Why are YOU Fat?

[renniemommietoo 1]

Donali inspired me to start this new thread. She has been providing information to us regarding Morbid Obesity being a disease, which is a very powerful topic for all of us.

Lately I've been discovering that there are many different categories that we fit in, so I was wondering what category you are in. I don't have labels for the categories, but let me start by telling you why I am obese.

First, my family history includes severe mental illness (Mom, aunt, etc.) I inherited a branch of mental illness - Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which had me extremely ill in my youth. My panic attacks have been under control for years, but I still have many anxiety-related problems, one being that I never stop thinking, and at night, the thoughts are consumed by food. Part of the reason I'm obese is becaseu I can't fight the mental struggle to eat for long periods of time. That part of my brain is stronger than the sensible part.

But my biggest problem is Portion Control. I'm obsessed by enormous quantities of food. I simply don't understand how anyone could order just one taco, or have a small serving of anything. With me, it's all or nothing. I would rather fast all day than to eat one chicken thigh. It's torture. A half gallon of ice cream is two servings. A family dinner is two servings.

And mine is all a night time disorder. Someone baked us fresh Cookies, all warm and steamy, and I didn't even look at them. I don't give a damn about food during the day. I feel like a monster.

At Delarla: I tend to the obsessive as well. Also, daytime not drinking enough Water can hide as hunger at night. My friend who is way more obsessive than me just started taking Efferal (?), some kind of Anxiety medication and I can totally see the change in her in just a few weeks. Her obsessive and anxiety was damaging her life, as it sounds yours is.

[renniemommietoo 1]

I eat too much.

Period.

I also know that as a kinder we didn't have enough money for good food, I SAW little food in the house, I get panicky when there is little in the house, I et I can figure out where to store some... Also, with empty carbs being the food around, I got a taste for sugar. Sugar monster! Later in Jr high, not many friends, so food and books were great. Also, Family tends to big, I look like my aunt. And a bit lazy, exercise? ugh...

[mandyb 3]

I really like this topic!

But then again I never really thought about "why" I was fat! I was always a chubby kid, chubby teen (I was the "fat" cheerleader). But really it all started to get out of control when I got pregnant with my daughter at the age 18. I was in my first year of community college, finally getting fit down to 135. Then found out I was pregnant and the cravings were crazy, I lived at taco bell! (could be why my daughter LOVES tacos).

Anyways, I gained about 50 lbs (I was now at 185-190) with my daughter! Crazy, I know! But I was even on birth control when I got pregnant with her! After my daughter was born I had gone on the birth control SHOT! Well...I knew I would gain weight but did not expect another 30-40 lb weight gain. Now with a new baby, I was also working crazy hours and not much time for work outs. Followed Weight Watchers off and on..lose 20 lbs, hit a block, get frustrated and give up....try again...and the same thing. 5 years later I was told to come off the Birth control shot and try the patch because it could cause infertility if used for long periods of time. Yeah I tried the patch and GUESS WHAT!!!! I got pregnant with my son. LOL...I was fertile mertyle. My son is now soon to be 6 years and I am married and comfortable with my life, and just kept gaining weight! I have a desk job now and eat out alot. I am also idagnosed with Depression. My whole family (the women on my mother's side) are ALL over weight. My father is over weight and a few members of his family! My father also had a major inpact on the emotional issues I have with myself that I was never good enough. But that is a WHOLE other topic...but is also part of why I am Fat!!!

I am just glad that with all the medical problems that run in my family on both sides (heart attacks (at young ages 40-50's), strokes my father had 3 stroke before the age of 40, My aunt had a stroke in her early 30's....high blood pressure, depression, anxiety, cholestrol problems, blood clots, asthma, and so much more...) I am just glad I decided to take care of the problem before it got so much more out of control.

Take care,

[ravendays 2]

Gee I'm stumped.

I had a average childhoold. I lived I guess what you would qualify as a middle class family. Never starved (tho at times I would claim I was haha), no trauma that had me running to food to comfort me, was a fit child in a healthy weight class. When I think about when I started to gain weight it was after my 3 pregnancies I had in a row (when I say in a row I mean all two months apart...my kids b-days are 6/5/02, 6/11/03, 6/4/04). While I was pregnant I never ate completely healthy but never gained over the 25-30 lbs. After pregnancies I never thought much of it but I ate a lot of fast food. Anything fast and room temp or better was awesome while keeping up with my daughters. Now they are grown and since I have had to learn how to cook for myself. Considering by the time I was an adult to cook at home I was pregnant and rather go to Burger King, I didnt know how to cook, let alone cook healthy.

I'm not an emotional eater, I dont eat non stop all day (sometimes Im lucky to eat more then one meal a day), I know what is healthy foods, excersise, etc. So I guess I am fat because of the lifestyle I have grown into since I became an adult. I am fat because I didnt realize what was happening until I found myself in over my head and now I cant seem to help myself. I can't wait for my band, my tool, my kick in the butt to help me....I have the knowledge, I have the power to make the change(s), and I believe once banded its only healthy from that point on =)

[GreggCas 16]

We all are asking ourselves the mental reasons why we think we are fat. If you break it down to simple mathamatics. We take in more calories than we burn off. Eating fast or loving food or eating when upset and all that doesn't help with how our bodies FEEL but the simple fact is Every SINGLE one of us is/was overweight due to the fact that we Consumed More than we spent.

I spent the last 4 years every day writing down what i ate and what i worked out. I looked through it from the beginning of that journey to now. It is amazing what you realize what you were eating and when you actually write it down and see that you really aren't eating as healthy as you think. That extra cookie COULD hurt you more than you think. One day going off the bandwagon is fine but don't gorge yourself to 5000-8000 calories ESPECIALLY if you aren't even working out.

So yea... Why are we overweight? regardless of any mental or psychological reasoning we may think we have...the simple answer is that we ate more than we spent and that's why we are here where we are today. Hence why the lap band as a tool is such a success. You cut out the amount you are eating. You still need to eat healthy but limits the AMOUNT.

Quality over Quantity is key

[Russian_BANDit_inNY 4]

1. Portion control
2. Portion control
3. and portion control

I stopped eating most bad foods long time ago. When I was 10-11 and chubby my father told me to stop eating bread. For many (10-12) years I did not eat almost any bread with any of my meals, yes - no pizza, no sandwiches.... I did eat a piece of cake 2-3 times a year at birthdays. All relatives were saying " well she does not eat bread so she should have more of other foods." And I did. Not sure why everyone was always scared I will go hungry - I was a very very chubby kid all my life :-)

For as long as I can remember I never felt full. I can eat all day long as long as I have food variety.

When I was 26 I got very sick (not weight related) and made a conscious decision to change what I eat. It was an easy change for me to switch from all foods to better food choices (natural, organic when can afford, whole grains, lean meet, etc etc etc....)

One thing never changed - portions.

Yes I dont eat fried chicken. But I do eat half of the skinless baked chicken in one sitting.

Yes I dont eat fish chips and potatoes. But my lightly steamed/fried (low heat frying on Water :-) tuna stake and stir fried veggies portion can feed a family of 6.

And even a salad is not a 'free' points food in my case. First - it is a bucket (family 8-10 size) and with the splash of unrafinated sunflower oil, 1 sliced avocado, a hand full of flax seeds... and all veggies in site .... and maybe some fruit ... It does add up!

I wish and hope and pray band will help with portions.

[Dakloh 0]

For me: I had a great childhood, but a mom who cooked southern fried meals. She weighed 120 pounds but My Dad and his side of he family were obese. They loved food and the bigger the meal the better. My mom tried to keep my eating in check but I had a skinny little sister who ate two times more than me and didn't gain an ounce. Growing up I had two doting grandmothers who loved to cook for me and my favorite meal was Gravy and Biscuits....My One Grandmother was pretty blunt "I love to make you Gravy and Biscuits and I love to watch you eat, but it makes you fat." I was probably 10. How is that for boosting self esteem? I would sneak food or extra portions, but they were always there. I never felt full...ever. I really didn't and still do not care about the sweet stuff, but I love to be full from regular foods. There was always chips or Snacks growing up and we ate out a lot. (That is still a hard habit for me to break today and I have only gotten my lapband two weeks ago.)

I think I really gained weight in my later teens and twenties and then spun even further up the scale when I moved out and got my own home. The biggest discovery for me was at age 27 getting the Hypothyroid Diagnosis which justified the diofficult in losing weight. The doc said I had probably had it since I was 16. Makes since as that is when the weight really crept up. But even having the thyroid medicated, I could not lose..finally married and had one baby, still battling the climbing numbers. Found a doc to give me Armour Thyroid med and did much better when I tried, but it was never fast losing weight. So I would just go back to the old habits. Lots of friends and family to eat out with and plan meals with and it goes on and on.

The last three years I have spent trying to keep my BMI under 40, so I could qualify and get my little girl home from China. I did it but as soon as we got her home, I have spent the last 6 months eating whatever I wanted amd again the scale numbers climbed. But now with being in my 40's and two small kids at home, it was time for something ...this tool to help. I pray this is the help I need as I can lose, even if slowly, but I tend to gain it all back.

So I am banded for two weeks now and praying I can do this and not fail at yet another weightloss help.

[ck1redhead 0]

Why am I fat.....

I am fat because I have always put everyone in front of myself. A few years back, I was a personal trainer that loved working out. I was engaged and had two wonderful stepsons. While I enjoyed working out, I did not enjoy feeling the pressure to sale, sale, sale that my boss bestowed on me. Also, I didn't enjoy working seven days a week and over 70 hours. While I knew that this profession wasn't right for me, I also knew that it would put my family in a difficult spot so I decided to stick it out. Eventually, my body quit on me and I started getting extremely sick. Turns out I had an underlying thyroid condition and my schedule and lack of sleep brought it to the forefront. Had I have admitted to myself 6 months prior to leaving that I should have left that job things might have been different. This story is a constant pattern in my life. I start living for me and then the guilt sets in. Not because my family or friends make me feel guilty but because I make myself feel guilty. My now husband and stepsons stood by my side even when I quit my job as a personal trainer. They stood by my side through the weight gain, struggles with my thyroid, and now my current battle with PCOS. I suppose i expected everything to be fixed when I left this stressful job and it was pretty difficult to cope when I quickly found out it wasn't. The reason it wasn't and hasn't been is because I have failed to stand by my own side.

My friends, family, and co-workers constantly tell me how happy I always seem and what a positive person I am. On the surface that may seem true but internally I tell myself a different story. I have no self-worth, am extremely critical of myself, and often feel guilty for putting me first. After almost a year of "thinking" about having lap band surgery, I finally decided that it was my time to shine and change my life.

My surgery date is February the 23rd and I am excited about finally being "selfish" and doing something for myself. I hope that this is the first step in a journey that will lead me to inner peace and contentment.

Courtney

[Shanimal 6]

I am fortunate that I grew up with two amazing parents who have always supported me in any endeavor. However, obesity runs in my Dad's family and I am a carbon copy of that gene pool

I was normal-sized as a child and I was always active. However, I started puberty early (age 11) and I got "curves" and that extra padding earlier than any other girl in my class. I vividly remember when my entire 5th grade class had to go to the school nurse to record our height and weight and I was the only person to weigh over 100 pounds - at 102. I was so humiliated, you know because they announced the numbers to an aide in front of everyone, that I tried getting out of school for weeks. The summer before I turned 13, I was at a girl's house down the street, and due to my insecurities, I had a few drinks with her, her older brother, and his friends. One of those boys almost raped me in a closet that night, but thankfully he was interrupted by another party-goer. I feel like I've used food as a buffer between me and men since then.

I was lucky that I was active most of high school, so even though I had a few extra pounds, I never was heavier than about 160, wore a size 12, and had a good social life. However, I indulged in all the bad foods I loved - sausage kolaches, deli sandwiches, hamburgers and sodas. I think this is partly because my parents TRIED to curb my bad food choices, but indulged my younger brother in anything he wanted. When I went off to college, my activity level dropped to... well, to nothing and I continued to eat worse than ever. By the time I came home after that 1st semester, I had put on over 30 pounds and was well over 200. I was having irregular periods, so I went to the doctor and she diagnosed me with PCOS. The next year and a half of college were terrible academically for me, so I moved back home - with an additional 20 pounds under my belt. While living at home and going to college close by, I maintained that weight for about 5 years with varying success at Weight Watchers, NutriSystem, diet pills and gym memberships.

The last two years were when I really packed it on. I had a desk job where, as an incentive to stay at the office, they provided restaurant lunches every day. It was awesome that I wasn't spending any of my dollars and in return I was getting large portions of my favorite fatty foods. I moved out of my parent's house into my own place which really allowed me the freedom to order large pizzas, grab late-night fast food, or drink vats of sugary sodas. In addition, for extra income, I started working a second job in retail which added extra stress and more food binges, particularly the kind that involve Mexican food.

When I went for my first consultation for LapBand, I weighed in at 265. I know it's because I have an emotional addiction to food combined with a family history. I'm 5 days post-op now and am down to 249. I'm hungry and still struggling with how I'm going to have a healthy relationship with food, but I'm so excited and optimistic for this change! Knowing that I have the tools at my disposal (LapBand, nutrition and fitness nutrition) and a wide range of support from family, friends and my workplace! Good luck to all!

[Carmen188 1]

wow reading all your posts ..so many different reasons..and thoughts. I have always felt depressed even as a youngster. i have very few memories of when i was a child, the vague memories I have are not pleasant ones and i don't really know if they are real or not. I have been thinking that I would like to start seeing a therapist to explore my feelings and try to see if i can get a handle on this food addiction i have. I love food, it makes me feel good, I feel lonely most of the time, not that I don't have happy days for the most part but I have a deep lonliness inside of me that i cannot shake, eating is the only thing that fills me up and eases that lonliness. but then the guilt comes from eating too much, it's hard, eat and feel good....then feel bad about eating the wrong things. I don't want to blame anyone..but men have hurt me in the past, my dad was not a very loving father and drank a lot when I was young. My mother felt like everything my dad put us through only happened to her, like just because we were young that it did not affect us. he would sit in his chair and get drunk and we would all be afraid of him, afraid that he would look our direction and say something to us. I think i will seek out some one to talk to I need to get to the bottom of all of this, i am a Christian and always hoped that I should be able to pray my way through anything, but I was banded and I am still making wrong choices with food and men. thanks for starting this post it is theraputic to put these things down in writing.

[TexasNurseMom 5]

Because I was usingfood for everything but nutrition. As a child I was never overweight. My mom was pretty strict on what I ate at home and I was very active so even if I had junk, I burned it off. In high school I thought I was heavy at 180lbs and 5'10. Funny since now my new personal goal weight is 200! Went to college and found new freedom and comfort in food and alcohol and gained about 25 lbs. Funny that I can rememberthe horror I felt when I went over 200lbs way back then. After I got married, had a couple kids the pounds just kept coming. Working nights as a nurse did help either, nor did the stress jn my home life that literally drove me to fast food at least once if not more daily. I got a wake up call in december 2010 when I went for my annual check up and tipped the scale at 317! My labs were terrible and I was put on diabetes meds and increased my BP meds. That was web I decided I ha to take control. I was banded feb 10,2011. I am down 38 lbs so far and off all my meds already. I feel so much better physically and emotionally. It was truly the best thing I have ever done.

[Just Banded 0]

I am fat, AGAIN!!!

I always have to have that "perfect bite" , example... eating the saucy rice of the chinese food at the end, or liking the way a certain piece of food looks... it's weird!!!

and it is like all in the moment...because if you asked me what I ate yesterday I couldn't even tell you! and yes... I have had those private eaing sessions too, the ones where I can relax...and lay on the couch in my jammies and eat my leftovers, practically licking the plate because I just love the taste of it. I get an emotional high off food, because it is so delecious...and I am stuffing myself because I don't feel physical hunger...I just enjoy eating... I haven't eaten in a buffet in years but just the thought of filling up my plate is exciting...

I really don't think there would be a problem with this if I didn't gain weight...I think lots of skinnies do this too...but they can keep skinny...they excercise a lot, have good metabolisms or take laxatives! Unfortunately... I can gain weight very easily!

so yes I have tried therapy... and I am unwilling to go away to one of those rehab facillities... I have issue with being teased by food, like weight watchers...I have no self control...don't tell me I can have a handful of chips...I want the whole bag kind thing! So I can only not have at all to have any control...once I have the taste I obsess about the food... I cannot be trusted around oreos or cookie dough to save my life!

I am thinking about getting my band tightened and only sticking to Protein Shakes for a while and getting nutrition from supplements... I know I am not "learning how to eat" but I am no in the proper frame of mind right now... I am hating the way I look...feeling bloated and gross for summer...I can't stand seeing this double chin! I am embarassed to go to the gym sometimes because I can't find something good to wear. Like who is looking? I don't know, but that is the way I feel. I cannot fit into any clothes and have no energy. If anyone is similar to me, please let me know if you know what I mean about why I feel I cannot be exposed to all these foods. I think then I can stop eating out... because I will be forced to eat a shake, at home and not consume a billion calories....I won't have to think about what is for lunch or dinner... I need this weight off desperately. I hate feeling hungry... I am up to 210 lbs!!! all my weight I worked hard to lose is back! (have had band unfilled for a year&half due to prganancy&nursing) I am done with this excuse of everyone saying "you had a baby" it's only getting worse! I am going downhill, just getting bigger and bigger. I need some control and soon!!!!

[Nykee 13]

Im pretty sure I posted to this many years ago.

BUt.. WHY AM I STILL Fat?

I eat Cookies and junk all day.. I drink chocolate and strawberry Milk every day.

I get no exercise.

Thats why.

BUT WHY WHY WHY wONT I STOP doing that?? I HAVE NO IDEA>

Really starting to Piss me off tho.

[Carmen188 1]

I feel like you crawled inside my head and expressed exactly how I feel about food, no one I know has ever either admitted that they feel this way about food or they really don't feel that way about food. and yes it is a "in the moment thing and its so wonderful and beautful and food tastes so good when you're eating it and then it's forotten, often I feel guilty about eating something when I know i shouldn't and I tell myself that's eat i'm not going to eat anymore tonight or whatever and then i end up eating again just a few hours later it's horrible. If I have ice cream in the house i obsess about it i put so much in my bowl because I don't want my family to see me going back for more because 3 scoops weren't enough. and sometimes it's not just the way food tastes but how it actually feels in my mouth, the texture or the look of it it's like a frickin' love affair, I wonder why no one will admit that this is the way they feel. and if I could just stay the same weight I think i would be ok with myself but I see the scale climbing up every week and my pants getting tighter and tighter every week and it's sooo disheartening and I feel like I have lost at this lap band thing. I thought lap band would make dieting easier but it's seems like it's unleashed something inside me that allows me to eat all the foods i had deprived my self of pre lap band. I know i have to get my head right again i can't seem to remember what i did before when i needed to lose weight for the surgery, my nutrionist says to go back to the post op diet and i try to do that weekly but get tripped up every week...i hope lap band does not turn out to be just another fad diet that didn't work, I still hold on to hope that I wil lget better again, that I will start excersing regularly again like i did pre lap band. I just want to be well and have a healthy relationship with food like some other people do. God help us all! thanks for you story...it helps me to know that there are others out there like me.

I am fat, AGAIN!!!

I always have to have that "perfect bite" , example... eating the saucy rice of the chinese food at the end, or liking the way a certain piece of food looks... it's weird!!!

and it is like all in the moment...because if you asked me what I ate yesterday I couldn't even tell you! and yes... I have had those private eaing sessions too, the ones where I can relax...and lay on the couch in my jammies and eat my leftovers, practically licking the plate because I just love the taste of it. I get an emotional high off food, because it is so delecious...and I am stuffing myself because I don't feel physical hunger...I just enjoy eating... I haven't eaten in a buffet in years but just the thought of filling up my plate is exciting...

I really don't think there would be a problem with this if I didn't gain weight...I think lots of skinnies do this too...but they can keep skinny...they excercise a lot, have good metabolisms or take laxatives! Unfortunately... I can gain weight very easily!

so yes I have tried therapy... and I am unwilling to go away to one of those rehab facillities... I have issue with being teased by food, like weight watchers...I have no self control...don't tell me I can have a handful of chips...I want the whole bag kind thing! So I can only not have at all to have any control...once I have the taste I obsess about the food... I cannot be trusted around oreos or cookie dough to save my life!

I am thinking about getting my band tightened and only sticking to Protein Shakes for a while and getting nutrition from supplements... I know I am not "learning how to eat" but I am no in the proper frame of mind right now... I am hating the way I look...feeling bloated and gross for summer...I can't stand seeing this double chin! I am embarassed to go to the gym sometimes because I can't find something good to wear. Like who is looking? I don't know, but that is the way I feel. I cannot fit into any clothes and have no energy. If anyone is similar to me, please let me know if you know what I mean about why I feel I cannot be exposed to all these foods. I think then I can stop eating out... because I will be forced to eat a shake, at home and not consume a billion calories....I won't have to think about what is for lunch or dinner... I need this weight off desperately. I hate feeling hungry... I am up to 210 lbs!!! all my weight I worked hard to lose is back! (have had band unfilled for a year&half due to prganancy&nursing) I am done with this excuse of everyone saying "you had a baby" it's only getting worse! I am going downhill, just getting bigger and bigger. I need some control and soon!!!!

[ete77 0]

Oh jeeze, I'm fat because:

1. My portions have grown over the years

2. I'm fairly sedentary in the winter which is about 9mths of the yr inPA!

3. I crave carbs

I'm not really a binge eater though I've definitely had times when I knowing ate past full

If you do any of thesethings for enough years you'll be fat!