Have you told people in OA/FAA about your band? feedback?

[morningoasis811 1]

Hi, for those of you who have been in OA/FAA, and then gotten the band, have you told anyone in program about your surgery? Group level or Individual?

If so, what has the response been? Easier softer way? Taking the easy road? or have you been met with support?

I know it's techniquly an "outside issue" like going to Weight Watcher for a food plan... but I feel like I'm not being completely honest.

Please share your experience, strength and hope on the subject. Thank you.:regular_smile:

[bbala 0]

Morning,

I have been pondering the same question. I'm scheduled for surgery next month, and I haven't decided if I will talk about it at a meeting or individually with OA friends. I'm inclined not to.

The subject has come up before, and my opinion in the past (before I was considering it for myself) was that it was an outside issue, as you mentioned. I agree that it seems similar to discussing Weight Watchers or other specific diet plans.

Other people in my fellowship have come in and shared that they were going to have the surgery, and while i appreciated their honesty, i didn't feel that it had a place in the meeting.

i really don't know what i'm going to do, so i, too, appreciate any experience strength and hope anyone could provide.

[favorite 3]

i also have not been in either group. but i have told anyone and everyone who will listen to me that i got banded. why? because i am so proud of myself for being able to admit that i can not lose weight and keep it off on my own. i have accepted that fact and done something about it by seeking surgery. its not for everyone but it sure is for me. and i wouldn't criticize anyone for not choosing surgery but if they want to criticize me who cares. i know i did what was beneficial to my health and i'm exctatic about it.

Edited April 21, 2008 by favorite

[barbara9460 1]

About 5 or 6 years ago I tried several OA groups and some of those people can be downright vicious! They were the most vocal I've ever heard from anybody. They said bandsters and bypassers were weak, that they were unwilling to face their addictions, and on and on. I dropped them after a time.

My mom will have her 25th AA anniversary in May and she said that the 12 steps can be worked regardless of having wls or not - as long as the person is serious about working the steps.

It's very hard to find a group that will accept wls people though - I'm looking for one now - Clearwater, FL. Anybody know of one, let me know please.

Congrats on your weight loss and for regaining your health!

Barbara

[tricia-j 1]

My close OA friends have known for a long time that I was working toward getting the band. I announced it at the meeting a couple of weeks ago (my surgery is 5/5). The topic of the meeting was "asking for the help you need" so I thought it was a perfect time to bring it up. All the comments I got were very supportive. I made it clear that I would still need OA as much as ever to deal with my food issues--as they say, the band is around my stomach, not my head! If anyone was thinking bad thoughts about the surgery, they didn't say it to me.

If you can't tell the truth about your journey at a 12 Step group, where can you?

[juliatabor 0]

Hi

I havnt been banded yet and I am thinking exactly the same thing. I really dont know if the band is contrary to OA or not. I have many unresolved questions around this subject. Good luck while you work out wots right for you!

Julia x

[tammygirl 0]

Hello Everyone!

www.therecoverygroup.org is an online support for compulsive overeaters and is approved by OA. They feature an online support group for OA specific to those who had weight loss surgery. I have found this OA community very band friendly.

Tammygirl

[Kellster 1]

I went to my first OA meeting today mostly in support of my roommate, but I mean hey - I'm getting banded - why not?? Strangely enough I didn't feel like I fit in... but I was totally honest about why I was there and it seemed like the rest of the group kind of glossed over the surgery. My dad has been a sober alcoholic for 20 years, so I understand how powerful the 12 steps can be. But I'm still wary about the band + OA.

[atwoodka 0]

I had the same concerns and wrote the OA world service office for advice on whether I would still be welcomed in OA meetings and how to share. Their reply was very accepting and loving.

"The only requirement is the desire to refrain from compulsive eating and that without a doubt there is no reason that you should not be welcome at any OA meeting. In reference to how you might share, the only thing that I can say is that even though the surgery itself is what we would refer as an outside issue, recovery needs to be 3 folded and you would still have much to share on how to keep physical recovery based on spiritual and emotional recovery. The fact that you are a member of OA who wants to recover should be all that is necessary! "

Hope this helps resolves any concerns anyone may have.

Together we can!

[kmcoolone 0]

The only requirement for membership in OA is the DESIRE to stop eating compulsively. There is nothing in any of it that even so much as mentions surgery. So the only people's business it is really is yours and your HP's and screw what the rest of anyone else thinks!!!

Kim

[Kellster 1]

After going to a different OA meeting that I liked a lot better, I think OA is a good place for me to address the mental/emotional side of how I got to be overweight. My roomie has been going and it has been helping her a lot. While I told the other group that I was planning on getting banded, I think I'll keep it to myself for awhile. It does seem like it is an outside issue, just as the other people don't talk about what exactly their food plan is, I don't necessarily need to talk about my plan specifically until I feel it's right. Now I just need to keep going to the meeting!

[kmcoolone 0]

Kellster,

I'm so glad that you want to go to meetings it took me a while to feel like i fit in there too even though I knew I belonged there anyway just gotta take things One Day at A Time or as we online OAers say ODAT. Oh yeah 2 more things: first, Keep Coming Back (KCB) and secondly, it works if you work it and your worth it.

[gabi311b 0]

Kmcoolone, You are too funny. I am Kellster's roommie and I have been going to OA for aobut 2 months. I am planning on getting banded in the first part of 2009 and I haven't told them yet, I don't know if I even will. I just celebrated my first 30 days of abstinence and it felt great. What I have been thinking about alot lately though is...what happens when I have to commit my food to my sponsor each day and it all of the sudden becomes 'band-friendly' food? I feel like I'm keeping such a secret but I know that alot of people within OA don't believe in the outside assistance to help in physical recovery. Any suggestions...i just keep going one day at a time and my favorite line in OA so far is 'just for today'...I can do anything!

[maryrose 2]

It's weird. I went to a few meeting, fessed up and the women were wonderful. We even did coffe after. Just depends on the group I guess.

However, food addiction is food addiction and I feel it makes no difference. I am interested in starting up again, and I probably will not tell them.

This is such an every day reality for us, I find I am surprised people do not know more about the band sometimes.

[peaches9 3]

Kmcoolone, You are too funny. I am Kellster's roommie and I have been going to OA for aobut 2 months. I am planning on getting banded in the first part of 2009 and I haven't told them yet, I don't know if I even will. I just celebrated my first 30 days of abstinence and it felt great. What I have been thinking about alot lately though is...what happens when I have to commit my food to my sponsor each day and it all of the sudden becomes 'band-friendly' food? I feel like I'm keeping such a secret but I know that alot of people within OA don't believe in the outside assistance to help in physical recovery. Any suggestions...i just keep going one day at a time and my favorite line in OA so far is 'just for today'...I can do anything!

Personally, I would only share the fact that I was BANDED with my Sponsor, one on one... the whole group does not need to know as "sharing" at the group level only needs to address Whether or not you admit that Food is out of control and your life is unmanageable.

JMHO