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Shrink'n Violets TIP 'O THE DAY!!



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Researchers have discovered that chocolate produced some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.

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This is a two-parter:

-Get lots of rest before the next bandiversary bash and allow at LEAST 24 hours before returning to work after its conclusion.

-Bring "Depends" undergarments because you will be peeing in your pants from laughing so hard.

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Thoughts and feelings rise and then they pass away. Buddhism teaches that you don't have to act upon them, you don't have to cling to them, you don't have to push them away. They simply arrive and at some point they will disappear. The more we pay attention to the process of rising and passing, the less hooked we are by the content of our thoughts and feelings. This can be very helpful when dealing with cravings or any negative thoughts that are getting in our way of achieving a goal.

Addiction experts call this process of paying attention "urge surfing." Here's how Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, Ph.D. puts it in Eating, Drinking, Overthinking: "Urges behave like waves—they start small, build to a crest, then break up and dissolve. When you urge surf, you ride the wave rather than fight it; as a result, you are less likely to be pulled in or wiped out."

Want to learn how to urge surf? It's very simple but counterintuitive. We've been taught to run from or give into strong feelings. This requires doing the opposite. As soon as you become aware of a strong sensation, rather than ignore or indulge it, you turn and pay more attention to it. The box below describes one way to do this called SIFT. SIFT is a three-minute process which stands for Sensation, Image, Feeling, Thought. It's useful not only for urges, but for any strong feeling—fear, sadness, anger, inertia, worry, despair. Neuroscientists say that it helps balance us because it uses both sides of the neocortex and helps reduce amgydala hijacks, those takeovers of our thinking brains by our emotional ones.

To SIFT, you must differentiate between thoughts, images, feelings and sensations. "I want a Coke" is a thought. Desperation is a feeling. The picture of you being deprived is an image. What most of us are least aware of our bodily sensations associated with our thoughts and feelings. Where exactly are the sensations in your body? Where are they located—in your mouth? Your stomach? Your head? Describe them as if you were a newspaper reporter and could not use any words except precise descriptions without interpretations: it's a hot tingly sensation centered in my throat that pulses in and out. Focus your attention on the sensation. Does it move? Vary in intensity? How far inside is it? How far does it spread? Is it anywhere else in your body? Give the sensations the kind of curious attention you would someone who you'd just met and are intrigued with. The idea is to recognize what you are experiencing, without trying to change it.

I've done this with hundreds of folks in all kinds of feeling states and usually, after a few minutes of focused attention, the sensation ebbs. Sometimes it gets stronger first. But eventually, it diminishes. It's as if all the feelings and thoughts we've ever been afraid of or run from or given in to are nothing but tantruming two year olds desperate for attention. If we simply sit down and really pay attention for a few minutes, they quiet down.

This process works—but it's not a done-that-now-what? thing. Depending on what you're changing, how much fear you must walk through, or how often cravings arise, you may find the need to SIFT several times a day. There have been brief times in my life when I've used it hourly. It takes a bit of bravery—to turn toward rather than away from that which is appearing to torment you. Hopefully the relief you will experience once you try it will make it easier the next time you need it.

Tomorrow, more specifics on how to urge surf....

--M.J. Ryan

Professional Thinking Partners

www.mj-ryan.com

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Sweat Regularly..

Physical activity helps distract you from the worries of the day. It also helps you feel more in control of your body and your health. Bonus... Work out with others nd you expand your social circle, which is another key to happiness.

Learn to forgive..

Write a letter of forgiveness to someone you feel has wronged you-even if you don't plan to mail it. Pour out your heart, purge any remaing bitterness, and leave the anger and hurt behind. Forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not for the person who has offended you.

And... chocolate goes down better with Ice Cream. TeeeeHeeee.

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Suzie - I can honestly say that I don't harbor any bitterness towards anyone. A few years ago I learned to forgive an abusive xbf and it was liberating. I do sometimes have a hard time forgiving my father, who died when I was 8, because he was very cruel to my wonderful mother. He spent more time in a bar than with us at home and because of all those circumstances I didn't have much time with him. I'm still pretty pissed about that, but deep down I do forgive him for being human.

As I always say, we do the best we can with the tools we have.

Yes, I have noticed on numerous occasions that ice cream DOES go better with chocolate!! Wow. How weird is that?!

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