No personal attacks

[La_madam 20]

Amen Donali

I agree 100% with your post

[lapbander081004 7]

I know that I stated, on a Thread that is now closed, that I would not partake in the drama and would go back into my little world after the posting there.

But here I am again. This time I feel this is a productive thread. And for the most part I agree with what everyone says.

I'd like to use a cops point of view.(as retired and not retarded as I am)

I used to do a Safety Town formate for preschoolers in my community and I would come in on the day and time frame called "Officer Friendly" there I'd explain all the equipment on my uniform to them in terms they understood. When I'd get out my pen I'd ask them what is this and what do Police Officers use it for. Hard to believe even at their young ages most would say to "Write Tickets". We would then discuss tickets and Thank God the parents weren't there to hear the kids tell me about when mom/dad got stopped...lol Anyway I would tell them that giving mom/dad a ticket was like mom/dad putting them in "Time Out"... Its a chance for them to reflect on what they had done and to think about not doing it again.

Well what my feelings here are is this: This Site is a highway of information for us and we need to respect the rules of the road here. Just like on a real highway there are rules and you do not have the freedom to violate them as you see, at least not without penalties if your caught. We must all becareful on this highway so as not to get hurt or to hurt anyone else.

I am very happy to see that a set of guidlines will be forth coming and they are long over due. But I do not agree that the moderators should have a hands off policy on what is happening on here. I like most here do not agree with censorship but also I firmly do not believe the 1st amendment gives anyone the right to be vicious or hurtfull on purpose under the beleif they have the RIGHT to do so. Walk into building and yell fire and see what will happen to you if your just trying to be funny. Using the racially Hated name agains our fellow brothers and sister of a different skin color and see the hurt that it causes.

The moderators need to be active in watching what is going on here. And they need to have the power to control out of control people. A frendily warning to someone who is crossing the guidelines would be in order for the first few minor offenses. But they need to remove words and post that are well outside of the guidelines without the authors permission. This wold not be censorship but sound administration of the board.

I also have one more suggestion for the moderators to consider and then I will get off here before I use up all the megabites the board has left We are all adults here and some of the issues that have come up have been of a sexual senitive nature and some of them have value and there should be a way for those who really need to ask to be able to do so. I say add a rating such as a x behinf d the title so that those who have no interest in partaking in that conversation can self monitor what Threads they go into. Go into one with a x behind the thread title don't come out swinging about what been said in there and how it offended you.

I will not leave this board no matter what goes on because I have formed some good friendship here and some of them do not agree with me on all my views and I like that but we can discuss our differences in a friendly person chat or PM. So far I've had no problem holding onto the friends and keeping my view points. And I hope to continue to build on that.

Best wishes to all and I'm praying that we gell again as a fun place to be.

Forgive any misspelling...but I fear touching that edit button right now...lol

[Zoe 6]

Lots of thoughtful comments on this page. I just want to take a moment to send a great big THANK YOU to all our moderators, who give a lot of themselves -- time, heart, and no doubt tears -- when they could all be doing something else. They've taken a lot of heat from many directions. It's clear to me that they're trying their best to make LBT a place where people can *safely* disagree with each other. Thank you, ladies. You are the best! I'm signing off now, because I've said enough on this thread.

[kellymoos 4]

Forgive any misspelling...but I fear touching that edit button right now...lol

Greg............you are 2 funny!!

[La_madam 20]

Greg, you stated that very well.

What is a moderators job, if they can not moderate

Removing the thread Marie addmitted to removing does not affect me in any way shape or form or does not affect the reason I come here. I come here for Lap Band related issues,& support I beleive the intent from the author of that thread was a band related issue but was taken a different way from many members here and the replies showedthat., and after reviewing it and its contents I'm sure Marie had good reason to delete it. If it was a true band related issue with proper band related repsonses I doubt highly it would of ever been deleted. She is a moderator, she moderated. Plain and simple

I also agree with Donali, if someone attacks me in a PM, I willsend it to the moderators and hope they dop their job as a moderator and take action against the person sending the PM, if the moderator sits aback and does nothing about it I will do as Donali stated, it will NOT be kept private and If I get removed from this board for doing so then so be it.No one will attack me and I sit back and ignore it

I would like this board to get back to what it is designed for and I know I speak for many many members here. It is diffucult for me to come here and see all of this hatered amongst a few certain members. " can't we all just get along"

I too am extremely happy that guidlines will be put in place here at LBT

[Penni60 45]

To all that agree moderators should have the "right" to edit or delete or do any kind of manipulation to a thread or post:

What if I came across this post from an LBT member: "I think every person that has an "I" in their first name are bigotted, self-righteous, egotistical, hateful, self-serving and well frankly just plane mean to all fat people."

Now since my first name has an "I" in it do I as a moderator have the "right" to go and edit the post cause it could be considered an attack on me? NO I don't think so.

But to humor you guys, let's say I go in and edit it this way: "I think every member on LBT are sweet, caring, kind, considerate, and understanding."

I have completely changed the meaning and content of the post right? Is that OK? NO!!!

The point is you cannot and should not edit a post of someone elses. You end up changing the thought processes and content of that post therefore injecting your values and ideals onto someone else. If you don't agree with what was posted then either don't respond or do so with politeness and online etiquette or send them a PM or ask the moderators to lock the thread.

As a moderator we should not have that "right" to edit.

If some of you agree that we should have that right then I will respectfully decline to use that "right".

I would humbly ask what would happen if someone decided to edit the Declaration of Independence to read "We hold these truths to be self evident that all men are created equal, with the exception of redheads,..."

Instead of "We hold these truths to be self evident that all MEN are created equal,..."

How different the world would be.

You cannot impose your thoughts, feelings, ideas, emotions onto someone else in writing by the editing process.

[blossom 2]

Well, somehow I managed to miss most of the ugliness that I have been reading about and for that I am glad. I am also very happy to see that our moderators are taking steps to bring this forum back to the health, happy place it once was. Thanks ya'll!

[lapbander081004 7]

The moderators need to be active in watching what is going on here. And they need to have the power to control out of control people. A frendily warning to someone who is crossing the guidelines would be in order for the first few minor offenses. But they need to remove post that are well outside of the guidelines without the authors permission. This would not be censorship but sound administration of the board.

Penni I miss spoke in my post and the above is what I intended to say. I didn't mean to change the words. What I am saying is as a moderator if you see someone is not within the guidlines se by this board I do not find it offensive to have you meet with other moderators and have an intelligent discussion, which is what I know it will be, and come to a decission as to if this person needs to be sent a warning about his/her violation of the rules or not. If he/she does then send it. If they keep it up then they should be bared from here... They have no complaint if they are warned.

What good will the guidlines be if there can't be some reasonable enforcement of them... I sure am not promoting a dictatorship here but some reasonable enfocement. God only knows had we had that before, this thread won't be necessary. I know its hard for the moderators but you are our jury of peers here to make decisions. And all jurys are asked before they sit in judgement if they can make an informed finding. If you are so far on the right or left of the censorship issue, and this is not to be taken that I am accussing you of this but only food for thought, then moderators need to be honest and not accept the position. As stated before I do not like censorship but control is needed in some situations that may call for action with the deleteing or removal of postings and or member if it becomes necessary. And I mean after all other attempts to stop it fail.

I do Love ya all but I also know you have a tough job and if its done right you have my respect and support no matter what you have to do.

[Penni60 45]

I hear what you are saying and to a point I agree. We do take an active role in the moderating of this board and we do watch the posts.

But this is the problem with "having the power to control out of control people." Some people (and I am NOT accusing anyone of this) might abuse that power. How do you regulate that? You can't till after the fact. You can't know who will abuse that power till it is too late.

I agree that there needs to be a way to enforce the guidelines the moderators put in place. We are still discussing that.

Deleting of a post or thread without the authors permission is not something I am comfortable doing. I would hope that just locking that thread would be acceptible enough and give the author the chance to remove the thread on their own. We cannot force someone to do the right thing. We can only strongly suggest it with guidelines we will put into place. By locking the thread we can discourage them from continuing to do the "wrong thing" and to prevent it from getting out of control even further.

As the latest events have shown in the end the person or persons did do the right thing and delete their own posts or threads. Or they asked a moderator to delete their post or thread. Most everyone inherently knows what the right thing to do is; sometimes it takes longer for them to realize what that "right thing" is.

In the meantime, I will not as a moderator edit or delete a post/thread without the express permission of the author of the post/thread and only then after discussing it with the moderators first.

I will as a moderator, help maintain the loving atmosphere that abounds on this site as much as I possibly can within my boundaries as a moderator. I will review posts that are brought to my attention. I will review any questionable posts with other moderators and come to a consensus as to what form of action to take based on our guidelines.

I love all you guys.

As Stitch would say, "OH HANA! That means family!"

[lapbander081004 7]

Deleting of a post or thread without the authors permission is not something I am comfortable doing.(and I never got any type of gradification in writing someone a traffic ticket. But as a moderator of sorts it was my job) I would hope that just locking that thread would be acceptible enough and give the author the chance to remove the thread on their own. We cannot force someone to do the right thing.(true but as a moderator if they won't do it you have to, comfortable about it or not) We can only strongly suggest it with guidelines we will put into place. By locking the thread we can discourage them from continuing to do the "wrong thing" and to prevent it from getting out of control even further.

I truely hope the new guidelines are followed by all then this whole issue would be mute. I just believe that you have to do what you have to do when in certain positions. And a moderator - moderates as tuff as it may be at times. Your a good person Penni and we have never had a problem with each other and I don't anticipate one in the future. Its just we have to agree to disagree on a moderator's function. And before this turn into one of those dreeded Threads where no one wants to come see lets just end it as we have both spoken our thoughts. Others can decide for themselves their feelings on the matter.

[Alexandra 55]

The owner of the site is the one who gets to call the shots with regard to moderators' duties, and I've seen him say that editing or deleting of posts is something he is very much against. I happen to agree, but it's his call to make. We'll do what he says.

With regard to the personal nature of PMs: I'd hope that anyone receiving a communication they feel crosses any lines will first bring it to the attention of a moderator rather than just going public immediately. I totally agree that verbal abuse is unacceptable in any venue, but taking this intermediate step might solve the problem without starting public bonfires.

[HarleyNana 10]

Are moderators paid?

[Penni60 45]

NO we are not. I do it for the love and fellowship. LOL!!! Is that humble enough for you? LOL!!

Are moderators paid?

[Alexandra 55]

Are moderators paid?

No. It's a purely voluntary position.

[HarleyNana 10]

And you moderators are putting up with this crap for free, omg what are you thinking?