I feel like such a failure

[REDGIRL 0]

Hello

Just to give a time line, so you know what I've done.

Decided 10/07 to check in to lap band. Went to a seminar, made my decision to have it. Began getting pre op tests, saw the dr 11/30/07. I pleaded with him to do the procedure before the end of the year since my deductible had been met. He agreed to 12/12/07 but I had to lose 15 lbs by then. For various reasons I was able to skip an important (I think) meeting with one of the gals that ran the program and showed up 12/12/07 16.5 lbs thinner. Had the procedure, went home the same day and began the "diet" from one of the print outs I got. 1/3/08 I saw the dr and had lost another 15 lbs and continued on.

Found myself going to a couple of funerals, eating small amounts of food there, no problem. Had some wine, no problem. I continued to "test" myself as I started with bad choices and found out nothing happened. Still hanging on the the 31 lbs lost, I feel as though the band is no longer there. SuperBowl party was totally out of control as far as food and alcohol choices, no problems. scale has now gone up 5 lbs, I see the dr this Friday 2/8/08, begged the appt scheduler to arrange for a fill, assuming the doctor will have me get one.

Just the thought of seeing him, admitting to my poor food choices, admitting to not starting to exercise, I can just see the disgust on his face.

I really don't understand the "fill" process. Not even sure he'll allow one with the choices I've made.

I have done well on diets, loss control and gained it back.

Now here it is, not even 2 months in to this program and failing.

Thanks for letting me get this out and not see disappointment on your faces.

Support is a powerful tool that goes along with this journey and unfortunately I'm on my own.:drool:

The last thing you are is a failure! You ate wrong for years, and it's going to longer than 2 months to get use to eating right and not making bad choices sometimes. T he good thing is you mad a few bad choices and YOU KNOW IT so , move on and try not to do it again!~:tongue2:

[shortgal 5]

Hey no problem with the help and support. Next month it might be you kicking one of us in the butt to get us back on track!

[PETA 0]

Hello

Just to give a time line, so you know what I've done.

Decided 10/07 to check in to lap band. Went to a seminar, made my decision to have it. Began getting pre op tests, saw the dr 11/30/07. I pleaded with him to do the procedure before the end of the year since my deductible had been met. He agreed to 12/12/07 but I had to lose 15 lbs by then. For various reasons I was able to skip an important (I think) meeting with one of the gals that ran the program and showed up 12/12/07 16.5 lbs thinner. Had the procedure, went home the same day and began the "diet" from one of the print outs I got. 1/3/08 I saw the dr and had lost another 15 lbs and continued on.

Found myself going to a couple of funerals, eating small amounts of food there, no problem. Had some wine, no problem. I continued to "test" myself as I started with bad choices and found out nothing happened. Still hanging on the the 31 lbs lost, I feel as though the band is no longer there. SuperBowl party was totally out of control as far as food and alcohol choices, no problems. scale has now gone up 5 lbs, I see the dr this Friday 2/8/08, begged the appt scheduler to arrange for a fill, assuming the doctor will have me get one.

Just the thought of seeing him, admitting to my poor food choices, admitting to not starting to exercise, I can just see the disgust on his face.

I really don't understand the "fill" process. Not even sure he'll allow one with the choices I've made.

I have done well on diets, loss control and gained it back.

Now here it is, not even 2 months in to this program and failing.

Thanks for letting me get this out and not see disappointment on your faces.

Support is a powerful tool that goes along with this journey and unfortunately I'm on my own.:thumbup:

Hi there,

First of all congratulations on your overall weight loss that is truly magnigficent and tells me that you do indeed possess great willpower in order to have achieved such astounding results. Secondly and most importantly try not be too hard on yourself, so you've strayed a little it's ok, you are only human afterall, this is what we humans do, it is ok, you just have to remember to try and get back on track, go deep inside and once again you will find that great determination you had to succeed, your willpower is definitely there try and get in touch with it again believe me you WILL find it I know from experience. Good luck with it all , Peta

[runningagain 0]

I just wanted to say how nice it is to see such wonderful, supporting responses to LVLY. I just love this website and the support of everyone on it!!

[PETA 0]

I just wanted to say how nice it is to see such wonderful, supporting responses to LVLY. I just love this website and the support of everyone on it!!

Hi again,

Thankyou for your response I,m more than happy to support my fellow lapbanders, we are all going through this journey together and I feel it is very important to give and receive support, it helps us along the way, I especially know it helps me thankyou, goodnight Peta

[feligurl3 0]

Hey eveyone.. yes long time since ive posted.. Been busy with school full time and working fulltime too... I ve been having the same problem, i have lost 50 pounds so far and feel im at the stage right now where im losing slowing or not losing at all. Im young 28 and still love to go out dancing and drinking with my friends. This has been very hard for me especially the past few months. I was doing fine when i was in "LOVE" but that has ended and i have lost my foucus. I keep trying to start over, but its hard. I hate going to dinner with friends, becuase i cant eat like them and it sadens me. This may will be 1 yr and i hope to have lost 75 pounds, so i need 25 more to go. I will be checking the site often for support. i just go off the wagon just need a little help back on.. Thanks for letting me VENT!!!

Felicia

[Frustrated 1]

Hey Felicia,

When was the last time you had a fill? Could it be time for one? How much are you eating? During the times you feel you're failing, are you dealing with stress? For many of us food has been a comfort. So when something goes wrong, we reach for our faithful friend. food is always there. What you have to do is shift your focus in another direction. For me it's cleaning out a kitchen drawer or something. I'm not really a neat freak, in fact I'm kinda messy and cluttery. So clearing something away keeps me focused on the task and not on what I can put in my mouth. If I don't feel like cleaning, I'll write an e-mail to someone in my family whom I haven't contacted in a while. I'm terrible with correspondence as well. So when I have a weak food moment, I'll shift that focus to one of my other weak areas.

What about exercise? Are you getting enough in per week? Buy yourself a pedometer. You can pick up a decent one for less than $10. Then make sure you're getting in 10,000 steps per day. It sounds like a lot of working, but once you get used to it, you can find ways to easily clock up the steps. Walking to the corner store and back for milk or just because will be good for you.

Are you getting your daily Water intake? I've noticed that when I'm strict with myself over my Water, I'm less inclined to snack or over-eat. Sometimes it can be hard sitting there and making your way through a full glass at a time, so I've taken to carrying a water bottle around with me. Yeah, I've become one of those people who used to annoy me. I couldn't understand why all these young girls would carry water with them. I thought it was some kind of fashion statement to show they were young and trendy. :thumbup: I've discovered it's actually a good idea. And I'll make up little drink regimes for myself to get through my water. Taking a sip every time I open a new window on the computer. Or after every post I read, or during the commercial breaks while watching TV. The water disappears a lot quicker that way and before I know it, I've reached my daily requirement.

Hope this gives you a few things to think about. Good luck getting back on the bandwagon. We all stumble off at times, but there are plenty of people here willing to hold out a hand and hoist you back on board. :biggrin2:

[janedavis 0]

I am coming into this process after 18 months in a 12 step recovery program for people with food addictions. I have learned that food is truly an addiction for me, and have learned how to manage that. I have found peace for the first time since I was 14 years old, not having to binge, purge or starve. Unfortunately, my health problems get in the way of losing... I maintain till the end of the earth though and feel freedom from food obsession.

I can't imagine going into this without the support of OA. This disease wants to kill us, and if we don't get control over that, no little band around our tummy is gonna stop it. Nothing will. We have failed at various attempts and methods before. Banding is really no different in the sense that it can be cheated.

Not trying to preach or anything but I really feel like I would be lost without the support from my OA group. OA.org can help you find support in your area. I believe there is also a section on the forum for 12 step stuff.

Congrats on your success! You can totally beat this! Good luck as you keep it up... I can't wait to join you guys. (Only 12 more days:thumbup:till my surgery!)

[Jeni 85 0]

HI,

So you made a mistake here and there stop feeling bad for yourself and get back on the bandwagon... Lets face it everyone makes mistakes we're only human... So start with today and start making better food choices.. and start exercising.. a little bit at a time... Baby steps always work...

I have made some slip ups as well but went right back to eating right and exercising..

as far as fills go... he should be able to give you a fill considering that you both(A.) haven't lost any weight in a while and (B.)don't feel restriction (you said you feel like you don't even have a band anymore so i'm assuming you need a fill) Don't be to hard on yourself.. without the proper restriction it is hard to lose..

I hope your not offended in anyway... because like i said i have screwed up before and luckily i had some tough love from fellow bandsters on here to get me back on track (thanks juli:tongue:)

Best of luck to you and let us know how the fill goes:thumbup:

- Jeni :biggrin2:

[jwright 0]

I feel the same way...

[Guest I AM SO HAPPY]

Hello everyone :scared2:

For those of you reading my initial call for help, I've been encouraged by wonderful people on this board and once again, cannot thank you enough.

I did have my doctor appt on 2/8/08 and actually was down 2lbs which shocked me after losing control. I did share this with my doctor, he did agree I was ready for a fill and suggested a psychologist to help me understand why I lose control.

I did have the fill through the radiation dept and unfortunately have not noticed any difference. Yes, I most likely need another and I've contacted my doctor.

In the meantime, I am under control, actually keeping track of my Water, and have had a Protein drink for Breakfast and lunch and cottage cheese in the evening, maybe a few wheat thins for the crunch effect.

I am staying away from my scale and working on a few other personal goals.

It's a life long change and the band is only a tool that we have to use to assist us. Yes, we can get around it, just like bariatric patients have. Now that would scare me.

We are all here to help each other and everyone is just wonderful!

Have a great day!

Lori in Torrance, Southern California

(where we are currently reaching 80 degrees....perfect beach weather):wink2:

[make33 2]

Lvly, I can't believe you did that to us: 80 degrees and beach weather???? Bah-humbug!!! As I write, our 7 - 10 inches of snow is coming down, and it will be freezing rain when I leave work today.........:wink2:

So, YOU just enjoy your weather, m'dear--and don't worry about those of us back east........ :scared2:

[lkgrubb 0]

You are not a failure you just made bad choices. A fill would give you more restriction, this should give you some bad results if you are not allowing the program to work. Remeber this is just a tool. Use the 30 20 30 rule and you should get back on track. Make sure you are getting at least 60 grams of Protein a day and only eat at your 3 meals a day. Remember that Protein first then cooked vegetables & fruit. Make GOOD Choices and you will be back on track. Fromwhat I have read on this forum most need a fill at about 6 weeks to continue loss at the intial speed.

[Guest I AM SO HAPPY]

I'm sorry about the weather post guys....I know that was mean but I was just teasing. We have the perfect weather but we also have young people aka our children that can only dream of being a homeowner here. I happen to be a native Cali girl and bought my home in 1975. I could not afford even the property taxes if I bought it today, so there are always the bad with the good!

[Astro0530 0]

I went through the same thing ~ Went to a seminar mid December and was banded on 12/27. At 6 week check up, I had only lost 10 lbs and I told doctor that I wasn't exercising and eating like I should. Nutritionist explained people who go through the insurance process or presurgery counseling/diet are more mentally prepared for the Lap Band lifestyle/changes. That same appointment I had my 1st fill and I ended up too much restriction so I'm going in at 4:30 today to adjust. I haven't been able to keep anything down... even Water. Anyway ~ I am hoping to be more serious with less of a fill. It might take a little longer to get there but my health is worth it! I hope this makes you feel better ~ you are not alone!