Confessions

[coolcrystal 1]

Yesterday, before picking up my hubby from work (we carpool to save gas), I went by Pei Wei and got a children's order of terryaki chicken and rice... I ate it on the way to pick him up and hid the bag in the back seat and put a piece of gum in my mouth so he couldn't smell it on me. We then went to go work out for an hour... I didn't inform him that I had something to eat already and then we went to Subway and got sandwhiches for dinner, technically, my second dinner. And no, I didn't get just a 6-incher, I had to get the 12-incher. I tried to tell myself in my head that I worked off the kid's meal, but who knows how many calories is in a cup of rice! and I'm sure that terryaki sauce didn't help...

I'm so worried that I will screw up on this band. Why must food be so dang yummy.. If nothing had a taste at all, would I still be obese?? I am a carb-oholic and knowing that I have to cut all carbs out starting the 17th scares the shite out of me!! I know I will cry and probably get depressed over it. I don't know if I'm ready to say goodbye to the Outback's pumperknickel bread and Subways honey wheat hoagies... I will mourn these things immensely. But, I know once I get banded, I will have to let those things go and realize how much easier I'll be able to get around and fit into seats and stuff...

[juno610 1]

First of all, don't beat yourself up about it. We all make mistakes.

I want to share two things with you. First, I too used to hide food all the time. To this day, those closest to me have no idea the extent to which I used to do this. I would recommend finding some way to work on those head/food issues. I still see my therapist that I was required to see before banding, and it has helped a lot.

Second, I can honestly say that once I got my band and got it to a good restriction level, a lot of that behavior went by the wayside. I'm not saying I don't have my moments, but my hunger truly is dimmed, and I eat so little that I really don't feel the need to hide anything anymore. I'm sure therapy has helped with that, but I gotta give the band it's due. I was terrified it would not work for me and that I would overeat and slip my band, blah blah blah. But, I didn't. I've lost 40lbs this year. I think I would've lost more, but I had some struggles with my band being too tight for awhile. So, hang in there. I know it's scary, but trust in yourself! You can do it and don't forget to take advantage of all the great support here on these boards!

Maria

[Ellisa 6]

WHEW! You aren't banded yet!

Don't beat yourself up. Guilt begets depression which begets more overeating.

Just start over right now, not tomorrow.

After banding the food still tastes good, but it takes so long to eat it you will eat less. If you love the subway sub, order a salad, eat it first and eat mostly the filling of the sub, but you can still allow yourself a little of the bread if you tolerate it okay. You won't have room to over do it very much.

My husband is two years out and lost 140 lbs. mostly he eats as he should, but he allows himself a bite of things he really wants or even small (very small) servings ocasionally. The key is to eat the proper foods first, then just a little will satisfy. I'm finding that works for me too.

[travelgirl 3]

Right now is the time for you to really evaluate if this surgery is right for you. I mean, really think about how it will affect your life. Most likely, you'll have the surgery, and it will turn out to be the greatest decision of your life. It was for me.

Post-band, I eat pretty much the same things as I did pre-band, only a lot less of it, and the only things that I've cut out completely are things like cinnamon rolls and donuts, but only because they're not worth the pain of being stuck. However, that being said, it's very important that you will be able to follow your pre and post op diet instructions, especially the post-op, for healing.

You might consider your food addictions, as well. If you're "closet eating" you may find yourself sneaking and snacking between meals, and I can tell you from experience that's not going to bode well for weight loss.

And come on, give your hubby some credit. Even if you chewed a piece of gum, you REALLY think he didn't smell the chinese food in the car? Especially with the empty container still in the car?

[coolcrystal 1]

Right now is the time for you to really evaluate if this surgery is right for you. I mean, really think about how it will affect your life. Most likely, you'll have the surgery, and it will turn out to be the greatest decision of your life. It was for me.

Post-band, I eat pretty much the same things as I did pre-band, only a lot less of it, and the only things that I've cut out completely are things like cinnamon rolls and donuts, but only because they're not worth the pain of being stuck. However, that being said, it's very important that you will be able to follow your pre and post op diet instructions, especially the post-op, for healing.

You might consider your food addictions, as well. If you're "closet eating" you may find yourself sneaking and snacking between meals, and I can tell you from experience that's not going to bode well for weight loss.

And come on, give your hubby some credit. Even if you chewed a piece of gum, you REALLY think he didn't smell the chinese food in the car? Especially with the empty container still in the car?

Wow, aren't you a nice one.. lol.... can't you just caudle me dammit?

Anyway, I've been researching this for two years and have been on this forum for a while researching it every single day.... I'm actually not a "closet" eater.. this was actually my first time do it... and I think it mostly has to do with me knowing the surgery is coming and wanting to get in as much of my favorites as I can before I can't eat them anymore... which I'm sure EVERYBODY is guilty of, or at least 90% of banders are..

And it is easy to hide it from my hubby because I drove with the windows down (it was 80 degrees yesterday) and it was in a sealed plastic bag shoved behind the back seat.... He has his own car, we only car pool for work, so he never gets in my car except to ride to/from his work.

[Daisalana 33]

Cool- just to address your grieving of losing the nummy breads.. hehe.. I was able to have breads for about 5 months post-op until I got a successful fill. I do love me some appetizer breads. I don't miss it so much, 80% of the time I make the conscious choice "No, I won't eat it", and I don't and I forget about it and I don't get sad hehe.

Then 20% of the time, I can't resists, and I try the tiniest of bites, and the band punishes me.. and I have to run to the restaurant's bathroom and spit it up. So hopefully when you have self-sabotaging moments, the band will be there to smack you upside the head

[whosyadaddy 0]

CoolCrystal : WOw good for you for confessing...you sound just like me before i was banded!!!

DONT WORRY you will NOT be able to eat like that after you get banded and have good restriction

NO WAY your eating a 12 inch sub. NO WAY you will be able to eat in the car like that.

Do i miss food? Yes...Is being thinner and lighter much better YESSSSSSSS!

YOull be fine...i had the same fears! 6 months this week and 115 gone!

[coolcrystal 1]

CoolCrystal : WOw good for you for confessing...you sound just like me before i was banded!!!

NO WAY your eating a 12 inch sub. NO WAY you will be able to eat in the car like that.

Do i miss food? Yes...Is being thinner and lighter much better YESSSSSSSS!

YOull be fine...i had the same fears! 6 months this week and 115 gone!

Thank you so much!!! I was starting to regret my confession. LOL. But wanted to do it to get it off my chest! Thanks for making feel like I can do this!

Cool- just to address your grieving of losing the nummy breads.. hehe.. I was able to have breads for about 5 months post-op until I got a successful fill. I do love me some appetizer breads. I don't miss it so much, 80% of the time I make the conscious choice "No, I won't eat it", and I don't and I forget about it and I don't get sad hehe.

Then 20% of the time, I can't resists, and I try the tiniest of bites, and the band punishes me.. and I have to run to the restaurant's bathroom and spit it up. So hopefully when you have self-sabotaging moments, the band will be there to smack you upside the head

Thanks Fairy!!

I will trust the band to help me with my journey and know it will kick my butt if I even attempt to eat a roll. LOL. I'll need that too! It's just something I know I'll need to sacrfice, but being at a healthy weight is more important to me!!

[cookielover 1]

Too many people beat fat people up; we need to stop beating up on ourselves too

. I think what you may be going through is "last-meal-syndrome" It is very common: get it while the getting is good. Before my surgery I had a lot of "last suppers", "last desserts", and "last lunches". I even went on vacation twice to get my fill of food, because what if I could never enjoy food again?<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

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The funny part is I can still eat anything I want...my band is very flexible. I wish it wasn't, because it requires that I do a lot more "policing" on my own, and I thought the band was going to do that for me. So it is willpower that keeps me away from white bread. DAMN.<o:p></o:p>

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Lastly, I think most of us are to some degree food addicts, because if we could stop eating we wouldn't need the band. <o:p></o:p>

[travelgirl 3]

Oh, you just wanted warm fuzzies? LOL, here goes....

You'll have the surgery and do great! You'll still be able to eat MOST of the foods you love after surgery, just not right away, and maybe not after you get good restriction. You'll just eat WAY less of it!

And as for smelling the food in the car, it's FREEZING here, so I'd have to have had the windows up, and there'd be NO hiding it from my hubby!

Sorry for being Debbie Downer, I'll work on that....

[Kami63 215]

CoolCrystal,

DFW? Me too!

As for your confession, I had a few myself before I had the surgery. I've had a few since as well.

Try to be as prepared as possible. read read read. You will do fine.

As for bread, I CANNOT EAT IT. No way. no how. Chest pain ensues immediately after swallowing. I don't mind now though. I was soooo addicted to bread. Any kind of bread about 5 times a day bread....LOL

I am fine with no bread. (I never thought I would say that! )

Like the others said dont beat yourself up. Last meal syndrome is VERY common.

Anytime you need to confess, we are all here to hear you out!

Good luck on your journey!

[coolcrystal 1]

Oh, you just wanted warm fuzzies? LOL, here goes....

You'll have the surgery and do great! You'll still be able to eat MOST of the foods you love after surgery, just not right away, and maybe not after you get good restriction. You'll just eat WAY less of it!

And as for smelling the food in the car, it's FREEZING here, so I'd have to have had the windows up, and there'd be NO hiding it from my hubby!

Sorry for being Debbie Downer, I'll work on that....

THat's what I"m talking about!! Thank you!! Didn't you know that when food cheaters like myself make confessions you are suppose to baby them on this forum?? Isn't there a manual or something?? LOL

As for the odd warm front we had here for two days, it's suppose to be like 30 tonight... Texas has the oddest weather in the US I bet! One day wearing shorts, the next burqua's! Maybe subconsciously that's why I bought the food and knew I could hide it because in my head I was thinking "the windows will be opened and he'll never suspect a thing". The cold front will whip me back into shape... :confused: well, that and Ms. Debbie Downer :tt1:

[Lap_dancer 8]

I'm reading your post and thinking...DANG! How did she eat a 12 incher???? then I saw you weren't banded...ahhhhhhhh okay. Now I get it.

I too have snuck food. Don't sweat it, that will change. You will see the day when the kiddy teriyake would have done the trick and you would feel FULL. That's the difference being banded. You can feel full and actually not 'take another bite' you're so stuffed. And what a cool place that is.

[Sunwyse 1]

If you are hiding food and find yourself making excuses to eat (like "I worked off the previous") then its not the food. You are filling some other need, usually emotional. Address the emotional needs.

[Ellisa 6]

Just have to jump back in here...

I'm supposed to be eating 5 - 6 small meals per day. I don't. I allow my hunger to dictate when I eat (mostly). Eating that many times a day just doesn't work for me, time-wise or hunger-wise. I usually only eat 4 or rarely 5 times per day. I've only had one fill, 3.5 in a 10 cc band. Eating takes a long time and it sometimes becomes a chore. In order to "closet eat" I'd now have to eat at least 7 times per day! Who has that kind of time, working a full time job?

Of course at my meals I eat the right stuff first and tell myself I can have a bite of something tempting or have it later. But when later comes, I'm not hungry, or there's no time so I don't miss it after all.

So far there's nothing I can't eat, but bread is difficult to chew up well enough, it seems to grow as I chew. LOL So one bite of a tempting bread does the trick. And if it's a "nothing special" kind of bread I have no problem not eating it.

You are going to do great. After the band, you won't feel like eating more than every 3 - 4 hours and when you do, it will be less than 1/2 of what you are eating now.