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At wits end...please help me find a coping mechanism...



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Rain

My DD is 6.

It's a chore at times but the best job in the world really!

What you might want to do is take a "time out" for yourself after you yell/threaten/say something mean. My daughter gets put in a big chair with no TV and no toys. I go and put myself in the same chair and tell her that Momma needs a time out. It's not only a way to apologize, it also teaches there are consiquences and most importantly you tell them you need to be left alone for five minutes (or whatever is your standard...Zoe gets a minute for every year of life. Ahhhh what I'd give for 39 minutes!)

It won't keep you from exploding but it might give you a guilt free way to deal with the aftermath.

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Rain

My DD is 6.

It's a chore at times but the best job in the world really!

What you might want to do is take a "time out" for yourself after you yell/threaten/say something mean. My daughter gets put in a big chair with no TV and no toys. I go and put myself in the same chair and tell her that Momma needs a time out. It's not only a way to apologize, it also teaches there are consiquences and most importantly you tell them you need to be left alone for five minutes (or whatever is your standard...Zoe gets a minute for every year of life. Ahhhh what I'd give for 39 minutes!)

It won't keep you from exploding but it might give you a guilt free way to deal with the aftermath.

That, is a really, really good idea. I am going to have to remember that!

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I remember the days! My son was 10 months old when my twin daughters were born and I was a sahm with them in a new city. I agree with the saying about short years and looong days!

One thing that helped me (it may sound a bit psycho) was to pretend that someone was watching me and giving me encouragement or silent approval when I was alone with my babies. None of them could talk at first, they were more like triplets, and I knew that I was their only way to learn to speak; so having the thought of my dear departed father in law sitting in the corner smiling helped a lot. On other days I was showing Dr Spock a thing or two. Think of it as an attitude shift toward having more fun with them and enjoying where they are as little people.

Hang in there!

PS Don't go to the grocery store when they are tired and hungry...

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