Why are YOU Fat?

[fatme 0]

WOW this is great to see people discussing their problems without trying to find excuses. I too have mental ilness and my main addiction is food. I quit smoking no problem -I don't care about any type of drugs including alcohol. But giving up the way I eat is an on going struggle. I compare it to the person that still smokes even though smoking is literally killing them.Thank GOD for WLS. I am losing slow but what is the alternative? killing myself with food? To me addiction is a fascinating subject.This is a great thread!! It's good to see people question and understand the reasons for their weight.No matter that I have a mental illness or addiction issues I am still the one that put me in this position.

[ladybugchaser 0]

Hi all. Thanks for sharing so much of yourselves in your posts. I am humbled to read your stories.

Why am I fat?

I have never been fat or struggled with it. My mom used to tell me I ate like a bird. That was until the age of 31 when a switch on the back of my neck flipped and I started to eat like a Hoover vaccum cleaner. I packed on 80 pounds in 2 years with no change in diet. I exercise and still gain...23 doctors and 5 years later...I am 36 and almost 100 pounds overweight. I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and IR (insulin resistance) both of which are being put in 'remission' with WLS. I will be self pay, have done all the tests, and have my first mtg with the surgeon next week. I am very excited.

I have to share that the weight gain while painful in different ways...has also been a blessing. I am very empathetic and literally being in someone else's shoes...who is overweight is interesting. How things change for us that once were taken for granted...has been a helpless feeling.

I WILL PREVAIL. I will run a 5k this fall. I will run a half marathon in the spring. :smile2:

PCOS/IR SUCK!!

We can do this!!!

[Carrie_C 9]

I have posted here several times, but I haven't told my story yet. So here I go.

My father raised us to eat everything on our plates, no matter what. But I can't say that I blame him. We were poor, and we had to make due with what we had. We also got food stamps, and of course those never lasted all month. So I guess his thinking was we better eat it while we had it. But he always made sure we had enough food to eat. Then my parents divorced when I was 9. My Mom then married a mean man, who had 2 boys of his own that he was raising alone because their mother had died when they were very young. He was a mean abusive alcoholic who didn't want to keep a job. My mom worked as a cashier in a grocery store and did the best she could. But with 7 of us, food was always very limited. I remember eating plain corn flakes with no milk. (To this day, I can't even stand to look at a corn flake box). We also ate a lot of the same things all the time, like Beans and potatoes. I remember we ate spaghetti so much that one day, I was so sick of it, I just started throwing up. But it seemed no matter how little money we had, there was always enough money for alcohol.

My father was also an alcoholic. I didn't get to see him for about a year after the divorce. I had always been a daddy's girl, and I can still remember how miserable I was that I couldn't see him. But then he got visitation, and I got to see him every weekend. He drank a lot, but he always managed to work and he really was a good father, in spite of the alcohol. (Unlike my step father).

Then when I was 10, I was sexually abused by an uncle, my mom's brother (he was also an alcoholic). It happened in the middle of the night during the summer. After all these years, I can still remember how terrified I was.

Then when I was about 13, my stepdad suddenly straighened up and worked everyday. Things were pretty good after that, not perfect, but certainly much better. He still drank some, but nothing like before. I was never skinny skinny, but I managed to control my weight in my teens. I wore a size 7 for years. I was active. I exercised everyday and I took step aerobics in school, and I loved it. Even though I thought I was fat back then, I had no idea how good I actually looked.

Then I turned 18 and everything changed. I met a guy that was older than me and I fell in love, head over heels in love. The type of love that is not good. Against my mother's better judgement, I moved out and in with him. We hadn't even been together 6 months. But hey, I was 18! I could do whatever I wanted! Who cares what my mother thought?! At home, we had very seldom eaten out. But suddenly I was on my own, and I was going to eat out whenever I wanted, as much as I wanted. So that's just what I did. I remember eating Burger King nearly everyday. We also went to huge buffets all the time. I had never really had a problem controling my weight, so I guess I just thought I would stay the same size. Wrong! Needless to say, my size 7's didn't fit for much longer. The guy I was with, he didn't want a fat girl. He was cheating on me all the time. He would go to strip clubs in the middle of the day. I would call his work and he wouldn't be there. Then when he got home, he would lie about where he had been. He was also very controling, telling me what I could and couldn't do. He also had a porn addiction that I didn't realize before I moved in. (Gee, you would think after 6 months you would really know someone). With all that, my self esteem went downhill fast. I looked really good when we met, I mean model material. Everyone told me so. I guess I was sort of a trophy for him. But then I started gaining weight, and I was no longer his trophy. That destructive relationship lasted about 3 years. By that time, I wan't huge, but I had gained about 30 or 40 pounds by then. Looking back, I know I could have done something about it and gotten back into my size 7's, but I felt like I was huge and that it was hopeless. I also had very low self esteem. I was diagnosed with depression, and the meds I was put on only made me put on more weight.

During the next few years, I continued to struggle with my depression. Looking back, I see now that there were times that I really needed to be institutionalized. I was suicidal. I couldn't keep a job. The only reason I wasn't homeless was because I lived in a trailor that my Dad owned and I didn't have to pay any rent. I would somehow manage to work just enough to keep the utilites paid. I did really well for about a year. I worked everyday and was doing really good. I guess it was because of the meds I was on. But then I don't know what happened. My depression only got worse. I started doing risky things, shoplifting and sleeping around with numerous guys at the same time. I would party all the time. I dated one guy on and off for about 5 years, but it seems the only thing we ever did was party together and have sex. During all this time, my weight just keep getting higher and higher. I think I was in denial about it for a long time. I wouldn't look in the mirror. I would have to buy new clothes every few months because mine no longer fit. My mother was no help at all. All she ever did was put me down. Of course that didn't help with my self esteem.

I did manage to lose about 40 pounds a few years later. But the only reason I lost it was because I was very poor and I didn't have money for food. I lived next to my aunt, and I would go to her house to eat dinner. That was usually the only thing I ate all day. But when I did get a job and was able to afford food, the weight only came back because I hadn't learned any healthy eating habits. I went back to eating out everyday.

I met my husband about 4 years ago, and I was heavy then. But he didn't care. He loved me for who I was and didn't have a problem with my weight. He thought I was beautiful. I really think he saved my life. After I met him, my self esteem improved a great deal. I actually started to think I was attractive. I was able to keep down a job, and my depression was actually so much better. (And still is). We got married about 9 months after we met, but our relationship was anything but destructive.

I know I can't blame my weight on anyone but myself. I am fat because, like everyone else, I eat too much and exercise too little. But I think just about everyone who had a bad childhood or suffered abuse has some type of problem (or has had), no matter if it's weight, drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, whatever. (My sister never had a problem with her weight, but she has turned into an alcoholic and drug addict). But the great thing is we have all overcome our problems and now have this wonderful tool to help us! Thanks for listening!

[DesertRose 0]

I haven't been reading this forum for long, but these posts are examples of why I'm here. You are all very brave for putting your stories out there. Some are/were hard to read and I'm sure they were hard to write. We're all here for the same thing. We are (and in some cases, WERE) fat because of food. Because of what we eat and how much of it. However, the underlying issues are what drove us to become obsessed with food. Food is necessary to our existance and vital to our health. So then, why and how did it become such a wrecker of our health? I'm in the midst of doing some soul searching to try to answer this question and answer the question in the title of this thread. I've learned that the problem is ME and not food. As previously stated...WHAT I eat and how much of it.

Food was never a real issue for me as a child. We didn't have much money, but we always had plenty of good, healthy food because I was raised on my grandparents farm. We grew our own vegetables. Gathered eggs, milked the cow, etc. Always had a side of beef in the freezer or hams in the smoke house, etc. Furthermore, we had 65 acres on which to roam. Building 'forts' and treehouses, riding horses, swimming in the pond, etc. we had lots to do and we burned off any calories we might have consumed on any given day. Grandma baked Cookies once a week or so and every now and then we were treated with a Mountain Dew and Moon Pie when we went to town. Although I did love sweets, I was not obsessed with them and was too busy- having fun- to focus on them.

I was not abused, although, I did have to deal with some unwanted attention from a married man, when I was a mere 13 yrs. old. My God, I was just a baby. But, I was strong and tough - and somehow found the strength to say no. I knew my Grandpa and Dad would kill him. For the most part, I was very sheltered and protected. We had some rough Patches but nothing out of the ordinary.

I didn't play a lot of sports in school but P.E. was a requirement and we had some very tough coaches. I wore a size 3 thru high school and eventually a 5 by the time I graduated. Married my high school sweetheart, and after I had my first baby, I lost all the pregnancy weight but was only able to get down to a 7. I divorced (he told me he was too young to be tied down). Remarried 6 mths later (for fear of being alone), had another child and lost most of that pregnancy weight but by that time I was wearing a 9. Two years later, had another child, packed on more weight than before and could only get down to a size 12. For the next 4 years I fluctuated between a 12 and 14. Divorced again (abusive & controlling husband). Three mths. later moved in with a great guy, to whom I am still married to this day. Had my fourth child 1 yr. later and somehow I managed to get back into the 12's and 14's.

...then I started back to school. I decided to take business and computers so I could work a regular 9-5 job and be home with my kids in the evenings. Got out of school and started to work in an office in 1997. Over the next year I put on 10 lbs. The following year, another 10. I remember, to this day, in 1999, I had to buy my first pair of size 16 jeans. So, here I was, in a sedentary occupation, depressed about my size and I started eating to feel better. I would be so busy getting the kids ready for school in the mornings that I didn't take the time to pack a healthy lunch. I would order cheeseburgers and fries and all those things that I didn't have the money for (before I started working outside the home). In 2002 I quit smoking and ate even more! So...I can safely say that what got me into this mess is OVEREATING and LACK OF EXERCISE.

In 2006 I had to go out and buy my first size 22's. I've maintained that since. But now, with the help of the band, I am getting off my butt and doing something about it. Thank you, so much, for 'listening'.

[docsly 0]

What a very thoughtful person you are. I hope you see success. I only wish the band had been available to me at your age. I have been in the 200s for 21 year and am now 61. I have a blog that might help you as you live this experience. It is healthierdocsly.blogspot.com I am writing more there because I believe it helps me and maybe others.

[Florida Pete 1]

Why am I fat?

I have always been a big kid. Here I am 35 going on 36 in just under two months and I am still one of the biggest people around I know. All through school I was one of the biggest kids and in the 80's and early 90's it was a very different time. You were a big kid if you were just a little over weight which I was. In 1990 I joined the Army National Guard. I was 6'-3" and weighed 210 lbs. I was 17 years old. I was considered to be big and tubby. I went to basic training and when I came home at a lean 180 lbs everyone thought I was to thin. Ok what the hell is what I thought. 210 lbs I was a fatty and then 180 lbs I was too thin. I quickly put on more weight and got up to 230 lbs. Still not all that much over weight but still I had a belly. Now I stayed around 230 for a couple of years until I went back to college and then started in my career field. I got a desk job. Within a year I went from 230lbs to 325lbs. Then over the next few years I slowly added more and more on to get to 375lbs. I ate as much food as I wanted. Me? Give me the combo meal plus another burger. Oh and make sure it was supersized. Exercise? What's that? Sure I got out once in a while with my buddies to play paint ball or go snowboarding but that was my extent for exercise. It wasn't like I was getting out to go walking or jogging. I didn't do any exercise routines. So I really believe it was over eating and laziness. That put me up that high. Then I moved to Washington D.C. for work. My marriage was on the rocks and I actually had a good job turn bad. I slipped into depression and turned to eating more and no longer went out to do anything at all. 375 turning into 400 that turned into 425 and then God only knew after that. I ended up going through a divorce and left my job. Moved to Florida to start a new life. Last Janurary a small group of us at my work decided to do a weightloss group. More of just a support group to cheer each other on. Well it didn't last long but I still wanted to work on losing weight. I had no idea how much I weighed and neither did my doctor. The doctors office didn't have a scale that would weigh over 400 lbs. Hell most of them would only go 350 lbs. So I invested the money and got a scale that went up to 550 lbs. The day I got it was my shock. I stepped onto that scale and I was 485lbs!!! Never before in my life had I weighed so much and I really didn't know what to do. From January til now I started to change my diet and started to walk more. In a short time the excuses came up and I stopped walking but I kept to watching what it was I ate and drank. Today I am down to 469lbs but still so much much more then I had ever wanted to be.

So why am I fat? To me it is a combination of things. First was lack of exercise and over eating. Next was depression eating. With the grace of God and the help of my therapist I have battled and beaten my depression. Now is time to move the next step forward and battle and beat this weight.

[hrshygrl 0]

-Because I eat the wrong stuff a lot of the time.

-Because I have an affinity for most sweet things. When I give into a 'sweet' craving, I tend to go a little overboard. When I go, I go BIG. (pun intended).

-Because I don't exercise enough, and I am lazy. I was working with a trainer about 2 years ago. And I DID lose about 20 lbs when I was with him. I was so into working out, walking, doing my weights and crunches every night. But then I got lazy.

-Because I get depressed when I think about how gross and disgusting I am, and then I just want to sit and be lazy and it's just a cycle.

-I have no motivation.

[alabamagirl1975 2]

You know what Florida Pete.... I am right there with ya. I was always a chubby kid and when I got older, had 2 kids I lost 64 lbs doing nothing but counting calories and exercising - ALL THE TIME. That was back in 1998 - I was down to about 180 and that is the thininst I have ever been. Now, I'm looking forward to keeping it off. I still have not received my surgery date but I'm getting closer!

[drstan1 0]

iwent to a shrink for this but he was way fatter than i was if you love food you are doomed hard to believe but true

[Lana24 10]

I used to think I was doomed, but then I got the band...

[alabamagirl1975 2]

I used to think I was doomed, but then I got the band...

ME TOO! That is why I am so happy that I was approved. I can finally have and live the life I have always wanted. Are you happier now?

[Lana24 10]

Alabama,

My life has changed by leaps and bounds ( already). I am so happy I am sure people want to slap me constantly! But I can't help it, before the band whenever I tried to exercise my level of hunger would increase by 40%...now I can actually work out and watch what I eat, I stopped smoking and now my body is melting. Its only been a few months but I look better today than I have in years, I feel better and I am stronger. I can do exercises today that I could not even dream about 3 months ago. So to answer your question, yes I am happier. Did I mention sex is better too?

Edited September 4, 2008 by Lana24
spelling

[joeyramonesgirl 0]

So, why am I fat? I was always fat my entire life. My family's fat on my dads' side but my mom's side is normal weight. Except for her, she's obese and my dad is a tiny bit overweight, but not much. Me? I'm 230 lbs. Not good.

Unfortunately, I gained a lot of weight in high school due to the fact I was picked on...severely. I was stalked, had death threats stuffed in my locker everyday, got into verbal and physical fights with these three girls. I was between 170-180lbs in high school; when I got out, I was 235.

I lost and gained those 30 lbs since I was 15, about 5 times. Up, down, up, down, up...see the pattern? It also doesn't help when you are diagnosed with severe depression and two types of anxiety disorders and have to take a slew of pills to calm you down. But now, I'm down to one pill, but I still feel a little off. Not really happy or normal, but not depression or anxious either; almost like a middle ground.

I need the lap band because I need to lose weight. I'm always hungry and I hate that feeling. I'm totally willing to do whatever it is, to help me lose weight. I know this is a tool and that's how I'll use it, but not as a crutch or the "end all, be all".

So yeah! That is why I'm fat. Thanks for all the stories on why you're fat. It has helped me realize that more people struggle with their weight than I thought.

Thanks!:crying:

JRG

[Carrie_C 9]

I was always hungry too before being banded. And I constantly craved sweets and fast food. Now I am almost never hungry and don't have those cravings anymore. You will love it!

[neverB4 2]

My mom always had to flour then fry her meats, use fatback and butter in her veggies, then serve with mashed white potatoes. Oh, after she added mayo to them! Bless her though, she still cooks wonderfully (except her increased salt taste buds!!) i was never encouraged to do "outside" activities, meaning school sports, etc. So exercise was never a value to me. I hated PE at school because I was always last to do those timed tasks. And doing them in jeans was harder because of my fear of wearing shorts on my chubby-ridiculed figure at the time. What young girl who was starting to like boys wanted them looking at her blubber butt and legs!!

I learned to love the taste of foods and not learn Portion Control. After 40yrs, I decided it was time to finally learn!!