scared and flip-flopping

[azcat 0]

Hi Everyone,

Everyday I change my mind on whether I'm going to do this or not. I'm sort of a obsesser anyway, but I am driving my self batty on this one.

I'm 47, 5'6", 225 lbs., BMI 36. I have no health issues from my weight, other than aching feet. (I'm sure the arthritis in my knees from years of playing sports would be better if they were'nt having to carry around this weight) I take no medicine, and live a pretty active life. I hate being out of breath, not being able to wear decent looking clothes, and eating out of control. I hate being fat.

I'm so scared about how much my life will change with this surgery. I can count on one hand how many times I've had heartburn or reflux, and I don't want problems like that. I know that some of you have real difficult medical issues to deal with, and may think I am really being a baby, but I don't want to create problems I don't have. I also know that my weight may catch up to me as I get older. Just because I'm reasonably healthy now, doesn't mean I will always be.

I think eating is supposed to be an enjoyable part of life. Obviously not in the manner I have over the last 20 years, but I do like to go out to dinner and indulge in a variety of foods. I can give up fast food and Desserts in a second, but I can't imagine never eating bread or Pasta again, or having to chew a piece of chicken until it's mush. I hear that banders have issues with a lot of foods like these. I like the idea of eating MUCH smaller portions; that's what I want. But when I hear people saying that they only spend $30 a month on groceries now, and hardly ever eat out, that doesn't sound like living.

Am I overthinking all of this? Please someone respond and tell me what their life is really like now. What do you eat on a normal day? Do you enjoy food still, or is it just something you do? Do you eat the same few things everyday? Can you go out to a nice restaurant? Do you have extra heartburn, reflux, or other stomach issues that you didn't have before?

Long post I know, but I really need to hear the straight story from all of you, and not just the people at the seminars who are trying to sell a product.

Thanks for listening. :regular_smile:

[HappyMama 0]

Hi there. I am considering the surgery for health reasons, and have also wondered about the enjoyment of food. I just wanted to applaud you for asking this, and add that I, too, would like to hear more about the eating experience post-op.

Thanks!

[make33 2]

Like you, I didn't have any major health issues when I began my journey--acid reflux, achy knees occasionally but nothing like diabetes, sleep apnea, etc. But also like you, I WAS NOT happy with the way I looked or the way society perceived me--and frankly, I was sick of never feeling full--always looking for that next "something good" to eat!

This Band has done wonders for me--in the area of Portion Control, of losing weight I never could before, of making me feel like a vibrant human being again--and I would change nothing about the last year!!

1. Cereal for Breakfast - 1/4 cup instead of 1-1 1/2 cups!

2. 1/2 can of tuna for lunch - instead of a huge tuna croissant from the deli.

3. A small piece of chicken for dinner, with veggies--instead of 4 ribs, 1/2 a box of Kraft macaroni and cheese and veggies!

I can still eat pizza and bread--I just eat slower and more carefully. You can eat ALMOST anything you want if you're careful...

It's your choice, I made mine--and man, am I happier than I have ever been! :regular_smile:

[Lana24 10]

Make33,

Thank you for those words, although I may not have been the intended reciptient the message was recieved loud and clear. I have been flip flopping all morning (just saw the surgeon) asking myself why am I doing this, why can't I just live normally...again tearing into myself and feeling worthless because if I just had more self control I could avoid this whole damn thing...but those thoughts do not bear any real weight on the severity of the situation at hand. I need this, I want this and I will do this for myself because I want to be around for 30 or 40 more years...

[azcat 0]

Thanks for your responses. Are there some others out there that can tell us what their eating life is like post surgery? Also, do you feel like you are struglling with health issues, anoyances, that you didn't have pre-banding? I think it is the fear of the unknown that I am dealing with. I can't remember what 120 lbs. feels like. I'm so used to my life the way it has been for the last twenty years, post babies.

Have any of you ever noticed that in your dreams you are never fat. I always look normal weight in my dreams!

[make33 2]

Hey Azcat, something I did forget to say:

Before surgery, I was taking 5 Zantac and a Nexium daily, plus an Aleve. Right hand to the Lord above, I have not have even one incidence of heartburn, let alone acid reflux! I stopped taking the Aleve and have virtually NO pain in my knee!

I worked out four times a week before and still do--but now there is a renewed vigor that I can only describe as exhilaration to you as I'm working out.

My Breakfast, lunch, and dinner were merely listed in a hurry to have you see that portions are the biggest thing to change in my life--and believe me, I can still have chocolate and desserts--but I am satiated so quickly!

Good luck in your decision... :regular_smile:

[shortgal 5]

Well if you can "give up fast food and dessert", do it! Maybe that will be enough to get you where you want to be. Your BMI is not extreme, a few small changes and adding walking could make the difference.

This is SURGERY, so I think you should be sure you're ready for it.

Some lapband people prefer to be at a tight restriction and that limits what they eat, some are able to stay in control with a looser restriction and then might have more food choices available, that goes down well.

bread and Pasta are iffy foods, some can eat them, some can't and since they're carbs, they make us gain weight quickly and should be avoided anyway. But some people can eat bread if it's toasted.

I hope I can one day when my band process is further along, to eat out in restaurants and eat a variety of foods in very small portions.

I assure you we spend more than $30 a month on food. Bad food is cheap, good healthy food isn't. Seafood, meat and other Proteins, veggies and produce is generally more expensive than bread, potatoes and Pasta.< /p>

[azcat 0]

Thank you MAKE33!

I really need to hear stuff from people like you. I keep wondering how it will fit in with my lifestyle with my family, grandchildren, husband. He does not need to lose a pound, and eating is something we do together. It's hard to see how that will all work out. What I meant about the fast food thing was that if someone told me that after this surgery, I could never eat at Mc. Donald's again, no problem. I sure feel like I'd miss that bowl of popcorn or turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread though!

I am seriously more scared about the "afterlife" than the surgery itself. My c-section 24 years ago was way more invasive than this! :regular_smile:

[azcat 0]

Another thing.....

I really like to work out. I just get frustrated because I don't see the results because I never could get the eating thing under control. I have a lot of muscle under this fat!

[SElaine 3]

Hey, azcat! (Are you in AZ? I'm in Gilbert)

This is a very important decision and certainly not one to be taken lightly. Some people just want to lose weight and aren't concerned with how their life will change until after... and then have trouble dealing with it.

For me, I eat pretty normally. Yes, I eat less, but I still eat out, I still go to parties, and I still eat with my family. The difference-- for me-- is that I don't have the cravings or desire to overeat like I used to. I still eat the things I like, but after having some I am done. Does that make sense? I still eat popcorn, on occassion. I've never had a problem. The difference is, I eat a large handful and I'm satisfied. I don't have the desire to eat the rest of the bowl. I don't have a problem with turkey or whole wheat bread, either. (Although, personally, I found some whole wheat tortilla's that I like better and make wraps with them... but, to each their own.)

The sucky part is you don't know if you'll have problems until you've gone through it and you experience for yourself which foods go down, etc. For me, I've NEVER once PB'd or slimed or had food come back up. Of course, that's no guarantee it won't happen in the future, or that it wouldn't happen to you. But, keep in mind, that if you are doing what you are supposed to do, you will minimize your chances of having complications, too.

Feel free to PM me anytime.

[azcat 0]

Hi SElaine,

I live in Gilbert too! And Dr. DeBarros did my husband's gall bladder surgery last March. What a coincidence. I would love to have your result. I just tortured myself further by going to the complications thread. This is why I flip-flop!

It's amazing that two people can have such a different experience. That's why this is so hard for me. I really have no health issues now except this dang weight. I don't want any either. I just read about slippage, reflux, pain between the breasts, not being able to swallow, erosion. Yikes!!! I wish I could do it the old fashioned way.

I really sound like Debbie Downer. I feel like I have to know the bad stuff too though to make an informed decision. If I knew I could have a reasonably uncomplicated experience like you, I would do it in a second. There are no gaurantees though. Bummer.

[MamaHerm 0]

Thank you for asking these questions. I, too, am getting ready for banding, and I am asking myself the same questions. Thanks to all of you who responded because you have given me renewed faith that banding will work for me.

[bibo07 0]

HI...I was very happy when i read what you had written because I wanted to say the same things. I have been changing my mind on an hourly basis and this is all i have been thinking about.

I am 31, 5'4, 230 lbs and BNI 39. I don't have any health issues from my weight YET either. I hate being out of breath too and NOT being able to shop in regular stores like my friends. I hate hate hate being fat.

I have the same fear of how this will change my life...I don't feel i over eat all the time...i just love to eat the wrong things and constantly. I hate throwing up with a passion so i am afraid that i might have that problem.

My husband and I eat out like 4 to 6 times a week and mostly dinner. I don't cook much except for my son...my husband is vegetarian and i am not so I always end up eating junk because I don't feel like cooking meat or chicken just for me.

I have been practicing chewing my food until mush...kind of hard but i think i can do it. But i always drink diet coke with every meal...even Breakfast and drink lots of Water with food.

I wouldn't mind eating less...i would love it actually.

I am just sooooooo scared...i want to live a normal life. Can i have a snack here and there? some junk food...i am not saying all the time, but sometimes? is there really some foods i can never have?

I would appreciate any answers

thanks

[shortgal 5]

The answer for me was easy. I just asked myself what was more important being healthier and thinner OR missing out on some foods that made me fat to begin with? That was it and the answer was easy!

Trust me there will be plenty of junk food that will go down your band if you want it.

i would be more concerned about your need for diet coke and drinking with meals. Also, with your frequent restaurant eating, how will you handle ordering a full meal and only being able to eat a small portion. Will you be willing to eat at home and cook a small piece of chicken for yourself? To be successful, you should have a plan for overcoming those issues.

If we don't want to help our band and we work against it, can it do it's job?

[bibo07 0]

Thanks Shortgal for your reply.

Honestly, I would do anything to be thin. I have wanted to be thin for the past 8 years. Healthier and thinner is definately more important than missing out on foods. I can't put it in words, i am just scared. I was told that I could everything that i want just in smaller portions. I am okay with that. I love chips, ice cream and chocolate...even that i can handle having once in a blue moon...is that acceptable? I freaked out so much before i gave birth to my son...especially because i am afraid of needles but it was fine so I am hoping for the same thing here if I decide to go through with the lap band.

My eye is on the end result...i want to be thin.

what have you been eating? i noticed that you got banded end of november.

Though i have been practicing chewing my food a lot in the past couple of days...at every meal, i keep telling myself next one i won't drink with but haven't done it yet...will try tomorrow. As i was putting my son to sleep tonight, i decided that I will try to cut my food in half for the next week and see if that will make a difference. I have an appointment on friday at 11 the second doctor.

As for eating out....i don't know but if i feel fuller, i won't continue eating right? so i will have food for the next few days???lol. Can i not eat out as much? what if i eat healthier food? besides i will be eating less right? sorry for sooo much questions...i just want to ask others going through this.

HOW