Why are YOU Fat?

[shirley77519 0]

I am one of the most sensitive people that I think that God created. I cry if I am happy, sad, I find something poetic in everything and that even makes me more emotional. I say this only to say this......

Once I was banded then and only then did I learn why I was obese. I am an emotional eater. I am not sure how one feels that suffers from mental illness BUT right after the surgery I think I have an idea.

I found myself in such a depressed state because I had NO outlet for my problems.

I would feel sad...couldnt eat!!

I would feel happy...couldnt eat!!

The days of jumping in my car and getting a "bite" to eat just to be alone was over...I learned after the banding that it was not the alone time I was craving..it was that "comforting bite" that I needed.

Things are much better not...it has been 1 1/2 years and each day I am learning about myself and just how I got to be obese...but with every negative thing I learn, I am finding out just how special I am and how strong I have became.

Huggs, Shirley

[Artale NY 0]

I am one of the most sensitive people that I think that God created. I cry if I am happy, sad, I find something poetic in everything and that even makes me more emotional. I say this only to say this......

Once I was banded then and only then did I learn why I was obese. I am an emotional eater. I am not sure how one feels that suffers from mental illness BUT right after the surgery I think I have an idea.

I found myself in such a depressed state because I had NO outlet for my problems.

I would feel sad...couldnt eat!!

I would feel happy...couldnt eat!!

The days of jumping in my car and getting a "bite" to eat just to be alone was over...I learned after the banding that it was not the alone time I was craving..it was that "comforting bite" that I needed.

Things are much better not...it has been 1 1/2 years and each day I am learning about myself and just how I got to be obese...but with every negative thing I learn, I am finding out just how special I am and how strong I have became.

Huggs, Shirley

Great going !! every day 1 step closer to your goal !!

[charlottesweb91 0]

Why is Charlotte FAT???

I am fat because I eat when I am depressed. And I eat to Celebrate. And I eat when I am happy. And I eat when I am sad. And I eat because I am bored.

Any questions?

[skeeks 0]

This thread has been amazing and i thank you all for your input. I am 320lbs today and have been fat for most of my life. I started to gain weight around 10 yr old and have not stopped over eating since then. I am a closet eater and love to be alone with my food, its my comfort.

There are many reasons for the "why", but at this stage in my life, i am more interested in the "how" in regards to losing the weight and living my life. I have started looking for a psychologist with specialized training/experience with addictions and behavioural modifications in hopes of extra support after my surgery, Feb.22nd.

I feel like i know so many of you. Reading all of these posts, from as far back as 2005 is like reading a diary of my life. Its nice to know that I am not alone!!!

Thank you :cry

Jill

[Rubyjade 2]

Because I am obsessed with food and eating. Because too much was never enough. Because I was happy or sad or angry or bored. Because I have a food addiction and ate enormous amounts of very high calorie food. Because I got virtually no exercise.

Post band I realize those mental fixations don't go away. That was my biggest misconception about the band. It brought my emotional obsession screaming blindly in my face. I am working on it and am slowly getting there, thanks to the most amazing husband a woman could wish for, who has alcohol addiction issues and is almost 10 years in to winning his battle. The two are so similar and we share many thoughts and feelings about our addictions. He is a god send and is by my side every step of the way.

[ebony868 0]

My obesity started living in a household where meals meant happiness! My grandmother cooks 4-5 meals per day and she's happiest when "her girls" are sitting around the table laughing, talking and of course EATING. She loves to see us enjoy her food and we love to eat it.

When I say meals I don't mean a little baked chicken. A typical day:

Breakfast: Ham and cheese Oml, Homemade Biscuits, OJ and Milk

Brunch: Homemade Muffins and fruit

Lunch: Bacon, Lettuce & Tomato Sandwich, Homemade Soup

Snack: Butter Pound Cake or Peach Cobbler or Sweet Potato Pie

Dinner: Smothered chicken, Greens, Sweet Potatos, Corn bread

Desert: One of those Snacks above

Let's not forget the sugary Kool-aid with each meal!

Equating food with happiness has made me an emotional eater. I have gained 10 - 15 lbs per year over the last 10 years trying to eat my way to happiness. Angry - eat, sad - eat, anxious - eat, bored - eat...oh and let's not forget happy - You have to eat when you're happy.

I have changed this behavior before my surgery. I eat when I'm hungry, but at least two balanced meals per day. Still awaiting approval and have lost 7 lbs.

[Betsyjane 2]

My 2 BIGGEST weight gains were after quitting smoking, and after taking prednisone.

[katieo 0]

I feel that lots of things have contributed to my eating problem, low self esteem, anxiety,depression etc. It all started when I was a kid. I was a fussy eater and my parents were poor so food was limited in the house, we had enough but not many treats like most of my friends houses.

When i started school my weight was normal but as we were so poor I had to have free school meals and as I was sooooo fussy i very rarely liked anything on the menu so I would virtually starve all day, to come home ravenous and ram anything i could find into my mouth, which usually happened to be bread. After afew years of eating like this I began to fear hunger and would eat whenever I could regardless of wether I was hungry or not.

I began to put on extra weight when i was 7 and by the time i was 8 I was chubby.

We went on holiday around this time and went to see a 'friend' of my fathers in his caravan. My dads 'friend' asked to show me around his caravan/trailer and when we went into his room he attempted to do things he really should not have(sure you can guess)luckily I was a force to be reckoned with I wasn't having any of it and got out of the room pretty quickly.

It's only recently that i have realised how much of an effect this had on me. It left me feeling like there was something wrong with me for someone to want to do something like that to me. I felt I couldn't talk to anyone about it so had noone to tell me any different.

I was a beautiful little thing but this experience left me not wanting attention from anyone outside the home(particularily male) so perhaps I felt that my extra fat would protect me.

At the same time I learnt how much of a comfort food could be and at this time in my life I desperately needed it.

Over the years food became my best friend and my body the enemy and my education suffered immensely. I became very depressed and once tried to take my own life which amazingly noone ever found out about despite me necking 15 paracetomol. I suffered silently putting on a big front.

By the time I reached 15 I was fed up that all of my friends had had a boyfriend or two and noone was interested in me, so I began to diet. At first with success, lost around 30lbs only to put it back on again when I lost focus.

I have since been on various other diets and and my weight has yo-yo'ed, as a result I've become completely obsessed with food. Dieting has been one of the major contributors to my problem as it threw me completely out of sink with my body, made me very critical of myself and left me feeling that if I am not slim I don't deserve to be happy. After dieting for so many years I got to the point where I was putting my whole life on hold until I was slim. Even simple things like buying clothes, i didn't want to buy any until i was slim which is ridiculous! All of these ideas kept me in a binge eating rut that i am still struggling to get out of now.

Sorry to have babbled on for soooo long but it was good to get all of that out.

xkatie

[NN32 0]

This is a fantastic thread. It is frustrating when you know why you are fat and then nobody believes you. I have a binge eating problem, and I fear the feeling of hunger. When I start eating I can't stop and even when I tell myself to stop I sometimes cant. I have to verbally tell me to stop, and then try to listen. I have spoken to my psychologist during evaluations for surgery, but she said we all do that to some degree. The nutritionist told me to make a different room in the house my favorite, my husband says I just eat big portions, (thats is because I don't usually binge in front of him). My skinny family doesn't understand why I cant loose weight. Its a battle I am fighting all by myself. I had my first almost vomiting experience after my first fill when I started to binge on cold macaroni. Now when I eat I have to try and convince myself that I will not get hungry right away, or that a Cereal bar is enough for me to eat. I was banded 12/7 and have lost 25 lbs, but 45 lbs since I started the journey. I am trying to be the best I can, and I know the band is a tool and I am using it that way, and have incorporated excercise into my normal week, so far so good, but this is really hard, especially when someone says "you can eat that?" or tells me "you cant eat that". I want to scream. I hope you are all well on your journey and thaks for listening.

[DynamoMini 1]

Why am I fat? :omg:

Boy, I've been in therapy for years, uncovering my issues. It is like peeling an onion. Sometimes the skin just falls off and other times I really have to dig, and it comes off uneven and smelly. One thing I do know is that food is a lie, not the answer, and fat is the result.

I think I am fat because I convinced myself when I was a toddler that food was the comfort I needed. Food was survival. My eating seemed to please the people around me and was reinforced with smiles and "good girl." (However, I wasn't "fat" at this time, just a little short and round)

Then in early adolescence I was told over and over again that I would be FAT if I kept eating so much. But eating was how I gave myself comfort, used to make others happy, and helped me feel safe. When there was tension at home I ate to feel better. Like fat could protect me from the scary world. A self-fulfilling prophesy I gained weight. (I gained 10 - 15 pounds above a normal weight )

Into adolescence ( I got my period at age 10) I was scared of my sexual development and found that fat covered my desirability. I was shy and didn't want to be different from others. I was desparately lonely and frightened. If I was round my breasts weren't so big. Parents started an all out campaign to get rid of the extra weight. I dug in my heels, couldn't understand the dramatic change from "You're gonna get fat," to "You are fat," "OMG you embarrass us!" Dad was a pediatrician and mom was a sociallite. I felt ashamed, ignored and unloved. I ate for comfort and protection. Eating was the only mechanism that I knew. (My weight went up another 30 - 40 pounds, especially documented with weekly weigh-ins at my father's office - another type of torture, but attention.)

The tension of an early adolescence seemed to ease in teen life. More freedom of movement and expression. The constant focus on my weight eased when mom got pregnant. I went on a starvation diet and got down to "normal." Which I maintained into college. Still emotionally clueless, ripe for frequent gain/loss patterns. (After college I was within 20 pounds of "normal")

The rest of my life followed the similar patterns of my early life, however, the problems were bigger and longer and so was the eating. Several diets were attempted, WW, Nutrisystem, Optifast, Weight Loss Center, each time losing some and gaining more.

At age 40 I was back to a normal weight after 6 months of Optifast ( from 169 - 120), easiest diet ever, because I didn't have to deal with food. But I living with and alcoholic abusive husband, had two adopted 3 year old sons and a full time job. I ate all those pounds I'd lost and 20 more just to get a sense of safety, security, stability - kind of like ballast for my life.

I divorced the abusive/alcoholic husband and two years later found the love of my life. My first boyfriend, Ira. He loved me like I never been loved and life was great for two years, and then he got really sick. It took 3 years for him to die at age 52, and about 25 more pounds.

Since that time efforts at weight loss seem to work for about 25 - 40 pounds, but now I am around 220. I am 57 have some medical issues that are weight related and am still wanted to feel safe and comfortable.

I have done some positive things for myself.:clap2:

1) Work out 4 to 5 times a week & with a trainer 2xs/wk

2) Retired from teaching (very stressful job)

3) Express my artistic side through painting and quilting

4) Maintain my health through medication, which has brought me here. I believe that I need the banding for support during the rest of my life.

I am an emotional eater, and I know people have been able to get around the banding by eating ice cream, etc. but I have decided that I deserve to have a healthy life. (this is my new mantra)

So that's my story, not unlike the millions of stories out there. I think there is healing in the writing, so thanks for the opportunity.

If I hit a nerve of recognition in anyone, I understand because I see myself if what you share. We are a community of people who have turned to food for comfort and security - but it's been a lie. Food doesn't really make me feel better, or take care of my fears, or cover my sexuality or help me cope with stress.

:rockon: I deserve to live a heathy life.

[wrennbird 0]

My turn to food happened when I was 13 after a mentally ill young man tried to rape me. I was riding my bike home from a horse back riding lesson (in France) when he pulled me off to the side of the road. Fortunately for me, a car came by before too much physical damage was done, and I was able to get back on my bike and race home. That marked the beginning of a very painful period of self consciousness and self loathing (self loathing because I froze and didn't fight back). I turned to food for comfort. My parents tried to do the right things and got me into counceling, but in all honesty, talking about my problems appeased the self loathing, but it didn't cure me of compulsively overeating - nothing has been able to do that....it's up to me. I have since come through a lot of my problems, simply by maturing and achieving some success in my professional and person life. And yet, the one thing I haven't been able to "conquer" is my obsession with putting food in my mouth. Overeating has cost me a lot - my ability to ride my horses, my ability to put on a swim suit and enjoy the Water the way I want to, my ability to sit comfortably in an airplane seat...... :nervous I'm really, really looking forward to sharing some of your all's success with this procedure. I'm through the second hoop, and am now waiting to meet the surgeon.

Thanks for sharing your very personal stories....it helps.

[musicalmomma 1]

Guess I'll chime in here...

I've been fat all my life...fat baby...chubby toddler...plump kid...bulky adolescent...FAT adult. My mom tried to psycho-analyse me till the cows came home!! Years and years of self doubt and wondering WHY I over eat has led me to this conclusion...

I LOVE FOOD!

I over indulged all of my life. I used food to soothe hurt feelings, combat boredom, Celebrate lifes big and little accomplishments, and any other emotions in between. It was just my choice of coping methods. Nothing serious ever happend in my deep dark past. I had two loving parents. I was brought up in love and taught morals and values. So, I guess my 'reasons' are boring, but hopefully since I don't have any deeper psychological attachements to food, I will be able to overcome my obesity with the tool of lapband added to exercise and proper diet.

[Jimboss 0]

I think I know why I am fat. Of course there may be several other reasons but I started gaining weight when I started smoking rascal weed. It seemed I would get horrendous cases of the munchies! Now I smoked pot for at least thirty years on a regular basis and have had the munchies way too many times.

I no longer indulge and if I had to do it all over again, I probably would have done the same thing. Only knowing what I know now, I think I'd munch of carrots instead of 6 double cheeseburgers.

[TheCascadian 1]

I honestly don't know why I'm fat. Frankly, it makes very little sense and I've always felt it was a bit unfair.

I was a very active kid who also ate big. However, I should point out that my friends often ate just as much- despite being half my size.

As an adult I do eat more than my much smaller friends, but not by a huge amount. They will get a cheeseburger, fries and a regular coke. I'll get a double cheeseburger, salad, diet coke. We all finish our meals. I exercsie, they don't. I'm fat, they are thin.

I eat around 3,000 calories a day, high Protein, high fat, moderate carb, low sugar.

If I had to honestly say why I THINK I am fat, it is a strange combo:

1) Excessive hunger/no satiety response, probably due to hypoglycemia/insulin resistance

2) abnormally high carb/calorie absorbtion

I tried Atkins and it worked wonders, even though I was eating 4,000+ calories a day. When the weight loss started to slow down and then reverse, I cut back on the calories. At some point I was just plain starving myself- and exercising. I quit when I started looking and feeling sick.

It was at that point that I realized there was something very wrong with my body, something that was quite literally out of my control and clearly unrelated to food.

I don't have any mental issues with food aside from the "clean your plate" habit many of us learned as children. I don't think about food when I'm not hungry, don't binge, don't constantly eat sweets.

They've tested me for all the thyroid conditions and other problems, but the truth is I'm healthy as a horse. And weigh almost as much as one.

I'm just hoping the lap-band will keep my hunger in check so the exercise can actually have an effect on my weight. I'm excited to get running again, to be doing pushups and situps and weightlifting...

I want out of this fat-prison. Of course, I ate my way here, but I was helped out by some unknown disease factors that allowed me balloon up over 425 pounds before I could even legally drink...

I've been fighting a losting battle with this for the better part of a decade and now I'm going to get some help eating my way back out again.

[Kat817 19]

Banding will help with the insulin resistance too. One of the seminars I went to the Dr. was SO upbeat, he said he fully believed in his lifetime that they would discover a surgical intervention similar to banding, or bypass that would eliminate the (not sure on the spelling of this) gruehlin, a hormone produced by the stomach--which is believed to cause fluctuations in insulin production, and absorption. That something along the lines of what we are doing with banding will be the ultimate CURE for diabetes. He said studies world wide are being done with it, and the results are amazing!! You could see and feel his excitement---and why he became a Dr.

It will definitely change things for you---good luck!!!

Kat