Why are YOU Fat?

[ava 0]

Wow. I'm not alone. Thank you, everyone, for sharing your stories.

[nanahanna 1]

I was thin, painfully thin as a child and adolescent but more normal as a teen and until I was 41 years old. My dad came down with lung cancer. He, my mom, my sister and I were all smokers. When he was in the hospital getting chemotherapy we would go to the "family" room and smoke. Then 3 months before he died I decided I didn't want to die like that so I quit. That was 20 years ago this past November. I substituted food for cigarettes and that started the weight problems. I have struggled with it for 20 years, but now it is an addiction. I eat whether I am hungry or not. I eat just because I can. I eat late into the night. But, I would rather be fat than die with lung cancer. My mom died 4 years ago this Valentine's Day with emphysema, my sister (only sibling) died 10 months after my mother with lung cancer. Now ...if I don't get this weight off me I will die with diabetes, heart disease, hypertension or some other related disease! I have also had a dysfunctional marriage until the last few years when things have gotten some better, but I think that has been part of my problem....like Jack...that is the only part of my life that I could control...if you can call getting obese is control. I had wonderful childhood with wonderful parents...no obesity in anyone else in my family...I'm the lone duck (the one who waddles).

Sharon

[ms_efflorescent 0]

I am fat because a mixture of some of the already listed things, most specifically a mentally ill family, large portions, numbing to much constant thinking and anxiety but I feel the biggest reason that I am fat is that I dieted myself to fatness.

I first started dieting when I was 14 and in no way fat but wanted to conform and be more normal and my eatign was the only thing in my life that I had any control over. It has been one big revolving circel since then; diet until I am starving, eat too much to make up for it, hate myself, diet and starve myself, eat too much to make up for it, hate myself...

All that dieting wreaked havoc on my metabolism and my general health. I used to have a lot of energy, now I have none.

Three weeks banded, 21.5 pounds gone since beginning the pre-surgery diet and and I am already beginning to feel better.

Serena

[fiveholts714 0]

Because I don't know how to eat normally.

[DiDi 0]

I agree: "feeling of satiety". I can eat & eat till I am literally sick before I feel full. I hope this stops when I get banded.

With me it is kind of wierd, I was exceptionally tall & skinny all through childhood up to about age 30 (well OK I'm still tall!). Was on doctor prescribed diet & Protein Drinks to gain weight. My knees used to be the thickest part of my legs. LOL they sure did me up good. Now up to BMI of 39, I think. Maybe I just got used to eating huge portions & no one taught me how to stop once I quit being skinny.

But I'm ready to learn NOW!!!!

[aneffie53 0]

Beautifultina -- boy did this ring true for me too, distrubingly so!!!

"My weight allowed me that safe zone so that men would find me unattractive and leave me alone."

[newgirl 0]

I struggled with fat all my life. wt. on, wt off. I ate because I loved to eat. Flavors, textures, smells, chocolate! Moods didn't seem to have a lot to do with it though I have had low grade depression much of my life. I'm sure antidepressants didn't help, since they tend to stimulate the appetite. Now that I'm banded, (one week and 1 day), my biggest concern is getting all the liquids in. food or eating is not an issue so far. I'm feeling better day by day. I definitely think I have done the right thing. I am looking forward to exercize. Now that I've lost 25 pounds I think it will be easier.

[newgirl 0]

I struggled with fat all my life. wt. on, wt off. :Bunny I ate because I loved to eat. Flavors, textures, smells, chocolate! Moods didn't seem to have a lot to do with it though I have had low grade depression much of my life.:phanvan I'm sure antidepressants didn't help, since they tend to stimulate the appetite. :cry Now that I'm banded, (one week and 1 day), my biggest concern is getting all the liquids in. :paranoid food or eating is not an issue so far. I'm feeling better day by day. I definitely think I have done the right thing. I am looking forward to exercize. Now that I've lost 25 pounds I think it will be easier.

[LivinNY 0]

Why am I fat?... I have thought about it for a while and I really think it has a lot to do with my genes... but also... for as long as I can remember we were always told to "eat whats on your dish".. you just didn't leave the table unless you ATE EVERYTHING on your dish. Also... we were taught.. Breakfast ... lunch.. and dinner were a must... everyday.. wether or you were hungry or not... you were made to eat... and eat everything you were given..

As my children were growing up.. I chose to let them eat when THEY were HUNGRY.. not because I made a meal.. if they weren't hungry I would warm it up later... having a microwave made this easy.

My children have grown up (22&20 years old).. normal sized people.. actually my daughter is a 5'8" twig.. beautiful if I say so myself..

I really believe people should eat when they are hungry.. Having this surgery has given me that opportunity to learn to eat when I am hungry.. not because its time to eat... okay I am rambling on here...

Just my two cents...

[tatsmom 0]

When I was growing up my stepdad liked to tell my mom how fat she was (5' 2" 110). Then he started in on me. I always thought I was fat. That's what I was told so that's what I believed. Because my stepdad never, and I mean never, let me have sweets I learned to become a closet eater, quite literally. We had a big walk in pantry. I would go in there, close the door, turn on the light and stuff my face with anything sweet I could get my hands on. I was an adult before I realized that I really wasn't a fat kid, I was normal, really. I wasn't even chubby.

I carried my closet eating habits over into adulthood. I remember the first time I felt like my relationship to food was unusual. Shortly after I married my DH I asked his permission to eat some oreos. He said "you're a grow woman, if you want Cookies eat them. You don't need to ask me". He was the only man I had lived with since my evil stepdad. I thought "wow, I can eat sweets in front of someone and not be ridiculed, COOL".

Pre band I loved those rare times when I had the house all to my self so I could sit in front of the TV with my favorite lover, usually in the form of chocolate, and pig out. Now I am looking forward to developing a whole new attitude toward food. Eat to live not live to eat. I can't wait to have a life that's not completelly controlled by food, scales, and sizes.

Remember...With God ALL things are possible!!

[migbt 0]

Wow... what a great thread... thank you! Everyone had such great things to say and the honesty here, WOW

I had a happy childhood.... life was normal, mom, dad, brothers. Uppermiddles class living. I sometimes try to look back and "find" a reason. My Dr. says something triggered my eating... I think "what"? I am surpressing some horrible thing, well, I have given up with the Why.. for me it is simple....

I have an addictive personality.

I am addicted to anything that will change the way I feel about myself. You are all smart and can fill in the detials. I can't have one of ANYTHING!

I am looking foward to getting banded to "help" me succeed in something that I have struggled with for to many years. IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMOE WHAT HAPPENS, IT MATTERS WHAT I DO ABOUT IT!

So that is my two cents. I leave on Tuesday for surgery in Mexico. Nernous, scared, tired, excited.... you name it I feel it.

I love you all for your honesty, openmind and willingness... that is HOW IT WORKS....

[Mothernature 0]

Hmm. Why AM I fat? I am thinking this one over. I think a little bit is genetic. Both of my parents had a weight problem. Emotional eating is the basis of it. One parent was a binge alcoholic and the other was just an alcoholic towards the end of life.

Though us kids were provided for financially. The uncertainty of what you were going be greeted with when we got off the bus was a worry for me. Some of my brothers and sister compensated for it by either being "big drinkers" once they left home, or (1) being an overachiver in his business life (I think to prove he is "good" as the other people-BTW-he isn't fat), or being fat (me).

Both parents passed away, my daddy was killed in an accident (when he was drunk) by driving into a moving train when I was 12, and my mom died of cancer 4 years later. I went to live with my sister at 16, and she was into her own thing at that time-drinking and partying due to a divorce-and she wanted me to babysit every weekend. I rebelled! I wanted to party too because of dealing with all of the emotional crap of losing my parents so young. I was thinking, "Party on, because you're next in line!"

So I moved out and was on my own at a very early age. I should have stayed there and babysat, as it turned out! At that time I was wearing size 12-13. I thought I was HUGE at a size 12. My sister was a size 8, so to compare myself to her, I was huge. Now I don't see it the same way. So I left her home, partied til I was emotionally bankrupted, and finally called an end to the party at the age of 21!

I met my husband and we got married. It's been a tough marriage in some ways. He would stay out when we were first married until midnight-1 am, and he had a hard time getting up to go to work. He would leave me without a car, money, diapers, and cigarettes. So we worked thru all that crap (I left him for about a month when I was pregnant with our second child). I guess he really did like having us around. He straightened up about his own partying and getting to work. It is amazing he didn't get fired. BUT, he turned it into passive agressive behavior. HE would not leave the house for anything! It was a big, big happening when he went to family things. I have gone to many family functions without him thru the years. Until I left him again just a few years ago over his personality issues, I guess with age he mellowed..... He will attend some stuff now, but he usually just sits in a chair watching tv or sleeping! so thru the years, I have tried to be both father and mother to my kids, and I guess I got into the "after the kids go to bed because all this junk is not good for them type snacking". And I drink a lot of Coca Cola. NOT diet Coke. So here I am, 27 years later, overweight by 100 pounds. That's my story. YIKES, I need really do need theraphy!!!

I am really not sure I want to post this, but I am going to "Post Quick Reply"....here goesss....click!

[MzzNet 0]

:embarassed: AMEN!! I have most of the same problems as the anyone else venting but mine goes a little deeper it started 5 yrs ago I was at a good place in my lifeI started having female problems bleeding that would not stop to make along story straight I had to have a hysterectomy and before the hyst.I bleed for what seem like forever I would not go anywere I was scared because I would bleed on some everybodys seats it happen before so doing all this time was eating and eating and eating and eating ....after surgery I lost a little weight but not that much may be 20lbs. went back to work started eating more not exercising and eating in bed not exercising sitting on my ass. more and more I got to the point to where I would not go into a store a grocery store a mall not out to dinner no where if i had to find something to where nothing would fit now I, weight 340 lbs and started getting scared I would pick a fight with my husband so he would not ask me to go with him anywhere I would love to go to church I don''t because I don't like me and I know its something I;m going pray on and change the way i see me. but it hurts so bad when people look at you and judge you by your size it hurts so bad when you are fat people don't see you they see fat !! so now I" hoping this will change and god willing i can go and sit in church and thank God for touching and working thru all of our surgeons hands for Giving us hope and a new lease on life ,and thats when I CAN REALLY SAY THANK YOU!! GOD.

WAITING for surgery date....

[Mags 0]

I think the reasons for being overweight/obese my whole life are many. My dad died when I was five and our family situation was pretty sad in general. I remember being a real anxious kid. I discovered at an early age that eating tons of starch (in those days bread) made me feel physically better. Using food as a tool to beat back anxiety and depression has followed me my whole life. Does anyone else relate to this?

Mags

[dovie6523 0]

I think the reasons for being overweight/obese my whole life are many. My dad died when I was five and our family situation was pretty sad in general. I remember being a real anxious kid. I discovered at an early age that eating tons of starch (in those days bread) made me feel physically better. Using food as a tool to beat back anxiety and depression has followed me my whole life. Does anyone else relate to this?

Mags

Yes! That and I started gaining after my tonsillectomy. I have heard that there could be some link between the two.