Why Am I Freaking Out ? Ideas to Help me?

lepez · January 22, 2008

Hi. I am an RN and of course I am obsessive about looking into surgery before I will go under the knife. Hence, I have been researching the lap band for almost a year. I was scheduled to have it done in September but in late August I was informed that a new gastric band will be released in the U.S. sometime in 2008 and will have no port and will be adjusted telemetrically by a remote control device outside the body. I cancelled my surgery to wait for this band since the thought of having a port infection or complication freaks me out.

However, the thought of the gastric band becoming a reality is making me almost have panic attacks. Yes, I am slightly afraid of the surgery itself but I am mostly afraid of the life change. I am not that worried about the thought of not being able to eat certain foods. When I really start to think about it, the thought of looking great kind of scares me and I can't figure out why. I can't figure out why I feel so much more normal and safe in a fat suit. I need to get to the bottom of this so that I can truly work on my root issues or I will not be successful.

Did anyone feel this way? Could you please share your thoughts on what scared you about the surgery , the life changes, compliments, and unexpected feelings that would happen after surgery:ballchain:. I would love to hear how you overcame the mental challenges that arose from having the surgery, losing weight, and how you handle stress now. Maybe if I hear enough stories then I will have an "Ah Ha" moment and be able to really identify what is at the root of my insecurities.

Thank You So Much in Advance,

Cheryl

dab · January 22, 2008

Cheryl;

Not trying to sound harsh, but you need to ask yourself what the fear really is.

Sounds like you are almost coming up with excuses why not have the procedure. If that is the case, you probably shouldn't have it done.

Is your fear failure? That is something I had to get over before I could move on with it. Hell, I have failed forty times at diets where I would lose 20 to 100+ pounds and then gain the weight back plus another 20.

I finally had to ask myself if I wanted to be able to have a better chance to watch my kids grow up and hold my grandkids. I did it and don't have any regrets. I have done extremely well, but have a LONG ways to go still. Fear of failure is still in the back of mind everyday....and I think that is driving me to succeed somewhat.

You need to ask yourself what is making you reluctant....only you can answer that.

Could be off base, but hope that helps.

dab

wombat712 · January 22, 2008

Success is scary. We want it; we work for it; but when it starts happening we start self-sabatoging. I read a book about the lies women tell themselves - sorry I don't have the exact name. I've tried searching for it and can't find it.

Anyway, it goes into the things we do when we start experiencing success like if you are promoted at work or praised for something, you generally will start to slack a bit afterwards. Doing things that were opposite of what got you that promotion kind of thing. Not enough to demote you but it's a mental game. I recognize when I do it now. (like now - on the internet when I should be working)lol

That new band does sound awesome though!!!

wombat

Chrisann · January 22, 2008

i was going along merrily, saying I was a healthy fat person, as I am, low blood pressure, excellent cholesterol etc. So the band was never a thought I took seriously.

Then I started getting pains, tore a ligament in my foot, pinched a nerve in my neck. The doctor didn't attribute it outright to my weight, but to my physical condition. (The same thing to me.) He then suggested the lap band again.

This time I went with it and my mind frame after I decided to have it done was that if I drop the weight, these injuries won't occur again. I am down 25 pounds, and don't feel that pain in my neck to start with.

I think if you attribute the weight loss to something you can grasp in your life, it becomes much easier to accept. To merely lose weight, after all the failures I had in the past wasn't an option. But when I attributed my weight to the injuries. That was it.

annieM · January 23, 2008

You are only 37. Maybe you haven't hit the mid like metabolism slow down yet. At your age I didn't feel the aches and pains of being overweight. IT was just a cosmetic thing that I hated. After hitting 40 I gained 40 more lbs and the pain, high BP, high chloresterol etc started with a bang. Do this for yourself now. Think of it as getting your health back. You are anything but safe in a fat suit. There are plenty of normal weight people who go about their daily lives without a thought of what others are thinking of them. They can be as invisible as they feel comfortable being with the added advantage of being in good health.

Getting the lap band requires hard work and patience. The weight doesn't fall off on its own. You don't wake up one day shocked to be 100 lbs lighter. The process is slow and allows you plenty of time to adjust to your new weight and mind set.

Don't freak out about the thought of being thin and visible. Freak out about being unhealthy, in pain and miserable.

Good luck on whatever journey you choose. I hope you make a healthful choice!

lepez · January 28, 2008

Thank You all for your help.

shortgal · January 28, 2008

I'm willing to bet most of the people with the band have had many of the same thoughts you're having, I did, too. Then I just got sick and tired of trying to lose the weight without a tool that modern medicine could provide.

Do I still fear failure? Heck, yeah! But at two months post op, I am a few pounds away from weighing the least I have in over 20 years. The first step is getting this weight off and then the second step will be keeping it off.

At least I have real hope now since being banded. If I follow the band rules of eating/drinking etc. I hope to be a success story.

By the time you wait for the next "best new band" to come out, they will be working on the next new best one, so when does that thinking ever end?

For me, the most frustrating part of the process so far, are the fills and waiting until I get restriction. In spite of not having good restriction, the scale has slowly but consistently gone down. I am 100 % positive that would not happen without the band, because I tried that for so many years.

Good Luck with your decision.

P.S. How do you know the "new" band will be better than the current ones, since it will be new and not have a track record yet. Life is a carefully calculated risk!

vkodaniel · January 28, 2008

I know what you are feeling. It was almost a full year between my first inquiry into lap band and my surgery date. I was scared of the surgery, I was scared of giving up my best friend (food), and yes I was scared of the change that would occur physically and emotionally. I was worried about the later because I know a woman who has had the lap band surgery and she has lost so much weight. I mean she has totally changed her body image, but that was not all that changed, her whole personality has changed too. She is getting attention from men that she never got before and she has started cheating on her husband as a result. I was afraid that I could change in a negative way too. But, I decided to face my fear and was banded Jan. 16. The surgery went fine, I am happy to report, and I am healing well.

Right now at this stage food is does not seem to be as important to me as it used to be. It could be a result of the Dr.'s two week pre-op diet followed by a week of Clear Liquids, or perhaps it is the extra support I am getting from my family and friends. Whatever it is, I am happy I went ahead and had the surgery. Take your time and don't rush your self, when the time is right you will be ready.

OH Juli · January 28, 2008

Get thee to a mental health professional.

I did and it's been a fantastic help. It's helped me figure out food's role in my life and helped me stop making excuses about how I lived. Weight loss is about behavior and cognative thinking. The band helps with the physical part but the rest is in your head.

You've hit upon that the head piece needs a little tinkering. Perhaps it's time.

jelbel · January 28, 2008

I also had panic attacks before the surgery and one before the first fill. It is something I can't control. After the fill I'm fine and after the operation I was ok. My panic attacks are also hormonal, I get them during ovulation time.

It is normal, you will have a panic attack before the operation, but it is sooo worth it.