Why are YOU Fat?

[Noturningback15 45]

I am fat because I am carb lover. I have never met a carb that I didn't like. True Morbid Obesity run on both sides of my family. As a matter of fact it's weird for someone in my family to be skinny! Anyways, I don't blame it all on genes. I went 8 years without eating a single peice of meat and I really didn't get good Protein from other sources either. I survived on white bread (I would eat a half of a loaf in a day sometimes), cornbread (Jiffy tastes like cake), mash potatos, biscuits, mac & cheese, Cereal (two super size bowls), sweets, and any other carb alive! People couldn't understand why I was gaining weight because I wasn't eating hamburgers from fast food resturants and other fatting fast foods all the time. I had no idea carbs would make me gain weight until they came out with that low-carb diet craze and I was like opps no wonder I keep gaining! Well, it was hard to break all those habits. I am doing better now and I haven't had a single piece of white bread since February!!!

[Boo_68 6]

This a really emotional thread for me, and although you may not see the tears...they are rolling down my cheeks as I type. Why "was" I fat...well first and foremost I take all accountability, even for my actions as a young child...after all I was the one holding the fork shoveling in the food to feed the needs in my life that weren't being met. A childhood survivor of Sexual Abuse...in my warped brain I thought if I looked unappealing the abuse would stop. I suffered from PTSD, Anxiety and on top of that Bi-Polar. Food became my comfort, the only thing I could actually control in the world around me that seemed so unfair.

Why am I "not" fat now. I took control of my life...exchanging every negative with a positive. I still suffer from PTSD, Anxiety and Bi-Polar...but I choose to deal with it differently. I reached out for help, and to my surprise...I found some phenominal people there to help me cope. For me, counseling was a major first step and medication. I'm not ashamed of my mental illness and why should I be. If I were diabetic, would I hide it, or seek our Dr.'s assistance. I took my life back, and put the shame back into the hands of the people who hurt me...right where it belongs. I don't need their validation of the pain they caused. This is my life now, and at 42 yrs. old...a fresh beginning. I also believe that all things good and bad happen for a reason and are part of who you are today...right now. I love me and I'm a Survivor. This is a small portion of my story...and if it helps one person...then its a success.

Standing with my head up high!

[StrangeDz 1]

I am fat because I am carb lover. I have never met a carb that I didn't like. True Morbid Obesity run on both sides of my family. As a matter of fact it's weird for someone in my family to be skinny! Anyways, I don't blame it all on genes. I went 8 years without eating a single peice of meat and I really didn't get good Protein from other sources either. I survived on white bread (I would eat a half of a loaf in a day sometimes), cornbread (Jiffy tastes like cake), mash potatos, biscuits, mac & cheese, cereal (two super size bowls), sweets, and any other carb alive! People couldn't understand why I was gaining weight because I wasn't eating hamburgers from fast food resturants and other fatting fast foods all the time. I had no idea carbs would make me gain weight until they came out with that low-carb diet craze and I was like opps no wonder I keep gaining! Well, it was hard to break all those habits. I am doing better now and I haven't had a single piece of white bread since February!!![/QUOTE]

Congratulations! I too, am a carb lover and it's really hard to stay away from the bread products. I do have to admit that since my last fill, I dont tolerate them well, which is good but makes me sad too! :smile:

[Paigey 7]

I am fat because I love to cook and I love to eat what I cook. I'm sure those years of binge drinking didn't help either.

[tmx000 0]

I am fat for a host of reasons.

I could blame my childhood and I am sure my therapist would allow me to do so. I could blame my father's second wife who after my 10th birthday refused to allow me to eat anything that she cooked. I could blame my father's second wife for allowing me to only eat turnips for an entire summer for Breakfast lunch and dinner. I could blame my father for allowing it to happen. I could blame my father for the severe mental and physical abuse I endured at his hands my entire childhood. I could blame the Army for making me finish each meal I ate during training in 5 minutes or less. I could blame the Army for sending me to Kosovo where I was severely injured in a helicopter accident that has caused me to endure pain every day from that moment.

I think that in me lies the true answer though. I truely love to eat, everything about food makes me a bit happier. I enjoy cooking. I enjoy sampling what I cook. I enjoy piling my plate high with food and eating it untill I could burst. I enjoy the way I feel when I have eaten my fill.

I am fat because of me.

[kyotosong 8]

i have no idea why i started to get fat - normal weight kid, active (as much as asthma allowed) and then i hit puberty. around 10, i got chubby and it didn't stop. food habits in my home did not promote overeating or soothing troubles with food. we ate meals at the table, we didn't eat fast food, my mother stayed at home and cooked (no processed meals). hardly any sweets around the house - ice cream and cake were reserved for birthdays, pies for the holidays, things like that.

by the time i was 12, i was in a plus-sized 14 (avenue store, not regular store). no one in my family had a real weight problem - my mom put on a little in puberty but evened out by the time she was in high school. i think she hoped it would be the same for me. but she still had me at the doctor - because she knew nothing had changed with my eating. i didn't all of a sudden start eating more, i wasn't hording or binging and i was more active as my asthma started to subside. thyroid tested countless times...always normal. there were no answers.

i was in size 24 jeans in high school. by the time i was out, i was close to 300 lbs. at that point - i had a job, i had my own money, i ate fast food with my friends. treats whenever. i was fat already, what did it matter? at that point, i never dieted. the memories of gaining weight eating less than my scrawny friends were far too fresh. my thinking was that i'd have to eat barely anything to lose weight. how could i do that? i gained while eating healthy foods...

so for a decade, i just...ate what i wanted and hated myself. but unlike some people who are obese, my portions were decent - bigger than some of the tiny women i knew but always smaller than all the men i knew.

all the while, my period was never normal. i started growing hair on my face and my hair started to fall out. i went to my doctor and saw a NP that was filling in, she asked a few key questions and suggested i *may* have poly-cystic ovarian syndrome. wha? what the heck was that?

some research later and it all started to make sense - at least i had the majority of the symptoms. gyno confirmed it, tried metformin but couldn't tolerate the gastro-side effects at even 1/4 of a pill, so i gave up on that.

more than a decade of letting myself eat simple carbs galore with the PCOS and i just...had enough. found out my insurance covered the band and i went for it, with help from my family. i've had to relearn a lot of things and the band probably wasn't the best surgery for me, as i am more of a snacker and didn't have large portions when i ate meals. and i love sweetened drinks (can't tolerate artificial sweeteners thanks to migraines). weight loss has been slow, band has been fickle but i'm close to 100 lbs lost now and while i'm not happy with myself, i'm happy i'm not still that 100 lbs more i was last year.

best thing the band has done for me is to make it far too uncomfortable to eat bread, Pasta and potatoes. rice scares me too much so i just avoid it, too. once those foods were taken off the table (literally and figuratively), the weight came off much more quickly.

i still have PCOS symptoms - i'd like to see an endocrinologist to be sure of what i "have". i'm not sure if i'll ever be a healthy weight but i'm trying to get there. i still harbor a lot of resentment and anger for whatever it was within me that had me go from a normal weight, pretty girl to an obese girl with a "pretty face" in the matter of about 2 years...and bigger from there. i know i can't change it but i never had a teen or adult day where i wasn't fat. every now and again i weep for that girl who could have had a much easier life, if she just never put on that weight - maybe a husband, or at least been loved, maybe a kid or two? that girl who wouldn't have such a hard time finding a job because she didn't have to worry about not looking "professional" enough because of the size of her body...blahblahblah.

*sigh*

[BJean 16]

Wow Koto, nearly 100 lbs lost is nothing to sneeze at. That is fantastic!

I'm sure that needing to lose nearly another hundred may feel daunting at this point. I hope you will go to a good endocrologist and figure out what is really happening with your body chemistry. There may be a much better solution for you than to just accept the idea that you're driven to eat enough to support the weight you are now.

Your story is compelling and I believe that many, many obese people are driven to eat just like an anorexic person is driven to not eat. There has to be a cause for both behaviors - something much more biophysical in nature than pure emotions.

Love yourself enough to get help figuring it out. If you really want to experience those things you missed, good job, husband, kids, you have to go after them. (It's never too late for the first two.)

But real change starts with loving yourself enough. You can be a victim of your endocrine system and messed up hormones or you can be smart about it and go find a way to reach your full potential. Discover the physical real you - the same beauty outside that you obviously are inside.

[GipsyGirl 6]

I am fat because I had two miscarriages and never lost the weight. Gained even more with depression after that. Total weight gain 100lbs in three years. Now I am stable on meds and loosing rapidly.

[bwhitty 1]

hmmmm "why am I FAT?"

I was in my normal weight range as a child, maybe 10-15lbs overweight as a teen, then my 20's showed up and I climbed higher and higher on the scale. About 3 years ago I hit my heaviest, at 304lbs!! A family full of overweight people, wasn't much of an inspiration to lose.

I am FAT because:

1. I love food
   
2. I love cooking and tasting what I cook
   
3. I love carbs i.e. Pasta, breads, chips etc.
   
4. I can't say no.
   
5. I always felt pressured to lose weight, and it never felt as if I wanted to do it so I just ate more.
   
6. I have never really changed my lifestyle of eating habits.
   
7. I do not exercise regularly.
   
8. Food makes me feel happy.
   
9. I used food as a band aid.
   
10. I never liked or loved myself.
    

I am breaking up with food. I will control it, it won't control me.

[123crod 170]

I was fat because all my life I used food to comfort me. Now I choose other things to feel better 99.9 % of the time

[sparkplug 106]

Penni, my husband has the same problem He grew up real poor, and always worried when his next meal would come. He always ate fast, and rushed to get seconds as if there weren't going to be any. (Rarely was there enough for seconds).

I have the problem of not being able to leave a plate with something on it. Of course that comes from scoldings as a child.

The second problem I have, is always thinking I can have a dessert if I eat my food.

My husband says I eat like a kid. Never learning how to eat grown up foods (vegetables, fruits etc.) I eat/ate foods high in sugar and preservatives. I never realized that until recently.

Usually I eat when I am extremely stressed. Even when I am not hungry

Denise, I too was brought up real poor. There were times that dinner was a couple of bologna sandwiches or a pizza or a dozen of doughnuts to be split with my sister and brothers. Hence, the band is a life saver and I have had to relearn how to eat my whole life after growing up on my own. We were taught what would hold your stomach full for long periods of times between meals, because we were never sure where the next meal would come from.

[Msbandtastic 1]

Let's look at my pre-band daily menu and see why I am fat!

Breakfast:

Chickfil a chicken biscuit with hashbrown and ketchup and a large coke.

Lunch:

McDonald's Big Mac meal supersized with a coke and apple pie

Dinner:

Mexican restaurant with chips and hot sauce, then huge plate of beef nachos and about 4 cokes then sophapillas for dessert!

Never one minute of exercise and I sit at a desk all day in front of a computer.

I have eaten this way my entire life. I am from the south so my mother only cooked deep fried southern meals as I grew up and I loved every bit of them.

I do have an obsession with food. I think about it constantly. I love to watch cooking shows and our friends make fun of me and my husband because we will get in a conversation about the best chicken fried steak meal in our area or which restaraunt has the best fried pickles. When I am stressed I want to eat, when I am excited I want to eat, when I am sad I want to eat, When I am alone I want to eat and so on and so on. If I am going out to lunch with a friend at work now I have to find out where we are going and sit down at that place's website and figure up a meal in my calorie range. I do this for hours at a time planning just one meal. If I were to go in and not planned I will order my usual bre-banded meals still! Obsession with food is something I am seriously thinking of going to a shrink for. I don't know what started it, but I know it is nothing I can kick on my own.

The reason my band works for me is not because of the little bit of restriction I feel on occasion, but because I told everyone I was having this surgery and now that I have had it I will be the biggest loser ever if I don't lose the weight. All of my friends feel it is so drastic so I feel I would let them down if it didn't work, so see even with the band I am still losing weight for other people and not myself. I don't have excuses anymore for my portions when I have a band. That right there is why I love my band...It no longer lets me make excuses to myself and when you constantly have people asking how you are doing it makes all the differece in the world to not want to look like a loser to them and keep the weight on. Obsession is a biatch!

[beergut 2]

I'd write something new, but this basically sums me up to a T. Spot on. 100% every line

I am FAT because:

1. I love food
2. I love cooking and tasting what I cook
3. I love carbs i.e. Pasta, breads, chips etc.
4. I can't say no.
5. I always felt pressured to lose weight, and it never felt as if I wanted to do it so I just ate more.
6. I have never really changed my lifestyle of eating habits.
7. I do not exercise regularly.
8. Food makes me feel happy.
9. I used food as a band aid.
10. I never liked or loved myself.

[CRay1972 0]

Hmmm. I've never really thought about this question before - perhaps because I never really wanted to admit to myself that I was, well, fat, heh.

A lot of the reasons given do apply to me, as well, though I hesitate to put all of the blame on my childhood (it seems to be the typical thing to do, especially when one's in therapy like I am). My therapist would also ask me why I'm hesitating. I was more or less emotionally abused by my family (pretty much everyone), as well as severely neglected for a good deal of the time - I had to pretty much raise myself from the time I was 7 years old. When I turned 11 and hit puberty, that's when all of the weight gain started, and it hasn't stopped since. I suspect that I may have PCOS and/or endometriosis - I have a lot of the symptoms of it - and that probably doesn't help things. But I think that a key issue may be that I want to keep people away from me and keep from being "noticed" - so I deliberately make myself look unattractive so that I can keep my emotional walls up and stay "on guard". The few times in childhood that I was noticed, it was usually because I was in trouble or being blamed for something.

Ugh, just reading that makes me want to cry.

[Auburn 0]

I'm fairly new to this forum, but I'm really interested in this thread, because it shows that there are a lot of factors in what leads to someone becomes obese.

For me, in order to dissect why I'm fat, that involves going all the way back to my infancy, when my parents divorced and my Dad left my Mom. I was always big for my age, but since my Mom couldn't cook, due to working, most of my childhood meals were of the McDonald's Happy variety (I used to have boxes and boxes of toys that I got in those things). I started gaining weight, and gradually, the teasing from other kids coupled with not being able to keep up made me kinda introverted, and I stayed inside a lot. When I started school, the teasing only got worse, not just from other students, but even being belittled by some of my teachers because I was slower than everyone else. I stopped going outside when I was home, and I was either playing with Barbies, or reading. I played with Barbies until I was about twelve.

Things only got worse in middle school. Whether I knew it or not, I was feeding whatever loneliness I had with food. I had a few friends, but I'd grown so cynical and awkward through the years that I never really spent time with any of them outside of school, and sometimes I wasn't even sure if I liked them. It was getting harder to dress me, since all I wanted to wear was black. I thought almost constantly about killing myself. I hated my body and I hated who I was. Even now, I always say that middle school were the worst years of my life.

At the end of middle school, students in my district can apply to attend a vocational technical school, which accepted a limited number of students from other districts. I was lucky enough to get in, and I went in with pretty much the same attitude I had in middle school. But this time, I met a lot of people who, in their own way, were misfits in their schools, and I made a lot of great friendships that actually felt genuine. Things were a lot better; I started wearing colors, I went to sleepovers. But, even with having a bunch of great new friends, I was still the biggest one in my little group, so the sense that I was inferior still remained. It affected my grades significantly; it's a wonder that I managed to graduate. Even now, my lack of self-esteem affects my ability to motivate myself. I didn't date at all in high school. I was happier, but I still kept shoveling in my emotions with food, and I kept gaining weight. By the time I graduated in 2009, I was in the 300 lb range.

Since then, there was a great rise and fall of my activity and progress. I started doing Live Action Roleplaying, which involved a lot of physical activity, particularly hiking...lots and lots of hiking. It seemed perfect for me, since it was fun and exercise. But after awhile, it because too much physical exertion for me, and I had to stop. My social activity became (and still somewhat is) exclusively online, so I can sit in my bed.

...It's really difficult to reveal all of this, because it feels like so much of it is my fault. I mean, it is, but I don't know how to live life any differently. That's why I'm maybe hoping that the physical restrictions that I get from the Band, should I choose to go through with it, can help me live a healthier lifestyle.