Do you think there is discrimination against obese people?

[neveragain 9]

But that is the point, We should be working to get the plane seats larger, not criticizing the person in the large body.

While I agree that that wouldn't hurt, my point was that life is just one more thing that, as obese people, we have to deal with and that we should just learn how to manage. If we don't know how to get over things that bother us, we're going to fail in life. That also means all of the things that question our self-confidence and/or in social interaction.

PLEASE don't take this as I'm poking or prodding at you. In no way, shape or form am I trying to do that.

[StLouisGal 1]

While I agree that that wouldn't hurt, my point was that life is just one more thing that, as obese people, we have to deal with and that we should just learn how to manage. If we don't know how to get over things that bother us, we're going to fail in life. That also means all of the things that question our self-confidence and/or in social interaction.

PLEASE don't take this as I'm poking or prodding at you. In no way, shape or form am I trying to do that.

I understand your point and I agree with it but as with every disease (and obesity should be veiwed as a disease just like alcoholism, diabetes, depression, etc.) it takes our generation working to make the world a better place for the next generation. Treatment is easier for me to get than it was for my grandmother. I want it to be even more easily obtained for my children and grandchildren. Yes, we have to learn to function in our world and not allow people who discriminate, to harm our self-esteeme, There are no easy answers but discussions like we are having will help to open doors and start the dialogue that will lead to change. I should not have had to stand at the back of the auditorium at my daughters college orientation because the seats were too small for my hips to fit in. I did it with a smile on my face because it was more important for me to be there with her than to be comfortable. I decided a long time ago that I was going to live life and love it and not allow other people to steal my joy. I am looking forward to being smaller so that i will be healthier and able to do the things we want to do in our retirement but I would also like to help make the world a better place before I leave it.

[ivyrose325 0]

Last year when I had first started my graduate studies, no one would speak to me before or after class, ever (small classes too). When I tried to start a conversation with someone they gave me the rudest quickest response possible. Now people aren’t overly inclined to have conversations with strangers in NY, but literally I was the only one being isolated.

One day the professor sent around a list where you could leave your AIM screen name in case you needed to catch up on some info. I left mine since I am always online and a few weeks later a woman im’d me for the assignment. I helped her out and was my nice outgoing self w/ her she was great with me online, at the end of our conversation I told her my IRL name and then it clicked w/ her who I was. Needless to say she never acknowledged me in class or im’d me gain. :smile2:

I have a lifetime of examples like that ( with the exception of the 3 years that I was thin).

[Jennie1976 1]

I can relate to that. In my first teaching job, the principal told me I had to dress differently because certain items didn't look professional on me and they do on others. I ALWAYS dress professionally (nylons, heels, the whole nine yards), but am still hurt to this day about that comment and others she made.

[restrict2008 0]

Lisa that is horrible and sad- When I have lost weight in the past I know I have carried bitterness for being treated badly. (fat girl in thin body) I hope this doesnt happen to you.. I think I will forever carry some resentment by how cruel and superficial people can be. *hugs*

[jenncore 0]

Hi, I have been thin and I have been very heavy. People definitely treat you differantly when you are overweight. This past summer my husband joined a Real Estate agency and I signed on as his assistant. We were encouraged to have business cards made with both of our photos on it because we were considered a team. I'll admit, I wasn't crazy about having a headshot done but I did it anyway. The photographer never acknowledged me. He spoke direrectly to my husband the whole time. When he was positioning us for our photo he was getting really frustrated and kept moving us around. I didn't realize why he was taking so long until he showed us our picture on the computer. Only half of me fit. So, if that wasn't humilitating enough, while he was printing our pictures he showed them to another employee and they both stood there in front of my face and laughed at me.

My husband didn't see what happened and when he saw the tears in my eyes I told him I wasn't feeling well and just wanted to leave. I was banded on 12/26/07 and once I have lost enough weight I will go back into that photo shop, ask about having my photo done, and then tell them to f-off because I'm going to bring my business elsewhere.

Jenn

[c7777christine 1]

My family was the worst! I remember as a child walking out of the elevator when my grandma said, " oh that poor woman what a pig she is so fat." My sister agreed with her. At a very early my family made it clear to be fat is to be un-lovable. To be fat is to be stupid and lazy. How stupid are they. Being able to discriminate against people who are over weight is the last acceptable discrimination. Totally lame and un acceptable!!!

[ingyrob 1]

Going back to being waited on in a store. I was in a cafe in a queue waiting to be served and the assistant ignored me several times going to the person at the back of me each time. So I went behind the counter and said "excuse me, I am invisible?" Well she was so embarrassed, she did not know what to do. I just stalked off and went somewhere else.

There definitely is discrimination against fatties. Even my mother. I did not tell my family until eight months down the line, when I had lost 80lbs and my mother said "you still have a long way to go". Which is true, but she could have said that I had done well so far couldn't she?

However the discrimination amuses me because they are just ignorant! I once had a co worker who said that her husband could not stand fat, they never had any in the house. They did not use any sort of fat for cooking as he found it repugnant. However she had the driest skin I have ever seen and I would have loved to say "no wonder you have very dry skin then", but I would not be so unkind.

[restrict2008 0]

no fat is ridiculous, what about Omega 3, 6, and 9 fatty acids? Some oils are necessary and healthy. Not just your skin but the layer surrounding your neurons needs fat. Her skin is a reflection of her general health. Your coworker is an idiot.

[MacMadame 81]

I sometimes get ignored at stores. But my kids get it much worse than me. They can stand at a counter for days being ignored if I don't go up and rescue them.

So I guess being a kid is much worse than being fat!

[ingyrob 1]

entered by restrict2008

no fat is ridiculous, what about Omega 3, 6, and 9 fatty acids? Some oils are necessary and healthy. Not just your skin but the layer surrounding your neurons needs fat. Her skin is a reflection of her general health. Your coworker is an idiot.

Yes I know, but she has moved away now so I can't enlighten her.<!-- google_ad_section_end -->

[Gone4Now 4]

I haven't read the rest of the replies to this thread, so forgive me if this has been addressed already.

I find what you're saying, Wheetsin, to be very interesting. I never would have imagined that "normal" people are biased against, too. :drool: I've been fat forever, so I've never experienced that feeling of being overlooked and NOT thinking it was because I'm fat.

Growing up, kids made fun of me because I was fat. My best friend's grandmother used to make comments...I was always in competition with my 3 size 0 cousins who were my age. SO - I'm wondering if I was programmed from an early age to think any discrimination was because of my weight, or if it was real. Certainly the fat jokes were. But, kids are kids....if you have a weird haircut, or scars that are visible - they'll latch on to those kinds of things to make fun of - basically anything that is different.

Very interesting to think about.

I do know that there have been instances where I know people thought poorly of me because of my weight. But, I'm starting to think that maybe not ALL cases were because of my being fat. Maybe it was my own perception of myself. The kicker there is - Does that mean I discriminate against fat people?? :sneaky:

I'm anxious to become normal and see how much I get overlooked vs. being fat.

To be fair, there's still economic status, physical attributes we can't fix - at all or within reason, lots of personal lifestyle choices that aren't yet protected by law, etc.

I experienced these things thin, and I experienced them fat. I don't think that when I experienced them fat, it was because I was fat. But I do think I might have *perceived* them as being because I was fat if I hadn't also experienced them while thin. Being fat is something we're constantly aware of, and it's easy to say "It's because I'm fat" because of that, whether it is or not. Just like hen you know you look crappy some day, you're probably going to attribute any negative experiences you have to looking crappy. Thin, I've walked into a Dillard's nicely dressed and had exceptional service, and I've walked in casually dressed and had not so great service. Honestly, if I walked in fat and didn't get great service, I would be more likely to think -- person is having a bad day, person doesn't perceive me as a commission, etc. than "person thinks I'm too fat."

[Angelyco 0]

I have personally experienced discrimination due to my weight. I have also had the same experiences with sales people not acknowledging me. In high school, I was in marching band and I had to wear my own black pants because they refused to order bigger uniform ones to fit me, even though they special ordered a full uniform for a really skinny guy. I auditioned for the flag team and was rejected, despite being better than most of the girls who were accepted (I guess they'd rather have me in the unflattering marching band top with my own pants than put me in a leotard and dance pants). I tried out for the dance team with 4 years of dance lessons and got rejected--I was even told by one of the captains that I was the best dancer that tried out but the other members wouldn't vote for me because of my weight.

I had a street vendor in Manhattan, who had never seen me before in my entire life, ask me why I'm not trying to lose weight. How the heck would he even know if I was or not?! This was also in the middle of him accepting my money, you'd think he would be a little nicer to someone who's buying from him.

The worst thing, though, is when my own mother told me that the reason I couldn't get a job right out of college was because of my weight, and she said it to be hurtful instead of trying to comfort me when I didn't get job offers. Her idea of motivation is to make me feel like shit. She forgot that I only had about 3 interviews out of 20 resumes sent out, and my picture wasn't included in the resume! So duh, it couldn't be my weight if they don't even see me before rejecting me.

I think one problem with having weight be a non-discrimination criteria is that I don't think people always realize that the reason they don't like someone right away (like in job interviews) is because of weight. For some people, I think it's a subconscious discrimination and harder to prove later on.

[want2beme 2]

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I feel like I have been discriminated against in many ways, my sister didn't want me in her wedding because I didn't fit the dress she wanted,

The doctor who assumed the need for a skin graft was my own fault because I was fat and refused to let me have anesthesia for the procedure, even though the anesthesiologist and all nurses thought I needed it. (Ever had a skin graft with a local?) The doctor who told me they gave me enough medicine to stop a horse when I had a colonoscopy and couldn't understand why I woke up twice, the airplane company that charges double for a person who weighs over 250, (Bet they don't give a discount for people under 150), theater seats, bus seats, airplane seats, toilet stalls, none of them are very accommodating. Yes, I may have an attitude that brings out the best in people, but I am well educated and usually well dressed, work out four times a week, carry myself well, but people still look past me when I need assistance in a store, I'm very outgoing and never met a stranger but people do treat heavy people differently and often assume we are lazy, slovenly, illiterate, and want to be this way. Let me tell you, I didn't choose to be fat, I was dealt the genes and body make-up that I have and have to live with it. I am pumped about my band. Not everyone I encounter treats me this way. I look past doctors who seem to have a problem seeing past the layer of fat and find one willing to look at the person that I am and help me with my unique health problems. The people I work with depend on me and know how hard I work to be the best that I can be. Yes, I have limitations but so do thin people.

Sorry for the long rant but as you can tell, this is one of my hot button issues.

Good luck to everyone on this board. We all come from unique circumstances and backgrounds but we are all dealing with what we have to and trying to get healthier.

I must tell you, I was not in two of my best friend's weddings b/c of my weight. Do you know how many times I've heard (from each of them), "I really wanted you in my wedding! We just had too many of my husbands relatives taking over! If I could do it again, you'd be in it!"

barf :drool:

[Bergdorfblonde 3]

Fat discrimination is rampant and totally legal. You can't discriminate against people cuz of their color, gender or sexual orientation, yet people think its ok to treat fat people like 2nd class citizens. Even movies and commercials think it is hillarious to mock fat people. I really think its no different than any other kind of discrimination.