I feel like such a failure

[Jeni 85 0]

Lvly, I can't believe you did that to us: 80 degrees and beach weather???? Bah-humbug!!! As I write, our 7 - 10 inches of snow is coming down, and it will be freezing rain when I leave work today.........:Dancing_chief:

So, YOU just enjoy your weather, m'dear--and don't worry about those of us back east........ :biggrin:

SO AGREE!!!! hahahahahha... try living in Chicago with the freaking wind!!! (lvly not mad just joking around) We Chicagoans are happy to see anything in the + double digits... although with wind chill one day we were at -17 ....

Thing like this make it harder to get yourself to the gym....

But you gotta do, What you GOTTA DO!!:wink2:

[Guest I AM SO HAPPY]

:huh2:

SO AGREE!!!! hahahahahha... try living in Chicago with the freaking wind!!! (lvly not mad just joking around) We Chicagoans are happy to see anything in the + double digits... although with wind chill one day we were at -17 ....

Thing like this make it harder to get yourself to the gym....

But you gotta do, What you GOTTA DO!!:hurray:

OK guys! I know you are kidding and honestly I do worry as being on the Internet for 10 years, I have many very dear friends all over the country! I know how bad it gets and I see it on TV.

I've never lived where it gets that cold. Like they say in CA, we can drive 2 hours and snow ski and drive home 2 hours and go to the beach :seeya: But we don't have the pretty change of seasons and most of the time, if you watch the Rose Parade, which is less than an hour from me, it's usually in the 70's on New Year's Day. :cool2:

It's insane with this type of weather right now. The animals start shedding and your plants that go dormant begin to grow buds then it drops to 60 degrees and screws everything up. Also remember, our houses are not built like yours as far as insulation and not many of us own a coat.

I'll be nice and not tell you the high yesterday. :smile:

Lvly

You guys can call me Lori :thumbup:

[hammer1 1]

Hello

Just to give a time line, so you know what I've done.

Decided 10/07 to check in to lap band. Went to a seminar, made my decision to have it. Began getting pre op tests, saw the dr 11/30/07. I pleaded with him to do the procedure before the end of the year since my deductible had been met. He agreed to 12/12/07 but I had to lose 15 lbs by then. For various reasons I was able to skip an important (I think) meeting with one of the gals that ran the program and showed up 12/12/07 16.5 lbs thinner. Had the procedure, went home the same day and began the "diet" from one of the print outs I got. 1/3/08 I saw the dr and had lost another 15 lbs and continued on.

Found myself going to a couple of funerals, eating small amounts of food there, no problem. Had some wine, no problem. I continued to "test" myself as I started with bad choices and found out nothing happened. Still hanging on the the 31 lbs lost, I feel as though the band is no longer there. SuperBowl party was totally out of control as far as food and alcohol choices, no problems. scale has now gone up 5 lbs, I see the dr this Friday 2/8/08, begged the appt scheduler to arrange for a fill, assuming the doctor will have me get one.

Just the thought of seeing him, admitting to my poor food choices, admitting to not starting to exercise, I can just see the disgust on his face.

I really don't understand the "fill" process. Not even sure he'll allow one with the choices I've made.

I have done well on diets, loss control and gained it back.

Now here it is, not even 2 months in to this program and failing.

Thanks for letting me get this out and not see disappointment on your faces.

Support is a powerful tool that goes along with this journey and unfortunately I'm on my own.:hurray:

Listen,

You will be fine, your journey has just begun. There will be many peaks and valleys. Being a "bandster" is a way of life and it takes time to create new habits while ridding yourself of old ones. I have been banded for about 8 months now and know what you are talking about.

This is a marathon not a sprint......take it easy. :smile:

Hammer :thumbup:

[make33 2]

I know we kinda got off the subject, Lvly, but will add one thing: my brother lives in Pasadena across from the Rose Bowl but on Friday he's moving to DC (going from USC to working for the FDA).

He moved to your neck of the woods six years ago but one of the things he missed was the change of seasons (he said he never realized how rainy Pasadena was!).

So although it's a virtual mess today for the commute, we in the East love our side too--but just don't tell me what the temperature was yesterday!!! :smile:

[PETA 0]

I am coming into this process after 18 months in a 12 step recovery program for people with food addictions. I have learned that food is truly an addiction for me, and have learned how to manage that. I have found peace for the first time since I was 14 years old, not having to binge, purge or starve. Unfortunately, my health problems get in the way of losing... I maintain till the end of the earth though and feel freedom from food obsession.

I can't imagine going into this without the support of OA. This disease wants to kill us, and if we don't get control over that, no little band around our tummy is gonna stop it. Nothing will. We have failed at various attempts and methods before. Banding is really no different in the sense that it can be cheated.

Not trying to preach or anything but I really feel like I would be lost without the support from my OA group. OA.org can help you find support in your area. I believe there is also a section on the forum for 12 step stuff.

Congrats on your success! You can totally beat this! Good luck as you keep it up... I can't wait to join you guys. (Only 12 more days:thumbup:till my surgery!)

Hi again

My apologies for not replying sooner but I have been incredibly busy with my bookwork and BAS statement. After reading what you had to say I feel that you are on the right path now, you really do need to believe in something and I can in fact say that this lapband really does work without a doubt. It is probably wise to look at this device as a tool that will help you go in the right direction. I understand where you are coming from I could think of nothing else but food 24/7, it was harder for me becasue my husband owns a restaurant/takeaway and believe me it was so very very hard being around all that lovely food seven days a week. However a miracle did happen for me, after my surgery and after the band I now have very little desire to eat, I am simply not hungry and often have to remind myself to eat. This band is magnificent and I am so very happy with it all, today I went to my surgeon for my adjustment (fill) and right now I have no desire for food of any sort, my last meal was 2.30pm, I know I should eat something but I simply don't feel like it and the best news of all is I've lost another 3 kgs in just 3 wks, yes I agree with you that if you wanted to you could indeed cheat but I promise you, you simply will not feel the need to, to date I haven't. I have every faith that you will be magnificent, just wait and see, good luck Peta

[Guest I AM SO HAPPY]

Everyone, I am totally overwhelmed with all the kind words and support.

I'm back on track, scale is going down, made a wonderful new friend that we took our friendship in to personal email and I see many more coming my way!!

I will say that my first fill last Friday has not made any difference whatsoever. But I'm in contact with the nutritionist and the doctor. I chose a world wide known surgeon that works at USC University Hospital and a trip to see him is not down the street and around the corner. My personal primary doctor, here close to me, would only recommend him and nearly insisted because I have had many non related serious surgeries and conditions.

I am going to give OA meetings a chance beginning this weekend. I was hesitant because I am not a religious person and didn't care to deal with my issues in a way I was not comfortable. But a lovely new friend from this site explained to me many things I had not realized or even thought of so I am am going to try this with an open mind.

And if it makes you guys feel any better....:cursing: yes, Tuesday the high in Southern CA was 88 degrees, yesterday it was in the high 50's!! and today is again in the 50's and raining. Feel better??? :tt1:

:heart:Happy Valentine's Day to all! :wub:

My Valentine is only in my heart and my dreams :wub:

So I'll hug my kitties all day!!!

Hugs to all!

Lori

[Odi 0]

Oh my gosh! I wish it was only 5 for me. I had been banded for a year and a half and got it loosened because it was too tight. Had some reflux and hearbearn with Water.

After the unfill, I went out and ate everything and anything. Now I'm trying desperately to relose the weight I lost and gained back. It only took me three months to

This band is truly a tool. It's not completely up to the band on how much you can eat. It's a learning process for all of us. Also have to remind ourselves what it's purpose is for.

You can gain weight with the band, and will if you don't manage it.

Push that defeat aside and vow to do better. We all get a little sidetracked.

[Queen Jane 0]

LVLY-I got onto this chat room just to discuss this very issue!!!! I have lost almost 50 pounds since my procedure in November but....I HAVE NO RESTRICTION!!! Seriously I can as much of whatever I want to..I had this procedure because I never could get permanent control of this issue and soooo frustrated that there really is no restriction. Because of crappy insurance, I took out a loan and paid cash for my procedure. I have large monthly payments and no weightloss incentive to make this feel better. The weight loss I have had is because I was on a liquid diet for almost 6 weeks. Lost most of it then and have only lost about 12 lbs since mid-december. In fact I think I had more restriction feeling after the first fill than now after the 4th fill...What is wrong?????

[shortgal 5]

Queen Jane, If I understand right, you've lost 12 pounds in 8 weeks, with no restriction. What's wrong with that? That's 1.5 pounds a week!

You've had four fills. I've had five and I still don't have good restriction, either. Remember you've lost fifty pounds and your stomach got smaller , so your band is looser. Maybe your fills just haven't caught up with the weigh loss.

We probably just need more fills. I had no liquid pre-op diet, but I am tracking my calories and Protein and really I'm just dieting until I get restriction.

Hang in there. 50 pounds is great! Celebrate ( but not with food)!

[novbeginning 0]

Dont be so hard on yourself, we are only human, we make mistakes & bad choices everyday. The fact that you can see it is your first step in changing. Just take one day at a time, it's too much to think ahead. When I get the urge for food I eat a Wheat thin or cucumber, filling foods work best. Go for the fill this week and you'll feel better. Good Luck.

[Guest I AM SO HAPPY]

Hi Jane...sorry to be slow returning your call out for help! You had your procedure in November and you've had 4 fills? My banding was 12/12/07 and my doctor didn't do my 1st fill until 2/8/08! I was hoping for some kind of "assistance" from the fill. I understand this is a tool that we have to work with. The fill I had 8 days ago had no affect whatsoever. Doctor says do a diary of what I eat for a week, turn it over to the nutritionist and he'd see me at my next appt which is 3 weeks.

I've said this before that I have a world known doctor that teaches the procedure, has written books about it, has more awards than my finger can hold the down arrow to get to the bottom, was just knighted by the French government and la de da de da. Impressive yes, has he been supportive in this? no

So at this point I admit to having no answers but I refuse to allow myself feel like a failure. This was a procedure that I clearly understood took work on my part. I've also lost nearly 40 lbs but 16 of it was a liquid diet prior to surgery.

I've not exercised so that is going to change. A great lady from this thread has written me wonderful email about the support group OA. I agreed to try it but as the day approaches, my lack of self confidence holds me back.

So it's a day at a time and baby steps to overcome the issues that got me in this predicament in the first place.

Keep a posiotve attitude and know that you are not alone!

Lori

[Queen Jane 0]

Lvly-lori

we both sound like we're riding in the same boat. I too understand it is a tool but at the same time-want to feel it!! I did after the first fill in December but it left as quickly as it came.

I think we need to support each other on this crazy voyage. I, for one, would like this cruise ship to be just a bit more structured. I'd really like to know what happens next and keep getting the same frustrating answer..everyone is different. My doctor--it's kind of funny--I too chose him because of his great success rate but honestly--I don't think I want to go to lunch with him. He is the only surgeon in a very small town and it takes 5 weeks to get an appointment so support from him is just not happening. I am going to the monthly support group meeting this week and will tell you, I have gone before and have learned more from this group than from the doctor or nutritionist so strongly strongly suggest you hook up with the support group in your area. The people there have the info, the tricks and the words--I agree it is so hard to get yourself in that door but once you are there you will not be sorry (I don't think!)--Hang in there. I'm here to share in your angst and Celebrate your success.

[Frustrated 1]

I too hate the "everyone is different" answer and admit that I use it a lot myself. But the thing is, it's true. This is a very frustrating journey for me a lot of the time. I didn't pick this user name for nothing! What's frustrating for me is that it's always changing and I always have to work at trying to find out what will work for me on this journey.

After my most recent fill things have changed dramatically in the past 3 weeks. At first I could only get hot fluids down. Then it was just hot, clear fluids. A couple of days ago that changed yet again and now I'm on cold clear fluids. Bacon goes down sometimes so long as it's almost burnt. chicken, I can't even get near me. Potato chips and Cookies though would slide through no problem at all if I gave them a chance! :cheers2:

This is really hard work, and some days I just can't be bothered. But I also know that on those days the best place for me is usually on here, trolling the message boards and reading the frustrations and victories of my fellow bandsters. You need to have a support system that works for you. My hubby is the most supportive person I know. But he doesn't know what it's like to be fat. He doesn't know what it's like not to be able to control your eating. He doesn't know what goes through a fat person's brain. He just doesn't know. But it's not his fault. The only people that know are the ones who register here in the first place. And those are the people whose help I call on.

So while "everyone is different" is true no matter how frustrating that is, we're also in the same predicament and should be able to draw on that when we need it.

[realmccoy 0]

Don't worry........that is what fills are for. I just had one and I had been putting it off. Not because I had gained, but because my loss had slowed way down. I told the doctor that I was starving all the time and I could eat large portions of food-feeling no restriction unless I eat bread. He made me feel fine and said I was just due for a fill and that would get me on track. He said I shouldn't be hungry and that a 1/2 cup of anything should make me full.

I'm sure a lot of us have been there and you shouldn't feel embarrassed or avoid a fill. Fills are a lot of trial and error and you need to get back on track with a fill and you'll be on the weight loss wagon again! We've all had set backs and made poor choices........you will bounce back!

[Kat817 19]

I know the "everyone is different" phrase gets old....but you would be hard pressed to find a truer statement!!!

Every phase of this, is approached differently by different Dr.'s!

Not to mention the bazillions of differences in insurance to start with!!

There are dozens of different pre op diets.

Dozens of different post op diets.

Dozens of different fill schedules and plans with different Dr.'s

Different approaches to reflux issues.

Different expectations of weight loss.

It is staggering. Then WE enter the picture. We all have different experiences with types of food that agree with us...or don't. We all have different abilities and enjoy different types of exercise, or some none at all!

And to make it more difficult to help others along--what is perfect for us today may make us miserable tomorrow!! It is a never ending adventure, and one that may be done quickly for some, and may be a longer ride for others (me!!)

No one is a failure that I have read about on here! I think a slow and steady approach with the fills until you find the spot of restriction you are comfortable with is the best approach arround---then again, I am sure thoughts on that too differ!!!!!

Kat