Why are YOU Fat?

[BJean 16]

Angie parents don't get a book on parenting when they have kids. They are, afterall, just people - some with less smarts than others. You probably already know that their problems are probably within themselves, and it isn't really about you. They just take it out on you because they can. But that's no excuse and there's no reason why you have to put up with it. It is very empowering to cut the ties that truly bind you up. Good for you! We can't pick our blood relatives but we can pick our friends. And best of all, we can learn from our relatives mistakes!

[Angie911 0]

Brandy...what is the name of that book you are reading? I have a his hers and ours kinda family no true 100% sib,,,2 half bro and half sister,,,3 4 step brothers. Wasn't really raised with any of them and the times spent with them have been good too.

BJean,,,ohh my you are so right cause I would of loved a book when we had our first,,,who is 20. I was the paranoid mom that boiled all the Water to rinse his soothers to faceclothes....*sigh I was a whole lot calmer with the second....ha ha

[brandyII 9]

Angie the book I was reading that was dealing with family members etc... when it comes to "your weight" is called Bountiful Women by Bonnie Bernell and it was great, I loved it and made me feel good to read!!!

I also am still finishing "Self Esteem Comes in All Sizes" by Carol Johnson, and both those books and similar ones you can order off of Amazon.com, I tried my local books stores, the major chains but non carry them in their "self help" or woman's issues sections.

We deal with so much cr*p as overweight people in our society and getting it from our family, even if they do it in a "caring" way can be seen as an insult or a "I'm never good enough" type feeling and it's good to get over it and/or learn how to deal with them!! good luck brandyII:smile:

[Angie911 0]

Thanks Brandy...I am going to see if i can order it online.

[jntedwards 0]

I wish I knew why I have to fight this battle. I guess I just love food and love to eat. It's a form of "entertainment" for me. It seems everything in my life, socially and otherwise revolves around a big family lunch or a birthday dinner, or a night out to a new restaurant, etc... We don't ever have people over that food is not involved - EVER.

I think that it wouldn't matter what I ate if I would make the time to exercise! So I think I'm fat not just because I love food but also because I don't work it off. I was a college athlete and I swore off exercise when I graduated. I truly hate it.

[Mariposa 0]

I wanted to respond to your blog, because my husband isnt fat (yet) lol, but he has GAD/ Panic Disorder and depression. Well we just discovered he is hypoglycemic which resembles GAD/Panic disorder. Ask yourself this, do you crave carbohydrates or sugar or junk food all the time. When you sit and eat, even after eating a good amount of food, still crave maybe something sweet? If you go more then2-4 hours with out food, does it bring on a panic attack? If you say yes and yes and yes.. get your blood sugar checked! You may have hypoglycemia. And if you do.. you must eat 6 small meals a day. 3 decent balanced good meals and 3 snacks.. you can never allow yourself to get hungry. Also, a multi vit, flax seed or fish oil and vit B complex is very important. Anyway I wish you well...

[maren 0]

Hey,

What a great thread! I've always tried to avoid this question and whenever my weight got really out of control I've hidden away wearing only black clothing and not seeing my friends & family. I thought while I was like this I'd rather stop existing because I always felt that this was not the real Me.

So why am I fat? (First time I've ever called myself that)

I was a little bigger than the other kids in primary school when I grew up. Not much bigger at all, looking back now I think I was totally normal and would have grown out of it but it was enough for some stupid kids at school to invent names and bully me for 4 years. I don't think I ever got over that. My mum tried to help by telling me not to eat this or that but I think that just started my life of yoyo dieting.

When I went to a different school in grade 5 I was so scared that the bullying would continue. It didn't but I was always worried about my weight even at times when I was what I would now call skinny. In my mind I was always fat and wore clothes to cover up. It took me until I was about 18 to get some self esteem and it helped that I always had quite a few guys interested in me so slowly I started to believe that I was actually quite attractive.

But my life of yoyo dieting had been set in motion and I didn't know how to stop it. I lost my first 20lbs when I was about 14. At 21 I moved to Australia, away from any family and the uni and party lifestyle didn't help to keep the weight down. For the first time it got really out of control (240lbs) and I had 2-3 miserable years. Then I lost 72lbs before my wedding in 2004 and felt great and promised myself never to let things get that bad again. For one year I was myself again but after having 2 miscarriages, my parents divorce and loss of the entire family fortune after a bad investment and my father's thankfully failed suicide attempt (all in one year) I started to gain bit by bit back.

At the end of 2005 we tried again for a baby and things went well this time but I went by what everyone seems to say that during pregnancy you can let go and eat what you want. I did and gained 120lbs in 38 weeks. A lot of it was Water but after the birth I was still left with a huge amount to lose.

So since 2006 I've tried to become Me again losing about 110lbs in 21 months and then finally getting lap band surgery last month to never regain the weight that I've lost.

Now I've had 2 weeks on Optifast and 1 week after surgery and I'm down to 209lbs. I can't wait to get down to 167lbs and finally Celebrate being me again.

[wickedme 0]

Seems we all have so much in common for so many different reasons.. I grew up with two loving parents, the youngest of 8 kids. It deffinately wasn't a perfect childhood, but I truly have nothing to complain about, except that the only thing in abundance besides my mothers love was food. She and my dad both lived through the depression and went without a lot. My dad had acres of garden that he tended himself with a little help from some of us kids so there was never a shortage of fresh vegetables or fruit in summer and fall. We ate balanced meals finished off with homemade Cookies, pies and other deserts. I was always active as a child, and not fat, but always taller and bigger then all the other girls till High School when I stopped growing up and started growing out.. My real weight issues started around my early 20's. Random sleeping habits, late night meals, partying.. I gained and lost the same 40 lbs reapeatedly till a few years after my daughter was born, then it wasn't so easy. I started having female problems and became less active. I had my son after months of bedrest at age 31 and everything went to hell after that. I went through a depression because of the situation with my step daughter and her problems, money problems, health issues and just general unhappiness. Anti depressants made me worse, cooking made me feel great. I had always loved to cook, but it became and obsession. I was stuck at 240, but dealing with it. After a much needed hysterectomy I gained another 47 lbs from HRT.. I have been trying to get this weight off since 06 and just can't seem to keep it off. My health is really taking a toll and I don't know the person I am becoming.

To summarize..

I was taught to clean my plate,,

I love food and eat almost anything,

I don't know how to eat just a little,

I do great during the day, but if I don't go to bed early I will pick for hours..

I don't eat when I'm sad or mad, but unconciously reward myself with food for many different reasons.

I have no control over what bad genes I am passing to my children, but want to teach them how to be healthy so they don't have to look forward to this later.

[Carrie_C 9]

It seems like a lot of us were made to clean our plates. My Dad was very strick about it.

[Sooverit! 1]

I was the thin one in the family so my mother emptied the other plates on to my plate to fatten me up when the others were finished. she always said "God bless her appetite". I was proud I could eat more than everyone.....and still be thin. Not after age 40 tho~

[anillacookie 0]

Yeah the nighttime eating...That's a thought. I started in my first marrage. It was stress I tell you! Eating at night calmed me down.It really is like a drug. I gained 100lbs in 6 months. I don't do it so much anymore. I eat in sceret now in the car when I'm by myself. That's still a problem.:thumbup:

[Nobody's Girl 0]

I was always an slim, attractive girl when I was little. This story may sound silly, but from kindergarden through 4th grade I was very popular in school. Me and my two girlfriends were the "top dogs", and they were very beautiful, outgoing, well known, and popular. We played with the popular boys and got everything easy, life was great! But then the summer between 4th and 5th grades I guess I started to hit puberty or something, because I plumped up. I wasent really big or anything, but I was just a little chubby. When I came back to school in August to start the 5th grade I had gone from most popular to least. None of the 'cool' (shallow) kids wanted to talk to me anymore, they ostracised me. The only people who would talk to me were the least popular kids in my class (who were, as it turns out way nicer and smarter). From that moment on through high school it seemed I wasent wanted by anyone, and it was devestating to me. I had very low self-esteem and would eat because I was depressed about my weight after that. Looking back now, I know that I shouldent have been so vain and shallow, but I was 9 years old and didnt know any better. It seems insignificant, but I will always remember that moment, where it all headed south.

Since then, I have always been a very active girl who loves the outdoors and working out. I enjoy physical jobs, and have worked on turkey farms, sod farms, landscape companies, feed mills, cattle ranches, etc. Everyday for me is full of extreme physical labor (and I enjoy it!), and yet, I am still overweight.

Part of the problem is that I love to cook. I was raised by my great-grandmother who was a widowed farmer's wife with 13 kids. So she knew how to cook! She taught me to cook everything from scratch and in large quantities. So, while I literally never eat out, eat junk food, processed food, or sweets, I am still big from all the home cooked meals that I make. I LOVE to cook & eat, it makes me feel safe and happy, I just need to eat less!

Edited July 23, 2008 by Nobody's Girl

[kizzie 1]

I was always slim too. I was 110 pounds right up until I hit 22. Then over two years I gained over 100 pounds. I had no energy, was tired all the time and became a recluse. My sports suffered and my social life too. I hid away. The doctor couldn't give me any reason for my gaining so much weight. He just said "eat less, exercise more". At the end of the two years I was severely depressed. I had to move doctor and my new one immediately tested me for 'hypothyroidism'. My thyroxine levels were so low he was afraid of heart complications too. I had probably only gained a small amount of that initial weight due to my thyroid. It was the comfort eating and depression that really did it. I went from a size 8 to elasticated waists and my dad's jumpers. I had no idea I had ballooned to a size 20! My Mum finally persuaded me to go shopping for clothes. She had been so worried for my health mentally and physically but it is very hard to boost a depressive. I was so hard on her. I was so upset that I had to go to the 'fat shop' They measured me at a 24!!!. SO I headed to Marks and Spencer. I was a 20/22 in there. Nicer clothes too. it was devestating.

So it has been 11 years since. I have slowly gone up each year to my highest of 251. Going through the cycles of "well i am fat now .. I will put up with it.. and I love food so much I am not going to deprive myself. I deserve to eat what I want".. to "I am not going to a school reunion fat. I am not going to buy from "evans or lane bryant again'.

Since being banded 5 weeks ago I have lost almost 21 pounds and for the first time in YEARS am out of the 100kgs!!. This morning I got on the scale and weighed in at 99!!! hurrah!..

on with my life. For me the depression really lifted when I realised that the band was an option for me... and that I didn't have to fail at ANOTHER diet!!.. I am in such a happy place!!

Am so looking forward to being the new improved 'old' me!!!

[PangeaOne 0]

I don't think that's sick! You have taken survival methods with you and incorporated them into your current life. Although I haven't had your experience I have similar feelings about being anxious if I feel like I may not have the opportunity to have whatever the food is before me. The end result is that I struggle with Portion Control.< /p>

I am curious about your disbanding due to erosion. I have a history of GERD. Does this pose a problem and lead to disbanding?

[CMF 0]

I've always been big.

Charles