Do you tell your kids about having LBS?

[bonniep 0]

We all come here with different backgrounds and issues and for me, "weight," is very loaded. I chose to not tell anyone about my WLS because I didn't want any questions and I certainly don't want anyone looking over my shoulder asking me how much weight I've lost to date, etc. It's not that I'm choosing to hide behind a veil and lie to the world about my weight loss (I'm not filled or restricted yet, so the weight loss is not noticeable to date). I'm a very private person and I'm never going to be shouting about the lap band from the rooftops. It's not who I am.

I guess I lied to my kids when my husband and I told them I was at a conference when I was really home recovering from surgery. I had no qualms about telling them, but I wanted to be able to do it in person. When I told my daughter last week, she wasn't angry at me for "lying," to her. She well understood that I wanted to tell her in person and not on the phone or on the computer. My son will probably understand as well when I tell him, the next time I see him.

I will NEVER tell my mother. She's 84 and while she's of sound mind, she will have too many questions that will feel very intrusive to me. Weight is a very loaded issue for me when it comes to my mother -- she's been thin all of her life -- and I don't wish to discuss my weight or WLS with her.

I think whether to disclose or not is a very personal issue based on who we are and where we come from in our lives. While some people may choose to tell people, others may choose not to. It's not a matter of continuing on with the lying and deception -- it's simply a choice that's we all have to make. Ultimately, we make the choice that's best for each of us.

b.

[findingme 0]

Both my children know that I had surgery and what it is for. As a matter of fact anyone (for the most part) who knows me knows I had weight loss surgery. I want people to have the option to talk to me if they that they may want this surgery. I dont feel it was an easy way out but if people ask ....what did you do to lose weight I tell them.

Also, prewarning for all those who think there children will grow up thin because they have thin children....I was one of those thin childen. Bony, thin as a rail.....size zero in college. Well I had surgery at 328 pounds. I had established bad eating habits as an adult.

My children are proud of me for my weight loss and they see the struggles that I do through....a food item stuck, not able to eat certain foods, how hard it can be to work out....they will in know way think this is easy and let me gain weight because I can have surgery. I believe in honesty.

Shannon

[Blund 0]

If you've only gotten positive feedback, you are lucky. I have read many many threads about the negative comments from family as well as strangers, which seem to outnumber the positive. Everyone's situation is different (as is being said here a lot!). Some bandsters have toxic families and/or co-workers that cannot be totally avoided. I like this forum for the ideas and experiences of others. I have not been banded, so "telling or not telling" is not an issue yet, but it is on my mind. I'm so glad to be able to come here and read about others' experiences.

Thanks to you all for your stories!

[destiny79 0]

my kids are too young to understand 4 and 9 but they are happy I am losing

[bonniep 0]

Shannon,

We are not here to place our value judgements on others. I happen to be a very honest person, thank you. Just because I've chosen to keep my surgery mostly to myself doesn't make me a liar. What you do and how you do it may be right for *you* but not necessarily right for me or for others. We are all here to be part of a loving and accepting community. Please check your condescending attitude at the door. Thank you.

[findingme 0]

Bonnieiep....in no way was I calling you a liar for not telling people about your surgery. She asked who has done what and I told her what I chose to do. I struggled with if I would or would not tell people. I felt I would benefit more people by telling them that I did have it. I apologize if you thought I had an attitude. It was not meant to come across that way.

As for the prewarning about people with thin children. I thought they might be interested in my story as far as being a thin child and young adult. I have read to often of people on these boards who have struggled all of there lives with weight.

Shannon

[Blund 0]

I was a thin kid too, for what its worth! Didn't start gaining until my 1st (bad) marriage. Hmmmmmm I think he felt "safe" with me being heavy.

I just recently hit the milestone of telling my girls (7 & 9) about sex! Whew! Then, I had to tell the 9 year old that the tooth fairy and Easter Bunny is her mom and dad! I had to ask her not to tell and spoil it for the little ones. I kinda feel like I'm pulling the childhood rug out from under them right now! :rolleyes2:

[bonniep 0]

I'm sorry if I overreacted Shannon. I guess I interpreted your post very differently than how you meant it. Let's agree to put this misunderstanding behind us and move forward from here. We're all in the same boat and we need everyone to row, as it were! Have a wonderful day.

b.

[findingme 0]

lol blund...I am with you on having the sex talk with my kids. Hate it. lol.

bonniep I am with you under the rug...forgotten.....this is a struggle for all of us and need all the support I can get.

Shannon

[Gordon C 0]

I told my older kids and they have all been supportive in the kind of "not really interested way" that only teenagers can accomplish.

My six year old knows that I'm going off on a course for a few days to help me lose weight and that I'm going to eat differently when I come back. She says she'll help me because she knows all about only eating small amounts very slowly !!