Who know, who doesn't, and why???

[phowell 0]

I have told more people now that I have been banded, but before I just didn't think it was everyone's business. I work with some catty women that like to talk about everybody and I just didn't think they needed to know. I did tell my family and my sister has been the one that I have problems with. She just can't understand how you could have WLS and then go out and eat a cheeseburger to ruin it. I said "Oh, so since I had this done I am only allowed to eat carrots and celery forever?" She has a problem with this because she thinks she is fat and has about 5 pounds to lose! She just doesn't understand the struggle I have gone through in my life so I know that is where a lot of her attitude toward this comes from!

[simmons775 0]

I told everyone about my lap-band because I am really proud of what I have done. The lap-band has been a tool for me because I have to work super hard to make the weight come off. It never just melted off. I have quite a bit to go still, and I just keep chugging away at it. I work out 5 days a week for an hour after my 2 little boys go to bed. Even if I have to wait until 10 at night, I still fit it into my life. I just know that I have to. Don't ever be ashamed about what you have done because there is nothing wrong with asking for help. Sometimes even the strongest most disciplined people need help. Kelly:biggrin:

[want2beme 2]

I told EVERYBODY! The reason is because I needed the encouragement. Yeah, there were a few against it, but that's expected. Mostly, all my co-workers have been sooo supportive and I am so happy! My family too.

I also tell everybody because if somebody is interested in the surgery, I'd like to help them and give them advice. It can save lives and I I think the more people who know the better!

[RoseCity Girl 0]

I have told the people that are closest to me and I told my boss at work. I have struggled with my weight for the past 7 years and Lord knows that I have shared those struggles with those closest to me. I think that my husband got upset with me, because initially we said that we were not telling anyone, but the when I got the insurance approval I could not hold it. My mother, is one of these Southern women who think that something such as WLS is just too extreme and believes that I am just fine the way I am. But she is my mother and how could I go through something this huge and not tell my mother? I finally got the nerve to tell her and after a five minute silence, she said that she does not agree with my decision, but she will support me. That was the best news ever! Sorry so long, but I guess the short of the story is that I don't care what people think of my decision to have the surgery. I am not ashamed of my my decision and I look forward to a healthier and thinner me in 2008.

[restrict2008 0]

I've had the opportunity to have several friends who have had the surgery and am glad that they have been a support system for me. However, sometimes, I just get sick and tired of talking about it. Yes, I have made a life-changing decision and have had the surgery. BUT, that truly does not define WHO I am. I'm still going to be opinionated, outspoken and an all around fantastic person! I just won't be as ROUND as I once was.

I too, did this to help in advancing myself in my career. I want to go into an interview to be a school principal looking like I will be capable of walking those hallowed halls and be able to keep up with the students!

However, one of my favorite things, lately, is seeing someone I haven't seen in a few weeks... and them telling me how much they think I've changed. It's a really good self-esteem booster. I want to remain humble, but DAMN it feels good!

oh hell girl- better a big head than a big butt i say!!

[kudo 0]

u go girl. Hope everything go okay

[ugagirl 0]

Now that I've had the surgery I am telling more and more people. I was really stressed before the surgery, for a number of reasons but I don't know if it's the pain meds or me just being so bored from laying around resting, but I just find myself telling folks.

I still don't plan on telling folks at work, because no matter how many pain meds I take, I will never think of telling a bunch of selfish negative nancy's is a good idea.

[~Bridgette~ 0]

I haven't gone through the process yet for the surgery but last spring/summer I had decided to proceed.... until I visited my parents... I'm very close to them and as I was explaining the surgery, they started with about 150 questions and basically questioned if I'd tried the diets hard enough to resort to surgery. By the end of the weekend, I had lost my resolve and decided to try the diet/exercise route on my own before "giving in" to surgery. Now 7 months later, weighing about 5 pounds more, and feeling much more discouraged than before, here I am again. I know they'd kill me if they found out I had surgery and didn't tell them, but I don't know if I can count on them to be positive when I'm facing fear of surgery as it is. I know the surgery isn't a "quick fix" but I know it is a tool that would help me to get healthy as I can't do it on my own.

So here I am, trying to learn more and make my own decision this time. I'm 34 and feel I'm trapped in a body that is killing me... My folks are worried I'll die from the surgery, I'm scared I'll die without it. My health is quickly deteriorating and I want to LIVE my life. KWIM?

[angelic_1 0]

I have only told my husband and mom. I would like to tell the rest of my family because we are all usually pretty open with one another. But I am the only fat one of my siblings and I don't trust that my in-laws wouldn't gossip with everyone (my husband has a couple of family members who had gastric bypass and everyone constantly asks about them!)

I'm still waiting for my insurance approval, but I am confident it will come through soon as I spoke with Blue Cross about it and they pre-approved based on doctor's opinion. Frankly, I am scared that this won't work. I have tried so many diets in the past and was unsuccessful or ained the weight, plus some, back. I am so glad I found this forum because reading what everyone else has experienced really helps me become a little optomistic. I know I have a thin, fit person inside of me- she just needs a little help coming out!

[GreenChrysalis 1]

Hey Bridgette,

I do know what you mean. You're an adult, and you shouldn't have to justify your decision to take charge of your health. Is there any way that you can say, "I know that you don't agree with this, but this is what I believe I need to do to become healthy and I'd appreciate your support instead of your judgment"? If they think that having the surgery is "giving in" or a "quick fix," you could suggest that they educate themselves about it.

Of course, I should take my own advice, as I have no intentions of telling my parents and have never mentioned having lapband or any other WLS to them. They have made it perfectly clear from comments made about others that any kind of WLS is a cop out. They have not been supportive through any of my attempts to lose weight. So I feel that it's reasonable to expect that they wouldn't support this, either. I may regret not telling them, but right now I'm OK with that decision.

You have to do what is right for you. Your parents aren't the ones carrying around that extra weight. You are.

I haven't gone through the process yet for the surgery but last spring/summer I had decided to proceed.... until I visited my parents... I'm very close to them and as I was explaining the surgery, they started with about 150 questions and basically questioned if I'd tried the diets hard enough to resort to surgery. By the end of the weekend, I had lost my resolve and decided to try the diet/exercise route on my own before "giving in" to surgery. Now 7 months later, weighing about 5 pounds more, and feeling much more discouraged than before, here I am again. I know they'd kill me if they found out I had surgery and didn't tell them, but I don't know if I can count on them to be positive when I'm facing fear of surgery as it is. I know the surgery isn't a "quick fix" but I know it is a tool that would help me to get healthy as I can't do it on my own.

So here I am, trying to learn more and make my own decision this time. I'm 34 and feel I'm trapped in a body that is killing me... My folks are worried I'll die from the surgery, I'm scared I'll die without it. My health is quickly deteriorating and I want to LIVE my life. KWIM?

[~Bridgette~ 0]

Thanks for the positive feedback.

I was talking to a good friend, who happens to be studying for her degree in dietetics focussing on post WLS patients. She has done a lot of studying of the various procedures, etc. and she had something very insightful to say.

I was telling her that I think my folks are afraid for me that I will "fail" at this b/c I'm not determined enough. Because *if* I had what it takes to stick to something like a diet/exercise, I wouldn't need the band.

She reminded me that my body simply isn't able to support what I want to do. So even with all of the determination in the world, my body is currently working against me. My stomach allows me to eat all I want to, without any consequences. The lap band is a tool, that will help me to be accountable to the lifestyle I need to live to lose the weight.

[loseit7 0]

I am still in the hoping and praying stage of all this, but I have told a few people that this is what I want to do. My dad and my husband were the ones to bring the diabetes statistics (about how successful lapband patients are at getting rid of their symptoms) to my attention, so they are both totally supportive. Then my mom, two good friends and my boss know. My boss only knows because I felt she deserved an explanation for all the doctors appointments and she is SUPER supportive.

I don't plan on telling anyone else until I actually have the band done. At that point, though, I know I will tell anyone who will listen because I have a tendency to "overshare." :eek:

[biggestloser2be 0]

I only told my husband, Mother-inlaw, my family (out of town), best friend and one co-worker. I would love to tell all my co-workers but I have been a yo-yo dieter for so many years. The most I lost was 60 pounds at LA Weight Loss and then when I went off it I gain all and then some back. I also hear from the men in my department that if I just controlled what I ate and exercised I would lose it. A couple of people at work had the gastric Bypass done and dropped the weight quickly. With the lapbad you don't and I don't need them saying I should have done the by-pass. I need the encouragement not the "you should have done this or you should do this" comments. My dad really didn't say anything bad, he just wants me to be healthy and happy. My sister asked me a lot of questions because she is overweight too. I get the support I need from the people that I have told and I don't have to hear the negative comments from co-workers. This makes it easier for me.

[kyteachjules 0]

My mother, is one of these Southern women who think that something such as WLS is just too extreme and believes that I am just fine the way I am. But she is my mother and how could I go through something this huge and not tell my mother? I finally got the nerve to tell her and after a five minute silence, she said that she does not agree with my decision, but she will support me.

My gosh, are you sure we aren't related?????????????????? My mom (we shall call her JANE, because, well that's her name) told me minutes before my surgery, "I still don't agree with this, but I guess you are going to do it anyway, huh?"

I've told this before, but the biggest and most apparent reason I had surgery was because I attended a funeral nearly a year ago now and I, at 5'10" and 354 lbs, was the SMALLEST/THINNEST of all of my cousins, male and female. I was second to youngest, also. At that point, I realized that I did not want to live the life that all of these men and women were living. One female cousin has a new Cadillac DeVille and is unable to fit behind the steering wheel, even with the seat laying all the way down and pushed all the way back. She has someone drive her (and, no offense, it has to be a tiny person) because she takes up most of the front seat. That being said, I really dread going to big family event. Not because I won't be my normal, adorable self :thumbup: but because I would love to encourage my whole family to make changes, even if that means WLS. I don't want to be the martyr of the family, I want to be the success. I guess it is a thin line I tread when we next get together.

As far as telling people, I'm really open (as most of you have read!). But lately, there have been several people at church who have approached me. I've shared with many of the people, simply because I'd rather tell people myself, rather than the whole GOSSIPY structure of discussion that follow people everywhere. Since 4 individuals, not including myself, have had the surgery, we are working on developing a church-scripture based support group (we have a congregation of around 400, or so). Hopefully, we can implement this in the next few months. We do have a First-Place program (biblically based weight loss program) and can hopefully integrate the two.

I guess the whole big purpose of this rambling message is... SUPPORT is essential to our success. I know many of us think that we can do it on our own, but honestly, isn't that how we ended up obese? We thought we were doing what was best for our bodies, but obviously, we weren't If we have people in our lives who can help and make things better, why not use those resources? We will gain confidence and build a better self-esteem with support, love and excellent, healthy bodies!:smile: