Why are YOU Fat?

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

Alicesandra,

Weight gain is unwelcomed no matter how it arrives. I'm empathize with the pain of being overweight.

After reading your post, I'm prompted to respond because from everything I know about the function of the band as a tool, it doesn't sound like it is the correct solution for you. The band works best to help those of us who tend to consume too much food to refrain from doing so. If you aren't consuming enough food, what are your expectations from band surgery?

Congratulations on the weight loss!

I agree with Drasan. There is nothing in the band that will make you lose weight. All it does is reduce your appetite and provide early and prolonged satiety so that you consume fewer calories than you burn. If you truly believe your problem is not eating enough, it seems to me that a visit to an endocrinologist is more in order for you than any kind of weight loss surgery.

[destynee1 417]

Hiya all What a great thread! I have learned so much from all of you, thank you. Well... I am fat for many of the same reason's as many of you. Gene's , my mother's side throughout the extended family are overweight. Eating the wrong foods,... I fry when I cook. Also being mexican, and brought up in a mexican/american home... our families cook for an army.. so there were always left overs and 2nd helpings. I have been overweight on and off all of my life. From a young child in grade school, thinned out in jr high and high school, and then after high school that is when the weight really crept up. Lack of exercise and activities, on the computer for many hours playing games.

I am a night eater, I can go all day without thinking of eating.. when dinnertime comes, It seems my appetite awakens and I am eating here and there till I go to sleep, which is very late. I eat when I am happy.. sad.. depressed.. it feels a void I sometimes feel. food has just always been a reward... celebration... family/friends.. if something great happens.. we go out to eat.. if something bad happens.. we go out to eat. I have lived my life for to many years since I have gained all this weight in the shadow's. I do not like to go anywhere or see anyone I haven't seen in a long time for fear of what they might think I have become. I haven't met my boyfriends parents because I don't want them to think their son is in love with some beast. That is how I think of myself. I have always been my worse enemy. So... I am ready to get my life back.. I did this to myself and like someone said above me.. I will get myself out of it. I blame myself only for the choices I made. It's been a long time since I've felt good about myself.. I am ready for that feeling again.! I truly believe the band will be the best thing to happen in my life and I plan on to use this tool as best I could. I have my surgery date for Oct 23rd 2012. Wish me Luck!! <3

[creatingpeacedaily 6]

I am an emotional eater/food addict. I come from a long line of addicts and gravitated toward food to deal with "stuffing my emotions" or blunting them. Both sides of the family tend to be shorter, wider women and I followed suit. I am trying now to deal with me feelings in a more constructive way....it's ok to feel emotions, bad ones go away, I do not have to eat them away....will always be a struggle though, but I CAN AND WILL savor this new journey to the new me! Have an awesome week everyone.

[crystalschnarr 7]

I am just starting this journey and new chapter in my life. After reading some of the different threads on here and in some of the other forums I think I have started to understand some of the reasons behind my weight problems. I have always been heavier than other people I knew. All the pictures from my child hood show a child that would be considered obese by today's standards but was considered healthy then. I was bullied all through school until I moved in with my dad and started attending a more rural school. My child hood friend's father molested me and I never came forward because I didn't want to lose the only real friend I had so I have carried it with me only telling one other person before today. I was taught to clean my plate as a child and was given all the Cookies and Snacks I wanted. I have family members on both sides that are obese to morbidly obese. I did lose close to 30 pounds on my own in 2010 while my husband was deployed but quit my diet and work out when he came home. I am so self-concious that I don't even exercise in front of my own husband who talks every day about how much he loves me as I am. I work 10 hour days 4 days a week and spend the rest of the time running erands and taking care of my family. I have a hard time making time for my self. On top of those 10 hour days at work I drive almost 2 hours round trip each day when I commute to work. I am hoping that this is going to be that one tool that will help me to achieve my goal. I am tired of being in pain and being ashamed of my body. I am ready for some change.

[LizzyWildflower 7]

I'm fat because I'm an addict. I realize now that I'm completely addicted to fast food and high fructose corn Syrup. I can't go a day without it.

Other than that, I hate to sweat. I'm a girly girl but I'm a total couch potato. If I don't have to get off my butt, I won't.

Being almost 500 lbs is torture though. Make no mistake. Everything is hard at this size. The pointing and staring is humiliating enough. But anyway. There it is. :/

[general_antiope 189]

I love this topic.

I'm fat for many reasons listed by others above.

• My mother has been undiagnosed bi polar all my life and has anxiety which I think I have inherited...not the diseased but certainly I've had serious anxiety crop up that I handle on my own
  
• My mother grew up deprived with no food and as a result she rarely cooked and we always ordered out. pizza, cheesesteaks, or horribly non nutritious food to cook.
  
• My mother has been overly critical of me and my weight/appearance since I was five. I'm never good enough as I am.
  
• My mother went through decades of therapy and realized she would feed me to shut me up, or occupy me, as I was an active child. The family scapegoat, the extrovert. Food was taught to me as a hobby.
  
• Molestation as a child
  
• Abandonment issues - birth father, step father
  
• Childhood abuse
  

Food is my boyfriend, according to my therapist. pizza Hut never lets me down. It's always the same joy. The taste is emotional for me, food fills an emotional need for me to feel secure, safe, loved, all of which you can see from the bullet points above. I can diet, I can plan, I can exercise. I can't stay with it, because food is my mother, father, best friend, etc.

When I'm banded, and the band is filled properly, the mental chatter disappears. I cried the first time I realized it was 4pm and I'd FORGOTTEN to eat all day. I never felt freer in my entire life than when I was banded and filled properly. I could make good decisions FOR ME, I could love ME, I could make myself safe and secure all because my hunger trigger (also probably my trigger for love, security etc) was silenced. I had no screaming hole to fill. I simply had vague hunger and the need to nourish myself.

[kassie2012 7]

I am fat because when it comes to food, I don't possess self control. yeah I could be on a diet and lose a couple of stone. But then I could have a stressful day at work and all i'd want to do is say" f*** it let's have a few beers" then order a massive takeaway!! (my husband is easily led in this! but he's not overweight) I still want to do this but now I physically can't. this band is the only thing in the whole world that will stop me from overeating. it is my saviour! sometimes I get frustrated when my husband is sitting there with a huge pizza covered in mayo (it smells so good!) and i'm sitting there with my soup! but after I think 'i'm glad I couldn't eat that now, all those calories!! the way I feel about food is changing.. i'm now eating to live, not living to eat. it's been tougher than I thought and I've got a way to go but i'm very excited about the future and the new, slimmer, happy me I LOVE MY BAND!!!!!!!!

[BacktoDez 14]

Hmmm…Why am I fat…

Let’s see, I am an active person, work a full time job, have kids and pets to take care of, remodel houses (flip), involved in charities, etc…I always have something going on, so why am I fat?

l Boredom…with as busy as I am how could I be bored? OK, I’ll be honest. My job is boring. So I sit at a desk in an office with bunches of people around for 8 -10 hours a day and all I do is gather data and make fancy reports. BORING! But Hey, they money it good! And I can certainly snack and type at the same time.

lBoredom – I can remember when I was a child, coming home from school, nothing to do (my mom wouldn’t let us play outside while she was in one of her depression episodes), but attach the frig, that is when there was a frig to attack (I grew up pretty poor and usually there was no food to attack but junk)! Yippee! And that junk tasted so good! And I could eat and do homework at the same time. And with 3 siblings, it kept us out of mom’s hair so she was happy and not yelling! WIN - WIN

lBoredom – I find that I still do the same thing, only now I come home from work, pet the pups, and attach the frig which is always full (a survival technique learned in early life I’m sure)! After a long day of being bored and everything being so bland…all that tasty food exciting all those brain neurons! Wonderful!

lBoredom – I don’t have any friends really (I'm way to busy) and those that I do are always so busy, we have to have a “date” to get together. Besides, maintaining friendships take so much energy! AND the kids expect me to be home, cooking something for dinner & taking care of them (who cares that they are 19 & 23)…and the dogs have to be fed. And after sitting in that small cube all day consuming all those carbs, who has the energy to really do anything anyway? And it is so easy to just sit in front of the TV or read a book with a nice bowl of soothing ice cream, yum!

And then one day I was listening to the radio, and this silly person was saying that “boredom is only a state of mind”. Golly, he obviously doesn’t live my life. How could I be bored if I am so busy? So why is it that I am so “bored”? Who said life was supposed to be exciting? Who said it wasn’t? (me!) So let me think back. When did I have a time that I wasn’t bored and eating and I was skinny (I hate that term – makes me think of those silly models that wear skin on their bones then cover it with some cloth and try to make us think we should look like them – thank you Cosmo!). Oh, I know. I was outside riding my horse or my bike, having fun. I was playing and chasing butterflies and catching snakes, fun! I was swimming in the lake and diving off my horses back and looking for crawdads at the bottom, fun! I was in the sun, with no cares in the world, fun!

So, now I know why I’m fat. I am an adult. I have responsibilities, bills to pay, people to take care of and I am busy! I have no time for me. I have no time for fun. I am bored!

[LuuLuu 62]

I like to eat and I hate to move.

I also eat with every emotion except nervousness - but eventually nervousness gives way to relief and then I make up for lost time.

I do not have a physical condition and I am responsible for everything that has gone into my mouth.

[Jessica C 34]

What a soul searching question, Why am I fat? I could come up with many excuses but then I still know the truth.

I am fat because in my life I have not made good choices for myself. As a mother I put my husband and children before my needs. Which means that I have neglected myself. But I am not blaming them at all because my obesity is my fault. I have so much knowledge that I freely share with people such as recipes where you use applesauce instead of oil, or splenda instead of sugar, or how to Fake Fry chicken without grease. When I really think of it, the bottom line is that I am fat because of my choices.

I have not been banded yet (though I am trying to get banded). I am ready mentally, physically and emotinal for my weight loss journey to start. All of the diets, shakes, pills, or drops have always resulted in the same manner. I lose weight then gain it back. It is a yo-yo cycle of emotional let down from success and then failure. I have made a choice that is for me now. I have admitted that I have a problem. I am morbidly obese, not healthy, and being held back from living my life with my children and husband. I am ready to stop being on the sidelines and watching my life pass by me. I am ready to take charge of my life and my fat.

I maybe fat for many reasons. But I will conquer my obesity. As long as I keep trying I will never fail. I will NEGU (Never Ever Give Up)

[olliensys 53]

Why am I fat, well that requires some thought because in my mind I don’t feel I eat that much. I never really considered this question before because I have been in denial for many years. I grew up thin and eating out was a once in a while treat. We were very poor at times and had to eat at food banks. I can remember going to live with my grandmother who only cooked soul food and had not one, but two refrigerators full of food. As far as I can tell, my weight issue started when my ex-husband began calling me fat and making me feel bad for eating. I was 5’5 135 pounds at the time and did not see that it was actually him that had the problem not me. Anyway, I use to get 3-4 McDonald’s cheeseburgers and hide and eat them in the closet. I used to hide food I did not even particularly want in places all over the house and eat them when he could not see. That marriage only lasted barely 2 years but the damage was done. Once I left him, I noticed that I was back to my average weight after having ballooned to about 170. After having a normal weight of 145, my weight crept up slowly from emotional eating. I was about 180 until I got pregnant and had a severe case of morning sickness that had me hospitalized for the first few months and then on an IV and strong medicine for the rest of the pregnancy. I lost 25 pounds during the pregnancy and I remember watching pizza commercials in the hospital dreaming about eating. I would even write down a list of foods I would have after the pregnancy. Eventually with the help of Zofran dispensed in my hip 24hours a day, I was able to eat a little bit everyday. In the end, I believe that not being able to eat and being so hungry has been my downfall. After I had my perfect little girl I ate like tomorrow was not coming LOL. I have to say, that I had this same situation 10 years previously and I was struggling to keep my weight of 96 pounds but the baby could not and passed away when I was 4 ½ months pregnant. I know how it feels to be hungry but unable to eat or even swallow for many months at a time. That fear has caused me to gain almost 100 more pounds and develop diabetes. I also notice that I take after my grandmother and only feel good when my fridge is jammed packed full of food. I am taking this banding opportunity to focus on ME and my health.

[tamirn 90]

I'm fat because I eat large portions and I don't exercise as much as I should.. I've gotten comfortable with being fat but I don't wanna be fat anymore so I'm doing something about it<3

[Lady VS 1,147]

Did any of you come from a fat family? My Grandmother was morbidly obese, my father is morbidly obese and both my brother and I have been obese all of our lives..we both weighed over 9lbs at birth and were both born at 7 months. My mother however was a toothpick, maybe 100 lbs ( wet)

Can some of it be genetics coupled with the fact we like food?

My husband was so suprised to hear I wanted this surgery he has told me for years I eat like a bird..so how come Im obese? Could it be I just ate the wrong foods, not large quantities of food? Who knows..maybe a little of both..all I know is I feel like Iam finally getting this ( fat) monkey off my back. Thank God for my band!!!

When I saw this question, genetics was the first thing that came to my mind. I have always been chunky since I was a kid. How do I know? Well, we have lots of pictures to prove it. The fat genes run deeply on both sides of my family. I did try and control how big I was in high school because I was tired of being made fun of in middle school. I wasn't severely or morbidly obese until adulthood but I was always overweight. After high school and going to college is what did it for me. Meeting new friends and going off campus to have lunch was the BOMB!!! I loved my new friends because they never judged me or made fun of me. We all liked the same things and hung out all the time for lunch, dinner sometimes and the weekends as well. Food became apart of what we did as a social gathering. Then of course we did the same things on my mom's side the family. Party, party, party and with parties there is ALWAYS food and drinks. I also learned that I'm an emotional eater on top of my genetics. Like others have mentioned, I eat when happy, sad, mad, depressed, excited, and sometimes for no reason at all. I love food. Why have I changed? Because I hate medicine and got tired of hurting from this osteoarthritis and plus I don't want diabetes like my mom and now deceased father. I absolutely refuse to die a slow death due to my health. Plus, I have two beautiful daughters that I would love to see get married one day and have families of their own. They are my motivation and in spite of my genes, I will not be morbidly obese ever again. Yes, I'm still overweight, but at least I'm healthy and I will continue to make healthy choices whereas in the past, I didn't.

[rmalikone 108]

Did any of you come from a fat family? My Grandmother was morbidly obese, my father is morbidly obese and both my brother and I have been obese all of our lives..we both weighed over 9lbs at birth and were both born at 7 months. My mother however was a toothpick, maybe 100 lbs ( wet)

Can some of it be genetics coupled with the fact we like food?

My husband was so suprised to hear I wanted this surgery he has told me for years I eat like a bird..so how come Im obese? Could it be I just ate the wrong foods, not large quantities of food? Who knows..maybe a little of both..all I know is I feel liI'mIam finally getting this ( fat) monkey off my back. Thank God for my band!!!

My Folks were born in (F)1918 an (M)1920 and I think that the fat stigma was not quite the same. Boths side did not have weight problems early, but with age they got heavier, on dads side he followed his father genetically speaking and had a bottom belly and I also follow that trait(my brother did not). I don't ever remember their weight being and issue and I am not that much heavier than my dad, both of us wear 46-48 waist (we are wide even when thinner). They came through the the Great Depression then WWII.

My grandparents on my mothers side were born (GF) 1868)(GM) 1877

So what I think is; that staying alive was the main focus and they ate anything that they could by way of employment,and small family food plots.

[Gardnergirl2 96]

I feel my obesity is mostly genetic. I don't eat large quantities and haven't for years. I exercise almost daily. Obesity has run amuck in my family ( both sides) for years. I feel the band will help me by keeping me satisfied with small amounts of food. I am not an angel when it coes to eating, but I really do make pretty healthy choices for the most part.