Forum suggestion S.O.s and/or Spouse section

[marmmalou 0]

My husband had the Lap Band surgery a year ago last November. He is non-compliant and after initially losing, has regained most of the weight. I have tried my best to be very supportive of him through out every aspect of the process, but evidently, I did all the wrong things to support him.I feel terrible. I would love to hear from both Banders and spouses what is actually most helpful and useful. Most importantly, I would really appreciate any suggesstions on what I can do at this point to encourage him to be compliant. Thanks, Marmmalou:unsure:

[Doddie63 6]

marmalou: To answer you we would have to have more information. When you say you try to help. Are you always on his case or do you quietly support him no matter what he does.

My husband is an enabler. That is he loves to give me things I like, particularly food. After the band, he quietly accepts anything I do, including if I gain weight.

My point to you bluntly "is get off his case and quit trying to actively change him". You married the man not the size of the body. Let him decide what he wishes to eat and drink. He knows what the guidelines are and if you put out healthy food and drink if HE WANTS to, he will choose them. If not, that is his decision not yours. Support and love him no matter what is decisions are. Someday he will come to gripps with his problem, but he is the only one to do it. I hope I haven't been too brutal, but there is no simple answer. He is an adult and must answer to himself. Doddie

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I suggest you put this question on the main page under lap band

support. You will probably get more responses and the question

really doesn't apply to Lab Band Forum suggestions.