Why are YOU Fat?

[IndioGirl55 32]

Sheri

I really havent dieted since 99 - that the last time i was thin in my book (180) I have just given up. I hate being deprived.. I just want the control you are taking about - i need something to help me stop eating, You can eat bread - so many of the posters say they can't. I am not a big sugar person - but do eat it some - eating sweets at night is what helps me sleep at night - i am not taking about candy bars - but a pbj sandwhich, I over eat veggies - i am a volume eater - on weight watchers i was always about getting the most food for the least amount of calorieis.. I am not a fast food eater - i perfer home cooked food. I am also a nighttime eater. I am going on Thursday - How long have you been banded and how much have you lost - Thanks for your encourgement Janet

[DynamoMini 1]

Janet (IndioGirl55) - I had the same thoughts of "I can do this myself" or that the band was the "easy" way out. The reality is that the band is only a tool. It won't do the work for you, you do it. What I originally wanted the band for was so that I wouldn't regain the weight I lost. I have been able to lose up to 40 pounds at a time with real food, but then things get crazy and I regain all the weight and more. It is a compulsive eating issue. Volume is controlled by the band, but not food choice. I have heard that people can gain weight with a band by eating ice cream and chocolate. Many people get banded and continue to follow WW or Atkins or South Beach. So really consider that you are making the choice for the surgery to use the band as a dieting tool.

Best wishes to you on your decision. Don't let anyone belittle your effort to get healthy. You deserve a healthy life!

Michelle

[allwright 0]

<p>Why am I fat? Well it started with a fork and spoon becoming my support tools. I went through a divorce, my x-husband took my son and ran, I was on meds that made me eat everything in sight, and I just didn't care!! I re-married and he was bigger than me. I felt as long as he was bigger, I was smaller! Made perfect sense to me! We ate out, I ate less than he did. We ordered pizza, he ate a slice or two more than me. </p> <p>....then it happened! He had to go to Dr. for something and...they weighed him. OMG he only weighed 30 lbs more than me and he was 7" taller than me. Reality set in real quick....he was gaining over the years and I was chasing him. </p> <p> </p> <p>What was I doing to myself and to my health. Oh sure I had the fall and a couple of blood clots and could'nt exercise anymore...and the steroids they gave me for the pre-cancerous lesions made me eat like a horse (foundered horse)!</p> <p> </p> <p>Reality check...I was fast approaching a point of no return. I had to do something and so my research began. It led me to the "band" and my life has changed drastically, for the better. Surprisingly, hubby is biggest supporter!</p>

[IndioGirl55 32]

Allwright - we have something in common being "Wright" :confused:

I am here too cking on what my options are and what to expect. So many stories here I think we can all relate to - as no one execpt an overweight person understands our obsession with food. I don't think about it so much as others do - I don't wake up in the morning thinking about what I can eat today - Its just when i start its hard to stop. Just like that drink for an alcoholic - but the problem is we have to eat - it's getting Portion Control and eating the "wright" things. Like last night, had to p/u grandkids - got on the computer and was on till 9:30 - went to the kitchen to find something to eat (i hadn't eaten dinner or anything since lunch) Drank 2 cups of cran-grape jucie (light) - looked in the fridge and nothing look good or even sounded good, but i was hunger - so ended up eating about a cup of left over rice a roni - and went to bed. couldn't sleep was still hungery got up and made a pbj (plus 3 tablespoons of pb while i was making the sandwich) ate that and slept like a baby - My whole family are night time eaters - I don't think our Mom ever weened us from the bottle ;0) This board and others out there are really good places to get the info on being banded. Good luck on your journey - you will find your answers - Janet

[allwright 0]

Thanks for the support!! I love the post...I laugh no, I really laugh out loud, hysterically at some of the post. I cry, no, I sob at some of the other post. What a bunch we are. To be able to share our past, present and dream of the future together is such a blessing.

No one could make up the stuff we have been through. WoW, when you think you have been through the worse nightmare of a lifetime, someone else tells their story and you know there is worse out there!

Choosing to battle our weight is a postitive step to making a change in our life. Realizing and sharing things that other people would not understand sheds a light of hope.

This is an up-hill battle, I know, but I'm a climber.

Jen

"Happy to be on the Band Wagon"!

[Sher1224 0]

Sheri

I really havent dieted since 99 - that the last time i was thin in my book (180) I have just given up. I hate being deprived.. I just want the control you are taking about - i need something to help me stop eating, You can eat bread - so many of the posters say they can't. I am not a big sugar person - but do eat it some - eating sweets at night is what helps me sleep at night - i am not taking about candy bars - but a pbj sandwhich, I over eat veggies - i am a volume eater - on weight watchers i was always about getting the most food for the least amount of calorieis.. I am not a fast food eater - i perfer home cooked food. I am also a nighttime eater. I am going on Thursday - How long have you been banded and how much have you lost - Thanks for your encourgement Janet

IndioGirl--HOW WAS THE APPT????? I didn't get a chance to get online last night as my husband spent several hours trying to resolve an issue online with something I know nothing about. In response to your questions...in October of 2005 I weighed 248 and was headed up. In Feb. of 2006 I was banded at 239 (My Dr. encouraged me to try to lose some weight before banding because of an enlarged liver...and you lose a couple of lbs. when you do the liquids the week of banding) but basically that is where I started. By Sept. of 2006 I was down to 203 and quit going for fills or dieting or exercising until March of 2007. I hate winter and I especially did not want to diet per say during the holidays...that is usually the time I gain 15-20 lbs. But during all of those months just because I was full faster...I went for my fill in April and checked in at 207 and have now gone down to 204 1/2. My goal for the summer is to get into the 190's. Hopefully the low 190's. If I lose 15-20 lbs a year for the next 3 years I will be happy. I am only 5' 1" tall and will be glad to be 140-160. I do eat bread occassionally...but did not the first three months. Most of the time you need to take the crust off if it is regular bread and usually one slice is about all I can do at a meal..if I eat it....Crackers work much better for me and I love Kavli which is low fat, and tastes great...especially the garlic flavored. Let me know your thoughts on your dr. and what he said. DynoMini gave you some good words....it is a tool...and you don't tend to gain back what you lose as long as you are careful...I don't eat chocolate much at all but I didn't before I was banded so I am not sure about that theory. I do eat several times a day..small meals...and try very hard to have nothing after seven at night. I had to laugh when you said you use sugar to put you to sleep. I used to do that too....and my friends all told me there was no way that would be true.....because sugar is supposed to be a picker upper...but because I never ate much sugar it picked me and then dropped me to sleep . We are a lot alike! Sheri

[IndioGirl55 32]

Hi Sheri

I have spent the last hr on the phone with linksys trying to get my internet connection back. Then a girlfriend called about my appt (she has bypass) and then my daughter in law called... It's almost 9 and haven't really had a chance to sit, cook or eat ,...

Appointment went really well, said i was a good canidate I'm 5'3 244.5 this is my very highest weight . 232 was my highest back in 93. I would be happly at 170/180. I have gotten there before but in about 2 yrs time i put the weight back on. i have to go to 100 doctors before the surgery the cardio, plumnatry, mamogram, pap, colon, sleep apnea, blood , shrink etc doctors... He said getting approved should be no problem with blue cross ca - since my bmi is 43.. the way he talked i could be approved in a weeks time. Gosh it seems like everyone here has had a terrible time getting approved or not covered at all.. Oh yea and he wants me to quit smoking (i am about half a pack a day) I guess his office helps me line up all these doctors - Once all those are done i will be good to go..- he will put me on a diet 2 weeks before to shrink my liver - he asked how long i have been considering this and i told him 2 yrs - and he said i was very knownledgeable about the lapband - THAT THANKS TO ALL THE LADIES HERE and on the other boards. I told him that the internet had a wealth of info on it and thats where i have gathered all my info. He said i would be off work for about a week. So maybe July i will be banded as long as all those doctor appts go ok.

All my friends know that if i eat a big lunch or eat sweets i will get very sleepy.. Sugar is a sleeping pill for me I don't even get a rush -

You are doing good on your weight loss - and the most important is that you haven't but it back on.. Well it's almost 9:30 and i am hungery havent eaten at all today.. and really don't feel like cooking - glad tomorrows friday at lease is casual day cuz it's suppose to be 105 here tomorrow - Here come the summer 110 + temp days (i live in the desert ) I am going to close for now - will ck w/you tomorrow ...

Janet (p.s. couldn't wait to get home and share with you - i like these boards ) my gosh - i tried to post told me i wasn't logged in - thank god i copied this before i refreshed or i would have lost it all... ;(

[beckiet 0]

Similar experience to many....I was in a perfectly good relationship and engaged...when my father passed away from Silent Heart Attacks. I dealt with my father's death by eating...and then that good relationship turned verbally abusive...even to the point of him leaving me stranded at a grocery store because I had bought a $1 scratch off ticket. I dealt with bot things by eating...and eating...and eating. My best consoler was a bag of potato chips and a batch of french onion dip.

My dad has been gone 12 years now. Luckily that relationship ended, without marriage, 10 years ago next month. But...the affects are still here...I put on more than 100 pounds between then and now and I'm not as confident in myself as I once was (was Cheerleader in HS and was Miss "Town" -- sorry it's a small town and I don't want to give away the name; I could give a speech in front of hundreds of people and now I stammer in even small groups).

[IndioGirl55 32]

Welcome Beckie -

Yes we all have had similar experiences and food brings us comfort and a habit - don't know what to do - oh yea i can eat - I also imho think that it is also a control issue for us - we can't control what goes on around us - but we can control/choose to eat. It's I'll show you kind of attidtute. This doesn't read like i want it to - i wish i could find the right words so I hope you get my drift. It's a habit we need to break and with the help of the Lapband - We can do it... This forum will give you alot of support and knowledge - Good Luck in your journey

[DynamoMini 1]

Welcome Beckie -

So glad you are already doing some of the headwork that goes with the bandwork. You'll be miles ahead if you do. Consider this a journey to feeling good about yourself inside and out.

For me, I'm on a roller coaster that goes up and down, but each day closer to where I want to park it. Good luck with your surgery.

[beckiet 0]

Thanks, IndioGirl55 and DynamoMini! I am excited about this journey! I've been following the basics of WW Core plan...all dairy non-fat, etc. and just am not losing...the band will be one helpful tool. Can't wait.

Thanks!!

[IndioGirl55 32]

Carol

CONGRATULATION !!! I was just cking post and see that you have lost 93lbs in less than 1 yr and you are in the 50 yr old club... That's REALLY GREAT. As you can see by the post above I just had my 1st appt w/dr.

In someways it is a little discourging to read the post where people are 6 -9 - 1 yr post op and have only lost a small amount of weight and they say they are following the rules.. It's like why go through all this trouble if the weight isn't going to come off.. I totally understand that it's calories in vs calories out - I think that most of us could be diet doctors cuz we have done them all at one time or another. I am an expert on dieting - its just that I don't follow the rules for long enought so they don't work for me.. Again Congrates!!!

[Sher1224 0]

Dear Janet, Sorry I haven't been able to answer sooner. I know how the 100 Dr. Marathon goes....Luckily I had done almost all of mine before my appt. so I didn't have it quite that bad. I have a daughter-in-law who is considering this procedure and she is at the Marathon point also. I laughed when you said you lived in the desert. I could never do that. Although my parents winter in Phoenix and my dad had a heart attack there a couple of years ago and I flew in on my birthday (Christmas Eve) and swam in the pool at out hotel Christmas night. It was beautiful. I was the only one in the pool because the temp was only 70 and most of the people thought it was too cold. Of course it was 20 here when I left so that was a heat wave to me. (We live in Michigan---the state with four seasons...winter, spring, highway construction and fall). This morning was my morning to weigh...I only get on the scale once a week when I am not seeing the Dr. once a month. I have 3 lbs to go to get below 200 (I weighed 202 1/2). I think it is the mowing in the heat that helps. (Our heat is mid 80's) which is hot enough for me. I am so glad you liked your Dr. It does make a lot of difference if they are encouraging and helpful. I never smoked in my life but my husband did until last July. I know that is a hard habit to break. He just told me in January of that year that he was going to quit smoking on July 16th of that year. He kept saying that to everyone month after month. On July 15th he smoked his last one and never lit another one. I don't know if it was the months of talking himself into it or what but it worked. I do know that it helped his breathing a lot. It sounds like you have a wonderful family and friends who are very supportive of you. That too is a big help. You are doing this at a good time of the year. Hopefully it will cool off a little for you in the fall and you will feel like taking a walk now and then outside. Your initial months of weight loss will come just from the cutting back on calories then you will need to add the exercise to lose. One thing for sure....when I saw the Psych. Dr. she gave me a lot of support too. I had to take some big psych test to be sure I wasn't suicidal...it was pretty interesting. Hopefully you have had a nice weekend. We have had rain on and off all day today. Keep thinking positive about all of this....I know you will be happy with the results because you have a truly good idea of what it will take. I would be thrilled to be at 170 too...and you are taller than me so I understand how great the will make you feel. Take good care of yourself. Keep me posted. Sheri PS...if you want to email me directly use wench@locallink.net but keep posting here!

[reqgoddess 0]

oh, lord, why am I fat? well, self esteem. that is the biggest reason, no self esteem. I was sexually molested and then sexually abused (there is a big difference) when I was a kid. The latter went on for a while. Then when we moved (away from the abuser), I started doing better. Once, the abuse remarried and actually came to our house as part of his honeymoon (I had never told my parents for fear of all the things he said) and actually tried to pull that in my own house!!! Anyway, things were getting better, when all of a sudden, my father started leaving. I was daddy's little girl, even born on his birthday. He would leave, then about 3 weeks later, come back. he would do this for about a year. He was dating a woman in town that was known as a woman of no morals shall i say, and her kids would come to school and say that my father was taking them fishing, hunting etc (this was all BS but found that out 30 years later). It hurt alot. my parents divorced and then 2 weeks later my father married that woman, he being her 4th husband. 3 weeks after that, he was back home. YUP. So, we were all going to move, then 3 weeks before we were moving, my dad left again. This time, I made him let me live with him so i didn't have to face this small town of people that i so proudly told I was moving. So, at 16, i lived with my dad (my mom let me because it was a way for her to hang on) and I went down hill fast. dad didn't cook and of course had another girlfriend whom I didn't like, and so i fell in with a group of musicians. we drank (they drugged, but i didn't like drugs at all) and didn't eat and wrote songs alot. Feeling like no one wanted me, dad didn't really want me around and i felt like mom didn't really as she wanted me to be the link to dad) so I tried to commit suicide. Not very good attempt, but moved home the next day. From there tried hard to recoup. even went to college (a few) got my degree and hold a great career. At 33, my daughter was just 3 then, (i married the wrong man because i didn't think I was good enough for the other guy (that I had left 5 years before) my husband who used to call me slim as i hadn't lost the baby weight, i called suicide hotline and THAT helped alot. I saw a doctor for awhile (who said i was a poster child because many in my situation would have wound up on drugs; a prostitute ; dead or all three). I left mister wrong for Mr VERY wrong but we had the same self esteem (which i feel is like Water and seeks it's own level) . He was an alcoholic emotional abuse who by the time I had him thrown out became a physical abuser. All during these 2 marriages, I put all my energy into the kids and work and ate I excelled at work and in the long run, could have done better with the kids by taking care of myself...but..I ate. I was a kid whose parents used to beg to eat. At 25, i was a bone and worked out in 2 gyms. But then all that abuse stuff came rushing at me like a ton of bricks. I have read that this happens often to those who didn't tell anybody at the time of the abuse. So, I lost confidence in myself. That confidence that got me through life and through college, disappeared. So, I started doubting all about me. left a man I loved, thinking he would leave me anyway. married a person who lacked self esteem too. He got fat and so did I but I was called slim and stupid, etc. Anyway. after the second idiot, i quit smoking, got my life back on track and am marrying the man i left at 25. He never stopped loving me, even though he did marry for 4 years, it didn't work, and we are very happy. we have been together for 3 years now and will probably marry next year. i have done a lot of learning and still am. Still need to learn more too. But anyway,

i feel self esteem is the most important thing.

[DynamoMini 1]

reqgoddess - wow! You've had enormous challenges. Don't beat yourself up for picking the wrong guys, you never really had any role models to help you define who would be good for you.

These stories make me want to nominate each of you for the Outstanding Human Survivor Award.

Hugs and best,