Eating with Other People

[Jennie1976 1]

Does anyone else feel the need to overeat because you are with other people? I haven't told most people about my surgery, and, when I'm eating with others, I feel this pressure to eat a more "normal" amount. For example, today, my coworkers (none of whom know about my surgery) and I went to Taco Bell for lunch. They ordered different value meals. I ordered a taco...and couldn't finish it. Usually, I try and try to eat a bit more so that I look more "normal", but not doing so is now one of my New Years resolutions. So, today I ate half a taco. No one said anything, but I still feel stupid...like I'm admitting I'm fat (which isn't a suprise to those who see me, I'm sure :-)]

Does anyone else feel this way, and, if so, how do you deal with it?

[faithmd 14]

I do, and I wish I could tell you how to deal with it, but I just don't know. Perhaps that is one of the big reasons why I haven't lost any weight in the past four months.

I know what you mean, when you are in a group it is a bit hard to have say half a burrito. Invariably someone asks you if it was bad, or what was wrong with it. Or they look at me like, "What, is the fat chick trying to make it look good by eating like a bird?"

I dunno, guess it's one of thos things I will have to overcome. And I had thought I had resolved so much head stuff already. I truly haven't!

[Skinny_Jill 36]

Not me. I've always tried to eat as little as possible around others. It didn't always work. Now if anyone asks I say that I had a late Breakfast and am not very hungry.

[jennibee 3]

I have been having this problem too. With my friends most social outings revolve around food. They all know about my surgery and are very supportive, but I can't help but feel weird around them. I don't usually overeat to feel "normal" I just sit there while everybody else is on their second plate at the buffet or ordering dessert. I feel kind of left out in a way. I felt sad during Thanksgiving dinner because my plate was barren compared to everybody else. and even though I chewed everything ten billion times I was finshed way before them. I guess this is something that I'll have to work through myself. It's nice to know that I'm not the only person floundering in social situations that involve food.

[dgarrett 0]

when I first started this journey, I didn't tell anyone either and when it came to lunch time I didn't know how I was going to handle it either. I just told all my co-workers that I was cutting down on my eating because I want and need to lose weight, that I was practicing Portion Control, which is what it is only better because you have a barrier and it keeps you from crossing it. So, cut to 16 months later, 83 lbs lighter and wearing a size 4, it worked like a charm. Now, most of my co-workers know and are extremely supportive.

[jfran 0]

<p>For most of the 7 months I have been banded I have had no restriction so I can eat "normal" amounts. I have only had 2 fills and this is probably why I can eat. I have enjoyed being "normal" and no one suspects surgery or even diet. Most just think I am trying to eat healthy. Well it worked for 7 months and now my weight loss is stalling and I am going to have to get a fill. I am scared that with this fill I won't be able to eat the "normal" amounts and my friends and fam will start to suspect/notice. </p> <p> </p> <p>i am going to just have to get over it because I still have 35-40lbs to lose and without help it is going to take me FOREVER.</p>

[juno610 1]

Sometimes I feel the need to eat more, but usually I just get pissed off about how much longer it takes me to eat. Well, it's not that in particular the angers me -- it's more that even people who know I have a band don't seem to take my slower eating into consideration. For instance, once I was out to dinner with my mom and sister. I was literally about 4 bites in when I realized that the waiter had already brought them doggie bags and the check. Someone picked up their purse to go, and I said, "Are you kidding me?" Granted, it was Italian food, which I have to be a little more careful with, but I didn't think I was eating all that ridiculously slow. Enough of my rant LOL

Actually, sometimes I get grossed out by how much I see other people eating. We were at a Coney last week and I was eating my usual cup of chili and stealing a few of DH's fries. I looked over to see some dude with 3 coney dogs, a bowl of chili, and a plate of cheese fries in front of him. All I could think was YUCK.

A blessing and a curse, I guess.

[ugagirl 0]

I don't have a band yet, but I wanted to say I've been dieting for the past 7 months and my friends are great when we go out to dinner. They are impressed with the portions I eat and the foods I choose and never put any bad food in front of me to tempt me.

[My Life Back 1]

Actually, sometimes I get grossed out by how much I see other people eating. We were at a Coney last week and I was eating my usual cup of chili and stealing a few of DH's fries. I looked over to see some dude with 3 coney dogs, a bowl of chili, and a plate of cheese fries in front of him. All I could think was YUCK.

A blessing and a curse, I guess.

I had never thought of it that way before - I can SO see myself feeling that way - not like an "I'm better than you" kind of thing, but maybe a self-reflection or a realization that that used to be us?!?!?!?!?!?

It is very similar to an ex-smoker.

I quit cold turkey 7 months ago :clap2:- I can tell you that I am at a point to where I only think about cigarettes when I see someone else smoking or when I "smell" someone. And what I think about them is NOT that I want one, but I feel pity and disgust.

I can tell you that I get grossed out at the smell and the sight of how "stupid" someone looks smoking a cigarette. (I smoked for 24 yrs - yes, I started when I was 12!) They say there is nothing worse than an ex-smoker, and they are right. I want to share my knowledge and can-do ways with everyone I see who is toking away, but I know I have to keep things to myself as that was the one thing I HATED - someone who preached to me about quitting.

I can see myself feeling the same way after surgery.

So it makes me wonder, if there is something just as bad as an ex-smoker.... an bandster....lol :heh:

[midnightblue12 0]

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I haven’t told many people that I have the band. My DH and I have started eating off the same plate when ever we go out. The portions at restaurants are huge I actually never realized how huge until I got the lapband. It saves us money when we go out alone because we are only paying for one entrée and when we are out with other people it takes the pressure off of me! Other people can’t tell how much I’ve eaten when the plate ends up emptyJ I find that people are very concerned when it comes to how much food I consumed.. this was the case when I was heavy and now that I am a normal size some times I just want to tell them to keep their eyes on their own plate!! <o:p></o:p>

When I go out for work functions I order Soup so I don’t have to worry about something getting stuck. I also try and avoid the work lunch thing along together unless it is with trusted friends that already know I have the band so where share a meal n I just exclaim I’m not very hungerJ

TIM

[Anyalee 0]

Does anyone else feel the need to overeat because you are with other people? I haven't told most people about my surgery, and, when I'm eating with others, I feel this pressure to eat a more "normal" amount. For example, today, my coworkers (none of whom know about my surgery) and I went to Taco Bell for lunch. They ordered different value meals. I ordered a taco...and couldn't finish it. Usually, I try and try to eat a bit more so that I look more "normal", but not doing so is now one of my New Years resolutions. So, today I ate half a taco. No one said anything, but I still feel stupid...like I'm admitting I'm fat (which isn't a suprise to those who see me, I'm sure :-)]

Does anyone else feel this way, and, if so, how do you deal with it?

I gotta tell you I would much prefer this to what usually happens to me. I used to go to a taco place with my family and order a value meal. Then they would promptly order a taco. That's it. They'd eat the whole taco, but I mean come on! A taco? Now it's AWESOME to eat a half a taco. So much cheaper, too. I love eating at lunch with all the other faculty & I only eat my half a cup of food or half of a slimfast. It makes me feel great! Whooorah!:eek:

[TulipStar 2]

I have this problem and it has been so embarassing! Especially if I have to get up and leave to PB bc I can't get it down. For Christmas it was the worst... 12 people, some extended family and most don't know about the band. I could only eat like 2 bites and then I just sat there and stared at everyone.

I have always eaten very little in front of people. I used to be so self conscious about it that it led to Anorexia at one point in my life. When I first starting dating my now hubby, I didn't eat in front of him for a good 3 months or so. This was tough, bc we were living together too.

However the amount of food I can eat now is ridiculously small...(a couple bites?!) so I just do the best I can to "hide" it. Push my food around. get up to clear my plate 1st, etc.

[Foofy 0]

Aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

I just stumbled on this and read all at once. I am sorry, but I jsut have to get this out of my system.

It makes me sad that people are worried about what other people will think of how little they are eating. This is the kind of behavior that gets us fat in the first place. Trying to "please" everyone or "fit in" or not look "wierd".

Who gives a damn what other people think? They probably want to see you eat more so they don't feel bad for overeating.

Don't worry about what YOU think THEY think. Maybe it's because I was a vegetarian in Montana for many years (THAT is a fish out of Water - believe me), but I don't pay the slightest attention to people's reaction to what I eat. I am proud of my weight loss and am not jeopordizing it for anyone. If someone rides you about it they are either insecure, ignorant, jealous, or all three.

Be a shining example for the people you are with. Eat sensibly and live a wonderful life!!!!!

[Lap_dancer 8]

Most of my close pals know I've had the surgery. My problem is I order too much. Consider take home boxes next time. It gives you another meal or a Protein nibbler if you are feeling a bit hungry.

[Paulax 8]

I also hate eating around people who don't know about my surgery, especially at restaurants.

I have mastered the pushing the food around the plate, putting food on my dh's plate and taking my dish from the table early and trashing the food that doesn't fit into my pouch and clearing the table. At a restaurant, I will only order an appy or Soup and ask the server to remove the food when I am done.