. They're expensive, roses in particular are (IMO) not that pretty, I don't care for their scent, and they all just die (yet somehow they're supposed to be a symbol of our LOVE?), so don't waste your money. And I'm not a big candy eater, especially now, and have never been a fan of chocolate. So he usually goes with jewelry, which is ok, but I'm not a big jewelry person. I always wear the same things - same hoops, same studs, same rings. My husband's idea of a "romatic" gift is to drive me to the jewelry store (always the stupid chain store at the mall, to boot) and say "pick something." Umm... what? What am I going to pick? I already have what I want, and even if I did want something else, I would want you to be at least a little bit involved, but this crap -- is no different than me just going somewhere and getting it on my own.

Now, because he has been (I'm sure) planning on buying me "the thing" and I've hopefully made it abundantly clear that I don't want it right now, I will probably either:

1) be guilt-tripped into letting him buy it for me

2) give up and tell him I want it because that's easier than dealing with man pout

2) get nothing because he's not the type to have a plan B

Getting nothing wouldn't bother me, except for the fact that it would be because he's a dill head.

Firstly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:cursing: I hope you have a great day and many to come!

I hear you..... hubby was insisting in buying the Wii for our daughters, they are teenagers.... we have talked about it with them before and they said they liked it , but it wasn't on the top of their list.... they wanted clothes, shoes and other gadgets better.... this was last year, he kept insisting that he wanted to buy it for them, that they were going to love it, bla,bla, I kept telling him, they really don't want it right now, he even went as far as saying, "oh, they really don't know what they want.. I want to get it for them" hello? I kept telling not now.... well, for Christmas, during his lunch time, he went and bought it anyway.... of course we argued, he insisted that they will be thrilled, bla, bla.... so I still got the girls everything else they wanted, and of course they got the Wii.... well, as expected, they've played a couple of times only since Christmas, they were grateful, but I knew that's not what they really wanted... well, guess who plays ALL the time? hubby does! I'm talking on a daily basis! by himself!...he begs them to play with him and most of the times they don't even want to.... of course he loves the darn thing.... all along I knew he wanted it for him.....men!

Now you're stuck with the thing.... I hope that you can use it very soon... I'm sorry.

[Mariposa Bella 3]

Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Wheetsin, happy Birthday to you...................

I think the massage idea is a fabulous one...better yet, how about you ask him to get you a spa package for your b-day.. I love the spa, in fact I'm scheduled to go tomorrow. Wanna join me??

[jlobyxmas 0]

Happy Birthday Girl:w00t:!!

Sorry your hubby is bring such a goof.

Enjoy your day anyway, and if he doesn't get you what you want go out and get it for yourself.

And sorry, thought someone else would ask but they didn't...what is "the thing"? Got all kinds of ideas swarming around my head:lol:

[babygrl1234 6]

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!

[green 6]

Happy birthday to you, Wheets, from Green.

I found your woes to be pretty interesting because I suffer from them myself and this is why I dread birthdays and Xmas time. I find both receiving and giving gifts to be very, very stressful. My husband and I did go through a brief and painful period of trying to surprise each other with gifts which neither of the recipients liked. Now we are likely to simply pick up the tab when we find that one or the other of us is caught ogling an item. This makes for zero birthday and Xmas surprises but on the other hand our policy makes for zero awkwardness and zero tragic waste of cash, either. We both find this much more restful. Is it possible that you could come to some kind of similar arrangement with your mate? I know that I still treasure his gifts to me even though I have chosen them. It is just that I figure that I have excellent taste, eh..... haha

[Kat817 19]

First of all---Happy Birthday!!

I think since you are pretty sure you are getting the "thing"---accept it---do NOT open it! Leave it boxed...put it away, and present it to him on his birthday since you believe he is the one wanting it!!!

Then tell him for your birthday, you are heading to NM with some LBT girls and he will have it to keep him company while you are gone, and you love him and will see him in X amount of days!!!!

Sorry to be so flip, I know it is angering, and also hurtful---but how was he raised concerning gift giving? He sincerely may not have a clue!

My DH has either got it perfectly, or is clueless! There is no middle ground! We have as we have aged together (!) decided that it is just way too stressful! So we decide on something together, and we buy it! Our birthdays are only 2 weeks apart, so we usually take a trip somewhere, since it is summer time. For Christmas, we choose something a bit extravagant for the house, or ourselves and we buy it!

Anniversary---same thing. We always exchange cards for holidays---but anymore we skip the actual gift giving, and do ours together. I like it much better!!!!

In the end, be glad you have him. I come awful close to losing my DH not long ago, and it is an eye/heart opener. They all come with faults, just as we do----be glad you have him to hold you and whisper Happy Birthday.

Kat

btw.....any body orifices the "thing" would fit in....if he REALLY pissed ya off??!!

[demsvmejm 5]

No one responded to jlobyxmas...and I was reading wheetsin' with lots of ideas in my head too......what is "the thing"?

The first thing that came to mind is a sex toy.....?

[A lot less 1]

Surely your DH and my DH are brothers.:ohmy:lol

While reading I thought, "could they be related?" And to make it even funnier, you sound like me,lol I am such a creature of habit---same earrings, content with my rings and I'm not that fond of flowers.

Tell him to put the money in an account (of course in your name)and add to it each holiday and when YOU get ready you can buy "the thing".

Of course you have OUR curiosity up and we ALL want to know what "the thing" is. :cursing:

[Wheetsin 714]

I didn't mean to be so secretive about "the thing" - it's not secretive at all. I just keep thinking of it as that. (I *wish* it was a sex toy!!) It's this camera. Which -- back long ago photography was a hobby of mine, and maybe once a year I get a chance to do it. For anything other than hobby time I prefer the little ones that I can throw in my purse or pocket, not something with big lenses I have to wear around my neck like a tourist. So it's a sweet thought, but totally impractical and totally wrong time, and of dubious intent. He, on the other hand, has all the free time in the world and is quite fond of photographing things like our ceiling fan. His computer monitor. The grill. The tchotchkes on his desk. The dirty laundry on the floor.

I think the idea of him truly having no clue is spot-on. One year for our anniversary he bought me a gift certificate to Target. And for xmas I got a blender. A few years I've gotten nothing because he didn't know what to get me. He is a sweet man, he's just not creative or romantic. If he had to plan a romantic evening we'd end up at a restaurant because that's all he'd be able to think to do. (We are total opposites here, so I just need to learn to keep my hopes low!)

And thank you for all the birthday wishes. My coworkers have really spoiled me today, so it's not a total loss. :mad:

[jlobyxmas 0]

Ding dang girl a camera is sooooooo much less interesting then a sex toy:w00t:

Tell him if he wants to get something u can both use and enjoy, head to the "Toy Store"

Sorry he's not on the same page as u, but men so seldomly are.

Happy Birthday anyway!!

[*susan* 1,709]

Hey Wheetsin,

:mad: Happy Birthday! Sorry that your hubby just doesn't seem to get it, men definitely can be difficult sometimes, but we still love them!

[travelgirl 3]

LOL! Here the only thing I could think it might be is a hot tub. LOL!

I hope that you end up getting what you asked for to begin with.

Maybe he'll change his mind...

Happy birthday, anyway!

[TheGh0st 9]

*Sex Toy* Ha! It crossed my mind as well but I kept flashing to a treadmill or Universal Weight Machine.

I wouldn't want the camera right now either if I couldn't use it until the end of the year. With the rapid speed of technology changes I'd be afraid that by the time I could really dedicate myself to taking pics it would already be out of date and I'd be constently annoyed that he couldn't have just waited until I was ready for one and got me the newest and best then.

- Oh and definitely go for the spa day. I use to hate that stuff but I'm totally hooked now. It is so much better than chocolate or flowers.