Why are YOU Fat?

[tampabaygirl 0]

This is probally the best post I have read throughout my weightloss journey. so sad, but we all have issues that cause overeating so many different reasons I never have met anyone that wasnt MO that was truly happy they all are suffering some how. Hopefully this post will continue because like myself I don't know why or what caused my weight gain I was never past 110lbs and very popular I thought I had it all but something went wrong and I am still searching for that answer by readin g these post something may trigger something in my life that makes sense thanks so much for this wonderful post let keep it going....Lori

[findingme2 0]

First reason....food is good. It tastes good, it smells good, it feels good to be satisfied, it's fun to have with friends, it's fun to have at parties and tailgates. I love food. I love to taste new things and talk about it. How many countless hours of my life growing up were spent at a full and splendid table of food at my Grandmother's. She loved with her food. The whole family was there and it was laughter, memories and stories. Every where my family ate we would "dissect" the food....what spice do you think they used, did they pan-fry this or broil it. Food glorious good.

Second reason....which is actually part of first food is emotional. It was a part of every celebration and good time, funerals and saddness, achievements and when he broke up with you it was pizza and ice cream time out with your pals. Want to see an old friend.....meet at so and so's for margaritas. Our culture is food.

Third reason......growing up poor it's the one thing we had. We had food from the field and while we couldn't buy lots of toys and "stuff" we could afford food. Cheap foods included flour and sugar for cakes and Cookies. When I made my own money I started the habit of eating foods I had never had before but more important in quantities I thought would make me happy???? Maybe....

Fourth reason......portions, portions, portions. A buffet was 2 or 3 plates for me. A Breakfast buffet was a Breakfast plate first then a lunch plate. I would sometimes think- you know "normal" people don't eat like this. Watch your thin friends. How do they eat??? Not massive amounts.

and Fifth reason......was not normal from day one.....taller than others, single parent family, different religious group than others, and on and on. Did I eat to feel normal??? Maybe.

Okay, that saved me a $125 therapist fee....lol.

Findingme2 is my user name...it means as I find my waist my hope is to find my fat free soul as well. Good luck and good journeys to all of us bandsters.

[Randi L 0]

Childhood memory? Non-fat milk. Grey. While my brother had whole milk.

Looking back at pictures of that girl, always standing out, always bigger.

Late night eating, always. Lack of exercise until I adopted my dog two years ago.

Compulsive, obsessive, too much, too often, the thought comes and I chase the food.

Is it obvious to everyone else how very good most of the posts are?

Smart people, trapped by a common bond - and liberated by a band?

[Daniel 0]

Ok, I have always had a problem with leaving food on my plate. It comes from being told to finish everything no matter what. Also, comes from later in life I had a fear of never having enough food. I had a really hard time after my divorce of making ends meet with four children to feed. I would try and try so hard to make sure they had food but there were times we had nothing but bologna or Peanut Butter in the house. So my mind keeps telling me to eat now cause you might not have anything to eat later. Isn't that sick? LOL!!

Anyone else relate?

My parents made me eat all my food on my plate and I think this is one of the reasons I gained so much weight. I have a son who is almost a year old and I am going to make sure to tell him.. "dont eat everything on your plate" save some for the dogs.

[bibytz 0]

THANK YOU ALL FOR SHARING,

I have been reading this thread for a while now and it made me think a lot. I thought of many reasons why I am MO and concluded that they were pretty much all used up by me as excuses in the past.

I beleive that all of my past experiences contribute to who I am today. I have other addictions that I took care of 17 years ago without any struggles ever since. I then had the opportunity to learn and understand that addiction is a "disease". It is something that I am born with. The 12 steps program were a blessing for my recovery. The thing is that I do not like to dwell on issues for the rest of my life. I stop using and I am doing great as far as not having any temptation what so ever.

And so I thought...

The reality hit me a few months ago. I am fat because I made food my new drug of choice. It simply it me like a brick one afternoon after stuffing myself with sweets. I was wondering why I had all those mental struggles with food, those yo-yoing in dieting resolutions and the emotional roller coaster following every attempt to solve my weight problem. I finally admitted that I am simply "powerless over food". I live to eat instead of eating to live. So I thought that I should use my experiences with the 12 step program and apply it to this problem.

So far, so good. I then let go of trying to solve this issue. That was not to complicated because I was/am tired of trying to control something that is controlling me. I went to the Dr. one day for my regular check-up to find out that he has been replaced by a bariatric specialist/internal medicine colleague. Dr. Z. has a lap band and was kind to share his experience with me. I started the process for the surgery and here I am today, 35 pounds lighter, out of all my meds and 6 days to band day.

I am confident that this is the answer. I asked for help and the band is on its way. As for everything else, the rest is up to me.

Thanks for reading me.

Ciao... for now.

[HopeWorks 0]

Wow - we are all so much alike! But...what about "why people are not fat" - is that something that has to be investigated/questioned? There are allot of people who are "normal" sized and have issues - I think it's unfair to relate eating with any issues we may have - I mean, our issues are the same as thin people's issues - belive me - they have issues too...they are just wierd about otherthings (keeping their kitchen really really clean, or owning a different set of dishes for each type of meal, etc).

I think that there is something to be said for not depriving yourself. We're always being told, at least as women, to take care of ourselves - treat our selves - induldge ourselves...that we serve so many others - so do something that we love. Well, I love food - so that's what I do. I could spend $200 and sit in a spa for a couple hours - but I don't - I shop, plan a meal, cook it to perfection and enjoy it!

I'm always going to enjoy and indluge in great food - just in much smaller amounts.

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

I think I just substituted food for things that were missing in my life as a child and I was never able to break the bad habits. The earlier a habit is initiated, the harder it is to stop. No excuses, just my weakness.

[JILLMC 0]

I was thin growing up until high school and even then I was only 15 - 20 pounds overweight. Losing weight was easy then but my mother wanted to help me so I started taking diet pills. I lost weight and got down to 105 pounds before I graduated. I looked great. I am 5'1" so that was a great weight. Who knew those pills would screw up my metabolism so badly. When I went to college I gained the freshman 15 which I think was actually 25. My father died suddenly when I was 19 and that is when I really started gaining weight. My mother constantly hounded me about my weight and so did my sister and boyfriend. I got to where I would eat before I went to eat with them so I could eat small portions in front of them. When I moved back in with my mother I would hide food. By then I was 150 pounds. I would kill to be 150 pounds again. I would hide food in my room because I was always chastised when I ate in front of people. I did lose weight with Nutra System and many other programs but every time I ate a little too much I was chastised and then I would literally eat too much just to prove that I WAS IN CONTROL of my life. I've been on a dieting roller coaster for all of my adult life and now I am 220 pounds. I now want to eat less but now I can't control my eating. I wake up thinking about dinner. I eat Breakfast and immediately think about lunch. After lunch I think about what I can pick up on my way home.

After 9 months of considering the band I actually am eating less. I will treat my band with respect. I am a healthy person and I am good at following doctors orders. I will not risk hurting my band or myself by overeating. I love healthy foods so that part won't be hard. I have already decided that my band will be in control. I've never been confident about weight loss before but this time is different. This is very drastic and I will do it.

Thank you all so much for sharing so much about yourself. I actually found myself crying because I realize I am not alone. Our stories are all very different buy yet we are the same. I haven't thought about how I got here in a long time and it really helped.

[KariK 0]

I was always fit until after HS, when I moved out of my parents home I started gaining weight.

I had a really troubled relationship with my mother. She royally enjoyed stomping on my self-esteem. She would mock my body shape, my integrity, my looks, my sexual orientation.. you name it she'd find a way to make me feel like Sh*t. She loved to gossip about me with her friends, always making herself sound like June Cleaver. The one thing that my mom did good though was she was and still is a fabulous cook. There was always something delicious to eat. We would have 5 course meals everyday. Desserts that would rival any bakery. The only time she wasn't screaming at me was when she was eating, eating made her happy. So when I met my husband, I didn't want to be an ass like my mother, so I ate alot.. so I would always be happy. I thought food made women happy and I wanted to be a happy woman.

Well my husband thought he'd met the perfect woman, I was in great shape, knew how to cook, he loved to eat with me. He's a big guy, 6'4 and weighed about 190 at the time, I've fattened him up to 250ish lol. Luckily im nothing like my mom personality wise. Probably since I know how bad put-downs hurt, I don't use them. Anyways.. I was eating as much as my big hubby.. I should probably only eat about 1/3 of the amount he needs to consume as he is VERY active and a work a holic. But again I just had to eat eat eat. My husband is such a wonderful person. Its ironic because my mom used to love to tell me how no man would ever want to marry someone like me... Ha ha ha momma I got the last laugh. Not only did someone want me, he's wonderful.

Anyways it took me years to finally come to grips with my childhood and what was eating at me and making me eat so much. And then one day after lost of working on it I just realized I was happy. But now im covered in this big thick layer of fat that I don't need anymore and because of all my crash dieting I can't get rid of it. So I decided to take the bull by the horns and do something about it. I got the band. I feel like I have empowered myself and treated myself and endulged myself. Im so proud that I took this step.

I can see a brighter future for me. I can't wait until my outside matches my inside. Im so happy and contented these days. I have such a beutiful family with my daughters and hubby. I have good friends. Im just lovin my life. I have appropriate boundaries where my mother is concerned and its been years since I've allowed her to get under my skin. Issue resolved. Now my focus is on eating healthy, exercising and working this band to the max. yay!

[sharcur 0]

Hi, I am new to the forum as of today . I was referred by a friend who has had the surgery done. I am having the surgery done next month.

I am 300 lbs. and miserable. I liked the quote "I'm fat because I'm miserable". That is so true.

Hey , I'm worried that I my body is ready for the surgery , but my head isn't. I am afraid of failure. I have failed so much in the past with trying everything possible to get down. Oh sometimes I was successful , but after a couple of years I'd put it back on. I do not want to do something so dramatic and have it too be a failure. Am I sick or what?

Can any of you help me? I do sure need a insightful conversation :help: ! Thanks,Sharlene

[lokiluvr 0]

I think for me there are many reasons I'm so FAT,,I so LOVE food, ,,so much that I became a Chef,,I guess I wanted to make people as happy as I pretended to be.And of course, a Chef must test each dish before it goes out.

Also, I like to take things to the extreme,, if it's salty,, I want it saltier,, sweet? Sweeter,, Buttery,,,more butter.

Feeling a bit down? Grab a half gallon of chocolate peanutbutter cup,,no,, no,, no need to dirty a bowl,,I'll just eat out of the carton.

I love food,, and if I go to a new type of resturant, I want to try all sorts of new things,, so away we go on the menu.

I work 12 hr shifts, 6AM-6PM home a bit after 7PM, so when I get home I eat dinner, help get the kids ready for bed,they go down at 8PM,, and I'm shortly behind at 8:30ish,, and up at 3:30 am to start again. Oh yeh,, sleeping on a full stomach,,bad,, bad so bad,,,every thing I do I know is wrong,,and I keep on telling myself that while I'm doing it.

[bluehill 0]

Welcome, Sharlene! My advice to get yourself out of depression prior to your surgery next month is to read read read this forum. There are so many inspirational testimonies -- even the weight-loss stats themselves -- that I'm willing to bet you will have renewed confidence in YOUR ability to do this, because of course YOU CAN DO THIS! The lapband is not magic, but it's a marvelous tool that can help with weight control for your entire life. It's YOU who makes it work however. Read read read the posts to find out HOW to make it work!

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

Well I have read this thread for awhile, and time I come to turns with my issue!

I was abused as a child without getting to unneeded details it was long lasting and painful. I never dealt with the pain, and ignored it.

Well at 19 I had hit rock bottom. I was a big drinker and partier. I lead a double life, by day I was a married cake decorator, by night a bartender at a gentleman's club. Well we all know that things never stay dormat for long. I became to hate myself and being an object to all of those men. So I put myself on a path of ultimate self destruction and ate my feelings down. After I gained 20 pounds I was "relieved" of my bartending job because I no longer was the perfect 10 that was required. And I kept going from there.

I know now that the abuse as horrible as it was made me who I am. I am a very strong woman, who never stops until she gets what she wants. I no longer try to stuff pain with Twinkies. Because even then the pain is still a bitter pill to swallow. I now understand that food can not solve a damn thing other than hunger.

(BOY I feel like I just had a therapy session, how much do I owe you guys?? lol....)

[bluehill 0]

BOY I feel like I just had a therapy session, how much do I owe you guys??

This one's on us, Brandy. And here your session is open-ended, not limited to the 50-min. hour!

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

Thank you, big hugs to everyone here. It is so amazing how we can connect here and tell people things we don't in real life. Is it the ananimity or the fact we all are really the same? Either way, I love you guys man!

:kiss2: :kiss2: