How to get my Brain to go with the weight loss

[tmarie 0]

Hello All: I have been banded since Nov 24th 2004 - When I was looking for a weight loss surgery I read about the band and immediately knew this was for me. I orignally was to go Mexico but with the concerns of my family decided to stay close to home. So here I sit 3 months out...I have lost weight but I'm so afraid to weigh myself or even think I'm losing weight. I have had so much disappointment and frustrations with diets before the band that I'm afriad to think positive only to be disappointed again. When people ask me how much I lost I just make up a number or just say I don't kn ow. I'm even afraid to call my doc for an follow up appointment in fear the scale will increase instead of decrease..and get a lettuce on what I'm doing wrong. I've started exercising and I eat less then 800 cal. and 70 grams fo Protein a day. What If I fail:nervous what will I do, how will I feel? :ermm I so much what to be a success but afraid it won't happen. I can not picture in my mind me at a normal weight I only see FAT...... Am I being silling?

[New Hope 37]

You're losing weight, girl! You've said you were down 2 pant sizes! How about joining the weekly scale challenge here? You have the opposite problem from most of us. We can't stay off the scale, so that challenge has been a great way to break a bad habit. How about coming here and "talking" w/us more often? No matter what's bothering you, you will find someone here w/the same problem. You'll also get lots of encouragement and ideas.

[NancySmiles 2]

This post is just minutes after yours....must be fate!

I had the same problem when I found out my surgery date. I had already made up my mind that the only person at work I would tell would be my boss....I didn't want her to think it was some kind of debilitating or heart surgery.

Also, for the same reason as yours.....well-wishers who unintentionally sabotage our weight loss...and lead us to the path of gaining it back again. I could lose weight.....but keeping it off was impossible...because people would say how nice I looked and how thin I looked...so I figured...if I looked that good I didn't need to follow the diet anymore! End of success!

So I know exactly what you are going through. I had my surgery on 9/24/04 and just about a month ago started telling others about my surgery. I have lost almost 70 pounds and now that people are asking "how'd you do it"? I have to be honest and tell them...have to give credit to the band and me! I tell them exactly how I did it....with the help of this great tool.

We all have been told over and over that the band is NOT a "magic cure"....that it will still take OUR hard work and a definite change of lifestyle. It's a "TOOL" to help us lose the weight and keep it off.

You need to face the scale, for yourself. You need the accountability, and the Dietitian is there to help you if you have a problem with your diet. The surgery, I feel, is the easiest part of the whole process!!! It's the follow up and support that is VERY IMPORTANT afterwards!!! This is what helps you get used to your new lifestyle.

You can only tell people about the surgery when you have come to terms with your success first. I was not ready.....not right away....but now I am a speaker at the Lap Band Seminars at our hospital and I am not afraid or ashamed or embarrassed at all to tell everyone that I lost the weight with the help of the lap band. There are always those who will say, why couldn't you do it on your own? But they don't understand, because they have never tried.

Having the surgery is the BEST thing I have done for myself in my life!!! There is nobody that can convince me otherwise.

It will take time; but you will see the changes in yourself, in the mirror, and gain your self-confidence back. It didn't take us overnight to gain the weight....so it won't happen overnight that we get used to the wonderful changes in us!!! I've been fat all my life....so it will take a while for me to think of myself as otherwise!

I can bet in a few months you will be your surgeon's best advocate!!!

Bring out that scale....or go to the doctor's office to get weighed....just only do it once a week or every two weeks, so you are not checking all the time.

Hang in there....you'll start to recognize that the person you are seeing in the mirror is YOU....inside and out!!!

Take care,

Nancy*

huggggggggsssss

[SHAZ 0]

Nancy, that was a very encouraging post. I can benifit from it too. Thanks so much!!!

[lapbander081004 7]

Nancy,

You hit the nail on the head.(are you a carpenter???)

The scale used to be my enimy and then after the band as fast as I was losing it became my constant companion. Now its like a distant friend cause I only get on it on Mondays

Good luck and remember the band only works if you want it too. The diets we used to fail at had a reason for the failure. We never felt full. Now the band will allow you to feel full you just have to make the right choices of what you put in the stomach.

[NancySmiles 2]

Do you know what my husband used to say every time I would start another diet...??? His exact words were "So how long is it going to take you to gain it back this time???" Talk about not even wanting to try at all!!! After several disappointments....I would keep it to myself whenever I started back at WW or any other diet....But that really defeats us too...because then the only support we have is ourselves and the members at the meetings....but better that we have the support of people who are for us rather than against us. I used to think maybe he was using reverse psychology on me so that I would try my darnedest to prove him wrong....but he wasn't...he just had no clue what a diet was all about or what it was like to be overweight!!! He has been 170 pounds - 5'10" since the day we got married, his family is all thin, mine is all heavy, etc etc.....so i had to look elsewhere for support....or within myself!

You probably ask what makes this time different? Well, it's cuz I have this tool....and I know my chances of keeping the weight off are excellent...and I am determined!!! One of the main reasons why I had the surgery in the first place was because about 1.5 yrs ago I had a stroke....8/14/03, the day of the big BLACKOUT. I walked up 2 flights of stairs and was short of breath, and I could not straighten out my left side. I knew EXACTLY what was happening as I had worked in hospitals and in the ER for several years and knew the signs. Luckily the symptoms lasted only a minute or two. But it made a very big impact in what I would need to do. I needed to lose weight so that it would never happen again....it scared the living daylights out of me....!!! scared me too that I might never see my kids again, or my grandkids (when I have them), or my husband and the rest of my family. I wasn't even 50 yet!!! That was the last straw!!! So begun my Quest to have weight loss surgery, and I am so glad I decided on the lap band! ANd you must follow up! Your doctor is the one who can help you get through this. The office staff is there for you...for your support....they are your friends....and understand what you are going through.

Anyway....I don't mean to rattle on...but you have to remember WHY you had the surgery in the first place. You have to think of what was/is important to you. In the end, it was YOUR decision.....it was what YOU had to do to get yoru life back!!! And don;t let anyone make you feel the least bit bad or guilty for doing that! I am not sure how old you are....but I am so glad you didn't wait till you were almost 50 to do something about it!

YOU are finally in control of food....it's not in control of you anymore!!!

Good Luck!!!

N*

[claraluz 2]

I certainly understand your fear of failure. We've all experienced so much of it. In time I think you'll learn to trust your band. It will work for you.

The thing that concerns me is that you say you eat less than 800 calories a day. That's not enough. That's a starvation diet and it will end up harming your metabolism and making it harder for you to lose weight and keep it off. It might be a good idea for you to consult with a dietician.

Take care of yourself and try to relax. Having the band as a tool really does make all the difference.

Nancy

[Zoe 6]

Hi Tmarie -- I think most of us here can relate to your fear of failure. We're all veteran dieters, and veterans too of all the frustration that comes with losing then gaining weight. So there's no need to feel silly around here.

I bet your brain has already given you a signal or two about your body. Do your clothes fit a little differently than three months ago? Is your face thinner? Has anyone told you that you look slimmer? I thought so. But you just can't believe it's really happening.

Ask yourself what you were expecting when you got your band. For a lot of us, the band was a final desperate attempt to get control of our bodies after long histories of disappointment. A voice inside us kept saying, "Look, this really works. And you can do it." So we did whatever it took -- challenges to our insurance companies, booking a flight to Mexico, convincing a husband, wife, or partner that we needed the surgery, not to mention ourselves. We have invested a lot of hope in a little piece of silicone. You are not alone.

How about jumping on the scale Monday just for the hell of it? At least then you will have some information about yourself: just a number, but one way to tell what your progress has been so far. Give yourself some time for the number to sink in. And whether it's higher, lower, or about the same as you expected, you'll have one tiny fact to help convince your brain that something is happening.

Good luck -- let us know how you are doing.

[the best me 6]

Great feedback everyone, I hope you'll take Zoe's challenge to hit the scale Monday. Nancy/Claraluz I am so glad you said that about the 800 calories...I agree totally. While it may be easy to do for a day or two, with or without the band, it will mess up your metabolism...I agree about seeing a dietician/nutritionist.

[Alexandra 55]

Tmarie, we all definitely can relate to your feelings. It is really kind of scary to take this big step, with all the previous failures to compare it to. But it is TOTALLY DIFFERENT this time! The thing that concerns me about your post -- other than the limited calories, which I agree are not enough for you -- is that you won't be back to the doctor for fills! The band can't work for you if you don't get it adjusted, and if you never go back to the doctor then you might indeed not lose weight.

It's time to think back to when you decided to get banded in the first place. This little band of silicone can't do it ALL by itself, it needs you to get on board. Please come back and talk out your fears here. The great thing is that the band isn't going away and when you're ready, it will be there waiting.

Oh, and by the way, what does "get a lettuce on" mean? I've never heard that before!

[the best me 6]

Did you mean "lecture?" You get lettuce on the brain when you are watching your weight, I think it might have snuck in to the post...lettuce does that. Just gets everywhere. Bad lettuce.

[Iluvharleys 15]

I can't say much more than what everone else has already said.

I do think it is important for you to stay in contact with your doctor, this band does work if you get your fills and follow the rules. If you aren't properly filled right, then the band can't do the job it is meant to do. You reall do need more than 800 calories too.

Remember that this is a lifetime journey. You can't do it all in just a few months. Do you really want to only eat 800 calories the rest of your life?

Please set up an appointment with your doctor and see how you are doing, and by all means get on that scale and see for yourself. There's no better feeling than watching that number go down. You will succeed, please don't be afraid. Come here and visit, ask questions, or just read the posts.

Good Luck, and let us know how everthing goes.