Why are YOU Fat?

[Dominic 0]

Thanks. I couldn't even imagine if my Dad had did something like that. That has to be the worst thing. I know women who knew what was happeneing to their daughters and did nothing. I don't understand that. It happened to my cousin. Her step father was raping her and her mother knew about it and didn't do anything. She even walked in on him molesting her and she didn't say anything, just turned around and walked off. My cousin died a while back in a car accident, but I still have bad feelings toward my aunt.

Jesus, that's a horror story. I don't understand why some people are compelled to commit those kinds of acts. I feel so bad for women/men that have to grow up with it, because in more ways than one, they're handicapped during their development as young adults (sometimes forever).

My heart goes out to anyone that has to endure something that scarring. I'd be horrified if one of my siblings went through something like that.

The only thing I can complain about is that my dad made food and being overweight such a big issue as a kid, that I think I may have developed issues with overeating. I don't believe that it was a conscience effort on his part, but I do feel that I developed an unhealthy relationship with food as a result, which is unfortunate.

[Carrie_C 9]

My Mom made weight a big deal too. She was always on a diet and was constantly comparing herself to other women. I was pretty heavy when I was little and I remember her saying that I was going to be heavy just like her when I grew up. Everytime we were out somewhere, when she would see a heavy woman, she would always ask, "Am I as big as her?" It used to drive me nuts.

[smsmithart 4]

i was fat because i like sugar and have pcos....pie cake ice cream they were my best friends after a really bad break up...

[Stormys007 0]

I had never had a weight problem until I got pregnant. When I was pregnant, I could not eat. I lost 36 pounds. I was so sick. They had to put me on meds to help me eat. Then he came and all I could do was eat. I was so afraid that I would never eat again. So food became my friend. Post Pardium and food, what a combo. Seemed like I always had something in my mouth. 4 years later I took a look at myself and didn't know who I was. I miss the old me, I am hoping the band will get me back where I was. Control is a huge issue. I always feel bad that I did not finish my dinner. I am having to learn all over again that it is ok to say I am done and put the food away. I also am learning about better choices in what I eat. The band is a huge learning experience. I feel like a skinny person in a fat body, it is very strange.:thumbup:

[Carrie_C 9]

I know EXACTLY what you mean. I feel like a skinny person in a fat suit that I can't take off. :thumbup: But the band is helping me lose it.

[EmpressLizBunny 18]

first let me preface with i have asperger's syndrome a form of high functioning autism so i felt like "the whole world was mad at me and i couldn't understand why"- a direct quote from my aunt who is just like me (except she is my mom's age and is less over weight) also as a result of the disorder i have anxiety and depression a very small part of why I'm over weight is control issues (I cant control any thing else but if I want to eat this I can) but its mostly that I don’t process different signals from my body very well so my body doesn't tell me when I'm not hungry just when I'm over full also if I'm doing something (like eating) I continue to do it unless something makes me stop (its an inertia problem)

also i feel "safe" fat people don't put as many social demands on a fat person

i hope my post makes any sense to all of you (now back to reading the rest of the posts here I'm only up to pg 10)

[STLMom2006 0]

I'm fat because I love food and have no self control. I eat when i'm happy, sad, stressed, relaxed. I am fat because even though I am motivated inside, I get tired and let it take over and let myself slide quickly back into bad habits.

I'm a hottie inside just like the movie Shallow Hal, just waiting to get out. LOL

[Shish 0]

Ok i have tried to write this but its too much so i will do it like a rough time line lol

1965 born

66 parents divorce as dad got aunt pregnant when i was 1 month old

Mum single parent living between grandparents home and traveling between states

74 s/penetrated ect: by mum's best friend (8yrs old)

NOW....we move from state! ((((mind blank))))))

Living with grandparents, aunt and uncle & Great gran

Mum has new couple of men over next few years.....

One she has my brother too violence and mental abuse and he used drugs adventually,he was in and out of jail....on and off for years with him,threats ect ends up in paper as 10 mast wanted....

Next guy....

we share room with mum huge room at grandparents but we hear him sneak in late at night and having sex in room ,aggressive sex..very very violent man, not to me but my mother mum lost all her front teeth one time lol he ends up in someones book they wrote ...

1978- Finaly mum decides to remarry to a man who she had been friends with since they were kids apparently for us so we had a dad!

Mum decides to get her freinds from interstate....to look after my brother and i but didnt tell me until they were there....

The friends family come from interstate and he tries to start with me again this time i know i scream shut myself in room,,,his wife has been at shop comes in blah blah blah tells him im just being a bitc.but im older and tell a good family friend, finally, i was terrified but glad!

We go to mum she sceams at me that im lying and he would never do that to her, we dont speak of it for years....

Married to new man who i knew all my life,6 months into it, the violence and drinking start this goes on for 12 years..... i occupied myself i started going out to clubs at 14 drinking,dancing funny thing meaningless sex as i hate being home almost every night was violent eg: broken noses,arms ect!

2 years later the worst happens we loose 4 relatives on fathers day also my aunts birthday my mum had organised party for aunt so they go out and she tries to pretend nothing has happened OMG!

my grandfather hit a tree head on and kills himself,my nan,his sister and my nans sister lives three more days..took 5 hours to cut their bodies free!

So all hell breaks loose in my house as if it could get any worse BUT IT DID!

At the time a boyfriend I had even slept once in our yard as he worried about us....lol he dumps me that year too much i guess!

I was terified to bring friends home when i did they normally never spoke to me again once they had the experience with the exception of one and she said dont worry my parents are the same....mum tells me its my fault they argue lol i come home my brother hides in my cupboard all the time at 11 he is diagnosed as Biapolar....

Finaly i move as i get introuble sort of and police take me to where i say i live my older friend she takes me in!

Bliss normal stuff until she leaves him anyway time moves on....

I meet someone get engaged happy happy but i have fears trouble trusting ect!!

My stepbrother who i have been close too all my life is in accident becomes Quad at 19 ....i help him for some time but watch as his life just becomes drugs and grog until he after several failed attemps of suicide -chokes on his own vomit 10 yrs later!

I meet another man but im engaged to someone else for 5 yrs i love this man but from afar....finaly after he starts being violent to me, i kick him out!

LOL now the one i watched from afar was a "gift" everyone thought i gone nuts i moved interstate gave up my house ect!

I married him , 2 miscarriages but then 5 kids then we adopted one,still married been together now over 20 yrs!

But in this time my brother is sick for years i cant even go into... but we tried eveything he dissapears from a hospital that he has been forced into under crisis basically he dissapears we travel to a state as friend of mums is in bank an secrectly tells us he is in another state..we walk Kings cross with photos ect he has been missing 10 days ,,,,,,,,,mothers day in the motel the police come to door he has been dead for 9 days of a drug over dose in a pub i cant write any more on him now.....!

My husbands brother (my friend) dies almost same way but perscription drugs

I am an only child....

I made sure i stayed so far away,my kids are wonderful really and my husband well patient as i was so protective of our kids ect!

I am motionless without his heart beat next to mine!

He is a good man....

I think he was a"gift"

I hated everything that happened to me but i tell you except for loosing my family if everthing that happened to me has led me to this point in my life............

It was "bloody" worth it! i never won tattslotto ect but somehow i have a real "soulmate"

During these times i have been size8 to 28

I ate to escape at night because when i eat i dont think!

Then when i was thin i would keep myself like that by making myself vomit laxatives ect!

Then up and down for years until i stopped consuming real food and started to eat 6 blocks of chocolate per day for years!

I still cant sleep more than 4 if im lucky 5 hours per night....

BUT three days ago mum and i yelled it out at first, lol she tells me she went to his death bed to confront him..haha i bet it made her feel better did nothing for me!

Anyway you can imagine there is alot more to this story....it is not something i try to dwell on anymore!

But i think i ate lol because I STOP THINKING!

Oh and i love my mother she was nieve and has always trusted everyone we work hard at us now!

She is remarried "again" i was matron of honour! this one is just rude & sarcastic...lol but we now live in another country lol but hey she is happy with it!

This is hard but i hope that it helps someone who maybe thinks they are alone "YOUR NOT"

I have now lost about 47 kilos 99lbs? gave up smoking after 5 attemps! and i'm a work in progress!

My hubby had a model after him yrs ago...he told me "some ppl are ugly on the inside"

Thanks for listening to my rantings....:-) sorry!

Ps: Only 1 relative on each side got big ....

[spudgirl 0]

I relate to that very much. When I was a kid my dad always said eat everything on your plate cause I don't go to work everyday to pay for that and you to waste it. Especially when we went out to eat that was a big deal. We always had to finish our food. Now please don't get me wrong I'm not blaming my weight problems on my dad it's just that he instilled something in me that I have a hard time giving up today. And when I first moved out of my parents house it was very hard sometimes to make ends meet and so I would go without food to have everything else. So to this day it's very hard for me to leave the table with food still sitting on my plate. I feel like I'm wasting it or that it's a waste of money if I don't eat it all.

[Kat817 19]

Spudgirl, as your weight continues to drop, you (if you do like I did anyway!) will come to a point that you can look at the excess food and decide if you want it to go to WASTE...or eat it and let it go to WAIST. When I could see with my own eyes, the band was working, and my weight was becoming something I could control.....the waste vs. waist was an easy choice!!! And I soon learned to cook less, and not make it an issue!!!

Good Luck!

Kat

[spudgirl 0]

Thank you, Kat. That's good news. I know that my band is working I just can't see it when I look at myself in the mirror yet. I can't wait for that day. I'm still fairly new to the whole band thing though so getting advice and tips from other people like you is really great. Thanks again and congrats on all of your weight loss!

[Locomotive Engineer 0]

My reason for being so obese was also Portion Control. Or should I say lack of it. I consumed un-real amounts of food whenever I would eat. We didn't have alot of money when I was growing up as a kid, but there was always food. I wasn't a "fat" kid at all. I didn't start putting on weight until I was in my early 30's. I am 6'2" and I never weighed more than 225 lbs. I started putting the tonnage on in my early 30's and let myself balloon up to 376 lbs. I hadn't been able to see what I weighed for 15 years plus. The scale in my family doctors office only went up to 350 lbs and I would peg the scale every time I stepped on it.

On my initial vist to my wls surgeon they had me step on the scale and when those little red didital numbers read 376 lbs it was all I could do to hold the tears back. I just thought to myself, "What in the hell have you done to yourself?" It was a time in my life that I will never forget.

I'm a little over two weeks out from my surgery and have lost a total of 55 lbs since that initial day at the doctors office. This decision that I made to get the band was the very best thing that I have ever done for myself. The surgery was a piece of cake. I pray and wish nothing but the best for YOU, all of my fellow band brothers and sisters. Merry Christmas.

[GBT 0]

I had been a skinny kid until the third grade, when being the smartest kid in school started causing problems with peer relationships. It all went downhill from there, and I used food as a source of pleasure in my life to blunt the fact that other kids didn't like me. My father died when I was 14, and the role of food as a source of pleasure and satisfaction increased. However, I played sports and was able to keep from being obese. During college, I was broke a lot since I was working my way through school, and I learned some very bad eating habits. I went from mild overeating to full on gorge myself when I had money to eat. That led to eating until I couldn't breathe or felt completely stuffed instead of eating until I wasn't hungry anymore. However, I was very active with activities and walking 5 miles or more every day on campus, so I managed to hold off any weight gain. After college I got a tech support job working at a desk 8 hours a day and went from wearing size 38 pants to size 50 on my wedding day in just 3 short years. I have worn size 50-52 pants since then. My basic problem is the inability to be satisfied unless I'm stuffed to the gills. I've trained myself that I'm either hungry or stuffed. I've been working on fixing this, but it's hard. It's hardest when I miss a meal because I have a hectic work schedule that dictates how I spend my time and sometimes means I miss scheduled meal times, and I get so hungry that I overeat and then some when I do eat. I've tried eating six smaller meals throughout the day, and it helps when I can stick to the schedule, as I never get so hungry that I go nuts. So, my food issues are psychological, even though I blossomed socially when I as a teenager. That, coupled with my sedentary lifestyle has resulted in me being 365 lbs. I carry a lot of muscle, but I'm still very much morbidly obese and fat.

[EmmaWang 0]

Let's look at my pre-band daily menu and see why I am fat!

Breakfast:

Chickfil a chicken biscuit with hashbrown and ketchup and a large coke.

Lunch:

McDonald's Big Mac meal supersized with a coke and apple pie

Dinner:

Mexican restaurant with chips and hot sauce, then huge plate of beef nachos and about 4 cokes then sophapillas for dessert!

Never one minute of exercise and I sit at a desk all day in front of a computer.

I have eaten this way my entire life. I am from the south so my mother only cooked deep fried southern meals as I grew up and I loved every bit of them.

I do have an obsession with food. I think about it constantly. I love to watch cooking shows and our friends make fun of me and my husband because we will get in a conversation about the best chicken fried steak meal in our area or which restaraunt has the best fried pickles. When I am stressed I want to eat, when I am excited I want to eat, when I am sad I want to eat, When I am alone I want to eat and so on and so on. If I am going out to lunch with a friend at work now I have to find out where we are going and sit down at that place's website and figure up a meal in my calorie range. I do this for hours at a time planning just one meal. If I were to go in and not planned I will order my usual bre-banded meals still! Obsession with food is something I am seriously thinking of going to a shrink for. I don't know what started it, but I know it is nothing I can kick on my own.

The reason my band works for me is not because of the little bit of restriction I feel on occasion, but because I told everyone I was having this surgery and now that I have had it I will be the biggest loser ever if I don't lose the weight. All of my friends feel it is so drastic so I feel I would let them down if it didn't work, so see even with the band I am still losing weight for other people and not myself. I don't have excuses anymore for my portions when I have a band. That right there is why I love my band...It no longer lets me make excuses to myself and when you constantly have people asking how you are doing it makes all the differece in the world to not want to look like a loser to them and keep the weight on. Obsession is a biatch!

Hi, just read your post and I think I have a similar situation as you. I am also obsessed with food. When I go to McDonald, I could eat a large size big Mac meal (including large size French fries) plus an additional regular size French fries. That means one big Mac, two French fries and one diet coke. I too, want to eat when I am happy, sad or stressed. When I am alone, I also tend to find something to put in my mouth even though sometimes I am not hungry. I haven't had my lab band surgery yet. I am still waiting for the insurance to approve it. I see you have lost more than 70 pounds in 2005. Your goal weight is the same as mine. I also want to reach 130 pounds. I am only 5"2. Have you reached your goal weight yet? If you have, how long did it take you? With the band, you don't feel hungry anymore, do you? Thanks. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

[Lana24 10]

I posted a while back but since my surgery something has become very clear to me.

No more excuses, I am fat because I eat too much.

I am fat because I make myself fat... using food as a comfort for being alone, using food as fuel when I am sick, using food because sometimes its the only "extra" I can afford. I can undo what I have done and I will...

I used to blame an unhappy childhood, feeling completely unloved.

Now I realize my parents are idiots and life can be good.

Edited January 23, 2009 by Lana24
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