Do you think there is discrimination against obese people?

[PennyLane 0]

I know it's an old thread but I had to add this.....

Turns out there's at least one (but if you read the comments, probably several) bridal salons out there who "don't dress fat brides" (their words) as a matter of store policy. Apparently having a larger woman wearing a dress she bought at your store gives you a bad image or something....

Vendornistas Jan-Jun 2005 Archive

[cruisemissile 0]

sorry to hear about your mum. my mother in law was given a hard time getting a kidney transplant because of her size. I can understand it, because its very invasive surgery and it makes it very risky. she was ordered to lose weight and didn't.

I am sure there is discrimination. people make assumptions that you're "weak", impulsive, stupid, which affects employment, etc..we should address this.

we also have an obesity epidemic in this country, which should also be addressed.

my health insurer would not cover gastric surgery for years, maintaining it was "elective" (unnecessary), until this year. that shows that their view was "its your choice to eat less and lose weight, we shouldn't have to pay for expensive surgery".

I have been fat nearly all my life and the one thing that annoys me most (apart from my size 20 (UK) clothes) are the people who discriminate against 'big' people.

I read in a newspaper article a while back that 'big' people are far less likely to get a job if they are up against a 'normal sized' person. ETC ETC....

I have seen first hand that when you are big you are treated differently in society, in my opinion we are sometimes seen as being intelectually slower than 'normal sized' people or sometimes we can be seen as being lazy etc..

I believe that society should not be allowed to discriminate against obese people just as you are not allowed to be racist or discrimitive against people's age, sex etc..

Over here in the UK there are some NHS hospitals that will not give some treatments to obese people because they are obese!! It is disgusting. My mother needed an urgent scan and she was in an NHS hospital for 1 week. The nurse asked my Mum how much she weighed, soon after this each day the scan was cancelled (without explanation) I believe it was because my mother was classed as obese. Also people who need hip operations etc.. are being turned down because they are classed as obese (this particular lady was 14 pounds overweight)

We need to stop this discrimination now, obesity is a illness that is affecting more and more of us, we should all live in harmony no matter what we are like on the outside.

Lauren xx

[chicamam1 1]

Yes I do think it happens for sure in our society. I dont feel I have ever specifically fell victim to it unless it happened without me knowing. I have such a strong personality anyways lol. Of course to be perfectly honest right now it feels like i live in my own little world, go to work, go home, I dont have many friends ( not for the lack of trying). Someone said something on here saying how they couldnt wait for their husband not to have to be everything to them. ( sorry if i misquoted) but boy that really made me look at my relationship with him. right now he is. I am now realizing im not as outgoing as i think i am, and that can of course make people react differently to me. One thing that irritates me deeply is this. I know alot of thin people who think if obese people would just watch what they eat, they would become skinny. Let me tell you, I have observed alot of peoples eating habits, skinny or not, and alot of it is just crapola we are putting into our bodies, fastfood, fried foods, pop. How lucky so many people who are thin are to be able to eat like crap, and not gain weight. wonder if it has anything to do with genetic disposition? Yet they dont try to put the shoe on the other foot and see this.. Like my father in law who always is commenting on my weight in negative ways and looking at me like omg look at her she is so huge lol. I brush it off, however he is not a skinny man and eats like crap too blah lol.

[AirKuhl 1]

I really struggle with how I feel about all this. I don't think I've ever been directly discriminated against in any meaningful way. But then again, I'm a guy and I topped out at "only" 260, so I have probably been pretty lucky and I can see how a female or fatter person could be.

I realize it's not fair, but the world is not fair. It's not discrimination if it is something directly attributable to your size. It IS discrimination if it's not. So for example, I think it's discrimination to not give an IT job based on size. But it is not discrimination to not give a job as, say, a Hooter's waitress to a very overweight person.

I also think it might be fair to maybe charge a heavy person more for a plane ticket, since fuel burn rates are directly proportional to weight. Most airlines already have weight restrictions on baggage with a surcharge for going over. 99% of people don't need larger airplane seats and less seats means higher ticket prices for everyone, that's not fair either. It's not like airplane companies are charging us recklessly, many are in debt or bankrupt.

The most important thing is that anyone reading this forum is doing something about their excess weight, which is the best solution to this whole mess!

[gone 4 ever 6]

I have been told "you have all the qualifacations we are looking for, but because of your weight I won't hire you. You might have a heart attack." I was 25 yrs old at that time and 225. No one was around so I couldn't sue. I was so livid! It was managing a pizza Hut! I have lost out on good jobs because of my weight. 1 job a freind and I both applied for. I had more experience than she did, but she got hired. So I know it happens. Stand at a counter and have to say excuse me to get help. My EX fiance breaking up with me because his family didn't approve of a FAT woman. Thats ok his loss not mine! I could go on but I won't.

[blackcherry2002 5]

I've been called fat since I was 145(in 6th grade at 5'1" tho) all the way up until my highest at 275. I had friends that told me this surgery was stupid and lazy, that I should do it with diet and exercise...DUR! gee I never thought of that...and this is coming from a person that is comparing her needed weight loss of 10 lbs to my 130 lbs. Also I had one person recently ask how my weight loss was going...I said fine, and she replied "I could never do that surgery...I think I'd just rather go run another 10 miles."

My mom used to make comments every time I walked into the kitchen. She once said she'd rather have me be anorexic than fat, this coming from an overweight woman herself who has an anorexic and bulimic sister who has been struggling for 30 year.

When I go to restaurants, they always assume my b/f and I are just friends...since he's normal sized and good looking. I have lost all my friends since I've gained weight. My teacher last year (during my worst months of weight gain) told me the biggest problem I had in writing my english papers was because I was lazy. The farthest from the truth, I was in multiple clubs, got damn-near straight A's, played violin for 9 years, took care of the house and bills from age 13-16 while my mom was on her deathbed, I helped take care of my nephew while my brother was in basic training and his ex-wife tried killing herself by jumping off a bridge, and I also was having a hard time with depression/bipolar-like mood swings and panic attacks. But I was lazy.

I've been ignored everywhere. I once talked to a guy I met at a party, we were texting and he says "Oh yeah, you're the fat girl."

I had a guy friend not go out with me, slept with me, but wouldn't go out with me unless I grew my hair out and lost weight.

Now since I've lost 25 lbs, and my hair is longer, he's suddenly started talking to me again.

It's hurtful to experience this....I'm only 19 for god's sake and I feel like I'm missing out on so much...I mean, should I really have to worry that when my b/f and I are..."together" and he closes his eyes, should I have to worry that he's digusted by me and wishing he was with someone else...

I have to wonder if I'm insecure because I'm fat or insecure because I'm fat and I'm ashamed of that only because people discriminate me.

Sorry this is so long, but I could go on for days, tons of stories...

[aubrie 6]

Try going into a Victoria's Secret and telling them you want to get fitted for a nice bra. I sat in the dressing room for almost an hour and nobody helped me. I asked 3 or 4 different times. New people would come in all young, and trim and perky and the clerks bent over backwards to help them. I went home in tears. Even if I get down to 120 pounds and have PS I will NEVER set foot in that store again.

[TheWatcher 1]

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i second that as a matter of fact if anyone hasn't please tell me where you live cause that's the most tolerant place on erf and no i didnt mispell earth i meant erf!!:smile2:

[Fanny Adams 7]

i second that as a matter of fact if anyone hasn't please tell me where you live cause that's the most tolerant place on erf and no i didnt mispell earth i meant erf!!:tongue2:

It's like you said in the Sexist thread, Watcher. Discrimination is more than just mean comments about your weight, just as sexism is more than making a comment about a woman's appearance.

To be honest, I can't really think of a time when I've even heard a mean comment about my weight, let alone could really attribute discriminatory treatment to it. Then again, I'm 46 and didnt' start gaining weight until after I was 30, so I didn't get the mean treatment in school that some people suffered. I'm sure that happens here as much as anywhere. I have heard people being mean to others with weight problems, so I know we're not saints about it.

The closest I've come to actual discrimination in terms of work or service, has been when I've worked on minesites. I was asked once at an interview if I felt I could handle the physical demands of the job - long hours, extremely hot climate, often a lot of walking/climbing many flights of stairs in the heat. I felt it was a "fair enough" question, as the conditions on site can be tough and some of the physical demands were right at my outer limit of ability, at my heaviest. I answered the question honestly (saying I know it would be tough at times, but I would be able to cope) and got the job anyway. At my latest site, I had problems with store-issued uniforms, as they didn't carry my size pants in their usual stock. It was embarrassing to have to give the store guys my size so they could order them in, but it was done, no other questions asked.

I've never felt that "I'm invisible" feeling in a shop, then again, I've never really looked for it and I don't like being accosted by store attendants anyway, so wouldn't have noticed their attention being missing. I really can't say that I've witnessed a lot of true discrimination either. One of the few jobs that I can imagine it occurring in, would be women applying for jobs as a front office receptionist. A lot of male-run companies want eye candy on the front desk, but I've seen a lot of heavy women in the same companies in the back offices.

I live in Perth, Western Australia, in case you were wondering.

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

Sadly, discrimination occurs everyday. Everyone is judged by appearance though. If you walk down the street and see someone that is different than you what do you think? For example a homeless person? Someone that is too thin? a goth? Black, white, asian, hispanic...in my part of the country people are still steotyped based on apperance. I'm guilty of it myself. I see someone who is goth and I think scary. Homeless - I wonder what went wrong in their lives and if I gave them money would they just blow it on booze. Too thin - are they sick or have a disease? I don't consider myself a bad person, but I don't feel too good about myself when I jump to conclusions about others either. It does happen though.

I think at times though I interpret people's actions based on how I feel about myself. Perhaps I had a negative vibe about me (and I often did). I agree a lot with what Fanny said about sexism as well as discrimination, but also think is often open to interpretation. What I may view as discrimination may be completely different than someone else. Upbringing, beliefs and culture play a big role in that.

I have a couple of co-workers that used to treat me like dirt before I started losing weight. Someone that has never had a weight problem (like these individuals) assume if you are obese you are lazy ergo stupid. I've been flat out ignored and treated quite rudely, nothing I want to get into detail about, something I'll never forget. Now that I've lost some weight I'm beginning to be treated differently. It's like I am "in the club" now...it's hard to wrap my brain around at times.

[Fanny Adams 7]

Everyone does make pre-judgements about everyone and everything else. We can't help it. It is the way our brains work, the way that we comprehend and categorise things in order to be able to think at all. Initial prejudgements can also be modifid by conscious thought or changed by subsequent knowledge. I don't consider it "discrimination" unless it causes someone to act detrimentally because of that pre-judgement, for example, to not give a job to the most qualified or refuse to serve someone in a shop because of their "difference", whatever that is.

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

True Fanny - you took what I wrote at 5:00 am (normally obscenely early for me) and said what I meant to say. I agree.

[neverB4 2]

It is true, there's discrimination for everyone of every type. It's nice to have a place here to come and share our thoughts and experiences! Since I grew into obesity, I also grew into how other people treated and thought of me...It was not until recently I have come to realize it. And only because of my therapist and LB support grp warning me about it before I had the surgery. I now can see things in the past that were done to me because of my weight. I certainly notice now, how people treat me at present because of me being under 200lbs! Am I mad? No, just saddened and more apt to also realize who is true to their heart, who are sincere of their feelings and actions towards me. Because I tell you what again...and I'm sure you all agree with me, having been there before and now after, I can pick up on "phonies" real quick now! It just hurts when you find they were once your "true felt friends".

[neverB4 2]

Blackcherry, I appreciate your willingness to share all you did. You're a beautiful person, not only physically, but emotionally too! When I started reading all you have gone thru, I had to stop and look again at your age (before you pointed it out!) I just want to say "KUDOS" to you girl!!! And how excited I am for your journey here. You are truely going to succeed in your life! At my age, I haven't seen or been around too many 19yr olds who have the values of life, nor the maturity to make decisions like you have. It's just exciting for me right now to imagine what a successor you will be at age 40, and with where you are right now, even at age 25! God bless, you're precious!!

[stevegoad 32]

Yeah, of course I have.

But it happens to everyone at times.

I personally lost a career due to weight discrimination (a career that, 10 years later, I am paying on the 70,000 in student loans for the master's degree to get into). I was out of work for nearly a year after that.

Of course, I have faced other, less important, discrimination, too. Shoe salesmen who lectured me on who bad weight is on your feet, strangers coming up in an airport and saying "Big Man, did you pay for 2 seats" etc.

You know what. In the end, it doesn't matter. Everyone faces some discrimination.

African-Americans faced it for centuries, and in many areas, still do.

Women still face discrimination, even with the millions of "cracks in the glass ceiling" made this year.

People who are homeless are discriminated against everywhere, and no one cares because they don't have money and they smell bad.

People with mental retardation face it everyday, and it is completely acceptable because people think they don't know they are being discriminated against.

There is discrimination in every walk of life. We can't do much to stop people who are idiots against us. We can't only try our best not to be idiots with them.

Maybe if we show the world that fat people are not lazy, smelly, weak-minded, weak-willed people, some will see. Some never will, but then again, that's their problem.