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Why are YOU Fat?



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I will be so happy to stop taking the medications that I am on. My blood sugar drops and I feel awful some of the time. I just want to get back to "normal" whatever that is. I'm so glad that banding can really help.

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Why am I fat? That is a good question. When I was a little girl I was so thin the doctor actually accused my mom of not feeding me! I would easiliy eat as much as my dad who was a big eater. I ate constantly, my favorite snack was stealing a pat of butter cause it tasted so good. I never felt full until I was stuffed to the gills. At around 9yrs old I started to gain a little bit. I was 10lbs overweight and my grandmother flipped out. From that point on every summer of my life was spent dieting on weight watchers (I still have the original plan memorized). All summer long I would diet and excersise and lose the weight, then every school year at home with my parents I would eat out of rebellion, to show to myselef I guess that I could eat if I wanted to and no one could stop me. I was stubborn and I set out to prove a point. From that first summer of weight watchers till today I have been obsessed with food and being able to eat what I wanted. Wanting to prove my grandmother wrong. It took me till the age of 32 to realize that she was right and that I had no clue how to regain control. My band has given me that. Now I really am in control, not the food (at least most days) I believe my fatness is due to never feeling satiated(sp?) and wanting to take control of my life and inadvertantly allowing the food to take control of me. Now only when I am really upset or feeling poorly do food issues become a problem.

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Molly aka waterlily1072,

I had a similar experience with the mother - daughter going to WW. My mom became competative with me regarding the weight loss. Battlelines drawn, no way, I was going to do it her way, I rebelled through food. Of course, who did I hurt? Me. Even to this day when I told my mom about my plans for surgery I have set these ground rules around her discussing my diet and weight loss, basically she can't. It has given me room to grow, here I am 57, and still she can set off that rebellion trigger. Thank God I am in therapy.

Congratulations on your weight loss and continued journey to a life of good health.

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I was a thin child until about 7 years old. I used to sleep over at my Grandma's house a lot and she would let me eat as many Cookies as I wanted. She would also sneak me candy bars, even when my mother told her to stop.

I know this is where my maladaptive eating behaviors came from, but I continued them by my own will. I ENJOYED eating 10 cookies. I LOVE food. I LOVE food that tastes good (which is usually loaded with fat). I lOVE to eat a LOT of food. I am a quantity eater. I know this.

Many people in my family struggle with weight issues, but I am the only one who has let it get this far out of control. And I think part of the reason for that is the philosophy: "Well at least when I am fat I can eat whatever I want. I'm already fat so what difference does it make!"

It is only now that I am older that I realize I need to lose weight to be healthy, not to fit into a size 5 pair of jeans.

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Davyna - It is amazing to me how we "adapt" to weird eating behaviors. I had a second Breakfast with my grandma and felt that love was food. The consumptive quantity eating came later, but with each age, a new "adaptive" behavior was added. It is a wonder that I don't weigh 500 pounds. It isn't about a size 5 pair of jeans now it is about my knees, blood pressure and Type II Diabetes. I am a little overwhelmed by the changes I want to make and have started taking steps of exercise, some better food choices, but the band for me will force the focus and care to get me to the place where I can put this extra 100 pound backpack down.

Surgery is on April 16th. I can't wait.

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I am fat for many reasons. I don't know that I could pin point just one thing. Self esteem has been a big one, I began my monthly's and had breasts at age 8. It made me very self conscious. At age 10 I looked like I was 16.

I have always been very hypoglycemic. I remember at about age 3 or 4 waking up so hungry and shaky that I could barely eat. I scarfed down 4 or 5 bowls of Cheerios then went in the bathroom and threw up. My mother never let me out of the house without eating. If I was going to an activity she would send a lunch plus crackers and cheese with me. I got to the point that I was very afraid of having a hypoglycemic attack so I would over eat to compensate. Eating became and obsession. I would wake up thinking about my meals for the day.

My dad was a fast eater so it became a game to keep up with him. Not only eat as fast as he did but eat as much as he did. I've always been a big eater and never felt full until I was unable to move. Many times I will eat and then be hungry in 30 minutes. I was active so I was not really fat until after I had kids.

I ate because I was afraid that there wouldn't be anything to eat another time. If I tried to cut back then the obsession go worse. I ate because I was unhappily married. I have rhumetoid arthritis, fibromialgia, Migraines, high blood pressure, borderline diabetes, and a genetic back problem. I am constantly sick, and have not worked in almost a year. I am tired & exhausted and I can't lose the weight on my own again. I've done it over and over and over. I finally decided that Lap Band surgery is the help that I need to get my life back. I want to be around for my kids and grandkids. I want to get up off the couch without feeling exhausted!!!!

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CJulzgo-

Your story sounded familiar to me as I went into puberty too early, period at age 9 1/2, breasts requiring a bra in 3rd grade. It was mortifying to me, a basically shy person to look so mature for my age. My parents hyper-reacted to it, feeling ashamed of me (I thought but now I wonder) the message was lose weight and then your boobs won't be as big, but we had to clean out plates, conflicting messages. I also have the hypoglycemic reaction if I don't at good intervals. It is worse when I have eaten little and wait too long. So I resorted to constant feeding. I have type II diabetes, and I'm sure there is something to it. I am so happy for you and the surgery. You won't have to do it again or alone without support. We are here for you. Hurrah that you are choosing a healthy life.

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DynamoMini~

As with most things when I was growing up, my parents did not react much at all. I was told by a Dr a few years ago that the high insulin in my system that causes hypoglycemia is probably the reason I developed so early. Because insulin is a hormone.

My grandmother told me if I ate popcorn I would weigh 250 lbs. Well, guess what? I now weigh 257. One time I was making french fries for the family and a family friend said that if I ate all of those french fries I would be fat. I wasn't making them just for myself. But, to show her I ate until they were gone. Not realizing at the time that I was only hurting myself.

We didn't have to clean our plates but, I did!!! I was afraid I wouldn't have anything more later on. Or that I would go hypoglycemic. My mother tried to feed us as healthy as possible on a very tight budget. But we ate a lot of carbs that we did not realize were not good for us.

My daughter is a Type 1 diabetic. She has been type 1 for 10 years. I know the good foods and bad foods. But, I am a Carb~a~holic and harder I have tried to curb it the worse it has gotten.

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CJULZGO -

I think there is really something to the high insulin levels. I know the harder I work at it, the more the problem pushes back. It is an addiction. I am working on a workbook called "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life." We are doing this study group on B2G website. You might want to consider it. Sorry about your daughter. Diabetes is rampant in our children. Good luck helping her to cope.

Michelle

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Dynamo~

It is amazing how many Drs do not understand how we feel. I am 48 I have told every Dr I ever went to that I have low blood sugar and that I get literally sick if I do not eat. For along time the standard answer was just carry Peanut Butter and crackers with you. Or just eat 5 or 6 small meals a day. Which has never worked for me.

I am interested in the group you are in. Can you give me some more information on it?

My daughter is insulin dependant.. Most people do not understand that type I and type II diabetes are different. Even my ex husband asked me what I had been feeding her to cause the diabetes. He blamed me for her pancreas giving out. It still amazes me!!!

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I was born into a fat family, we have always based everything we do around a meal, and you always tried everything on the table and cleaned your plate. Guess what, I raised my kids basically the same way. Thank God they have learned the errors of my ways and not raising there kids the way they were raised when it comes to food.< /p>

It doesn't matter what my family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. did it was planned around, what food we were going to have or what restaurant we were going to meet at. The sad thing is the family that has passed on has passed on due to heart attacks and diabetes. Most of them died in their 60's. Thats too young.

I am 62, I have sleep apnea, high blood pressure, diabetes II, bad back and hip pain. I am determine to live out my life feeling good, that is why I am getting the band. I believe it is the tool that is going to help me start feeling better. Looking forward to 3/28/07.

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You go girl! You have a right to a healthy life. I wish you good luck on your surgery and recovery. Yeah!

I have surgery April 16th. I am just lining up supportive people to be around me. I think the surgery plus the new lifestyle will propel us into living our full lives. Best wishes,

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