For those with BMI 35-40?

[4jin 0]

just wanted to say hi fellow lower bmi'ers

[girlygirlz 0]

Debi - Why does your husband not support you? Is it because of the cost? Is he afraid of the surgery?Gastric bypass can be very dangerous - I have heard of people who died from complications but lap band is super safe! Maybe you need to tell him that. Is he also overweight and afraid of losing his eating partner or maybe afraid of you being skinny? Does he just think you should be able to lose on your own? Depending on why he is against it I think you should be able to convince him. I was banded on 12/17/07 and I feel great! The first two weeks were tough for me because I had shoulder pain (probably worse because I had a hernia repair) I will tell you that I have no regrets at all. I have lost 23 pounds since my pre-op diet. My weight loss has slowed now because I have not been exercising (had a bad cold) And I am waiting for my first fill. The great thing about this surgery is not only is it reversable but if you don't have any fills in the band you function pretty much like pre-surgery. The band is meant to be filled but if you hate life with fills you can unfill and be back to pretty much normal. So the way I saw it when I decided to have the surgery is that there was little risk. If I was miserable I could get the band unfilled. However I plan on getting fills and making the band work for me. If you have been so frustrated with your weight that you have gone this far with your surgery journey I think you are ready. As far as support goes after the first week of surgery you really don't need any more support with the lap band than you need with going on any diet. You will need to change your eating habits and start exercising but you would need to do that if you joined weight watchers!!! This site is a great place for support and questions good luck and listen to your heart first:smile:

[CRTX 0]

I started with a BMI of 40.2 (highest I've ever been). I definitely fit the scenario of "if you wait long enough, you'll get there". I was banded yesterday (1/23) and during the 2 week pre-op diet dropped 18 pounds to get to a BMI of 37.6 - I'd like to get to somewhere between a 26 and 27.

I've taken the approach of telling only my wife and kids. I don't need anyone else to know because of the kinds of responses that everyone has written about. I guess my attitude is that I alone really know the struggles I've been through and I would rather not have to constanly explain, defend, etc my decision. It really isn't anyone else's business how I choose to deal with my obesity. My wife and kids have been very supportive and that is really all I need to get through this.

Kind of funny but I'm not even telling my mother because she's the type who can't help but "share" good news with others. She once announced to everyone at a party that I had lost 35 pounds on a liquid diet! It was embarassing as hell!

[carol413 0]

Hey GMA, I am in the same situation as you-I weigh 225 and am 5 ft. 4. I just got my surg date-Feb. 15

[carol413 0]

I'm getting nervous-especially about eating and drinking. I don't like a lot of the stuff you are able to eat post op

[carol413 0]

Hi, My surg is Feb. 15, I am excited but nervous as heck. I have the whole following week off for vaca since i work in a school system. I hope I feel well enough to go back after a week.

[ugagirl 0]

Wow-I'm sorry to read that so many of you got those negative reactions from family/friends/co-workers. My friends and family have been great but I'm not out telling the whole world, but unfortunately my mom is and I had to tell her today to please zip her lip b/c I didn't want my entire hometown knowing about this.

I'm glad I stumbled upon this thread. Today I went for my pre-op appt with my surgeon, who does mostly RNY. One of the other patients looked over at her friend and said she'd kill to be my size b/c she wouldn't be in there going through all this. She made remarks about me having my legs crossed (I guess she can't cross hers)...it made me uncomfortable, like she was saying "Why the hell are you here?" My BMI is 39 and I certainly have plenty of weight to lose! I couldn't wait to get called back so I could get away from her.

ronwifey-I totally agree with what you said about working with women. I am not telling any of the women I work with for that very reason. They are horrible to talk about someone behind their back, but butter them up to their face. I don't want any of their compliments or praise b/c I know it's not coming from a good place.

[CINDY115 0]

I know what you mean, I don't feel like I'm getting support from friends and familiy either. My husband doesn't want me to get the surgery but when we met I weighed 123 pounds and you'd think he'd want to see me the way I was but not so much I guess. So you are not alone RONWIFEY but you have to think this is what is right for you.

[Jachut 487]

Oh ugagirl, yes, I've had fat discrimination from other fat people.

In fact at a BMI of 35, which afterall is quite "normal" looking in society these days, I've never actually felt discriminated against for my weight EXCEPT at places like Weight Watchers from people who were much heavier than me.

I thought everyone who had a BMI of 50, must have had a BMI of 35 at least once in their life? Its a pathway to bad health and real morbid obesity and good on anyone who takes drastic action before they get there. Its not intended to rub anyone else's nose in it, and its most definitely not that whining your skinny size 8 friend indulges in because she thinks she looks fat in a bikini!

[BandLady 0]

Oh Yeah, I'v had that experience. My BMI is 36, I am 5'6" and I weight 224 lbs. The select few I've opted to tell always say "you're not big enough to have surgery". I decided to keep my upcoming surgery date low, low key.

Hi, I was just wondering what your experiences have been as far as when you told people about your upcoming surgery. I feel like if my BMI was in the 50's it would be easier for people to understand and or be supportive of wanting to get this done.

My BMI is 39 as of today and I finally had the nerve to tell my best friend and she was totally not supportive and basically blew it off and said, "just join weight watchers, your not that big to have to go get a surgery". A friend at work told me basically the same thing too, "oh you aren't fat ha ha ha your so funny". But to me I am fat.......... obese......... whatever you want to call it. Just to name a few things, my knees and back hurt, I have no energy and this is so embarrassing to say but if I sit on the toilet to long my legs and feet fall asleep and I know that's from all this weight (242) I am carrying around. If weight watchers would work I would do it but obviously it dosen't nor does/did all the other 20 diets I have tried . I just feel like I have to really explain myself like when I was telling her I kept saying but I'm so unhealthy, if I wasn't unhealthy then I wouldn't do this, my Dr. thinks it's for the best, etc......

UGH, why can't people think this is great, be supportive, and be happy for me?

[ronwifey 0]

Bandlady~ Well I'm in the same boat as you. I'm not telling anyone else! And my husband tonight decided to tell me that he does not agree with my decision to have wls because he said I should try other things like "not snacking so much and exercise" :eek: UGHHHHHH! Before he was fine but now he isn't. He also told me that he dosen't think I'll be able to do the post-op diet and I'll be misreable therefore make everyone else miserable in the house. UGHH!!! I am so mad I can't even sleep now. I was eating ice cream tonight and that's how all this started. He never ever said anything about what I eat or my weight but now I want to do something about it...now he he says someting after 10 years! Now I am second guessing my decision!

[Randi 0]

RonWifey,

I'm a low BMI bandster located/banded in S.A., TX. I only told a handful of people I was getting banded, but no one I worked with directly. When I told the ones closest to me, I told them in a way that let them know my mind was already made up and I could not be swayed.

I had done all the necessary research on the procedure up to and including learning about the low-profile port option, finding a surgery group that held the "Center of Excellence" designation, and someone I trusted and felt comfortable with within that group to do my surgery.

I remember reading surgeons bios, attending five seminars to personally meet and get a feel for the right surgeon for me.

I don't regret the having the surgery and I've never looked back.

[Startingover! 0]

Hi, I'm new to the board and have a BMI of just over 35. I have my 1st appointment on 1/30 and am extremely nervous. What has been everyone's experience w/a BMI this low and getting approved for this surgery? I'm so afraid that they (the doctor/insurance) will not approve it because they don't think I weigh enough.

thanks!

[BensonRN 0]

I was banded on the 22 of this month. My first nurse back to the room preop says you dont look big enough for this surgery. The next day another staff member said it. The next day I went to xray and the tech says to me we were talking and you dont look big enough to have this done. Finally instaed of ignoring it, I blurt out my weight and say I am 100 lbs over weight. No one said anything else. I wanted to say whats it of your business.

[GmaDebi 0]

Girlygirlz, The reason's my DH gives me for not supporting me are that 1) I may no longer be attractive to him, or him to me (even though I've gained 110 lbs-at my highest-but I've lost 19 since I started this journey- since we got married) 2) No one should ever undergo elective surgery if they don't really NEED it 3) How can anyone handle having a foreign object implanted in them forever? 4) What if I die on the operating table? 5) Fat people are happy people. 6) We eat out a lot and he thinks I won't "enjoy" doing that anymore. 7) He would never do it. 8) With gas being so expensive,I shouldn't be driving an hour away for follow-up. Now that I write them all down, I see there's a lot of reasons... If he would just support me, I'd feel so much better about this. Part of me is rebellious enough to go through with it just to spite him, but I really do want to be successful with it, and in a perfect world all would go fine and none of these fears would happen. But it isn't a perfect world and any of them might, and can I deal with them when/if they do, and I don't have his support?