Why are there so many women bandsters?

[gometros 0]

I wonder if it has more to do with the disparity in women vs. men on the boards than the reality of the banded population. Maybe men don't feel the need for the emotional support as much?

Getting to the initial point image comparisons have always been disadvantageous to women unfortunately. Especially in the media. I remember the season that Ruben Stoddard won American Idol, the judges would constantly comment on the sizes of the women competitors, but there was never a peep about Ruben's size. So blame the media and advertising.

[ouachita 0]

A large part of the problem men have with admitting they need or have had something like the lap band is that it is so ingrained in us to be competitive that we hate to do anything that might be perceived as a weakness - physical or psychological - by other men (ie competitors). To admit you are obese is bad enough but to have to admit you can't lose the weight without help is to somehow admit some sort of personal failure. Men absolutely hate feeling they are weak or a failure and will go to some pretty silly and sometimes self destructive lengths to avoid or deny they need help or even have a problem. It's all tied into status, pecking orders, perceived reliability, strength of mind and body,etc, etc, and so on and so forth. (IMHO women are just as competitive - they just compete in a little different arena than we do)

It sounds like your husband doesn't want the guys to think he can't "hang" with them in the mass consumption department. In his mind it may be tantamount to them believing he can't "hang" with them in other areas. I understand, been there done that in my younger more foolish days. It is not something a man gets past overnight. It takes a little time and maturation.

My guess (and sincere hope) is that as your husband experiences success in loosing the weight he will care less and less about what his mates may think. I suspect he would probably be shocked to learn that some of his mates may be more than a little envious of his results and would be interested in the lap band themselves. I've been open about my lap band and have shared my experience with a lot of cops who are interested in the procedure. If they thought any less of me for having the surgery they didn't have balls enough to say it to my face!:wink2: In fact they are all very complimentary.

Hell, I'm a cop with a wife, 6 kids, and 10 grands and if I can can "man up" and have lap band surgery and take up ball room dancing he can at least lurk on the boards!:wub:

Tough guys DO dance and real men eat whatever they damn well please!:scared2:

[Blund 0]

Right on! Men and women are MEANT TO BE DIFFERENT! I'm sure being a cop, it is "embarrassing" to fall behind the beef cakes when chasing bad guys! Maybe more embarrassing than losing a chugging contest. :scared2:

[Leena 108]

It is more socially acceptable for a man to be overweight. My little brother was visiting a few weekends ago, going clothes shopping for his first corporate job since DH gets discounts he came out here. Anyway he's gotten bigger, beer belly guy syndrome. So he was trying to figure out what size of pants to buy. It turned out he's about a 40, squeezing into a 38 when he lets the "gut" out. When I was measuring him it turned out that my waist measurement was an inch smaller than his at 39 inches. Apparently my family thought that was impossible, because I'm just huge. And my little brother isn't. So it is more acceptable for a guy to be bigger. My mom just told him his weight would go down some once he stopped hitting the bars with friends everynight and quit his job as a bartender and started his new corporate one. A few hours later she commented to me how I should be working out a bit more, LOL!

Oh and my brother has women lined up to date him. I'd never be sooo lucky.

[ouachita 0]

I'm sure being a cop, it is "embarrassing" to fall behind the beef cakes when chasing bad guys!

:biggrin2:Nawh, that's what the young guys are for! Us old men tend to be more snipers than fighters. Just remember the story about the difference between old bulls and young bulls.:scared2:

[MELISSAV2943 0]

MEN ARE AFRAID OF THE DOCTOR.

As many doctor's visits and test that are required before surgery will scare a man to death.

Melissa

[gometros 0]

MEN ARE AFRAID OF THE DOCTOR.

As many doctor's visits and test that are required before surgery will scare a man to death.

Melissa

Not true. We're not afraid of doctors. We're afraid of asking for directions to get to the doctor's office :smile:

[snowbird 2]

My husband is a bandster, but he wouldn't be caught dead on the forum. Even if he admits he needs the band, he would never admit that he needs anyone else's advice and experience!

Of course, he will ask me what people say on here . . .

[Wheetsin 714]

I'd venture he's not the only guy to not want to come to a forum such as this to seek help., "guy makeup"??..,

In metrosexualese, that would be "guyliner".

[Manatee 3]

To get a band requires that you admit you are powerless to control your weight situation. Most guys will NEVER admit that they are not in control of any part of their life. Better to die early than admit weakness.

By the time I decided to get one, I had already been shown that control of one's life is an illusion that can be shattered easily. The only thing that matters is tangible results, all else is mental gymnastics and vanity.

[travelgirl 3]

I've been meaning to post to this thread...

My dh has told me that he thinks he would be open to the idea of being banded, but he works for a small town family owned business, and is afraid that he wouldn't be able to take enough time off work to heal properly as he has a very physical job. Even when I brought up the argument that he can't be fired for taking time off for medical reasons, he's just sure that his boss (the owner) would find some other benign reason to let him go.

I'm sure the beer drinking has NOTHING whatsoever to do with it.:thumbup:

Or his fear of asking directions to the doctor's office...:smile:

[luluc 6]

In metrosexualese, that would be "guyliner".

Exactly!!!..:cursing:

Travel Girl - DH gave up beer and hasn't missed it at all!! I think he actually lost the taste of it. He caved and had one recently and only took 2 sips, I stared at him waiting for him to PB, he just set it aside and said he's done..Who would have thought!!