What to tell co-workers

[Maya314 0]

One reason I've told people I'm "looking into Lapband surgery" is because I have appointments all the time! Do any of you have the problem of taking off work once or twice a week for dietician, psych, surgeon, nurse, etc.? I wouldn't know what to say except for the truth. I'm a terrible liar anyway, and probably would slip and say something. On the other hand, I haven't told my Mother. She has bugged me about my weight my whole life. I probably should listen to myself and say I might find support in her. I can't bring myself to take the chance that she'll "disaprove". I can handle coworkers if they dislike the idea, but not my Mom.

I can totally relate, Disproving Moms are the worst.. My Mom seems supportive so far.. I say that lightly, She also has given "The Look" and so whether or not she'll remain supportive remains to be seen.

As far as work goes, I'm pretty lucky, I only work 4 days a week and so I'm able to move days off around if need be, Also I'm luckybecause the Dr I work for will be taking some time off around the time I'm predicting my surgery will be so it won't seem weird for me to take the time off.. It's all kind of worked out to my advantage that way.

My Mom understands why I want to keep it a secret, Ive done what I can to educate her and tell her that even though it will be easier to lose weight the side effects afterwards are hardly what I'd call easy. On the otherhand.. I have a 17 year old son that I am choosing not to tell... He's at the "Difficult Stage" (A total understatement!) and I think this would be something for him to use as ammunition in the future (He has issues with my weight)

To sum things up... I think that whether to tell or not is totally a personal decision each with it's pros and cons... Man who said it was going to be easy??

Good luck in whatever you decide!!

[minpinmom 2]

cool, I love this thread. I have told just about everyone I know about the band, but I think I must be unusual. Everyone has been so supportive, some have described their jealousy at how lucky I am that my insurance will pay for it and I have given out the lapbandtalk website probably 5 times after telling people - they are interested in it too.

However, after reading all your replies, I have come up with a GREAT response. Those of you that have told, and people keep asking you how much weight you have lost, tell them, then ask them how much they have lost. Do this every freakin time they ask. I bet after a couple of times they will get the point. I can't wait to try this!

[tsunami1967 0]

Hey minpinmom...(I'm a min pin mommy too!!!) I looove that response and I am going to use it!!! HA!

[minpinmom 2]

Hey minpinmom...(I'm a min pin mommy too!!!) I looove that response and I am going to use it!!! HA!

I can't wait to use it. I try to have the attitude that my Min Pins -they don't take crap from anyone!

[ShhhhDontTell 0]

Ive been reading all these post trying to come up with an excuse of my own. BINGO, Shhhdonttell, the ULCER excuse is perfection!! I have always complained of some kinda digestive prob or another so this works for me. Dont know why i never thought of it myself.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, SHHH!

My pleasure LOL Good luck!! I only told my hubby, daughter & 2 friends, I hardly see the 2 friends... I told no one else.. not even family.. they all just think I am dieting AGAIN & how long will it last... So this time they will be shocked that it will last.

I love my band, it is a great tool!

[Luu2008 2]

I was just debating this with my husband. There is a young mother at my church who honestly has lost so much weight she looks like a different person. Her sister also lost weight. They were standing next to each other and I commented on how nice they both looked and asked how they did it. The one sister turns to the other and said "don't ask her she did it the EASY way!" She then proceeded to tell me about her sister's bad decision to have her tummy stapled. Right then and there I decided that this will never happen to me. I felt so bad that her sister's joy about her hard work for her weight loss was robbed from her in that moment, you should have seen her face drop. I see nothing easy about a surgery and having to follow a strict diet/exercise program for life. Not to mention that I know this lady had been hospitalized several times for weight related issues.

I am going to stick with the "female problem" as most people in my life know we have wanted to have another baby for quite some time and have had several adoption not work out (we are thrilled to soon be finalizing the adoption of our son) so I'm sure that will shut them up fast. Thank you for this wonderful idea!!!

[Chrisann 0]

I am the Office Manager, and panic ensues when I am out of the office for a week. And since my liquid diet fell over the holidays, and office parties and house parties too, I told anyone who asked. Its nice to have people ask how I am feeling etc, instead of not even saying good morning, or just coming into my office to complain about something. People are starting to eat healthier, even if its just around me, so they are not "tempting me". The candy and Desserts on the counter have been non existant, this was stuff that used to appear all the time.

The reality is, I would rather people know up front, than have people talking about me behind my back.

I was back to work in a week, and in hindsight should have taken 2. I had a hernia repair and that was killing me more than the incisions. People said I looked exhausted and I felt it, leaving work everyday that first week at 3pm.

All in all the response from my co workers have been positive.

[CTman 0]

Hi Rachel, I have a told the co - workers tha I have a more than working relationship with and the others that I needed to tell something just know that I am having a personal surgical procedure and will be out fpr 2 weeks. My date is March 4th. Please keep in touch so that we can share post/op info. Thanks, Chris

[Terrisioux 0]

Hi Rachel! My case is a little different. I work in a larger company and some might say that weight loss surgery is becoming a fad in our company. I know of 20 co-workers that have had weight loss surgery, whether it be Gastric or Lap Band. The first few that had it were pretty hush hush but as their weight started coming off and everyone started noticing and making comments about how great these people looked, they started sharing their stories. What I saw is that their stories started inspiring other overweight people to get the ball rolling. Now whenever the grapevine spills out a new person that is having weight loss surgery, I see nothing but encouragement and support coming their way. This was the case for me once I announced my lap band date. As with anything though, you have to do what is right for you. Good luck with your surgery!!!

[lyndsay72082 0]

Well to start I was wanting the surgery for about 3 years , and 3 years ago I checked on the By pass I really hadnt heard of the lap band... my insurance said I didnt weigh enough... SO that was that I decided not to any more... then last year in february or so I had a misscariiage that was my second one , my doctors told me I needed to loose weight... so there I was my crazy selkf looking into getting this done.. I remember telling my owner one day that I wanted this surgery and he told me you are crazy i cant beleive that you would think like that ... SO about a year or so after he told me that Insurace wouldnt pay I was off too vhecking it out in mexico I believe I checked on it in march and by april 12th I was banded... As for work I told one very close employee friend... and a few my of my personal friends famliy and husband knew , I told them I was having bladder surgery... And then My Cell phone does owrk in Mexico and a fEw people called to check on me and it rings different so a few people got wonderring what is she doing in mexico , (the ring is different when you are in mexico) so when I took off 3 weeks because I didnt have a vacation for 6 years and I figured I would milk it for all its worth.. and for some reason I was in pain the whole time... I had some family probelems when I got the surgery and I was crying alot and the stich on the port came off my doc said that was why.. so now a few coworkers knew when I got back... then I started to loose weight and they ask how, and for a long time i have been telling them I am on a diet.... well now I had a slippage and I had to goto mexico to get everything checked ... and i am on liquid for 4 weeks so now I pretty much told all my emp0loyees, and they are all being so supportive to me right now because I work at a faset food rest and it is so hard to not eat any food when you serve it allday... but i do not regret telling them now .// i should have probably trusted them in the beginning... but my owner still does not know and i will never tell him , if he finds out from someone else oh welll but it wont be me... Sorry for such a long stroy just wanted to get all that out ...

[Angelsma 1]

I thought I was the only person who was experiencing the same dilemma. As much as I don't want to tell anyone in my office. I've decided to tell my manger and possible others AFTER I get back and they ask about my weight loss.

[Thom1955 0]

It is ultimately your decision whether to disclose or not. As nearly everyone has written, you have no obligation to tell your employer anything but you will be absent due to an upcoming medical procedure. For me, I'm so jazzed, I cried it out to the world. The overall response has been, Really? You don't need it! (hmmm!). March 18th is the day for me. I went to costco, got all my Vitamins (well, most) will go buy Protein whey today to start the Protein Loading my doctor advises to do and only dreading the 2 week liquid diet prior to surgery date. Any creataive liquid recipes out there - lol! Good luck!

[coolcrystal 1]

It is ultimately your decision whether to disclose or not. As nearly everyone has written, you have no obligation to tell your employer anything but you will be absent due to an upcoming medical procedure. For me, I'm so jazzed, I cried it out to the world. The overall response has been, Really? You don't need it! (hmmm!). March 18th is the day for me. I went to costco, got all my Vitamins (well, most) will go buy Protein whey today to start the Protein Loading my doctor advises to do and only dreading the 2 week liquid diet prior to surgery date. Any creataive liquid recipes out there - lol! Good luck!

I did the same thing.... Me and my boss are very close; he's like my second father and I have told him everything and all my friends too.. I've been very open and honest about it and wrote it in my 360 blog about it... I also conveyed to them that I don't want to be asked everyday how much I've lost. I conveyed many of my fears as well. I said I didnt' want any expectations put upon me.. stuff like that.. but, the support has been amazing. My skinnier friends tend to support me more than my obese friends. I don't know if they are jealous or what.. But, I have to think about my well being right now..

Also, you should ask your doc about the phase one of south beach diet instead of liquids. My doctor says that it does the same thing as the liquid diet does..... he said he use to put his patients on the liquid diet too, but that too many people cheated and at least the SB diet allows you to eat. Just cutting out all carbs is what does the trick... so, maybe you should ask him about it. I dont' get why there needs to be a pre-liquid diet if there is a diet out there that does the same thing but allows you to eat solid foods....

[kjeter 1]

After many months of pre-testing and attending other pre-qualification requirements, I have finally been approved by my insurance company and have a scheduled surgery date of March 3. I'm excited... a little scared too... but mostly excited. But here's my dilemma. I know I have to tell my office manager why I'm going to be out of work for 3 to 4 weeks, and that's okay. She can and will have to keep it confidential. But what do I tell my three bosses and my nosey coworkers? I really don't want to let them know I'm having the lap-band procedure done. Embarrassed? Maybe... but more like I don't want them judging me, and then afterwards watching me put any morsel of food in my mouth. I'm sure they're going to be sitting there thinking that if I would just use willpower I could lose the weight blah, blah, blah. So if there's anybody out there who has some advice - or I'll even take a dang good lie to give them - I'd appreciate it. I know my being out is technically none of their business and I really don't have to tell them anything, but anybody who works in an office knows it just doesn't work this way. They will out of curiosity and concern want to know.

I told only my immediate supervisor. I felt she needed to know, just in case I ever have complications while I am at work. And missing 3 to 4 weeks? I had my surgery on Friday, and I'm now back to work on Tuesday. Not the most comfortable day I ever spent at the office, but certainly bearable. I intended to tell everyone that I had hurt my back to explain the slow movement and grimaces of pain, but it turned out that I had a hiatal hernia that had to be repaired during my lap band surgery, so now I can explain without having to lie. The law stipulates that your employer has absolutely no right to know what your medical leave is for. No need to tell anyone that you don't want to.

[TARA5937 0]

I think I'm going to use the gallbladder surgery. It's done laproscopically today and I would think once the gallbladder is out we should lose tons of weight. Yep, that's what I'm using.